It is good to help others. What is the limit for it?
By vijayanths
@vijayanths (7877)
India
October 6, 2009 1:15pm CST
It will be really nice if you could help others.There can be no second opinion on that. But if you spend most of the time in helping others your development will slow down largely. Do you help others? If you do, can you be in control not to cross the limits to affect your life?
2 people like this
26 responses
@kalav56 (11464)
• India
6 Oct 09
Thanakku minjidhan dhanamum dharumamum- or "Charity begins at home" is a well thought out saying isn't it? Sometimes, we do tend to get carried away but even while I help others I can be in control of myself.By and large, women are natural survivors and so you wold see this quality more in men than women.Women are more selfish than men and because God has wired them to be survivors this happens.
@vijayanths (7877)
• India
6 Oct 09
Oh, Kala this is a new philosophical concept for me. You always agree that women are more selfish than women. Naanga ellam meluguvarthinga sacrificing everything for you women, hehehe.
@jacobsguardian (108)
• United States
6 Oct 09
I have to disagree with you. I think men tend to be more selfish and that's why God has given women the ability to have children. You don't often see men giving up their careers to stay home with their kids or sacrificing things they need just to provide their children with creature comforts. I'm not saying women aren't selfish, I just think they are less selfish than men in general.
@ckyera (17332)
• Philippines
7 Oct 09
yes, i think we will all agree on that! it is always good to help others and it will give us a good feeling as well. i always try my best to help others even on the simplest possible way that i can...but of course i also have some limitations, i don't tolerate people who are always asking for help but do nothing to help themselves...
some people just don't deserved to get help...such as those lazy ones...who just always depends on the help that they get from other people...
@vijayanths (7877)
• India
7 Oct 09
Yes, ckyera, it is hard to tolerate those people who always ask for more and more help.
@pkc3000 (1266)
• India
7 Oct 09
hey subha12 I am not fully agree with you as it is universal truth that if you help some one definitely you will get return the benefit but you can not see and you can not get the said benefit instantly.In my life I have seen so many persons but one thing your help should be whole heartedly and without any interest. It is one type of blessing which is invisible and you will realise later on. You might have heard the sentence that serving to human beings serving to god. I advise you pl. help the needy persons it is my word you will get return benefit.
pkc3000
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
6 Oct 09
I try to help people but at one time in my life I was helping anyone and everyone and found I was being taken advantage off. It took me a long time but I learned to 'say no' and although I do still help others it's not nearly as much as in the past and if I feel it's not appreciated or they are 'using me' I don't help that person again.
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
7 Oct 09
I still help people when I can but with limits. An example yesterday I got out of work and had to go to the grocery store. I was exhausted and it was raining but had no food in the house. As I was pulling the shopping cart out of the line I heard a man asking several people if they had jumper cables. I turned around to see the last person shaking their head no. I told the man I had cables and if he could give me 15 minutes to get my groceries I would help him. He gave me an almost dirty look like I had to go back out in the rain and help him right then. I just looked at him and said, "I'll tell ya what if you haven't found some by the time I am finished I'll help" I then took a few extra minutes looking at things in the store just because I was angry at his attitude not that I didn't want to help.
When I came out he was gone so guess he got someone else to help him.
@vijayanths (7877)
• India
7 Oct 09
yes, byfaithonly, that is the biggest disadvantage taking us for a ride.
@PeacefulWmn9 (10420)
• United States
6 Oct 09
Hello my friend. I do help others, my own limitations, ones I did not used to have, get in the way of pursuing it to the extent that I used to. I think one knows when they've surpassed their ability to be an actual help to others without being a detriment to their own peace and well-being, and if we do not heed that message, we'll just drop in our tracks of exhaustion! Then, we have no choice but to cut back and heal.
Karen @midnightbliss (541)
• Philippines
6 Oct 09
its always good to help others but sometimes it happens that they really get used to it that when you're unable to help them in a certain occasion, they will feel bad think bad about about you.
And in term of money, for my opinion, its fine to lend somebody your extra, you should not get yourself into debt just to lend to other people, because If they can't pay you back on time, it will be you who will pay it.
@neo_matrix (884)
• India
11 Oct 09
untill recent past i used to help others as much as possible without even caring if it will ever be repaid.but most of the times i found out that people start taking you for granted if you help a lot.it hurts then ,when you people try to exploit you for your generosity.i still can't help helping others but am trying to be more cautious.
