Can you still trust someone who lied to you?

Philippines
September 23, 2009 3:18am CST
It's hard to gain trust in every relationship and it takes minutes to destroy it. What if you've been lied about something that hurt you so much, and something that makes you doubt about your self. What if you've been lied once and twice, do you think can you still trust the person? For me, I don't think I can still trust the person. I do value trust a lot.
6 people like this
63 responses
@Melbee11 (233)
• United States
23 Sep 09
Someone lieing to me it's like throughing a knife to my heart. I would hate for someone to lie to me. Especially if you loved the person, I mean all that you gone through with this one person and find out they lie. Knowing them for a long time, going through the good, the bad, and the hard. I defently would hate them, and be broken.
1 person likes this
@daliaj (5689)
• India
23 Sep 09
This is a good discussion. I won't believe a person once I find out that the person has lied to me. I can understand that a person lies if he doesn't want to reveal something. But, I don't understand why people just lie for fun. I can't take it. I think it is a mental problem and it needs to be discussed with the doctor and fixed.
1 person likes this
@med889 (5963)
23 Sep 09
It is hard for me too to continue to trust someone as before especially when he has lied to me. However I am conscious that human beings are not perfect so we can lie. But if that lie has hurt me a lot then it is very difficult to trust the person again.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
23 Sep 09
Trust is very important in every relationship. If a person whom I trusted suddenly lied to me, it's going to be hard to trust him or her again. I think I would even decide to stay away from that person because he or she has hurt me and might do it again in the future.
1 person likes this
@janebeth (2049)
• Philippines
23 Sep 09
hi care, yes trust is very important, and once it will be destroyed you could no longer trust him back.. specially on a relationship, we all know that boys do cheat so whenever they were caught by their partners of course it ended up to war and misunderstandings.. and we can't stop it, so in my case, i will not trust that person again. yes everybody deserves a second chance, ok i will accept it but if he will do it again, i will never accept him back and i will tell to him his wrong doings so he will be aware on it again.. janebeth.
1 person likes this
@sharra1 (6344)
• Australia
25 Sep 09
No you can never really trust them ever again. Especially not if they lie more than once. Even worse if they lie after promising they will never lie again. Trust is a fragile thing. Once it is breached it is almost impossible to regain it. In fact if the person is really important to you then it can be hard to trust anyone ever again. That happened to me and I found it very hard to trust again but I never forgave the person who lied.
• Philippines
25 Sep 09
Yeah, It's very hard to trust the person again, but sometimes for the sake of love, you'll give it another try. But sad to say some people who lied once will lied twice and so on... That the person being lied would only suffered and bring doubt all through her/his life. Anyway thank you for sharing with us and have a great day!
1 person likes this
@sharra1 (6344)
• Australia
25 Sep 09
I quite agree that it is hard when it is someone you love and it also depends on what the lying is about. There are big lies and small lies. In my case the lies were huge and they damaged the relationship between myself and my father. The liar was my mother and the lies were about my father. Learning that I had been lied to was devastating to me. When someone lies to you and you discover it then you have to wonder if they have ever told the truth. Have you made decisions in your life based on things you thought were facts and now realise might be lies. Lies can poison so many things.
@aerous (13485)
• Philippines
25 Sep 09
I think there is always a little doubt in my mind if the person lied on me. Even do I forgive that person, doing such event from me. Still not avoid to think she is lying again...? Trust is hard to get it back once happen. But if the person show sincerity trust will be instill again for the sake of love... If the face of the person is shown disguise I think it's still doubt coming into my way. It's painful to be lied most especially that is your partner,boyfriend,girlfriend...never mind about friends because is not much damaging... Have a nice day!
• Philippines
25 Sep 09
It could be real worse if the person lied to you is your partner. Everything will be shattered and the love left will be filled with doubts. It seems like the world fall upon your shoulder. You'd be left with questions, bitterness and doubts. Yeah, I don't really care that much when it comes to friends... since most of them lied.LOL But to the only person that you truly trust and truly love, that's a very different story. Anyway thank you for sharing with us and have a great day!
@aerous (13485)
• Philippines
25 Sep 09
I agree with you, my friend. Because that is very painful enough to feel how your love lied on you. Everything you did for love and give the best of everything to please her. But all of those things are lying. So painful, my friend... It hard to believe even do ask forgiveness and say. Yes! I forgive but the pain and doubt is still there...I think that doubt will always be in our mind if we find something irrelevant again. Nice exchanging this topics with you, my friend. Have a nice day!
