Do You think it is apropriate to watch the kids doing online?
By anetteh
@anetteh (3590)
Sweden
August 11, 2009 2:24am CST
Lateley there are a lot of discussions about parents keep track on what their teens are doing online. I can keep track on my son, since we share the same IP adress using a router. I want to know what my 18 year old son are doing online, not becouse I am curiouse but to be able to help him if there is any trouble. I need to help him so that he is secure when he is online, and my son is OK with that. He is very carying his computer so therefore he alwasy aske me if it is ok to be on a certain website.
Facebook has been a living room for many even grown ups, and I see my co - workers be online there even at working hours. Facebook has grown over hour lifes. I do have an account but seldom login there, if I do it is only when one of my family members send me something they have for me over there.
Dr Phil had a show the other day about this issue about how important it is for parents to be awear of what teens are doing online since there are so many nasty things as good things.
What do you think, is it appropriate for parents to watch their kids online.
3 people like this
17 responses
@bulzika (279)
• Dominican Republic
11 Aug 09
No I don't think parents should watch their kids, what they do. What about you? Would you like If someone watched you? If you mom controlled what you were doing. It's his private what he does when he's online. Especially 18 years isn't age when he needs someone to control him. I'm 19 and I know exactly what's good for me and what's bad. Don't think about him as a child, he's a man already and he knows what to do
@anetteh (3590)
• Sweden
11 Aug 09
Well, I forgot to tell my son may be 18 but becouse of that he is having disorder of ADHD he is not always now what is the best interest of him...I can understand that you as adult say that I shouldn ot sneak and peak on his doing online, however, as long as he is using MY IP I need to...I do not like to get some unexpected bills for something he has done without my knowledge. I think even you understand that as you say, you are an adult. No affence...just wanted You to know...lol.
@zoey7879 (3092)
• Quincy, Illinois
11 Aug 09
I believe in watching them - as long as they are children. 17 is borderline adult, and 18 is an adult. If you're worried about him getting something billed to you (I'll have to assume that you're using dial up!), there are preventative measures that you can take. You could always make him purchase his own computer and internet service if it is that worrysome. At the age of 18, you can't expect your now grown children to have much respect for you if you are going to eyeball and question everything that they do. You also cannot protect them forever, ADHD or not. He needs to learn to be responsible for his actions and that it IS okay for him to have his own life.. which he can't do with you looming over his shoulder constantly. If you're still worried mom....
1. Don't save the login username and password (for dial up service). Change it so that you have to enter it each and every time
2. Do NOT save any usernames, passwords, debit/credit card numbers, pins, or passwords to your web browser.
3. Most internet providers don't "charge things to your ip" or account, but if your provider somehow has this service, ask if there's a way to password it or simply disable it.
4. If he still manages to charge something to your accounts, doing it without permission IS a crime punishable by law.. You may want to remind him of that and there are problems.. Push it. Sounds harsh, but if you're never going to trust him on his own, he's likely to despise you.. Perhaps do it on purpose just out of frustration.
Good luck.
@anetteh (3590)
• Sweden
12 Aug 09
Thank you for your point of veiw, and for the kinds words and the help. Now, you are not familiare with ADHD I can hear that between the lines. I also have to say, he also have some issue together with ADHD and that is AUTISM, he looks like a normal person when you see him, and people do not see the issues until you start talking to him, and spend some time whith. Now, he has his own laptop and I do not, again I do not stand behind him watching every thing he do online, when he tells me what he is doing then I am OK with it. But, I need to express often what he can do or what he can´t do as long as he is using MY inernet supplier.
@AmbiePam (85984)
• United States
13 Aug 09
I think it is not only appropriate, but necessary. Parents can talk all they want to about "trusting" their teenager and kids, but let's be real. Even the best behaved children can and do get into trouble. Keeping track of what one's child is doing is plain 'ol good parenting. It might annoy teenagers now, but when they are older, they will definitely understand.
@anetteh (3590)
• Sweden
15 Aug 09
Yes, teens think grown ups are nosey but the only thing we want is to make them a safe enviroment. When my daughter was living at home as a teen, she always said why cant you trust me...I always replyed I trust you, but not the enviroment you are in and the people that are surrounded. It took me some time, but she finally understood.
@imsilver (1665)
• Canada
12 Aug 09
My kids are still young (10 & 12). I don't watch while they are actually on-line; but they are both aware that I can track where they've been. I insist on having the password to their emails and facebook until they are 14. I'm hoping by then I've taught them well enough. I don't go into their stuff much. Just once in awhile to remind them that I can. I'm lucky enough to have a couple of really good kids.
