hate when people tell me how to raise my kids

@chelsit (105)
United States
July 9, 2009 5:52pm CST
It seems everywhere I go people are giving me advise on how to raise my kids from strangers to family members, they want to tell me what school to send them to, what to do if they get a cold and even what sort of clothes to have them wear, but mu husband says I am a pushover I should just tell them to mind their own business. So is there a nice way to say butt out to close friends and family members who want to meddle in your life and tell you how to raise your kids.
2 people like this
6 responses
@schulzie (4068)
• United States
9 Jul 09
I have had that happen to me through the years. I have 4 kids, ranging from 18 down to 4. I find simply to just act like you are listening but to really just ignore them is the easiest way to deal with it. You do what you know is right in raising your own children. They can do what they want with their own children. But ultimately you are the parent so you make the groundrules. Now if it is someone you don't know then you could tell them to buzz off really. Hope that helps... Thanks for your comment and have a nice day.
10 Jul 09
Would just like to say that i totally agree with everything you have said here. I have 4 children as well ranging from 18 to 7 and i am always being told what is best for them especially by their grandmother and aunt. Sometimes i wish i had the courage to tell them to butt out but like you said it is sometimes easier to act like you are listening to what they have to say. We as the mothers know what is best for our children and people should just realise it.
@thea09 (18329)
• Greece
11 Jul 09
Hello chelsit, I am lucky in that I do not receive advice from all and sundry on how to raise my son, everyone can see he is well raised, polite and clever. We live in Greece though so of course my son has a Greek godmother and it is her role in our lives to butt in all the time and criticise me constantly, I am about at the end of my tether with her to be honest. She says I don't feed my son properly, her reasoning for that is that he is not overweight, Greek godmothers like to try and forcefeed moussakas down the child's throat at each given opportunity. I don't dress him properly, no matter what the tempreture he should be wrapped up in lots of layers to keep out the cold, it's actually 39degrees C today. Course if he was wrapped in lots of clothes he would look fat enought to pass as being properly fed. I keep him up too late if we are outside at 8pm on a schoolnight but I send him to bed too early to go to church at midnight. I shouldn't let him eat sweets which I hardly ever do and then she buys them for him. The list goes on. I have decided that avoidance is the best way to avoid her criticisms.
@DrPain (31)
• United States
10 Jul 09
I understand you pain. Only you know how to reaise your kids. I wish someone would tell me how to raise my kids. They would have another thing coming.
• United States
9 Jul 09
I am a single mother of 4. They are ages 12, 8, 18 months, and 3 months. People are always giving me unwanted advice. I don't mind the "help" if it comes from my parents or the kids' doctor. But I, like yourself, hate it when strangers decide to tell me what to do. I usually end up smiling and saying "thank you for the suggestion, but I have found that our way works for us." It usually makes people stop.
• United States
9 Jul 09
Yes, I absolutely hate it when other people think that they know how to raise my children better than I do. This is something that I get all of the time because they don't like the decisions that I make for myself, and for my two children. I don't mind receiving advice, but sometimes it's just not needed.
@Wizzywig (7860)
9 Jul 09
I suppose you could tell them that you appreciate that they care about your children but that you already have enough opinions to choose what's best for YOUR children... I remember a woman sitting beside me on a train journey when my son was about 9months old. She told me what i should be feeding him, where I should be taking him and what toys I should be buying. Then she opened a packet of chocolate biscuits, waving them around before eating them midst lots of 'mmmm' sounds. She said he was very good for not trying to get them. I said he didnt know what they were! She said he didnt look like me...or my husband & did he look like anyone else in the family (no,not really) & had he looked like anyone in the family when he was born... I told her he'd looked like both of his grandfathers - because he'd had no teeth and very little hair. She packed away her biscuits and moved.