@ANTIQUELADY (36494)
• United States
24 Sep 09
I hate a liar & if they have lied to u once they will again. I had rather they slap my face than lie to me at least u could slap them back. When they lie to u there is nothing u can do but leave them the heck alone & that's what i do. Don't have time for people like that in my life.
@sharra1 (6344)
• Australia
25 Sep 09
I quite agree with you. It depends on why they lie. Some people will lie to turn you against others because they want to hurt the other person. That can be devastating if you do not realise that you are lied to and your relationship with someone is destroyed because of it.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36494)
• United States
25 Sep 09
Aperson who lies will do most anything in my opinion. Once they lie they have to keep on to cover their butte & they don't care who they hurt along the way. Have a great day.
@offlimits (602)
• Philippines
23 Sep 09
I do agree that it is hard to gain trust and like you, I do value trust a lot. But for me, I try to understand the instances first before losing the trust that I have for the person. I try to weigh our relationship and the damage done before anything else. It is hard to judge the circumstances right away most especially if you are carried away by emotions. But I think I will have to listen to whatever my heart tells me, that is, if I will still trust that person or not.
• Philippines
24 Sep 09
Yeah you're right, of course there might be a big reason why the person lied to you. And indeed it's very important to weigh and judge everything that happened fairly to avoid any regrets in the future. Not to let lies shadowed by love,because if not we only live our life in misery. Thank you for sharing with us offlimits and have a great day!
• Philippines
24 Sep 09
I just hope that if I give that person a second chance, s/he will have to prove to me that he or s/he deserves to be trusted again. Take care!
• China
23 Sep 09
It depends what the lie is. If a lie relly hurt me, I think I can't trust the person who lies anymore. If someone lies just for a joke, then I think it is acceptable. Actually, everyone lies, and in many situations, lying is necessary. I have been watch a TV series call 'Lie to me' which is very fascinating. I believe you will like it too.
• Philippines
24 Sep 09
Yeah, we can't helped not to lie. Every day we tell lies, though it's acceptable usually white lies. There's a different kind and level of lies. If it's really for fun, or to make someone felt better then that's fine. But if it truly hurt someone and lost her/his confidence then that's a whole lot different and should be taken seriously. Anyway thank you for sharing with us fishkingback and have a great day!
1 person likes this
• Canada
24 Sep 09
The trust that was broken in seconds, may take years to earn back.
@MsTickle (23651)
• Australia
28 Sep 09
If someone breaks a trust within a relationship then it takes a whole lot of work for that person to regain the trust. And if they were able to lie in the first place you would automatically think that they did not truly care. It would take an awful lot to build the trust again and the offended party would need to be very forgiving. People do make mistakes however so if there is love there must be forgiveness, If the lying continues then the relationship is basically non-existent.
• Philippines
2 Oct 09
Yeah, if there is love there should be forgiveness. Some people take advantage of the thing so called Love, especially when they know that the person depend them so much,and seems can't live without them. So they think when they make lies that person could forgive them. And it was true, one of my friend love her boyfriend so much so even though she was been fooled twice she still forgive and trust her boyfriend because she love him. For me it's not love its called stupidity. Anyway thank you for sharing with us and have a great day!
@veronizm (909)
• Philippines
25 Sep 09
Hi careguarden! Yes, I also value trust, A LOT. I have been betrayed so many times by different people, worse, my friends. That's because I always believe in second chances. However, I also have limits in trusting a person. When a person breaks my trust once, I can give him/her another chance to prove that he/she is worth my trust. But if that person is not worth at all, (i.e. he betrays/lies to me over and over again), then with no question, I wouldn't trust that person anymore. I will forgive that person however, I just wouldn't trust him :)
• Philippines
29 Sep 09
Hello my friend veronizm, Yeah, I agree with you. Me either value trust a lot, in every friendship and relationship. Trust is a form of love and respect, and if it's ruin with lies then everything falls apart. It's good to give a second chance to let the person proved his/her sincerity of apology. And yeah, we can forgive but we can no longer trust the person again sometimes. Thank you for sharing with us and have a great day!
• China
25 Sep 09
it depends. cause i think if only once, maybe he/she have some reasons. can give him/her chance to change or realize it. but if several times, maybe will be careful with him/her. if serious, neednt care for his/her words.
