I just give up....

United States
August 21, 2009 11:09am CST
Many of you know about the hard times my family has been going threw. I know many out there are struggling too. Well I have given up. Yet again my husband gets a check and they take over half for child support and insurance,an insurance that I am not even covered on because his company made a mistake. We don't even have enough money to pay bills. My utility is still not paid and I can get no where with the state for help,not even a denial so I can go elsewhere. I call around to get some teeth pulled because I have been sick and in pain and they tell me oh your dental(different company so I DO have that) only pays half so you will have to pay $538 for relief and to not die from the infection! My daughter had yet another seizure 3 nights ago and it was 14 minutes long,so my Fear and anxiety is even higher than normal. I have no one to help me and I don't want to unload everything on my husband because he feels defeated too. He works his butt off and we have nothing but bills,unpaid loans to friends the ones that would help,and sadness. He tries really hard and so do I and we still get no where. I have prayed til I couldn't breathe,I have tried quoting things over and over and still nothing. I just give up.........Why why why......
4 people like this
10 responses
@olydove (1209)
• United States
21 Aug 09
Hun don't give up. Things are overwhelming right now and that I do understand but you can get through this. I think the first and most important thing you need to do is even though you don't have medical get your but to the emergency room and tell them you need your anxiety meds. Without that you just can't think clearly and get things better. They won't deny you treatment because of not having insurance, and they can get you your medicine. The next thing to do is get yourself an attorney about the child support. Are there any legal aid places in your area that provide help for low income families? The next thing is to see if the dentist will take a payment plan for that $538. If they will then you can get the teeth taken care of and maybe pay $20 a month, now I know you don't have the $20 but if you can get them to take the teeth out on a payment plan we can find a way to get the $20 a month. You need to stop and just breath for a bit.. you need to write down everything that needs to be done and figure out what's top on the list and handle things one thing at a time. I truly think the first and most important thing is to get the anxiety medicine. Things can and will get worked out you just need to breath and I will help you as much as I can from here. I can do some research to try and find an attorney for the support and a dental office that will help you ok so just relax and we'll get through this. Always remember you're not alone, you have lots of friends that love you and care about you.
3 people like this
• United States
21 Aug 09
Thank you hun and I know you are always around,I just ahte having to ahve other people rescue me all the time. I feel worthless and just a wreck. I spoke to one office who says they will take $160 up front and I am waiting to hear about a appointment,thing is I don't have the $160 but I guess I will cross that bridge when I come to it. I already owe all the hospitals around here thousands of dollars as it is,so i will just continue with my issues like always and my pain.
2 people like this
@leenie50 (3992)
• United States
21 Aug 09
Angie, Oly is right. One step at a time. I have been going through difficult financial and medical problems my whole adult life. Each time I come out of one struggle, I thank God because life was so much better than before. You become a stronger woman and know more about what life is all about. My hubby has been out of work for over 2 years. He has been so low and beaten, I truly thought he might end it. For a year after I had to quit my job in March of 2007 I finally received my disability. Till then he received unemployment off and on. What I'm trying to say is, things went from bad to worse and everything I tried, failed. I gave up on me and on God. Through all my struggles in life, I had never given up on God. Then my 28 year old Son reminded me of all the struggles I went through and how strong I was, and that is how I picked myself up and started looking for answers and help again. Things started getting better but hubby still has no job. I think you need to go either to the ER like Oly suggested or see if there is a clinic in town. Then you need to go online to prescription assistant programs and there are many to look into. Also, look up Social Services and give them a call. There is probably a Local Legal services where you can get a lawyer for whatever you need. With a child the Department of Children and Families should also help with your daughters medical. Don't be afraid of checking into food stamps. This can be done online. Also ask Social Services about help with your utilities. The way I found a lot of these things is by googling questions like, Where do I find help to pay my utilities. Or Local Clinics. Just keep googling those questions and you will be amazed at the answers you get. As Oly said, you need your anxiety meds. Don't wait one more minute. Your family needs you. I am also here if you need me, anytime. Big Hugsssssss to you and your family. Leenie
• United States
21 Aug 09
leenie I am sorry you have been and are going threw hard times too. I am still waiting as of JUNE 23 when I turned in my paperwork for emergancy shut off help for some kind of anwser from social servies and HAVE GOTTEN NOTHING. I just give up everytime I try something it fails and it continues to do that,yet again I still ahve not heard about getting my teeth pulled so I have to go intil looks like next week maybe even longer in pain again. I am tired of living in pain everyday
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84147)
• Shingle Springs, California
21 Aug 09
Don't know what to tell you except hang in there, don't give up. My prayers are with you. Hugs...
• United States
21 Aug 09
Thnaks Dawn but not sure I ahve anything left to hang onto.
2 people like this
• United States
21 Aug 09
Thanks Rob hun but since I don't have my emds that is easier to tell someoen else to do then myself. Thanks though for being there if I need ya.
• United States
23 Aug 09
Well I really shouldn't say that, I know I really shouldn't say that but I have too. Reading your story it looks like you are punished for doing the right thing. Sorry I should not pass judgment on others but it looks to me that if you are not married to your husband you would get more help from the State and Government. You have no idea how many couples I have seen who just don't get married because if they would get married they would lose many of the benefits the State and Government provides, which in return upsets me because people like you who really need to just get a break for a short period of time can't get any help. I'm sure you have tried everything but maybe if you go back to the State with all your unpaid bills maybe they will help because you have a child. Good Luck
• United States
23 Aug 09
Thats my problem..I went to the state and have heard nothing. Next Friday they are cutting off my gas and electric then I will be homeless because I can not stay somewhere without those basic needs. I will lose what little food I do have and I am so lost. I am planing to go to the state office on Thrusday that is my last hope.
