MyLot Friend-Choosing Method

United States
August 14, 2009 11:48am CST
We all have many friends here on Mylot, and we are constantly wanting more! Having a good, dynamic group of friends can make earning easier and finding worthwile posts more attainable, as opposed to constantly searching through what could be potential "dud" posts. Now, how I choose my friends.... I am picky, for starters. I do not add people who I have had not any communication with. And once doesn't count in my book! I want the "two-way street" relationship: communication has to be open both ways between my thoughts and theirs. I have had a few people send me requests that have responded many times to my forums, but I still deny them. Why? Because to me, their responses weren't very thorough, and I don't find their topics as something that I would want to respond to. Next-I look at the rating. I am definitely intersted in checking out high rated users because they have proven that they are dedicated to Mylot, and we all know, gaining a good, high rating is hard work and time-consuming. To me, these users are good users, obviously they haven't broken the rules to have to be deleted. To me, that means I can count on these poeople NOT to cost me money. We don't want to participate with people when in the long run, we will end up losing what we earned because THEY were in violation. Does that mean I won't add someone with a low rating? No, it doesn't. I investigate the lower ranked users though. Why are they low-because they just started last week? Or is it because no one ever rates them because they aren't a very "good" Mylotter. I am very leary to add a user that has a low ranking AND no photo though. That may seem odd, but to me, those users potentially could be more damaging. I understand people may not have pictures to upload, but again, their activity and rating can replace the lack of "persoanlity, a name with the face" theory. I live in America, and am very partial to one of my own because we can easily share a lot of common interests. Again that does NOT mean I have closed out others. I have met some great people from dozens of countries, and I am learning that I can be very educated by my friends in other places! I am a proud Mylotter, and feel very privileged to have a community where so many people can come together and learn about each other. Finally, when looking at their pages, I steer clear of people who advertise garbage websites on their profile page. I am not interested in most all of those websites, and I wonder if those users will be the spammers themselves and up getting deleted anyway. So how about you? What lures to add friends? Do you deny anyone? Share your thoughts, because I am sure this could answer a lot of questions for people, especially new users.
3 people like this
8 responses
@mipen2006 (5528)
• Australia
14 Aug 09
Hi again princess, you have made some very interesting points here. My criteria for adding friends is however, vastely different to yours, and maybe needs to be reviewed. First, I will add some newbies, even though they haven't achieved a rating. I only do this if I identify them as someone whose first language isn't English, and they look to me as though they are on myLot to help improve their English skills. I admire them for that. However, if they only post one line discussions and responses, I will remove them from my friend's list. As far as pictures go, I always stuff up there, and as for my profile page, well I wish I knew how to make it better.
• United States
14 Aug 09
That is a very good point that I had genuinely not thought of: Many people may be here to help learn English, and yes, that is commendable to take adavantage of a free resource! Definitely something to be admired.
1 person likes this
@mipen2006 (5528)
• Australia
14 Aug 09
I just look at it as an extension of my eleven years teaching Thais, which while at times was tough, was really enjoyable.
1 person likes this
14 Aug 09
I dont often add many people but if i do add them then i feel that we are on the same "wavelength" and share similar thoughts, discussions, sense of humour etc. Just generally people that i think i would get on with in real life. I do however keep getting a lot of friend requests from people ive never spoken to before and am wondering ... why do you want to add me?
2 people like this
@thea09 (18324)
• Greece
14 Aug 09
Hi, I consider myself picky too and often do a cull. I rarely add a new member simply because I don't know if they are going to have shared interests or not, or have something interesting to say, but if they don't mind being kept pending till they've done enough posts for me to evaluate then that's fine. With others I check profiles, if they do not respond to their own discussions they don't get in, if they respond with a 'thanks for sharing' they are out. Neither of these lead to discussions and proper discussions are the most fun. I need to check more thorougly though because some people only respond to the first page of comments and leave the rest, or only respond to some. I consider this rude and believe every response deserves a response back unless it is personally insulting. I tend to rule out very young men who have completely different interests, and I rule out all friends collectors, those who have literally hundreds of friends but haven't been here very long. Saying that one of the friends I most like to see in a discussion is the most mature 18 year old I've ever come across. I like to include people from different cultures so we can learn from each other.