• Philippines
29 Sep 09
Yeah, If person do it once it's sometimes acceptable to forgive and learned to trust again. Since we all make mistakes and we all deserve a second chances. But twice and trice is another thing. And hard to bear and tolerate. Anyway thank you for sharing with us and have a great day!
@Opal26 (17694)
• United States
24 Sep 09
Hey careguarden! There is one thing that I just will not stand for in a friendship or relationship and that is lying! I have broken off many friendships because I found out that a particular friend had lied to me! I gave them a chance to change after confronting them and if they did it again that was it! I had a close friend who just couldn't keep from lying so I gave up on her! Unfortunately, she is also my next door neighbor which makes things a bit uncomfortable! We now just ignore each other! I warned her, confronted her, but she just kept on lying and that is something that I won't accept in anyone! If you can't trust someone then there can't be a relationship of any kind!
• Philippines
25 Sep 09
Hello my friend Opal, Yeah it's really hard if the person who lied to you would be living next to you, of you'd be working with that person, and you're in not in good terms 'cause from time to time you'll remember what he/she did to you. And it would only ruin your day. Well anyway that's why and we can't helped it! Anyway thank you for sharing with us and have a great day!
@breepeace (3028)
• Canada
23 Sep 09
I can't. I know the old adage is that time heals all wounds, but people only get one shot with me to be trusted completely, and after the trust is gone I keep them at arm's length.
• Philippines
24 Sep 09
Yeah, time heals all wounds but the scars would remained forever. We can forgive and forget the person but we can never forget the feelings she/he imprint into our heart. Thank you for sharing with us breepeace and have a great day!
• United States
23 Sep 09
Not sure about this one. Once they lie..its easy to lie again and it shows their character.
• Philippines
24 Sep 09
Yeah, once a person lied to us there's greater possibility that he/she will do it again. There's no assurance, well in life there's no security, every day we gamble. And I think it's better to lose than not trying at all, or not trying again. That's is life, the better thing is to be careful to choose the person we trust. Thank you for sharing with us gossipgirl and have a great day!
@sblossom (2170)
23 Sep 09
If the person I trusted cheated me I would not trust him or her any more. I don’t want to be hurt twice. Sometimes it’s not easy to find who cheat you, so better to keep careful in your mind and let others have chance to take your advantage. Some people would say give your friend a second chance. However I don’t think the nature would change so I would keep a distance from the friend. many stories happened around me would support my opinion.
• Philippines
24 Sep 09
Sometimes I consider on giving a second chance as much as possible, but as I've experienced it doesn't come up with my expectations. Most people who lies are very good in running with peoples' lives and making stories. It's equal probability for the person to tell a lie or truth on giving a second chance. Anyway thank you for sharing with us sblossom and have a great day!
• Philippines
23 Sep 09
I do agree with you. It takes alot of time to build trust but in one wink of an eye, one big lie, one big mistake that trust will be gone. Yes it is possible to say that we still love the person, we care about him but we dont trust him anymore. Once trust is broken, it will be very hard to bring it back. There will always have a doubt in our minds, no matter how we much tried. Especially if you have given that person a chance and he did broke again his word. Unfaithfulness is the root of broken relationship.
• Philippines
24 Sep 09
Yeah, unfaithfulness, and lies were the root of broken relationship and marriages. And what makes it worse is the lies that we experienced would be buried in our heart and make us doubtful to the people who truly care and sincere to us. It makes us hard to start and put our trust and live a happy life,it takes much time anyway. Thank you for sharing with us lovelyn, and have a great day!
@doryvien (2294)
• United States
23 Sep 09
If it's the first time and the person matters to me so much, I could give him/her another chance to redeem himself/herself. Yes it's hard to trust again but if there is a good reason to, maybe to save a marriage or a relationship/friendship, it could be worth another try. But if it appears to be habitual, then I'd rather let go.
• Philippines
24 Sep 09
Yeah, it's good to give a second chance for the sake of love and relationship but if it won't work better let it go before it ruin your whole life. Better have something good left for your self. Thank you for sharing with us doryvien and have a great day!
@syankee525 (6298)
• United States
23 Sep 09
to me it's like the first shame on you, second time shame on me third time nope trust is all gone
• Philippines
24 Sep 09
Yeah, it's like in a song, "shame on you if you fool me once, shame on me if you fool me twice." But you know we can't helped it sometimes especially if we really love the person. It's take's much love to start all over again, that's why there's a lot of people who are abused and hurt for a couple of times because of that love, not knowing that they let their self being abused. Thank you for sharing with us syankee and have a great day!