@anetteh (3590)
• Sweden
12 Aug 09
Well, responsible parents who do their job like you and me, make god and responsble children. Then it make it easier to monitor them, guid them and have a really god and nice relationship with them. It is easier to discuss and have a nice dialog with them to. 
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
11 Aug 09
I think it's not only appropriate to supervise them but it's a parents responsibility to supervise them. Since parents are usually the ones paying for the internet connection, it's only logical that they should know what is going on the pc's in their home. There are so many sick and twisted ppl on the net that to let kids on here without some kind of supervision is just asking for trouble.
[b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~
**STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS**[/b]
@anetteh (3590)
• Sweden
12 Aug 09
Since parents are usually the ones paying for the internet connection, it's only logical that they should know what is going on the pc's in their homeThat was my point of the discussion really, since I was talking about older kids as my son is of age. Now, I do not watch over his sholder, but I really like to know that he is not on websites that are garging money, or downloding stuff that are no longer OK.
@mermaidivy (15395)
• United States
11 Aug 09
Our computer desk and the desktop are at the first floor in the living room so our parents can easily check up with what we are doing on the internet. Our mom always look at it, I mean just glance at it, not really monitoring what we are doing, my sister and I don't really think it is what bigger of a deal for them to look because we don't do anything bad online. That's what I think only though, people might disagree.
@vandana7 (99119)
• India
11 Aug 09
I agree, though younger generation would not. Agreed the child does need some privacy. But the child needs to understand that there are issues the implications of which he or she does not fully understand. It is just like a 5 year old child does not understand calculus, the 18 year old does not understand what sort of social complications can be there. In both cases, the brain has yet to reach the required maturity level. As the child is growing, the brain takes its own time to grasp things. An 18 year old cannot claim that there will be no further growth in his brain or depth in his thinking. Even people older than that make mistakes in their decisions. So it is wiser to learn in one or two lines from experience of people who have been there and done that, instead of practically wasting a big chunk of life when young. There are ample pedophilic sites, which, even if the 18 year old does not visit, the younger siblings may come across. So it is always advisable to watch where the child is going, rather than cry after it is too late.
@silverglint (2000)
• Philippines
11 Aug 09
It's good that your son is okay with you checking on what site he goes to. I think you might have developed a good relationship with your son for him to be okay with that. Although I believe that we have to do what we can to protect our kids, I don't think a teenager will be very comfortable with the idea of having someone stalking and prying through their private accounts and stuffs. I think it would be better to put a parent control software into his computer so that "bad" sites can be blocked and to monitor him only once in a while. You also have to make sure that your son doesn't get the wrong message that you don't trust him enough to behave even if you don't check on him.
@anetteh (3590)
• Sweden
12 Aug 09
Yes, I have tried to keep a god relationship with both my children. He has a sister who lives by her self. I think it is important to have a god relationship with Your children, so you can have god and nice discussions when hard issues turn up. It is more fun to discuss and listen to each other than have a parent shouting and sounds crazy, that do not make the children listen to what you want and what they should expect.
Now, I do not watch every move he make, he can even tell me what he is going to do online...before he go in...and I have not asked him for it. He do that on his own.
And if anything strange apear, he aks me about it...you see for a couple of weeks ago, he got a messages from msn, and that was not a god mess, and we had to scan for virus...so now he ask me before answering any strange messages he gets.
My son is very carying about his computer...lol
@manleyjoe (1597)
• United States
11 Aug 09
I think that parents should be aware of what their teens are doing and the before teens as well. How can one be a parent if they do not know what is going on so they can guide? I am not saying that we should pry but then we should know what is happening. If the teen gets into a situation where they need our input we should be there for them.
@anetteh (3590)
• Sweden
12 Aug 09
You just said it, how can one be a parent if they do not know what is going on so they can guide. That is so true, a special when the kids are grown ups and in their late teens as my son is. I am not telling what you cant do, but I am giving guidlines they can follow...yes.
@med889 (5941)
•
11 Aug 09
Of course I believe that it is sometimes good to keep a watch on the kids when they are online, I accept as we cannot do it everytime but when we have time we have to atleast know what they are doingon th internet. Nowadays we cannot stop kids doing what they want on the internet as they can always hide or close the wondow directly so from time to time we can have a look on them.
