married in my religion

Brunei Darussalam
July 27, 2009 9:11am CST
Hi.. I am a Muslim-Islam. One of the requirement for a muslim wife is to allow their husband to marry more than one. Of course, that Man must be well-prepared economical, mind, every single cell. Because to achieve fairness won't be easy though we are millionaire.However, some man are taking advantage of this un-necessary activity. In my opinion, I would agreed for my husband to marry another one to avoid from sin and shamefull. As a wife, whatever their husband had done will be the mirror to us. Good or bad, the blame will go to wife. Will you agree with such permission to marry more than one ?
4 people like this
13 responses
• United States
27 Jul 09
My religion no longer allows this practice. See at one point the Muslim and Christian religions where one in the same and being so we too used to have homes with more then one wife. Some christian sects still do this though in our country it is illegal to do so. I cannot answer if it is wrong or not. I can see pros and cons to both sides. Personally I would not like to share my husband with another. Neither of us feels comfortable with the thought of more then two people in a marriage, again that is a personal preference. If you are comfortable with it then why not as long as you husband doesn't treat you diffrent and you and the new wife get along well. Other wise it would be a very uncomfortable life indeed.
@eichs1 (1934)
• Philippines
28 Jul 09
I just want to point out that Christianity never changed it's concept and view about marriage. From the very beginning, Christ teaching is for man to have a woman and that they will become one as husband and wife. Bigamy or polygamy was never an option and are considered as sin. And, having another woman or man beside one's partner is considered concubinage which is another sin. If you read the Bible, you will know that some of Israel's Kings (including David and Solomon) have lots of wives but that does not mean that God changed his purpose about marriage. In fact, Jesus Christ reiterated the sanctity of one man-one woman marriage many times when he was doing his earthly mission.
• United States
28 Jul 09
I would like to point out that before Jesus and Mohammad the three base religions where the same and that yes marriage with multiple wives was excepted. Remember please that we Christians do have a history before Jesus and just because you may not now agree with many of the aspects of the time it still happened. Just as there where slaves and people could beat their kids. Remember also that we share the same few books of the Bible with the other religions and just because we all choose to adhere to diffrent sections that these books are still the same. We all have the same God we just chose to worship and follow his words differently. It's an ink blot we all see what we want to see.
@eichs1 (1934)
• Philippines
28 Jul 09
"I would like to point out that before Jesus and Mohammad the three base religions where the same and that yes marriage with multiple wives was excepted... Remember also that we share the same few books of the Bible with the other religions..." I am not sure what the third religion you have in mind because we are clearly talking about Muslim and Christianity. I do agree with you that both religion has a common history before Jesus and Mohammad came into the picture. I disagree though that having multiple wives is permitted. Just read the very firs book of the Bible and it will tell you God's design of marriage. "..and just because you may not now agree with many of the aspects of the time it still happened." I never said having multiple wives did not happen. I merely stated that having prominent people in the Bible with lots of wives does not mean they are doing it right and God approve of it. God did never change his stand on wife and husband being united as one. "Remember also that we share the same few books of the Bible with the other religions and just because we all choose to adhere to diffrent sections that these books are still the same. We all have the same God we just chose to worship and follow his words differently. It's an ink blot we all see what we want to see" I'm sorry if I seem to disagree with what other religions are teaching. But I have not even stated my opinion here. I am just stating facts based on what is written in the Bible.
• Philippines
27 Jul 09
That's one big advantage for men and disadvantage for women in the Muslim Marriage.wait? how can it be a sin if you allow him to marry another one. that's definitely not allowed in our religion, it becomes unfair to the women. well, regarding your question, it's your religion, i think am out of the line here. you should decide if it's fair or unfair.
• United States
27 Jul 09
I think she is saying its better to let him marry another woman than him cheat on her and that is a sin.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 Jul 09
oh, i forgot about that..thanks for enlightenment.but still...unfair for her...the attention will be divided for sure.
@1hopefulman (19541)
• Canada
27 Jul 09
Matthew 19:3-9 (New International Version) 3Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?" 4"Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,'[a] 5and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'[b]? 6So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." 7"Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?" 8Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery."
@1hopefulman (19541)
• Canada
27 Jul 09
Sorry, accidentally posted before I was finished. Matthew 19:3-9 (New International Version) 3Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?" 4"Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,'[a] 5and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'[b]? 6So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." 7"Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?" 8Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery." I go by that teaching. That originally God made Adam and Eve and married them, one husband and one wife. The two and not more would become "one flesh", that is, united in marriage. We should not deviate from that pattern. So I'll never understand why one would want more than one marriage partner.
