She's lazy and she knows it!! I cant stand it!
By dloveli
@dloveli (4366)
United States
October 6, 2009 9:11pm CST
My friend is sooo lazy! She is 27 years old and still lives at home with her mother. She is unemployed and constantly smokes weed. She is happy with it from what I see. Her poor mother is at her wits ends. She was recently hospitalized for blood clots in her legs. She is morbidly obese and always making excuses for herself. We went looking for jobs today. We were at a small shopping plaza that has 7 maybe 8 stores. We parked at the store at the end of the strip mall. I suggested we walk to the other stores and ask for applications and introduce ourselves. She walked to two of them. THen she said she was tired and didnt want to apply to the last three. I wanted to scream. I went on without her. It irks me because she is always trying to make plans then the day of cancel them. I know I am my own person but I care about her. I want to talk to her about it but I dont want to hurt her. I think one she is too overweight and if she doesnt become motivated she's going to die of obesity. Her ankles are the size of a neck or thigh. She makes jokes about it. She says she's not a big eater yet she waits until she drops me off at home then on her way home she stops and gets a large chicken stir fry with both american and provolone cheese. Her justification is that its stir fry with vegetables. Come on I am not a saying she should be skinny. I am simply saying move around. She told me today that her mother found her laying on the couch this past weekend and flipped out. I said to her that maybe her mother is upset because she was recently hospitalized with blood clots. If she doesnt become motivated to move around she could get more clots. Maybe this time she wont be so lucky and may die. Do you have friends like this? She sees no problem with the way she lives. She also loves to smoke pot so that makes her even more lazier. She is asking for trouble if you ask me. WHat do you think? Am I wrong? DO you have friends like this? Please share your thoughts and experiences on this subject. dl
6 people like this
22 responses
@suzzy3 (8342)
•
7 Oct 09
You are not going to like what I am about to say.Your not responsible for someone else's life if your friend wants to lay around smoking pot it is up to her.You sound like you have done your best ,more than most would.Who buys her pot anyway,where does she get her money from,who is funding this lifestyle.We have all got problems with health or what ever but everyone Iknow including me,got off my rear end and did something about it,I have got my friends going and they have done the same for me at times of stress or illness.If your friend will not respond then move on.Her laziness is wearing her mother out,and wearing you out and not only that stressing you out as well,leave her alone for a while.Unfortunately pot wrecks the brain and thought process,so it might be to late for you to help her or make any difference anyway,she needs professional help ,if she does not respond to that then its her fault.I said you would not want to hear it,I have seen many people try to change their friends lifestyle and it always ends in tears normally the one who is doing the help,because the other one does not really want help.
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
9 Oct 09
Hey Suzzy! Listen I may not like what you say but its the truth! I love the chick! She is my friend. I dont want to see her die or be kicked out for something that can be avoided. Its true what you said about her basically not wanting to change or hear me. I have decided that she's coming over this weekend and I am going to tell her how I feel and leave it at that. She's a great person! I think I have played into her scam. She is guilting me into taking care of her. Her mother isnt young. She's in her late 50's, early 60's. She's always yelling at her daughter. Telling her to get out and get a job. Its sad because I have talked to the mom and she just wants her daughter to pull her own weight. Lately she's gained to much weight that she's not able to lift her weight. I have lost a friend from weight loss issues. I DONT want to lose another! Especially her. Thanks my friend. Happy MyLotting. dl
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
7 Oct 09
h dlovli wow you are a good friend to her, but she does'need
to appreciate you and her poor mom. she is a good candidate
for becoming diabetic. tell her that,it might scare her into
moving around and losing weight.overweight is a big pusher for
person to get diabetes. now she has blood clots in her legs, that is also bad. or had should I say. she really needs to move
around so that she will not get more clots. I hAve no friends with this, but I know that if I had not become overweight I might have been able to bypass diabetes.no you are not wrong and if care for your friend ask her to get checked for diabetes I will bet you that she is probably Already diabetic. if she is she needs to be treated at once so she will not hAve later complications from it. She is really asking for trouble,leg clots, stroke,heart trouble,diabetes, show her statistics on American Diabetes Association.com on the net,get her Alarmed enough to go get tested,if she already had not been. this worries me as a diabetic.
