How do you forgive those who have hurt you?

India
August 24, 2009 2:52pm CST
Forgiveness means you have forgotten the hurt in your heart; otherwise, the hurt will concentrate in your heart and hurt you more. When you want to forgive, you will find trouble putting it out of mind. the more you persuade yourself, the more difficult you find it to forgive. Have you ever forgiven others or being gorgiven by others? Have you got the experience that you haven't recovered with someone but you have forgiven him or her in the heart? Talk about how you have forgiven the one who hurt you?
3 people like this
30 responses
@kitty42 (3912)
• United States
24 Aug 09
Hi amar_sandy1987 This is tough, do we really forgive those that hurt us, I don't think so, you know how people say I forgive you but I can't forget, then you are not really forgiving. I think in order to truly forgive someone you must let go and move on,never to be discussed again. this is something that is not easy to do. I guess it all depends on the situation, in order for me to truly forgive I will also have to forget you, so I will forgive/forget you. not sure if this makes sense, this is really hard, how can you forgive someone that hurt you, I mean really hurt you. I look forward to reading the responses to this myself. I know you wanted examples but I had to add my little 2cent .
1 person likes this
• India
24 Aug 09
you are rite but they should be givven 1 more chance to do every thing ok n fine again
@kitty42 (3912)
• United States
24 Aug 09
hI, I know for me its really hard, I guess it all depends in the situation. ,lke I said this is tough, this is why I don't hurt people, I don't like when someone hurts me.
1 person likes this
• India
25 Aug 09
its ok but we should try to be cool and try to adjust ourself in this world!!! as i do!!!
@janebeth (2034)
• Philippines
25 Aug 09
GOD had forgiven us from all our sins, and why can't i? Of course i will accept his/her deep sincerity for saying sorry for me.. Every people deserves one more chance.. So why don't try it??
1 person likes this
• India
25 Aug 09
thanks a lot for your response !!
• India
19 Feb 11
hey bigjim59 i agree with you also but i am talking about a good loveable relationship who fights and hurt it to their heart by ignoring !! whis he or she wants to breakup and dont want to continue and the another person he or she loves with his full heart what he or she will do?
@tintukm (1084)
• India
24 Aug 09
Forgiveness have no replacements in this entire globe none gets more relieved after the other person says 'I have forgiven you for what you have done' this relief would not be gained if the person whom the other person has hurt in any way says I can't forgive you for your deed.This hurts more than anything. If in my case if I had to forgive anyone for his ill treatment to me ,would be after my checking again on the person, how he was ,what he did, why he did, and would mostly forgive him saying 'what you did I didn't expect ,I was not hoping this,something of a statement that should make him/her feel guilty of the way he had behaved or hurt you.
1 person likes this
• India
25 Aug 09
thanks a lot for your response !!
@tintukm (1084)
• India
26 Aug 09
The best medicine in life has been the character of a person to all related to anyone for curing anyone's troubles.Forgiving must come in between problems because it is the best medicine.Happy lotting.
• India
22 Jan 10
yup you are right
@tonyllenium (6266)
• Italy
24 Aug 09
In reality i think it depends of the different situations and so what kind of things provoked this...surely i think that for important things it seldom i can forgive such as normally i can also forgive but i really loose trust in that people and so tend to not consider her/him for all the time!!As regards mistakes or other things i forgot somebody but surely i think it is not so complete..because if somebody will do it just 1 time and you always forgive you will risk that this person will do it again and in many cass take this behaviour not as a special thing but because you have a weak character so it is complicated in many cases...
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Aug 09
I agree with you. Once if I got hurt by that particular person. I might not be able to easily forget that situation. I might as well take our friendship in discretion. I might be cautious, and not fully trust that friend of mine too.