@anetteh (3590)
• Sweden
11 Aug 09
I do not sit and watch my kid when he is online, however, we talk about where, how and what to use the interent for. Mostly my son talks on msn, or play online games or listen to music on youtube....he has had his share of unluck and his computer has been infected with virus and he therefore is very carying...lol. We have our distance but we talk and discuss...lol
@colydf (913)
• China
11 Aug 09
I think maybe parents are very care of their children. They are always afraid that their children will suffer from some hurt. But for me, if I am a child, I do not like others, especially my parents care me too much, and I do not like when I am online others watching.
@anetteh (3590)
• Sweden
12 Aug 09
well, since my son today is of age, and the new ip law in Sweden are really going to be expensive if the young once should do stuff they are not allowed to, like downlod music and movies. Today you can have a lawsuit and be garge millions and I do not like to be lawsuit and garged with that kind of money, since it is my IP he uses...therefore I mist keep and close eye to what he and his friend are doing online behind a closed door, now he is awear of this issu and do no longer downlods stuff...lol.
But there are not just things like this, it is also so much other nasty things going on online and since we are not awere of everything...you need to be awear of their doings.
@pranavpillai93 (267)
• India
11 Aug 09
I think the desktop or lap should be placed in a hall, beside the TV. Then the parents will be able to have a clear Idea of what their kids are doing! And it's still not like you are watching them curiously! Happy mylotting!
well, he has his own laptop and I have my pc. We use the same IP from my internet supplier so I have a pretty god eye, on what he does online. But it was a god advice...though
@lovinangelsinstead21 (36850)
• Pamplona, Spain
22 Aug 09
Hi anetteh,
Yes there should be some control because no one knows who their own kids are relating with online it could be anybody some sick person. Above all the older the Children are its more difficult to be discreet and find out what they are doing. I hardly ever use facebook either. Facebook can be a great thing in the right hands but can be a detriment when not. I would never give all my personal information to a place like that.
Once when I was small I wrote poetry and it got published somewhere and all of a sudden I had this guy ringing me up and pestering me about my poems where could we meet and all that. They were just normal poems kids poems what a creepy person he was. However managed to get rid of him. Nowadays I´d have sent him packing lol.
I think we have to be watchful but not so much on the Internet it could be happening in the circle of friends that they have. Not an easy subject this one.
@jackie_chen (104)
• China
12 Aug 09
Hi,this is Jackie from China.Well,I think it is necessary to watch our children,but it is not necessary to track them at all times.As sometime,they may feel that they are kind of controlled by others once they find you are looking at them.
Well,what I want to say here is,as parent,we should alway play the role as the example the the child any time and any place that available,in this way,they may know what is right and how do to,as they can learn from their parents very easily.
@louren007 (122)
• Philippines
12 Aug 09
Hmmm... It would be better if we watch our kids doing online. In fact, we could guide them which is good or bad. We should not let them do things that might put them to a nasty world. Of course, we could recommend many thing like FACEBOOK, FRIENDSTER or even online games.
In that case, they would find it more exciting and enjoyable...
@dex1007 (556)
• Malaysia
11 Aug 09
I don't know if facebook is very dangerous. as long as the teenager knows certain stuff, like don't give details of their lifes to strangers like where they live and stuff. facebook is a socializing site. its the other sites that can be dangerous. The stuff you can find on internet is amazing. like the other day i stumbled upon a website about these kids who seriously think they are vampires and drink each other's blood. that's just the beginning. there are way worst stuff that i've heard of, devil worship and crap like that is a lot on the net. but there is also some very good stuff. As an 22 year old, i say check out the websites your kids go, not in detail, as in dig out their facebooks and what they do there. but just the website. seems general enough. i know in america especially kids think privacy is a human right, but they are still kids, a parent is the only person who can shape these kids, and if the parents don't do anything, these kids are doomed from the beginning. my parents knew almost everything about me when i was growing up, where i was, with whom, they even knew who my friends were. i think they even had their phone numbers, in case of emergency. at times i got annoyed reporting but it was something we did since young age, so i was used to it. i say go for it.
@apzheng123 (63)
• China
11 Aug 09
There are a number of undesirable web sites and Internet users would endanger the child's physical and mental health,I think the Internet is a follow-up childen useful things,at least not to help the children into errors.
@panjababu (226)
• India
12 Aug 09
Parents should allow their teens for doing something online and should keep track what they do because nowadays there are many adult sites which should not be seen by teenagers and there are hundreds of bad sites which will taught them bad things.So parents must look very carefully what their teens doing online... whats your response... frankly discuss...
