forgetting to bring flowers or c andy to your wife,is that a big deal?
@Hatley (163781)
Garden Grove, California
August 3, 2009 9:38pm CST
I see so many discussions about men not remembering their girl friends or wifes aNiversary or they just dont bring flowers or candy any more. what do you think About this. I personally think that women should not expect guys to think the same way we do, whats important to us is not always that important to them. for example I complained about not ever getting flowers from my sweet husband so the next day he is gone to my moms house, then comes back with a wheelbarrow full of white michelmas daisies in full bloom. I b rought y ou some flowers, and will even plant them for you he said cheerfully aNd I had to la ugh. this waS the biggest bouquet I had ever received from anyone. so ladies, be kind to your guys as they sometimes just dont have a clue. he he.
8 people like this
23 responses
@zoey7879 (3092)
• United States
4 Aug 09
It shouldn't be a big deal. Yes, gifts are nice.. Flowers die. Candies melt away or are eaten. Gold tarnishes. I personally don't like guys, or anyone for that matter, spending money on me for gifts and things that aren't necessary.
@hidden1money1secret (191)
• United States
4 Aug 09
Real gold never tarnishes. Even after being under the sea for 300 years. Guys should try to be nice to the ladies. Ladies should try not to nag the poor men.
3 people like this
@metschica25 (5399)
• United States
4 Aug 09
I just always said something out of the blue and from the heart. It is easy to please us ... but sometimes they all make it seem impossible .. hmm!
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
21 Aug 09
hi everyone I always loved getting the unexpected gift'
that was not on any special as it meant so much more'to me
like the wheelborrow full of white michaelmas daises they'were
so lovely and my hubby planted them for me,it was his'
answer to my saying he never gave me flowers
1 person likes this
@osris61 (107)
• United States
4 Aug 09
Hi, I've been married for 25 years and I don't expect flowers or candy stuff anymore,lol My husband is very good to me everyday of the year and gets me whatever I what as long as we can afford it. I look at it this way, flowers are nice and pretty but they just die in a few days and candy just makes you fat,lol
3 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
21 Aug 09
hello osris yes its so great to be surprised and not always
just get the same old thing. my hubby pretty much knew'what kinds of things I might like and he once in awhile really surprised '
me with something totally unexpected.
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
5 Aug 09
One of my exes started to bring me flowers regularly so it got to have no meaning. He thought he was pleasing me but it wore off, so he couldn't win. Our guys should KNOW what we like...it's really that simple. A night off from cooking, a foot rub, a single flower
. They should KNOW to set the scene and that it's the thoughtfulness that counts and they should put some thought into their gifts and sadly they will mostly just produce the goods and then expect undying gratitude.
2 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
21 Aug 09
mstickle my hubby was a very different kind of man'and hated to be forced to buy what the media said to buy,he wanted his presents'to be unique and one of a kind. tickets to the ballet,or to my favorite'home team ball game, a trip to the woods,or to the beach complete'with a picnic basket fullof goodies.new things, unique things that he
knew that I liked.
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
8 Aug 09
I agree men just don't have a clue hehehehe. I'm now living alone so I guess I won't need to worry about flowers. I like flowers and maybe one day I'll just have to get some for myself. To tell you the truth my husband never did remember my birthday, anniversary and I didn't even get a Christmas wish. He just isn't into romanace. Not at all why we're no longer together, and he does have one very good quality he's the most honest person I have met. At the risk of upsetting someone he will still tell the truth about what he has done. That's why we're not together hehehe.
2 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
21 Aug 09
grandmaof2 I had an aunt like that she never pulled her punches'and'
pretty soon I got sick of her. she always told the truth even if it'hurt your feelings she had no clue.we went to visit her and brough along a large watermelon she cut it but she said oh this is nowhere
'as ripe or good as the one we bought at salingers store. My dad stood there dumbfounded.she was his siste in lAw. men do not have a clue'but my husband was so different he watched and He learned what I really
liked and what I did not like.He knew that I loved opera so he once got tickets to the opera ,once to myfavorite ball game.He bought me new kinds of fuschias for my garden, shrimp scampi because I loved it so.He cooked his own brand of beef stew which I really loved just for me.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
4 Aug 09
hi hatley,
so good to have you back here. You are so very right. I never measure love by those sorts of things anyway. It is how they treat you day to day that really matters. I'm older now tho. I think when I was younger, I was more like that...worrying that he didn't love me if he forgot an important date or something. It's been a long time since those sort of things mattered to me.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
21 Aug 09
hi glad to be back I also when muchyounger expected stuff'every holiday but as I matured I realized that my hubby gave me
things all the time only not on a certain holiday.the'
things were always surprises and things that I wouldnot'buy for
myself but wanted and loved getting.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
21 Aug 09
Kindness, respect and understanding are far more important than candy and flowers. Nothing against candy and flowers though. I think if people care about each other they will make an effort to remember what the other person considers important, but they will also cut each other some slack when they mess up.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
21 Aug 09
dawnald you hit the nail precisely on the head. thats what'
I mean in this discussion. my hubbie was kind and lovingand respected me too but he refused to be told what the media thought he
should buy as gifts. he bougth things he knew i would like'but
would never buy for myself like my favorite cologne or my favorite
bestseller book.He gifted me on all important days but in his
'own way and I loved his way very much.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
21 Aug 09
you are welcome yes I was lucky and I
still miss him all these years too.
