If you knew you'd end up alone, would you have loved anyway?

@laydee (12814)
Philippines
August 19, 2009 8:56am CST
I think all of us would rather be with someone than to live this life alone, but there are really those people who are destined to be alone or to grow old alone (it doesn't mean they're not happy, but I they're happier not having 'someone' as their partner). My question is, with all the heartaches and relationships in the past. Would you have gone through all those had you known you'd end up growing old alone? or would you have rather focused more in the past to living a better life without worrying about relationships?
4 people like this
23 responses
@cindyhxf (1447)
• China
19 Aug 09
everyone is afraid of alone feeling no matter when she gets old or is young.people shouldn't stop looking for love even when they got hurt from love.do you hear "love is waiting again and again",remember don't stop your step
2 people like this
• United States
19 Aug 09
The thing is, living a good life includes sharing it with people and learning from the experiences of loving and losing and interacting with people. So yes, if I knew right now that my boyfriend and I were going to break up in a few years and then I would grow old without finding anyone else to spend my elderly years with, I would still love him and I would still go through everything we've gone through and will go through in the future. And I would say the same for my previous relationships. If I have somehow known that my last boyfriend was going to break up with me after almost four years I still would have stayed with him and learned what I did from him and loved him.
1 person likes this
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
20 Aug 09
Oh, that's tough, breaking up after almost four years. But still, you'd still would have wanted it that way? Don't you think you could do better with someone who wouldn't just let you go at the first sign of trouble or something?
• United States
20 Aug 09
I have a general viewpoint of not regretting anything that's happened in my life because every experience has made me the person I am and I'm happy with who I am. If I were able to go back and change how things happened with that relationship, it would also change my current relationship because I doubt I would have found the person I'm currently with if things had gone differently with my ex. I could go into detail, but I don't really feel like it. The point is, no matter how painful the various experiences in our pasts are, they were necessary to make us who we currently are and even if we don't like who we are now we shouldn't wish to change those experiences, but rather examine them more closely and learn from them before moving forward to change the things about ourselves which we don't like. That is why I wouldn't change anything, despite any pain or trouble or heartache that happened.
@meandmy3 (2228)
• United States
19 Aug 09
Yes I would. I have been divorced and have since gotten married again. I would marry my first husband all over again. He was my first love, we shared so much together and he is a very big part of who I am today.
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
20 Aug 09
Oh would you have wished then that you never have gotten divorced with him?
@meandmy3 (2228)
• United States
20 Aug 09
No I do not, if it had not been for the divorce I would have never moved to Chicago I would have not had my kids. I may have had kids but they would not be the same.
• Brazil
24 Aug 09
I thought I was one of those persons, destined to grow alone. I don't have brothers, and not a lot of good real friends, but then I got a girlfriend, whom was one of my best friends. At first I tought this wouldn't go anywhere, that we wouldn't really work as a couple and all, but then recently we've been getting more and more close, and making love is amazing, and I now I know I couldn't be really happy alone. This human, emotional connection we have is really strong and means too much to me. Not so sure about getting married, though, 'cause I'm afraid it may spoil the romance. By the way, today marks our two years anniversary.
1 person likes this
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
15 Sep 12
Oh I do hope you're still together with your girlfriend. It's been 4years since this discussion was started and I do hope that you still feel the love - perhaps even got married? Kids perhaps? hehe.. I think there are times when we find it hopeless to find someone, but when we do, we realize that the wait was worth it! I do hope that everyone could find their match. It's happier to live life with someone who loves you and you love back. Thanks for the response, have a great mylot experience ahead!
@Citychic (4078)
• United States
19 Aug 09
Ending up alone.......... Well I'm happy that I had my relationships. Most of them turned out okay and there was only a little tiny bit of bloodshed between me and one of my ex's. But Over all I'm happy that I had the experiences. Now looking back I wished that I would have focused more on my own life, rather than giving so much of it away. I probably would have succeeded at having a great career by now but I'm still here. Helping other people to perfect their lives as I am a mother. I make a difference in the lives of my childrenl, so most likely it's what I was meant to do. I can always focus on myself once they are grown and gone, happy mylot!
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
20 Aug 09
Well, at least you couldn't say you tried to eat the apple too..
@Care4Pets (179)
• United States
19 Aug 09
When my ex-boyfriend and I first split, I was totally devasted, but over time that feeling has gone away. In hindsight, I would not change a single minute. He was my first love, my first everything...we talked about getting married, kids...I thought he was "the one". Even though we parted, I realized that each moment taught me important lessons about love, life, passion, what I do and do not want from a relationship, anger, forgiveness, and more. Relationships come and go from our lives for a variety of reasons. Whether it's a romantic interest or just a friend, I believe we learn something from each and every person.
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
20 Aug 09
Nicely said. I guess it's true about the song, that the broken hearts are the path that leads you to the 'one'. I guess these experiences of hurt are there to help you appreciate the one for you.
