Do people get angry at you if you speak the truth?

United States
July 15, 2009 2:06pm CST
Every single time I say something that is true, people hate me for it. This has happened to me on several occasions. In fact, on July 13th and July 14th, I said some things that were true, and now everyone hates me for it. Why? I thought that people should tell the truth? I thought that the saying was, "The truth shall set you free"? Lately, I am hearing, "Don't say that!", "That's not nice!", "They don't want to hear that", or "If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all". This is bulls***! Those things contridict the whole "truth will set you free" saying. So, do people get angry when they hear the truth? Should we really say nothing mean to people, even if it is true? Do we really have to be nice to everyone?
4 people like this
19 responses
• United States
16 Jul 09
I think being honest has it's limits, if you know it's going to be hurtful and not constructive then don't say it, it needs to have it's positive output otherwise it's not helpful and just not proper in this world for you to say. But if you hvae to be extremely aggressive to get a point across and use harsh meanings it's most likely that the person in question just doesn't like hearing bad things and doesn't even know about this saying.
2 people like this
• United States
16 Jul 09
I totally agree with you, if a person feels like they've been insulted or attacked, then they will try to stick up for themselves. If you're going to tell the truth, I recommend doing it in a way that doesn't make the other person feel like you just stepped on their toes, unless they REALLY deserve it.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Jul 09
So what I am hearing is based on the situation, the person, and what you are going to say to them is how you should tell them the truth, or say nothing at all? You have to be able to predict people in order to know when to say something to them?
• United States
17 Jul 09
Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying, and if you utterly can't think of a way that's not going to completely make them feel bad, then just say it, it doesn't usually help if you lie... Just got pulled over last night by a sheriff, I'm only 15 didn't have an ID on me, and had 3 others with me in the car. Someone with a legal license was in the back seat to, luckily I got off free cause I told the sheriff what was true, and same for my mom, though my mom was mad I stole her car.
1 person likes this
@ShellyB (5247)
• United States
15 Jul 09
Well the truth will set you free is in the New Testament. John 8:31-32 (New International Version) 31To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. 32Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." He was talking about the scribes and the laws that they put as a heavy load to the people of Israel, making them slaves for the Law while the Scribes and Spiritual leaders of his time would not do them. They live by their own laws. It is not about being honest and saying whatever pops up in your head, there is the truth, and there is a moment to speak the truth, if someone is down on their luck, do they want to hear the truth at that moment. No, finding a moment to be truthful is as important as being honest, and if the truth is going to hurt people, then do abstain from telling the truth and wait till the right moment.
2 people like this
• United States
15 Jul 09
See what you have just said, contradicts that statement. "A time to be truthful"... when is there ever a time for that? There is never a time to be truthful because no one likes hearing the truth. The truth hurts. People don't want to hear the truth.
@ShellyB (5247)
• United States
15 Jul 09
Well let's put it this way, you know these people, and we establish truth hurts. When are you going to tell them the truth, when they are hurting the most or when they seem open to talk about their problem? The difference is wisdom. And since we are quoting Jesus Christ, he withheld the truth, and told parables instead, He told his disciples when they ask him why was he talking in riddles and parables, why not tell the truth like it was, he said it was not his time to go. SO, yes, there is a time and a place for everything e3ven the truth.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Jul 09
Boy, even Jesus had trouble telling it like it is.
@candy2306 (577)
• India
16 Jul 09
I must agree with you! I've been in the same situation when I give my opinion. Being very truthful is not favourable to all actually. But yeah, they won't like if someone lies! All I can tell you is be careful when you tell the truth. If the fact gonna hurt someone, try giving examples and hit around the bush a lil then get to the point! Still they'll hate you, I guess we must consider ones feelings too!
2 people like this
• United States
17 Jul 09
That is the problem with people, if you tell them the truth, it could hurt them, but if you don't say anything to them at all, it could hurt them as well. Either way, you really cannot win.
@smileonstar (4016)
• United States
15 Jul 09
Hello, I think it is depend on how you say it. sometimes you say it but the way you say it sounds like you attacking them, and some other people can't take it cuz it is too truth... well, for me... I dont really care what you say but you have to respect what you want to say to me, otherwise I will get right back at you for sure. lolz. just kidding... im not that kind of person at all.
2 people like this
• United States
17 Jul 09
Basically, don't be brutal when telling the truth, tell the truth in a simple and caring manner?
• United States
16 Jul 09
Well you are right! People don't like to hear the truth but maybe it is not what you say but how you say it. Try to say it differently or give the person hides on the truth. No one like to be on the hot seat. Look at there position and try to see it there way.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Jul 09
That could be. The way I say it seems to mean more than just saying it.
• Jamaica
16 Jul 09
I have experienced in my life that people can't handle the truth when many times the truth is staring them straight in the face. Most people I encounter when yo tell them the truth they either malice you or the ignore you. I just reach a point in my life that I start keep my distance.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Jul 09
I am sorry that it has had to come to that for you. No one should have to do that people, but I see what you mean.
@jpso138 (7832)
• Philippines
16 Jul 09
That is the irony of it. I have heard about the saying that the truth shall set you free, sad to note that there are those that tell the truth and paid for their life. Well, in normal situations, there are people who cannot afford to handle even the slightest comment about their appearance, their attitude. So we have to lie a little bit unless that person is really your friend and accepts your criticism in a positive manner.
• United States
20 Jul 09
Another person who is telling me what a lot of other people on this thread are telling me. Thanks for posting.