2 people like this
• Philippines
14 Aug 09
I understand, who wouldn't be so picky now a days, most specially with the trolls and cheaters who had come here and been taken out..am sure some are still here somewhere. I can be picky too some times, even with the newbies and those who have lesser post. i just wait for them to be more active in the days to come..well, i do deny sometimes and most i let them stuck in the pending list.. hmmmm..that reminds me, didn't i add you a couple of days, ago.. well,anyways, have a great day princess
• United States
14 Aug 09
Well, it does seem that you can't tell who is going to be worth your time, unless you see the proof that they are an established member. It seems dreadfully discriminating, and there are loopholes for everything. I know one of my biggest concrerns is losing out on my hard work because I am participating in "spoof" discussions.
• Philippines
14 Aug 09
so, what's your idea of a serious discussion?, then? we could brainstorm for topics that you prefer talking about. because for all i know, those who are somewhat making "spoof" discussions are the ones they are just thinking about...for the moment. I, too once missed those good old great and very intellectual discussions.. i tried to find them too, but most are..just..gone..now.. Besides, there's a short saying...just
1 person likes this
• Philippines
14 Aug 09
"Have Fun"
1 person likes this
@mzz663 (2775)
• United States
14 Aug 09
My standards on mylot are alot like yours. I add friends when I see that they have answered or posted something that interests me and is easy to understand. Once in awhile I'll read something and it makes no sense and I can't possibly come up with any kind of answer or comment. What I like to do on here when I first log on is to go to 'friends started' under discussions because I know the friends on my list have some quality discussions. What I don't like doing is going and looking for discussions, reading something by someone and either not answering or quit reading in the middle. Before I send a friends request, I usually read something the person had asked or answered. I don't want to follow them around and go to all the discussions they've answered or answer all of their posts because I don't want to feel like a stalker.
1 person likes this
@Stephanie5 (2947)
• United States
15 Aug 09
I am much the same as you. I love making new friends! I love to help people too. I also want people that I can connect with and share interests with. I usually don't deny a friends request unless I see that they have 'spammed' or are just out to make the quick buck and not just being friends with you for a referral or something like that. I've met some awesome people here on myLot and look forward to meeting many more!
• United States
22 Sep 09
This is a fantastic place to meet people and learn about anything you can imagine! And what's nice, is it's actually on personal levels, as opposed to just reading articles online or what not. I don't add people unless I have actively seen their work though for one point you did mention:spam. The more "bad" friends you choose here on Mylot, the more risk you take to having your earnings depleted. As I understand, if you respond to "bad" conversation or to "bad" members topics, and they get caught and removed, you lose those earnings with them. Not cool, but hey, we become more selective with who we choose to talk to!
@gobama (55)
• Philippines
15 Aug 09
What lures to add friends a photo with a smile like yours , wish the day comes that i can say i too am a proud mylotter
• United States
15 Aug 09
Thank you, that was sweet. I can speak on behalf of many mylotters that it is great fun in here and we all can work together to improve everything for each other! Work towards posting quailty responses and topics, and be creative when making your own. Read the guidelines thoroughly so you don't ever post in violation-they can be reported and deleted and which can be costly to both you and anyone who responds to your discussions. Many user are more than happy to help you if you have any questions or concerns. Good luck to ya!
@cyrus123 (6383)
• United States
15 Aug 09
Hi princess07031980! So far, I haven't denied anybody. I deleted a few last night because I hadn't heard from them in a long time. It was very few, though. I just needed to do a little housecleaning, that's all. I mainly try to add people who have the same interests I do and who post good discussions. If I like the comments they give, I might add them for this reason. Although I haven't met anybody on here, if I think they seem like nice people, I might add them. Kathy.