• Philippines
22 Aug 09
As believed by everyone, love is the most beautiful feeling one could ever feel. It is a wondrous feeling that exempts no one. In short, everyone should (really) undergo this feeling. (In my part), i will not hesitate to love someone even if i know that in the end, ill end up alone. You don't have to be afraid to risk your own feelings as long as you are ready to face all those consequences. At least when you grow old and when someone asks you (perhaps your grandchildren) how it feels to love someone and be loved in return, you will be able to answer their questions through your experiences...you will be able to share with them the things you have learned when you were in the stage of being in love. Consider this beautiful quote (actually this is one of my favorite quotes): "The person who risk nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing and becomes nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn and feel and change and grow and love and live." As what Leo F. Buscaglia said, "Risk must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing." Do not be afraid to risk. Love someone and tell them you love them even if in the end you'll end up alone. At least, you tried.^_^ -angie-
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Aug 09
I'd rather live life with a partner.
1 person likes this
@jenzai (390)
• Philippines
21 Aug 09
I like your query, i never been into a relationship, so this makes me wonder with your question, i think i would choose to love,although i have not experience it yet but i have seen it from my family and friends that love is such a combination of sweetness and bitterness, so i would never fail to love even if it would not be a success..and it takes two to tango..
1 person likes this
@Theresaaiza (10484)
• Australia
21 Aug 09
Better to love, and get hurt than to never have loved at all. That's all I can say.
1 person likes this
@aerous (13474)
• Philippines
21 Aug 09
I don't think if living is alone is good for me. But we don't deny that there are people wanting to be alone. In my opinion is that make better life without worrying relationship. Since the past is past and don't know if the past will became the future...have a great day!
@quinnkl (1668)
• United States
20 Aug 09
I think the old saying that it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all is really true for most people. There are some people I think who are better off staying and being alone and most of them know it. So good for them. I have been in relationships and got married when I didn't want to marry and divorced (of course), and am very happy being "alone" now. But I would not have given up the experiences of any of the relationships I have had in the past because there were always great times as well as bad through it all.
1 person likes this
• India
20 Aug 09
Having gone through a heartbreak i thought i would never love again but i did and a break up is underway AGAIN and yet i feel its better to love and be loved than being lonely..
1 person likes this
@khrackow (23)
• United States
19 Aug 09
I've been married, once, I've had my fair share of relationships, good ones and not so good ones and a couple of really terrible ones; but, all in all, I have no regrets; I have learned from each and every one of them. Currently I am unattached and I am loving it, loving it, loving it. I have no desire for another "romantic" relationship, not that I am not open to the possibility of one in the future, I'm just not looking for one. I have wonderful friends and plenty to do. In fact, I love being free, nobody to nag at me or complain or answer to. With the right woman I would do it again. squidoo.com/PsychologicalOdessey
1 person likes this
@tintukm (1084)
• India
19 Aug 09
since life doesn't call one live with itself,its we who have to live with our lives.I would suggest one must be as much sincere to another individual to earn his good will that would surely make a person deal with the upcoming relationships in a finer way.If a relation breaks give a word to that person who one breaks with and continue as usual if you find another relationship,but giving a chance to the previous person is as much important.
@lordz00 (20)
19 Aug 09
the best way to live life and the best you can ever experience in life is love. without love you don't live, you only exist. so how can you say you are living a better life when you have never loved anyone but yourself? i have always wanted to love someone with all i am and with all i have, and to me that would be the most succesful thing ill ever do, i doesnt mean ending up alone would bring you misery in life. being with someone whom you dont love is much worst than being alone, knowing you have been happy before. i wouldnt take that chance to pass. you'll only live once make the most out of it.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
19 Aug 09
Love is a beautiful thing in this world. And there are many ways of showing love.. And the meaning of love.. If I knew that I'll be alone, I think I'd still like to be loved and be loved.. I always believe that everything happens for a reason, and if I'd end up by myself without someone, I think I have to accept that, and yet I still have my family and friends who I'm sure that I'll be loved more than anything else.. There's so much in this world and even you're alone without someone special, you can make your life a blessed one..
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56484)
• Delhi, India
19 Aug 09
Hi laydee! I believe that every day brings us new experience in our life. Therefore, I cannot claim that I would not gone into a relationship, knowing that at last I may be left alone. If I am left alone and my relationship gets broken, I would like to introspect to see, was there something wrong on my part, because I believe that it takes two hands to clap.
1 person likes this
@MLeula (29)
• Philippines
20 Aug 09
I would not regret loving or any experience I had in life. Each phase of life we've been through teaches us something. Even if our past relationship had gone sour, we still learn from it. But one thing for me, I don't want to rekindle my past relationship. Let it remain as a learning experience. I'd move on and make the most out of my new life.
@sblossom (2170)
20 Aug 09
Before we start a relationship we can not know what will happen in next. So why not enjoy today and let tomorrow coming when it comes. So my answer is I will go on with the relationship even I can know it will be over later.At least when the relationship going on I enjoyed my life and I have nothing to regret then.