Why should I get married so soon??!! Don't I have a life??

India
July 31, 2009 11:40pm CST
I mean I am 23 for God's Sake! and I am just beginning my life. Why is everyone at home so stressed abou tmy marriage. I mean its not a medicine that I HAVE to take!! right?? Everyone is so up-and-about my case.! I feel like running away....!! Tell me what to do...plzzzzzzzz!!
2 people like this
23 responses
@OceanLady (136)
• Canada
1 Aug 09
Getting married isn't something you can decide to do because everyone else wants you to... I mean, you can, but it doesn't make you happy. It's something you need to do on your own time, at your own pace. I'm sure your family means well, but they want you to be happy, right? So just tell them that you will get married when you are ready and when you know it will make you happy, and not before... and let them know how you feel about them trying to pressure you constantly. Everyone has to go at their own pace. I just turned 20 and I'm engaged with a baby coming in September... but I know people in their forties who just aren't ready to commit yet, because they've never found the right person. There's no magical age that these things are supposed to happen at, you just have to wait until it seems right.
• India
1 Aug 09
You are so right sweety....thatnx for the support....and congrats for the baby...!!
• Canada
1 Aug 09
Thanks. Glad I could help, good luck^^
• United States
1 Aug 09
Hi anaida, OmG! your in the same boat as I am. What is your background? I mean for me Im indian so usually people know marriage at this age (im 23 as well) for indians is a main question. And, it pops up every single day for me, urghhh!!... my best advice for you is don't think about running away or anything like that could make things worse. My parents are very old fashioned so even if I try to talk to them about me not wanting to get married I would be wasting my time. But, if you have parents that will listen to you try to tell them you will get married just give you a year or two which should ease the questions. Hopefully this helps. Keep us posted :)
• India
3 Aug 09
Hi sweety.... I am indian too.....so we actually ARE IN THE SAME BOAT!! Well mom and dad are kinda accomodating to my views.....its my grandparents that are bing all sentimental..(in a forceful way!!) about it. "We want to see you all settles till we are alive.... It means so much to us...", thats the kind of stuff I hear....day in and day out. Frankly I am losing my patience now..
@Sheepie (3121)
• United States
1 Aug 09
Marriage.. is just, essentially, a piece of paper. If you have a problem relationship, at most the problems might get worse. It's your life. And, supposedly, it is the REST of your life. You're young!
• India
1 Aug 09
well, I don’t think you can escape out of this…at most you can delay it as much as you can. I am sure if they are not forcing upon you a groom, I mean if you have a choice in the selection, you can always reject them for some reason or the other. Even then, you will have to accept their decision sometime soon.
• India
1 Aug 09
I know thats true. But its so hard to keep rejecting people! I am breaking their heart....and self respect for no reason at all. I feel so mean!! But I just can't ruin my life like this!! I am a professional....want to establish myself before I find my man...is that too much to ask for???
@tessl87 (126)
• Singapore
1 Aug 09
are you the only child? perhaps that is why your family is so concern. Try to talk to them? think that is the only way.. Good luck
• India
1 Aug 09
Actually we are two kids....but OFCOURSE..!!! MY brother gets the easy way out!! I am a girl and so....I need to be tied down! BULL***!!
@EliteUser (3971)
• Australia
27 Sep 09
Hey, Don't worry, they also say that to me. And I am slightly younger than you are. My parents are always talking about me getting a job, especially my dad. It is because he earns almost nothing per week, and wants me and my brother to work so he can sit at home for the rest of his life. Make sure you have a good day, God bless and Happy Lotting!!
@chaime (1153)
• Philippines
2 Aug 09
You're still young, enjoy your life. Don't let nobody tell you what to do. Getting married is not a joke, it's easy to get into but never easy to get out of. Don't ever rush into that since you might end up hurting in the end. Just ignore those who pressure you, its all just talk so just ignore them and live your life the way you want to.
@grace118224 (1040)
• China
2 Aug 09
When i graduated from my university i already was 22 . Just as you said , life just begins . i made no worry about my marriage at all. Well i started my job and worked hard . i began to worry about this issue when i turned into 27 at that time i broke up with my first lover . All of my family member were married then . i think you should understand what they think . They do care about you. Now i get married and gave out a baby early this year but sometimes i do think , well is it better for me to marry earlier ?