@grecychunny26 (9483)
• Philippines
26 Oct 09
It is good to help if you can . helping may not always in the form of money, but support or giving thing or any kind. The limit is if you have nothing to give anymore. Sometimes for being kind and good Samaritan someone will take advantage of your kindness so that limit for this is to stop helping those person like that. It can be on different situation. When we help our friend and other people we sometimes give what we only can offer. Those people should not force us to give what we can’t give , that is our limit. Me I limit my help to those person I help that did not want to help themselves who always depend on people that will help them. Those people are tardy and they will never grow.
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
6 Oct 09
Hi vijayanths, It has been said that we are here to help one another and I believe that we should do that. I know that there are those who take advantage of others and won't do anything for themselves. The best way to help such people would be to set them straight on how things work, but we can't always do that. We have to remember that a hand up is always better than a hand out because it helps the other person to make his own way in the world. Whenever we help another, it's good idea to suggest that they pass it on to another when they are able. I have seen this work to great advantage. Blessings.
@vijayanths (7877)
• India
7 Oct 09
Pose, you always come up with great responses. You are really good at that, thanks.
@charlies2805 (777)
•
7 Oct 09
Yes, I do help others and I really really enjoy doing that. But I really know the limit until which line I have to help the people in my surroundings. Basically, they need helping hand and I'll be there to offer my helping hand. But that doesn't mean that I will do the same help every single day because however we are individuals and have feet to stand upon. I think the limit is just decision whether our help is enough or not. And once it is enough, then we have to consider about asking another help. =)
@silvercoin (2101)
• Lithuania
6 Oct 09
Today I realized I spent too much time on helping bad people.One of them went beyond limits asking me for help.Now what I decided for myself is that I won't help people who can easily solve their problems without my help and ask for help because they are lazy.I won't help people who are ungrateful and selfish and use me like old good credit card.Give water to those who are thirsty, not to those who will wash their legs with it.
@chaitanya_bhima (33)
• India
6 Oct 09
am enjoy to help other but only product based not a cash directly.
if suppose child is bugging am help to arrange the food to him.
@vijayanths (7877)
• India
6 Oct 09
help may be of any kind chaitanya. I am not talking about money alone here. Nice to read your response, thanks.
@jugsjugs (12967)
•
6 Oct 09
I always think it is good as well as nice to help other people.Sometimes i think you can do too much to help someone as well as always helping where as they expect it.It is when you keep doing the same thing knowing that you are doing something to help them and they are not doing anything to help themselves.
@raj_gupta (311)
• India
6 Oct 09
Hi.
It is indeed a good thing to help others and I try to do that whenever possible and I feel that I can.
The limit, as if can't be predefined I guess. For me when I feel that its enough, I leave it.
@vijayanths (7877)
• India
6 Oct 09
yeah, that is good to watch our limits, thanks raj for the response.
@nathalghoda (66)
• India
7 Oct 09
It gives you joy when you help others. I too like to help others. Help must be supportive. One should not depend on others for help. It is important when it is offered to a needy person. Offering it to a lazy person is limit.
@daliaj (5674)
• India
7 Oct 09
Yes, of course, there is a limit for it. I help others, but I always make sure that nobody is using me too much and I don't offer helps to people whom I think can take advantage of me. My room mate is very helpful to everybody. She has come across certain incidents where people literally made advantage of her time and money, even after than she didn't learn a lesson. She still helps everybody.
@wfhsharon (22)
• Singapore
7 Oct 09
I agree that there is a limit to helping because there are people whom you give an inch they'll take a yard. An act of kindness entails giving a leg up, or a push-start to get the other person going. If the person's ability is not up to par to perform a function, he/she will have to take his/her own responsibility to work on his/her own basics.
A good friend will have to be cruel to be good for the other. There's a saying give the man a fish he gets fed for one day, teach a man to fish he feeds himself for life. If the time, energy and resource to help the person would burn you out, don't do it, just be honest to the friend even if you may have to tell him off or lose the friendship.
A good friend will not burn into you out, will not drag your energy down and will not drain out the love you have for him/her.
@kapil2703 (65)
• Singapore
7 Oct 09
I like to help others but only needed people .. Some people just need helpl because they don't want to do their job i.e careless or clever.
So helping others are good but don;t be fooled :) .
@shilley (155)
• India
7 Oct 09
A person with a helping nature is indeed appreciable.But being too good is always not good.When a person is helping others,he should be aware that he is helping someone for a right reason,help rendered for a wrong person for a wrong reason will never be counted under good deeds.At the same time one should not be over generous,example.,a father if donates all his earnings for needy,offcourse he is generous but not responsible towards his family.
Yes,i do help others,but only those with some genuine reasons.