1 person likes this
• India
24 Aug 09
i agree it but i would use to do the same but its no of use because we need to live with all the people in this world whomsoever it is enemy or friemd or anyone else but we have to live with them and enjoy your life
@amirev777 (2552)
• India
17 Feb 11
Hi thats really a difficult question to answer. Forgiving someone who has hurt you badly is not an easy thing to do. But you are right, if you dont forgive and keep the grudge in your heart, it can really precipitate inside your heart and cause you more harm. To be frank I am not a person who forgives very easily. I am still not on talking terms with few of my friends who back-stabbed me.
1 person likes this
• India
19 Feb 11
hey but we should forgive that person because god gives manny chance to forgive your mistakes then why cant we ? we are only a human beings!
@EliteUser (3971)
• Australia
22 Sep 09
Hey, Well it all depends on what the person has done in order to hurt you. If they have physically hurt me, then it will be much harder to actually forgive them. But if they have only hurt me mentally through words, it is no problem. Make sure you have a good day, God bless and Happy Lotting!!
1 person likes this
• India
12 Feb 11
can you explain it in more details i mean to say physically and mentaly !! can you give some more explination and any example?
• India
25 Aug 09
For me i will give a chance to proof that person that he had done a mistake. but honestly, it is really difficult to forgive some one. in my own opinion it is really a case to case basic and it will depends on how depth when somebody ask forgiveness there are a lot area to think the best way is to talk with him and resolve the problem....
1 person likes this
• India
19 Feb 11
hmm i agree with you!!
@coolcat123 (4392)
• India
25 Aug 09
i forget them by dumping them out of my my life and from my mind for ever. forgiveness is a very big word and a very kind deed to do but i am very dipressed when someone does that to me. i can never forget the hurts which i have got from the life and i have become so tough like a stone that i cant forget people who hurt even others.
1 person likes this
• India
19 Feb 11
but if we have some good relations then we cannot dump out of our life the what will you do in that case?
• China
25 Aug 09
Yes ,as you said "the more you persuade yourself,the more difficult you find it to forgive",I can't agree more.So i choose to ignore it.I Wii occupy myself into other things.As time goes by,everything would be forgotten.
1 person likes this
• India
19 Feb 11
god forgive everyone so why cant we?
• Philippines
25 Aug 09
Many people have hurt me emotionally but i have forgiven them and really forget about it because true forgiveness means forgeting the mistakes and hurt they have caused you. Its a very hard feelings to have hatred in your hearts thats why despite how hurtful they cause me, i still try to forgive them even if they dont ask for it, try it, its also good for the heart. be happy always!
1 person likes this
• India
19 Feb 11
very very true!
@wlyatshu (18)
• China
25 Aug 09
Forgivness needs courage to hold the hurt that other cause to you and the space for you to leave with each other so you can carefully think the question "does such kind of friend worth my loyal friendship ever again".
1 person likes this
• India
22 Jan 10
hey best friends are a good friends god made friends so if they fight for a period so nothing mean to it so please dont break your friendship just trust on god god is with you always kk
@louren007 (122)
• Philippines
25 Aug 09
Of course, to forgive it to forget. But honestly, it is really difficult to forgive somebody. In my own opinion, it is really a case-to-case basis. It depends on how depth when somebody ask forgiveness. A lot of criteria that you need to consider. Maybe, I could forgive somebody by simply talking with me in personal and discuss things seriously and explain how does he commit that one until I am satisfied then that's the time I will forgive him...
1 person likes this
• India
19 Feb 11
but will you forgive him after telling all past mistakes or you will leave it as it is and move forward with someone else!
• Australia
25 Aug 09
I don't think when you forgive somebody in your heart that you have forgotten the hurt that you felt. I think forgiveness frees your heart up to feel something else for the person that wronged us. Empathy, understanding, peace are all feelings that come to mind that allow you to move on, learn from your experience and grow as a person. Forgiveness allows you create room in your heart for new relationships, experiences and thoughts. Before long the incident that hurt you becomes a distant memory.