@angelajoy (1840)
• Philippines
2 Aug 09
People should not pressure you to get married. It's your choice. Only you can say what could make you happy. I'm 25 years and I'm not yet married. And I do have a boyfriend. We want to take things slowly, and no one's pressuring us to get married.
• Malaysia
2 Aug 09
23 is still very young, indeed. for me, i think 30 is the best time to tie the knot. give yourself sometime for life, also to build up your career and financial status before marry.
@OConnell87 (1046)
2 Aug 09
yeah your too young to get married i'm 21 and i don't even think about getting married till i'm 27, its not something i need to do right now so why rush it.
• United States
1 Aug 09
Don't run unless you have enough resources to survive since it's hard out there. Talk to your people and explain that you want to experience life before settling down. That doesn't mean that they'll stop but at least you'll have said your piece. I got married when I was 24, I'm 31 now and while I love my husband and kids sometimes I wonder what could've been if I hadn't married so young. Take the time to figure out who you are and what you want for yourself. Nobody is living your life but you and you shouldn't let people push you into something that you're not ready for cuz then you'll regret it and think negatively on it.
• Malaysia
1 Aug 09
I think everyone is expecting you to bear a child as soon as possible. Marriage is somehow something not to be forced but letting it come naturally as time is right. Marriage is so beautiful and I am sure everyone is excited to be married. But until the right one comes and the age to get married, I will enjoy life as much as I can.After all, when we are married, there are rules and regulation to follow and we can't flirt around anymore too.
@alesippi (62)
• Finland
1 Aug 09
You shouldn't, enjoy your life to the fullest! And if you ain't got even a husband, what you're gonna do !? O_o
• Indonesia
1 Aug 09
I can't tell you what to do. But, if you're a girl that having nothing to do that's just make sense that people at your home concern about your marriage. If you have a carrer, then show to them that you want to make your carrer better first. Still if you have nothing do, then get married soon. Women when they become older will have a hard time to find a couple, well that what I thought.
@erikmama (12934)
• United States
1 Aug 09
dont get married until you are ready. life is long you have plenty opf time. if it is true and meant to be you will still feel the same in 4 years or 10 married or not
@dorannmwin (36692)
• United States
1 Aug 09
I think that they just need to get off of your case. There isn't a reason that you have to get married right now unless you want to. I was 24 when I got married, our daughter was 18 months old. Yes, some members of my family tried to convince us to get married before Kathryn was born, but I felt it was better to wait and see if things were actually going to work out before we got married. You should just tell them that you aren't ready and you will let them know when you are married. My opinion is that you shouldn't get married just to satisfy your family, that would probably just end up in divorce.
• Jamaica
1 Aug 09
I can't really tell you what to do but, I can suggest. Getting married at 23 doesn't mean that your life is over. If you love the person and you both set goals to achieve together it won't be a strain. Communication is the key to marriage not, control and the reason for saying this is because, a lot of people love to control one another in a relationship. I think its nice to know that when we started of we had nothing and we both achieved what we have together. Its a nice feeling. You can be married and still have a life. Your husband has to have the understanding that he is your husband and everybody after that are just friends that are their for support and all. In marriage its just a piece of paper but, in your heart its a long term commitment of love, trust, understand and yes there are times when I want my time alone to enjoy myself and you should both respect that. It can work at any age once you both have an understanding. Hope this helps.
@Zhizho (1352)
• Indonesia
1 Aug 09
Hi anaida1...it's normal time to talk about marriage.I think,you have not to make it problem.It's mean they have big attention to you.Have you imagine that they don't care about you.It was happened to me.I suggest you to try understand,give them explanation about your reason.But I think,it's right time to start thinking about it.Happy mylotting..
@kezabelle (2985)
1 Aug 09
Just leave them be they cant force you to marry someone so dont worry about it, just let them rant on about it and live your life. Every one is different at your age I was settled with a 3 year old and a 1 year old that was what I wanted to be fair i think no matter what path you choose someone somewhere will have something negative to say as long as you are happy that is all that matters xxx