Accepting Another's Child
@LilyoftheThorns (12918)
United States
August 11, 2009 5:08am CST
I was watching CSI and one of the episodes made me think of a good question to bring up here.
Say you are married to someone and you have your own kids, your own life has started and grown. Then say, a child shows up at your door one day, the child of one of your spouses past relationships (they didn't cheat, it was before you)...the other parent who had been caring for the child is dead. Would you be able to accept this child into you family? Would it be easy for you or difficult?
Personally, I would be able to open that child with open arms. In my opinion there shouldn't be any negative feelings towards the childs exsistance because they were not conceived in an affair. I would see them as a piece of my husband, a good piece, that I could love.
But whatever situation your married life had developed into, would you be able to accept someone else's child into your life?
4 people like this
15 responses
@Sunny_132117 (15)
•
11 Aug 09
i think you are right.Many difficulties may be faced by you when you adopting a child without permision your Husband.Before adopting a child, you should take permision from your Husband.
2 people like this
@LilyoftheThorns (12918)
• United States
11 Aug 09
Well you'd have permision from everyone, the government and your husband. I don't think a child could be in your household for to long without going unnoticed :P
But it's your husbands child to begin with, and if he didn't want his own kid that might raise some questions in my mind about him. If I was willing to accept his child and he wasn't.
2 people like this
@Sunny_132117 (15)
•
11 Aug 09
sorry i think you are married. now i seen that comment you are not married. so you don't afraid to the world. you should take desicion that you are not interested in take baby or not. That's your Desicion not society desicion.
Good Luck
1 person likes this
@Sunny_132117 (15)
•
11 Aug 09
Go ahead ! Don't think about society. You are good human being, Courageful & Polite Nature. I think you have no any ristructions.
@smart44 (510)
• Philippines
11 Aug 09
Yes its God given we will goin to accept it. As a matter of fact my youngest child our daughter is our adopted, she became the apple of our eyes, she give joys in our heart. My children are very fond of her. I have 2 kids and they love her very much even my husband love her so much. She gives joy to the family even though she is very hardheaded but she is only 5 years old and we can mold her to be a very good kid. It did not affect our married life instead its gives joy to us.
@LilyoftheThorns (12918)
• United States
11 Aug 09
That'a very good thing of you to do :)
I don't really want my own children, instead I've been thinking that I would adopt a child, maybe two. Not right now mind you, I'm only 20 and I'm single :P But I still think about it. I tell my sister that I would love to adopt a baby girl 1-2 years old and a little boy 5-6 years old. I don't know why...that just always sounds good to me lol. I would LOVE dressing a baby girl up in all the cute little outfits :P And going shopping with the boy for cool sport clothes and automobile clothes :D
2 people like this
@sblossom (2168)
•
12 Aug 09
I think I will accept the child. Because I know the child is innocent, also my husband should take the responsibility to look after the child. I know it will make life difficult. The child will share love and time of his father with me and my child. however if I think positively it means my child will have a half brother or sister, it will be good to my child. Also my husband can keep close relationship with his child it will make him happy.
I know never challenge the relationship between parents and their children. Also when the child really come into my family I think better to take easy and not treat the child specially. In a while nobody will notice the child was from another relationship.
1 person likes this
@DavidReedy (2378)
• United States
12 Aug 09
This is an awesome question. A question that stirs the compassion and humanity in all of us. Of course, I'm not married, and as much as I wish I'd one day meet "her" I suspect I'll never get married... But if it were possible, would I with open arms take in this needy child? Sure, if I could--preferrably with "Her" already their to help me do it, but maybe it would the impetus to get me to change my closed-heartedness... Who knows? Great question, I'd like to think that all that could, would.
Rev. David A. Reedy...
@dreamr802 (985)
• United States
12 Aug 09
I believe that I would be able to take that child into my family. Why wouldn't I, especially if it is my spouse's child from a previous relationship. I would spoil that child rotten and love him/her as if they were my child. And I believe I saw the same episode that you did.
2 people like this
@4mymak (1793)
• Malaysia
12 Aug 09
it all depends on whether if my husband had truthfully told me about his previous relationships.. if i had know all along about his previous relationships and the existence of a child - i wouldnt mind at all.. of course i dont blame the child one bit, but if it was a 'sudden' news, i would still welcome the child - but i would probably stay mad at my husband for quite some time...
2 people like this
@apzheng123 (63)
• China
11 Aug 09
I can accept,because I like kids,but I have limited income,if I have a lot of money,I can accept other people's children to adopt.
1 person likes this
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
11 Aug 09
I really think I could. I don't know that any of us can say for sure until we are faced with the situation. I don't think I would have a problem with it, as it was not the childs fault, no matter what the situation is.
1 person likes this
@Stephanie5 (2946)
• United States
12 Aug 09
I certainly could and have. I'm a mom to 5 and I have 5 step-kids. I love his children and treat them as if they were my own. I love all kids. I would even take in the child if my husband did have an affair. I would be a single parent though, ha ha....Just kidding!
It's not the childs fault. Good discussion!
@sammy14 (834)
• Philippines
17 Aug 09
This is a difficult question to answer.. It is difficult to accept specially if you know of nothing about your spouses past. Definitely there will be complications to speak of. It is quite easy to accept this fact but how about your children... will they accept it and if not what will you do.. Will you accept the child een if it will create problems to your family? I guess the best thing to do is to help that child in some way maybe financially but not to accept it in the family.
@createmoney (209)
• Philippines
12 Aug 09
accepting another child with another parents?
for me i cannot accept that.
because its not my responsibilities.
its other responsibilities.
and for my life now..
100% i cannot accept another child.
@LilyoftheThorns (12918)
• United States
16 Aug 09
So if your spouse wanted to keep their child you'd tell them no or to take it and leave? You may not feel that the child is your responsibility, but it is your spouse's. You wouldn't let them take their own child in?
*Not trying to start a fight :) Just makin convo
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
11 Aug 09
I would be able to accept someone else's child into my life with open arms. It actually wouldn't matter if it was my spouse's child from a previous relationship or if it was the child of one of my prior friends.
When I was 20 years old, one of my friends was having a huge problem in her life and we actually had a notarized note made that if anything was to happen to her that I would end up with her youngest son. It hasn't happened and I don't suppose it ever will, but if it ever did I would accept Jarred as my own son and accept him into our family with the most open of arms.
1 person likes this
@Trinidiva (9)
• Trinidad And Tobago
11 Aug 09
Like you LilyoftheThorns i would welcome that child with open arms. I would not try to replace that child's mother but when you marry someone you become part of another family and that family includes all the children my spouse may have...so i would accept that child.
@snapandsnap (76)
• United States
12 Aug 09
it would be easy fior the parents but for children is as putting a cube in a hole