1 person likes this
@awapak (1277)
• Pakistan
30 Jul 09
Please try to understand that Islam gives optional permission to a man to marry more than one wife if he can afford and do justice among all wives.It is not an order for all Muslim men.According to a survey ,today women population is more than men in all countries: 1.In USA..........7.8 Million women are more than men....... 2.In UK...........4.00 " " " 3.In Germany......5.00 " " " 4.In USSR.........9.00 " " " Please tell me where these extra women should go to find a husband and live a good family life?Should they go for dating and spread evils all around?I think they should migrate to some Muslim countries to find husband and shelters.Then if some wife is sick, should she be divorced so that her husband can marry a healthy wife?Mind you Islam is a realistic and natural religion.It caters for all contingencies and problems.Female infants have more survival rate than males.Polygamy is not a bad thing but is an important social/moral requirement of today's world...........
@eichs1 (1934)
• Philippines
28 Jul 09
It is understandable if you allow your husband to marry another woman. That is acceptable in your religion under certain conditions. I do hope you will also understand if those from other religion disagree because they have other beliefs. As many have already said, Christianity don't allow such practice and most non-Islam countries have laws against any man or woman having more than one wife or husband. But let us try to talk about this without considering our religion or our law. Will you still allow your husband to have another wife? For me, if I have a wife, I want the our life to be shared between us and our kids only. I don't think we can have a complete happy family when there will be other partners and other kids on the background.
@jules67 (2790)
• Philippines
28 Jul 09
I believe that Muslim - Islam religion allows them to marry and have a wife until 5. But that is only allowed one at a time. Meaning they can not have 2 wives at the same time. That is the what I know of their religion. If what I have said is true then it is just fine as long as it is not happening at the same time.
@tomjoad (551)
• Philippines
28 Jul 09
hi treasure. well, in my faith, we are only allowed to marry one woman. that is because we believe that the relationship between the woman and man in marriage is a reflection of our relationship with God. We believe in only one God, so we should only marry one woman. marriage is a sacred vow that you should only make to a single person. it is a lifetime commitment. although i respect your religion but i must say that i don't agree with the concept of polygamy.
@andresimp (818)
• India
28 Jul 09
These inequalities between men and women are created my people and not God. In God's eyes all are equal. so a woman should not be blamed for every sin that a man commits. Every individual is responsible for their own sins. it is against in my religion for a man to marry more than one woman. however in practical life it is not followed. If a man decides that he no longer wants to be with his first wife, and if his wife also thinks the same away, first settle down things or get divorced. because when you cannot be under the same roof without having love for each other. so, i would it is better to marry the women he likes instead of having illegal affairs without his wife's knowledge. that is so cruel for a man to do to his wife. wife is innocent, so how can the society blame his wife for her husband's sin. if my husband dislikes me and wants to marry another women, i will ask him to divorce me and then go. there is no point having a husband with me who hates me. but i will not agree cheating and betrayal. if he fools me, he will get severely from God.
@kprofgames (3025)
• United States
28 Jul 09
I'm learning more and more about the culture there from an online contact of mine. He has explained the multipal marriage. The think that I don't understand is, if the husband's action always get blamed on the wife; when is he taking responsibility for his own actions? I've heard this being said several times - not only here, but from others in the Muslim world. This is what I don't understand. If that man is master of his own house, makes all the dicissions and choices for his family, why is it when he does something wrong (or sinful) that it is the wife's fault? I don't have to understand this, but to me it sounds like no blame will ever be laid at his feet for a bad choice he made. As far as having more than one wife. No. In my culture you can't do that. It is against the law here - outside of religion. It goes against the laws that we live by.
@shimanaja (495)
• Indonesia
28 Jul 09
Hi treasure,..assalamualaikum.. I am a muslim too, but all i know that man only recommended just once marriage, cause..man is just a human being not a prophet. I dont know..but up to each individuals itself what to look for in a marriage.. Have a nice time:)
@selina0625 (1383)
• Philippines
28 Jul 09
Nope, I definitely would not allow my husband to marry or have another woman aside from me. It will hurt so much if he have one. But of course my religion brought me up like that and I do respect that in your religion it is legal and it is allowed.
@sunny68 (1327)
• India
27 Jul 09
i am not a muslim so i don't know much. however i have read that such practice was quite common, but with a noble intent. second marriage was actually meant to extend protection and security to such women who are either widow or economically weak. since such women were very vulnerable in the society this act was considered a noble one. but there were strict conditions, like the consent of first wife and that all his wives would be treated equally. but unfortunately with passing time the intent has been conveniently forgotten and now the purpose is not noble at all. also some societies are very conservative and have a low level of tolerance. i can only wish that your decision will be a wise one. good luck
@EvanHunter (4030)
• United States
27 Jul 09
In my religion no its not allowed, but I can see why it was allowed in yours at that time, for political reason and because there was more woman than men. I would have to wonder if your husband is doing it for the right reasons if it is just to keep from sinning than it pretty much means he is already sinning because he is lusting after someone. I wonder how well versed you are in the Quran? Have you read it for yourself or have you only had someone interpret it for you? Do you know what your rights are as a wife? If not I would encourage you to do so. Personally I don't see having more than one wife as a blessing .... lol.