@youless (112113)
• Guangzhou, China
5 Aug 09
It is hard to say. Maybe the flowers and candies are not a big deal, but at least they can show how much you care and love your wife. Girls care about the anniversary. If you don't pay attention to it, they will think they are ignored. The next conclusion is that you don't love her any more. So it becomes to be a big deal. So I think it's still better to make your wife happy and you shall remember some important days:)
I love China
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
21 Aug 09
we made each other happy and we didnt have much money'o do it with so we bought gifts for each other that we knew the other person'really liked and it did not have to be candy or flowers'
or evenfine jewels.a ticket to our favorite ball teams game'or a ticket to the opera, or to a circus these were all unusual and'
they pleased both of us.Its not that flowers and c andy arent'nice to g et but for one thing we hate to be pressured into giving something when we would rather give something else just as nice but
more personal.
@metschica25 (5399)
• United States
4 Aug 09
Hey!
I know I am more of the who cares about the dates. Anytime something is out of the blue or from the heart I like that more . Sure it is nice to remember a date , but that dont have to cost you an arm and a leg . I here am still waiting for the rose petals and breakfast in bed .
2 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
21 Aug 09
hi metschica I didnt care so much about the dates as he
liked to gift me when he felt like it, and they were
special gifts that came from the heart and were unique'
and didnt cost a fortune yet something that I really
'liked. oh and breakfast in bed was easyas he was'a cook
by profession
1 person likes this
@cobra1368 (702)
• United States
4 Aug 09
It IS important! It isn't important that he always buy something expensive, or that I always get the same thing (flowers, etc.), but it is important to me that he remember and do SOMETHING special! Birthday isn't as big of a deal to me, but anniversary, come on! I didn't get so much as a card this year, and we've only been married for 3 years!!
I haven't let him forget that, so I doubt he will make that mistake again. 
All I ask for is a little creativity. Show that you care. Make an effort to think about it for more than two seconds and do something really nice and different.
All I ask for is a little creativity. Show that you care. Make an effort to think about it for more than two seconds and do something really nice and different. 2 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
21 Aug 09
hi cobra its important to love and be loved and remembered'but not by force. on holidays my hubby often took me out to eat and that'
was a bigger treat than flowers that wilt or candy that a diabetic
cannot handle. he did love me and he did gift me but in his
own special way and day.of course on our anniversary he alwasys
remembered that and we always went to a very special cafe.
1 person likes this
@x_Jo_x (1040)
•
4 Aug 09
For me, i would only appreciate Flowers or chocolates if the guy put a lot of thought into it. The same with anything he gave me. If it was big and expensive but put no thought into it, i wouldnt appreciate it. If he got me something tiny and didnt put thought into it i wouldnt appreciate it. He could get me anything he liked, if he thought about it i would appreciate it. Same as a nice day out together, or an evening in i would love
2 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
21 Aug 09
hi for me the gifts my husband gave to me on unspecial days'were'
unusual and pretty and came from his heart and from knowing me'
and what I liked and what I did not like.I never got a gift that
didnt please me. they were all special. they were not particulary
'expensive either just things I wanted and loved.
@jaizhi (260)
• Philippines
4 Aug 09
I dont start arguement even if their is no flowers or gift as long as he remembers to great me thats fine with me. A day with me alone (not on a date) is the greatest gift I could receive. I would rather not have me any flowers or gifts if he would give a whole day with me. Anyday of the week would be okay whether on the date it self, later or before. Just have no other interruption.
2 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
21 Aug 09
hi jaizhi sometimes a gift of time alone with the man
you love is more special than any other gift he
could give you. if he takes you out to some place'you
like thats even better.
We would sometimes drive up to the woods and just
spend all day picknicing and talking in and hiking'out
side in the fresh air and piney woods and sunshine.it'was fun.
sometimes we went downto the pacific to spend the day'on the sand.
1 person likes this
@minhminh0604 (342)
• United States
5 Aug 09
It is not a very big deal, but it is gonna make women upset.
Women like small things, so bringing flowers and candies can make her happy all day.
2 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
21 Aug 09
hi not all women think alike to me I would rather have a
plant I could plant in mygarden, or special chocolate'in dark
chocolate that I can enjoy.some women are rather empty headed'and figure that if they do not get their candy and flowers he is a'dolt. but a lot of us realize our husbands work hard to pay all the bills'and we dont want them to jeopardize a bill by spending a
lot on us when its needed just to live.