• Canada
16 Jul 09
Rouge good topic btw lol umm 1 its beter to be truthfull then a lieer even thow it gets some people pissed . No you dont need to be nice to everyone but its nice to be curdious and pollite to people but if u want to be u can be like i can be at times lol . -dylan D
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Jul 09
It is proper to be curtious to people and to be polite to people, but when you see those people walking off of the side of a cliff, what do you do then?
• India
16 Jul 09
It depends on the kind of truth that you are stating as well s the circumstances, My experince with telling the truth has been mixed . But by and large I have found people handling it pretty well ,though intially they might be disgruntled,but most of the times they secretly appreciate the fact that you have the guts to utter the truth . Also it is much easier to speak the truth than lying .
• United States
17 Jul 09
I am hearing a lot of the same things from most of the people on this thread. Everyone seems to be saying that it is all about the time and the situation.
@Ritchelle (3798)
• Philippines
16 Jul 09
when i was in high school i oftentimes get this reaction. till i took up psychology as a degree in college and was able to find out that people getting angry when you get brave to speak the truth would be lessened if one only tells the truth if asked to. otherwise, they just get a diplomatic answer .
• United States
17 Jul 09
You are the fifth or sixth person to tell me that the truth is diplomatic.
• United States
15 Jul 09
Truth told depends on how others look at it, or on how you say it. If you tell the truth in a way where perhaps no one wanted to know, or hear it then of course it will be offensive to them. Truth hurts, but sometimes, you have to keep that truth to yourself. Like keeping a secret, if someone tells you to keep a secret then you do it, even if it's something that you want to share or say. Even if it's some sort of truth that will hurt someone, you have to keep it to yourself. Sometimes truth can ruin another persons life, and although it IS good to be honest and it IS good to share truth, it WILL hurt. Think about this next time you start telling the truth, if there is something that a certain person needs to know, share it with only that person, don't say it in front of others, because THAT is why people get upset. Not just the truth hurting but letting the world know, may be something that someone else didn't want the world to know at all. In other words, think before you speak.
• United States
17 Jul 09
I never really looked at it that way before. Not telling the truth is like keeping a secret. No matter how much you want to share it, you don't because you are told not to tell anyone that secret.
@lingli_78 (12861)
• Australia
15 Jul 09
oh yes... many people do because they just can't handle the truth and they only want to hear something that is nice to hear or good to their ears... that is the reality of living in a sinful world and all of us have fallen into sin as well... so that is the nature of a sinful human being as well... we prefer to hear something nice rather than the truth as we don't want to look bad and get hurt... take care and have a nice day...
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Jul 09
People don't like to hear the truth because of the sin they know they are committing, but they should hear it because it is the only way that they are going to realize what they are doing is wrong.
@voldrox (7202)
• India
15 Jul 09
hi, well the reason they don't like to hear the truth from you is just because they hoped for something better and when you finally tell them the truth they somehow get the feeling it was due to you that it happened that way, i have been there too, they just hope for the best and don't want something to happen bad and when i tell them it has gone bad, they just say "you had to say that!" and they turn away, it happens i don't know why sometimes people assume it that somehow it was because of me that it happened maybe it's just because i am the first one to know and tell the others, i don't tent to be like that by the way...
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Jul 09
See that is how I feel. Anything that I say causes people to turn from me because it is the truth and they don't like hearing it, but see this to me is funny. My step-father and a woman I know have money, and when they tell the truth or say anything, no speaks against them, and no one says anything to them. They obey, but a person like me, they turn their backs on me, why? Because I have nothing, and they do not have to hear it.
@sid556 (31031)
• United States
16 Jul 09
It all depends on just what sort of truth you are saying and also how you are saying it, etc. For example, your friend has a really bad hair-do going on. It would be rude to walk up and tell her that she looked horrible if she did not ask. Also remember that some truths are simply your opinions and not necesarilly facts. As I said it all depends on the situation, how you say it and what your motives are for saying it. I think most truths can be told in a kind way rather than hurtful.
1 person likes this
@rhinojam (23)
• United States
16 Jul 09
sometimes people do get angry but if that is the way you want to speak then who is to judge you. Sometimes people should hear you out and know that you only did that because you are a straightforward person
1 person likes this
16 Jul 09
I think it has a lot to do with how tactful you are with the truth. I've been called tactless a few times, just because I don't prefer to sugar coat the truth and have it misconstrued by whoever I'm giving my opinion to. Also how insecure the other person is has a lot to do with how well they take critism. I was actually watching Grey's Anatomy a little while ago, and she said "The truth about the truth is that it hurts, so we lie". Lying can get you into many a pickle. So I say tell the truth when you feel it needs to be said, but be aware that a lot of the time your truth is just your opinion...
• United States
16 Jul 09
Speaking the truth is like a double edged sword. There again, it depends on the situation surrounding it. Sometimes you have to take a look at the situation and see how sensitive it is and base how you respond on that. It sounds like people are pretty much saying they dont want their feelings hurt when they say dont say that, or that's not nice, etc. I feel that if someone doesn't want to hear the truth then dont ask the question. Sometimes after one thinks about what you tell them then they realize you are right. Personally, I had much rather someone tell me the truth than a lie. Granted I may get mad, but I will appreciate them more for it in the end.
• India
16 Jul 09
noo but few peoples who have lier they get angryy
@suchi60 (913)
• India
16 Jul 09
I would say that its better to be sorry now than later. Its a pretty bitter pill to swallow, but people do feel agitated when something is told to them in honesty. It may hurt them then and there, but think of the repurcussions they might have had to face, had you not told them. It takes a lot of guts to walk up to a friend and say, "What you did just now, was not right." But, hang on, its better to be told by a friend than a stranger, because the tone and language could be hard to digest.