Do you think living with someone before your married is ok?

United States
September 30, 2009 12:43pm CST
I think it is ok to live with someone before your married. I am guitly as charged. I live with my fiance and we have been together for eight years. This has been the longest reationship I have ever had. i am very happy even though we are not married. I do worry about if we did break up if he would take everything or not give me my stuff. That thought has crossed my mind. It is not a pleasant thought. I know anything is possible and I would hope that would never happen. The thing is you never know.
3 people like this
25 responses
• United States
1 Oct 09
In this day and age I think it is ok. I realize that there are good reasons why people in the past frowned upon this. Yet, today most people who live together before marriage live responsible lives and have jobs. Woman, especially, don't have to be protected as they used to be in the past. Also, people are waiting longer to get married which shows that they are thinking about careers and the direction they want to go in life first. In the past no one gave much thought to all of this. This being said, I don't think most people could wait to have a partner and companion until they got married in their 30's. So, as long as both have a job and are responsible people I think it's alright.
• India
1 Oct 09
I feel that its perfectly alright to live with someone before marriage. The only prerequisite is that both the persons involved should have trust in each other and must be able to understand each others differences.Later if they feel comfortable with each other then they can get married.
@shia88 (4582)
• Malaysia
1 Oct 09
Hi tuckersheri, Before I got married, I do stay with my boyfriend (he is my husband now).We stayed together for about 3 years.He bought a house and I am renting a room at that point of time. SO at last, I decided to move in to his house.At least I can save my rental and we can see each other everyday. To me, it is quite acceptable to stay together under the same roof before married as long as we are not doing something wrong. We are now in a modern world and our thinking is more open-minded. My parents did agree when I first told them that I planned to move in to my boyfriend's house.No objection from them.At least ,I have someone to takecare of me rather than I stay alone outside. Staying together is also teached us on how to respect each other and knowing each other better.
• United States
1 Oct 09
it is not ok for me as if suppose you breakup with your partner then you wil be completely heart broken. this may even affect the future relationship
@gmatthews (155)
• United States
1 Oct 09
You don't buy a car without test driving it first do you? Okay sorry, I had to get that out of the way. LOL. Seriously, in most cases the law would look at your relationshio as a common law marriage and everything that you went into the relationship with is still yours. The issue is usual stuff that is aquired during the relationship...that is not so cut and dry. I lived with my main man for 2 years prior to marrying him. I think it's a good idea, because then you really know the person that you are committing to for the rest of your life. I also think it cuts down on divorce.
• India
1 Oct 09
Hi, my name is suneetha i partially did not accept this statement because, when we stay with our relatives like brother, mother, father, grand monther and grand father and sisters it is ok, those that person not related to us then how we stay with together. Before marriage our parents not accept and i am also not accept to stay with others. When the situation comes to us then we stay with them then automatically we have to responsibility to the others. this is my personal openion thats it. what about your openions?
@LordOzz (204)
• Philippines
1 Oct 09
yes. as long as you have a separated room. no other extra ordinary work.
• Philippines
1 Oct 09
it is not ok with me. personally, i don't want to "try it out" first without the sacrament of matrimony. i think that those who are really in love and ready are the ones qualified to get married. living together without the benefit of marriage is frowned upon in our country (although, i admit that some people do it). not only that i abide by what is practiced culturally, i consider it a crime against the laws of the Church and of God. maybe, it really depends on one's faith and belief. each one is entitled to his own opinions and practices.
@irene3184 (900)
• Philippines
1 Oct 09
I don't find it ok or good but I am living with someone right now for 3 months already. I feel guilty towards my parents because they brought me up with some moral teachings and lessons that is very much forbidden but I break those rules. I don't even know if this things is more better than marrying him at this early age. I am being confused.
@advokatku (4037)
• Indonesia
1 Oct 09
I think, live together without the bond of marriage is a harmful act the partner, especially for a women. How if the women pregnant ? the man could escape from responsibility and go left it
@xParanoiax (6998)
• United States
1 Oct 09
I think it's fine. You SHOULD know someone well enough that you both have an idea of what would happen should you break up. It's better when you know that you won't lose your stuff. And it is possible to know. If you don't really know who you're with...why do want to live with them? But then, personally, I don't believe in marriage and I have monogamous relationships...so yeah.
@cherrc (666)
• Philippines
1 Oct 09
it's on a case to case basis. great to know u guys r doing well with ur relationship. not being pessimistic here but things applicable to u may not be applicable to others and vice versa. living together without marriage has pros and cons in legal matters. u have mentioned some of the consequences when the problems arise. then again, lots have made it a success or maybe not. i have friends who are living together with a son (already a teenager) for more than a decade now and they're happy. like them, i wish u all the best.
@junmae (1592)
• Philippines
1 Oct 09
My boyfriend and I are planning to live together but we are not yet married. I am pregnant right now and my mother doenst want me to stay in our house because I am living in a country where if you get pregnant without a husband people will judge you. Although here, living together without marriage is a bad reputation but I dont have a choice because I need someone who will support me emotionaly and financialy.
@lelin1123 (15643)
• Puerto Rico
1 Oct 09
I beleive you don't know a person till you live with them. So why wait till your married to find out you both can't live with each other. I think it a very good idea and it helps to prevent people from making a mistake later.
@daliaj (5689)
• India
1 Oct 09
I live in a country where it is crime to stay together without marriage. Police can arrest you for that reason. Also, it is against the culture and church rules. Marriage brings a lot of change to the relationship than living together without marriage. Marriage is like a coat of security and inside that you feel secure and you don't have to worry about the condition tht you will be thrown away with nothing sometimes. Marriage gives you the secuirty of law.
@bmuchler (442)
• United States
1 Oct 09
I say it's ok. I lived with my fiance about a year before we got married. Actually we moved in together before we got engaged. It was kind of easier that way. We already had a place to live and were all moved in before any wedding stuff. Anything we had to get used to from each other was already out of the way. Those nice quirks you don't find out about until after you live with them a while. :)
@sid556 (31003)
• United States
1 Oct 09
Don't even worry about it. I lost everything when I was married as well as when a relationship broke up when we just lived together. As for material things...it's all about how hard you fight for it...i didn't really fight...just walked away. I've done it both ways and I will say...doesn't matter ...it's all on how you get along together. I never had much luck in that department. My aunt however lived with a man for years and years without marriage and they were so in love. Marriage was not the main priority in their relationship. Their love was. Don't worry....enjoy it it for what it is. I lost everything a couple of times. Ya it sucks but don't let yourself worry about that sort of thing. It didn't take me long to get back on my feet and well...I'm still here and happier than I was back in those days.
@mikeowl (200)
• Malaysia
1 Oct 09
I don't think it's wrong to live with someone before married. But on the other hand, my parents would not like it that much. So if I really want to live with someone before married, then I got to move out of the house. But I do care for my parents. I just need to stay with them for the rest of my life.
• Philippines
1 Oct 09
Just enjoy,be grateful and pray that God will never let that happen.
@mariahp (29)
• Mexico
30 Sep 09
Yes, you gotta try before buy it hahahah well, in my opinion I think is good to live with someone before getting married. Right now I don't have a relationship but if I ever have a boyfriend and he ask me to live together I will, it's very different when you spend some time with him or her every weekend than spending all the week together hahaha you are gonna have to share responsabilities and I think this help knowing each other better :) anyway you are going to live with that person after marrying so why not giving a chance before doing it??