• United States
23 Aug 09
First I would go Monday if possible and not wait till Thursday, that's just me but maybe Thursday is better because you know how they work. Also I'm sure you have check everything there is, this is what I found but I'm not sure if it helps. It says they help you pay utilities if you owe more then $300.00 and met other requirements, income, children, etc. http://theinfocenter.info/pubs/eg/5c.pdf
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Aug 09
I have no choice about going thursday as I have no car,I have to get a denial first before I can use the THAW thing threw DTE this is what the problem is,my worker at the state won't answer my phone calls for me to even get a denial or anything else.
@Jathop3 (42)
• United States
22 Aug 09
You have my sincere condolences. If you feel like you have nothing to hang on to, hang onto yourself.As harsh as it sound, humans are strong, YOU can do it, believe in you more than anything. Often at times, it feels like you'll be crushed by the hardship of life. But that's life, it's not suppose to be easy. Accept theat fact, don't stop hoping. At one point, it'll change. Things will get better. It might not seems possible right now, but it will. I've been in the dark alley before and the future seems so bleak, almost end my life, but hey, here I am. Living, and actually quite enjoying it despite the endless struggle. You are not me, and from the look of things, you have it harder than me. Way harder. But I think, you are strong, you've done so far to get this far. I can't really give you any advices on the best way to handle your current situation, but if you feel the need to unload, here in mylot, there'd be a lot of people willing to listen. It's okay to take a rest sometimes. If you find it hard to pray, I'll pray for you. :)
• United States
22 Aug 09
Thank you very much. Your words and the words on my friends here have brought me much comfort. I am still sad and upset but I know someday it will be ok,I just hope that is sooner rather than later
• United States
22 Aug 09
I hope so too. For yours, and your family sake.
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48716)
• United Kingdom
21 Aug 09
Sweetheart I am so sorry to read this and believe me I have been there many a time and could never see the light I worked and worked, I had no choice but my Ex Husband loved his Social Life so much no matter how much I worked it would not stretch, he was in the Army and we should not have been in that situation When the Children where little I would work at Night, or I would do cleaning for 4 hours a Day When they where at School and at the age where I could work full time, I started working full time, when I would get home the time was for my Children, then I would tidy up and all the time the Ex was out or snoring on the Settee even though by this time he was out of the Army and worked in an easy Job 9-5 , where I could be on the road from 6am to 8-9pm But I got through it, now being Disability, it is not much easier but at least now I am able to pay Bills I think that you need to get some legal advise on all of this specially the Child support as he should not be left that short Do you have Legal Aid over there as they should be able to help you I do hope that the little one is ok , I know she has those Fits and it hurts me to hear that she has the Fits You are in my thought Sweet
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48716)
• United Kingdom
22 Aug 09
Sweet I know you are not able to work as I would not have worked either if I had an ill Child so please do not think this is what I was trying to say as I wasn't I know your Circumstances I just wish you could get some help there from somewhere Big Hugs to you
1 person likes this
@sugarlen (138)
• Philippines
27 Aug 09
When you have fallen down to the lowest level there is no place elsewhere to go but to go up. Be strong and have faith in God. You are not the only person who experienced that situation. Look at the birds and the flowers - how do they live and grow?
• United States
27 Aug 09
Thank you for putting things into a new light for me. I am doing the best I can right now with what I have.
@Hatley (164654)
• Garden Grove, California
24 Aug 09
hi babyangie i am so sorry for what you are going through and want you to know you are not alone.this horrible' economy is just crushing us. it broke upmytin family, my son and I,he lost his job,thenwe went broke,we were'evicted,no home,so he put me in this retirement center and asked for help; for himself he is in govpaid housing so he can look for a job, get paid and get us back together, none of this is want we wanted. its beenalmost a year, At least your husband still has a job,thats one 'good thing.can your church lend you a hand in all your troubles,is there any agency that could see you get medicAl and your daughter she has to have care,there has to be someone who can help you in your town or city you are in the US arent you.can your parents help?I wish to God I had any money as I would sure send it to you I canpray and maybe it will help. do you have legal help that will give you free counseling maybe your husband is being illegally chArget too much for child support?
1 person likes this
@ladym33 (11008)
• United States
22 Aug 09
I am so sorry to hear this, and I am hearing it more and more from people as things get worse and worse for everyone. I hope things turn around for you and get better, I know it is difficult but keep the faith, have tried seeing if you could go to a dental clinic where the services are free or really discounted? I know they have those in Chicago. I don't know how to go about finding out about such things but I do know they exist. Keep your head up, don't give up and continue to look for solutions. I know it is hard and I wish you all the best and hope things get better for you.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Aug 09
Yes I called the dental clinic and they only take new patients two times a year,and that won't be again til October so I have to try back then or hope I can get in at the dental school.
• United States
22 Aug 09
Oh sweetie....dont give up.....you are being tested.....the greatest of saints lived the hardest of lives.......I KNOW exactly how you feel....I really do...I am going to send you a long email a little later....but for right now remember how much your family needs you and dont give up just yet....You NEED to do something that makes you laugh!! It doesnt have to eb something that costs anything but find something to do that makes you laugh...trust me..... I'll be sending you an email later on today!
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Aug 09
Thanks hun,I am trying to find anything to make me laugh. I am off soon to go to the dentists again so they can look at my teeth,maybe by some miracle they know someone who will do it for cheap or something as I have contacted all the local services I can with no luck.
@besthope44 (12145)
• India
6 Oct 10
Well depression is common in this busy world..though its bitter fact. So dont take it emotional to heart and try to come out of the past. Please dont give up confidence. Do yoga, you will feel a great heal and confidence. God bless you friend! Things will be better soon, dont give up.