@KaseyPie (3)
• Canada
4 Aug 09
Not a big deal at all. It is nice once and a while, of course, but it shouldn't cause a fight. Honestly I find it a lot more romantic when a guy brings me candy or flowers on days that aren't special in some way. Otherwise it's like... obligation.
A high maintenance girl might make a fuss over it, but I wouldn't.
2 people like this
@prescindylou (8)
• United States
4 Aug 09
Guys don't realize they aren't being romantic. They feel they show you through the little things they do and don't think you need grand gestures of love.
2 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
21 Aug 09
hi prescindylou romantic is often in the eyes of the
beholder and if my hubby brought me my favorite colgne
on my birthday to me that is romantic . and if he took
took me to my favorite store and boughtme a nightie
All silk and lace that would be ultra romantic.
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
4 Aug 09
well, I think it does make a difference…I have never recd any flowers or candies from my bf/hubby and I know how much I would have loved to get one! We are happily married for more than 12yrs now and it has never been a BIG DEAL but sometimes yes, when I see or saw my friends being inundated with gifts, I always felt a pang of jealousy somewhere inside me…and you know, when I broached the subject with my hubby, what he did was give me money for such occasions from the next time…so that I could go and buy whatever I wanted! I did not know what to say!!!...he said he just cant make up his mind on a suitable girlie gift and then, practically speaking, receiving money is definitely better than a bottle of perfume which ‘stinks’
2 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
21 Aug 09
hello sudiptacallingu wow thats really sort of'neat
because you can have the fun of buying what you'realy
like while a poor hubby is lost and confused. He tried
buying me lingirie and failed completely as bless his'heart he bought for a slim slip of a girl and I was not a slim slip of a girl
but I got to exchange them for the right size and they wer'allsatin and lace and lovely.
@3SnuggleBunnies (16374)
• United States
4 Aug 09
I like to give my hubby a hard time. He used to bring me the silliest junky novelty "i love you" he could find at a gas station and it made my day. Now that we have a family he seems to of forgoten these tolkens. But I from time to time do put lil things in his car for him so the kids do not destroy or even a sweet lil note & where's mine?
2 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
21 Aug 09
I used todo the same thing then I started putting sweet'
little notes in his lunch pail and he brough me back'
some of the most delicious leftovers from a big'affair
in the cafe where he was head cook. The owner was the'one who suggested that as his own wife used to complain he never'rememgbered
the holidays and giving her gifts on them.
@srganesh (6340)
• India
4 Aug 09
I think it is an old idea to return to house always with some presents for the waiting wife.But I don't follow it daily.I bring some sweets or gifts only on return from a business tour.That will be a good separation and to compensate we can afford them such presents to assure them we haven't forget them in the business tension.Cheers!
2 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
21 Aug 09
hi srganesh yes thats so sweet and your wife would'
love those kinds of gifts. my hubbie often brought
me unexpected things he knew I loved. for example'he
helped cater a fancy luncheon for a wealthy business'man
and he brought home some of themost delicious food
from this banquet. steamed oysters,clams, shrimp scampi and scrumptioous desserts.foods I loved but could not'always afford.
@daliaj (5674)
• India
4 Aug 09
Yes, it is a fact that we should not expect candies or flowers from husband, but being a women I keep expecting theese kind of things from my husband and will get really upset if he won't get them for me, I mean on special days. He is not good in remembering days, but he tries his best now a days. :- )
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
21 Aug 09
daliaj hi yes we have been brainwashed by the media
'to want and expect candy and flowers on every holiday'
but what if our hubbies dont have any extra money on'
that particular day wouldnt it be more fun to get'surprise'
gifts on unusual days of the year instead? I got perfume
on groundhog day, a box of caramels on mother in law day
and I wasnt a mother in law, a pound of shrimp scampi
on earth day and so on. it was a lot of fun.
@cbhomework (545)
• Malta
4 Aug 09
It's the thought that counts. I believe that it's important to show love everyday with nice words and support when needed. Then maybe on special occasions get a gift or something that the partner really needs: maybe some time off to do shopping. After all gifting is about giving something that the other will like. In my opinion this applies to men and women.
2 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
21 Aug 09
hi cbhomework yes it is important to show love with'kin
'words and kind deeds. one kind deed I loved til now even'was a cupon for the day off while he fed and bathed the kids,cleaned house
and prepared a wonderful dinner while all I did was lounge'and listen to my favorite tv programs. On special holidays sometimes he'would take me out to our favorite chinese cafe for chinese food.
1 person likes this
@Masssko (238)
• Estonia
4 Aug 09
Indeed it's no a big deal once or twice, or if You never did that before, but if You used to remember impotant dates and bring gifts before, then the change might be quite remarkable and have some unpleasant consequences. So my solution in similar situation was talking and some gentle hints.
2 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
21 Aug 09
I think it alldepends on what you set up and your
life style.we were just working class people and
I learned that it was better to use ourhard earned'money
on the bills and on the food first.my hubby didnt
'like being forced to buy candy or flowers on certain'days
so he would instead buy little surprises for me through out'
the year.