1 person likes this
• India
19 Feb 11
yea you are right but if you get a chance to forgive someone and accept that person with all his/her past mistakes whatever it may be will you accept it? will you forgive that person
• United States
25 Aug 09
Forgiveness is tough when someone hurts you and breaks a trust. I was only trully able to forgive my ex years after we broke up. However, I am always willing to give a person a second chance. To err is human, to forgive divine. We are all human, but in my case I gave my ex too many chances as many of us in love often do. I am now having trouble finding forgivenss in my heart for him hurting our children after abadoning them and I know this is an important thing so they don't feed off it. I realize they need to make up their own minds about the kind of man that he is. I know that when the time comes I will also instill in them the importance of forgiveness as well because hatred just eats away at your soul, it is not so much for that other person but for yourself, so that you can move past the infraction and the pain. I just hope years from now my kids will realize that mommy loved them enough for both of us.
1 person likes this
• India
19 Feb 11
i agree wit you too your case id littile bit different
@bigjim59 (32)
• United States
25 Aug 09
Forgiveness is one thing. Forgetting is another. Some things are dangerous if forgotten. This all depends on what infraction caused the hurt. I can forgive someone for cheating or violence against me...but you can be sure I won't be around for it to happen twice.
1 person likes this
• India
25 Aug 09
thanks a lot for your response !!
@ajed12 (1)
• Philippines
24 Aug 09
Forgiving someone can be one of the hardest things to do in life but it's not impossible. I was able to forgive now little by little. Just need time to heal all the wounds. If you really, really love that person you can find in your heart to forgive him/her. If someone ask your forgiveness then at least you should try give him/her the chance to make up with you. Forgive and forget and you will be happy..=)
1 person likes this
• India
25 Aug 09
thanks a lot for your response !!
• Philippines
24 Aug 09
I just let the time pass. I enjoy every moment I have right now. I do not think often about the past and how I was hurt by that person. I always keep busy with work, online games, shopping and traveling. After all, I still have good and true friends with me that I would just think that what has happened was done and just let go and accept so you can move forward and start enjoying what you have today. :) Always smile, stay happy. Life is too short to think about sad and hurtful thoughts.
1 person likes this
• India
25 Aug 09
thanks a lot for your response !!
@dodo19 (31995)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
24 Aug 09
Personally, I think that it really depends on what the situation is. There are some situations, when I have a fairly easy time forgive the wrongdoing. However, I don't always have an easy time forgive someone for their wrongdoing. It really just varies from situation to situation.
1 person likes this
• India
24 Aug 09
you are right it depends on situation
• United States
24 Aug 09
I don't think i will ever forgive my ex for what he did. I might at times not think about it but i will never forget it and will never forgive him for what he did to me. Cheating on someone is the most hurtful think someone can do after being together for two years and then learning from friends he constantly lied to me and was never truthful to me. It was really the hardest think i have ever dealt with in life so far. It was the worst think to ever go through since i lived with him and i believe i will never forgive him or forget about what he did and he didn't just do this to me but all the girls he was seeing beside me too and lieing to them. Not sure how he did this as we were living together most of the time we were together, but it was very hard to get over it and move on but it will always be in my head.
1 person likes this
• India
24 Aug 09
hhmm their are some peoples in this world which should not be forgivien any time but still i think that we should givee 1 more chance tho them to do every thing good again
@clorissa123 (4930)
• United States
24 Aug 09
I don't know if I ever forgave anyone. Maybe my friends, but it was small problem, and it won't worth the mentioning of the small fight. Sometimes, it was my fault, and other times, it was his fault. So, I can easily forgive him or her. I won't take it too seriously. For my father, he is a big forgiver. Even his brother, my uncle done him wrong, he still forgave him, and help him out. Nonetheless, they are brothers.
1 person likes this
• India
24 Aug 09
hhhmm thats what i think forgive every one and enjoy the life why to watse it like this