2 people like this
@scarlet_woman (23465)
• United States
12 Oct 09
i have quite a few friends that are 350+,and all of them are very active.
one is a personal assistant and she zips back and forth all day.
if she has clots in her legs,she may already have some in her lungs-that could be contributing to her tiredness.she needs to be monitored before she can become truly active.though i agree,she needs to move a bit before she gets more.laying around isn't good for anybody regardless of size.
@rebelann (111177)
• El Paso, Texas
23 Jan 21
I don't see how anyone can lay around a lot because if I do my bones start to ache.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
13 Oct 09
No you are not wrong to be concerned about your friend at all. I know it is awkward but someone needs to talk straight to her and maybe give her a little (or big) dose of tough love. It sounds as if people who love her are very concerned but are actually making it easy for her to continue this lifestyle without meaning to. Now if she does not work, how is she affording pot and fast foods etc? Her mom should give a choice of actively seeking employment or moving out. If she is recieving a state check then her mom should be requesting rent money. Smoking pot is the last thing this girl needs. It will make her hungry and crave junk food. It will also make her lazy. Her weight probably also slows her down. You may have to as a friend stop putting up with her behavior for her own good. She has to care as much about herself as you care about her. Maybe you and her mom could talk and work together to get this girl motivated. You could tell her that as long as she continues like this that you love her but can't sit back and watch her slowly kill herself and that if she doesn't start trying to improve her health and situation that you won't be able to spend as much time with her. Then stick to it. Good luck.
1 person likes this
@rebelann (111177)
• El Paso, Texas
23 Jan 21
You make some interesting points, especially about her mother supporting her bad habits.
@anniefannie (1737)
• United States
9 Oct 09
i can't stand around and listen to people that don't try to help their selves.no i don't have any lazy friends all of them has worked for years like i have.Maybe she will come to senses and start doing something before it is to late.maybe if you keep talking to her she will. goodnight
@rebelann (111177)
• El Paso, Texas
23 Jan 21
No one can change another person each of us is responsible for ourselves and the change has to be within us.
@jacobsguardian (108)
• United States
7 Oct 09
Is this the same friend that you wanted to buy the dog for? If so, I wouldn't even consider it if she's having this many issues with herself. Anyway, if her mom still puts up with her living at home with no job then why would she motivated to do anything. Sounds like Mom needs to kick her out and you need to tell her that you can't stand around idly while she tries to kill herself. Sometimes it takes someone to lose the support of their friends and family to motivate them. I hope I don't sound too harsh.
1 person likes this
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
9 Oct 09
Oh Yeah She's one in the same. I have already sat her down and told her that I dont think she's at the point right now where she could take care of a dog. She doesnt even make her own bed. How could she feed and bath a dog? I think I am going to take your advise and ease up. I honestly dont think she's as serious depressed as in killing herself. She had surgery about 8 weeks ago and she sees it as a way out of doing anything. SHe is lazy not severely depressed. It's a game to her. I am sick of babying her and then finding out she's at home acting as if she's helpless. I think she knows how to turn it on and off. I have separated myself from her alittle. I dont see her everyday anymore. I let her see how lazy she really is. Her mother is at her wit's end. I am meeting her saturday in the a.m. to tell her what I think about her actions. dl
1 person likes this
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
7 Oct 09
that is really terrible... i think you are really a good friend and you had done all you can to advice her and help her... there is really nothing much more that you can do for her... she is already an adult and eventually she is the one who has to make the decision and take control of her own life... if she decided to live the way that she is living now, then let her be... just let her know that she will bear the consequences one day... good luck... take care and have a nice day...
1 person likes this
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
9 Oct 09
You dont even know the half of it! If you back check some of my discussions, you'll see that this is the same person who got me into trouble at my job. She thinks that she can say sorry and things are ok. I have her back in every aspect of her life. I dont really know how much more I can take. I have taken steps to distance myself from her. I only hope I wont have to end the friendship completely. I trusted her! THanks for the advice and response. dl
1 person likes this
@d_red_madelaine (528)
• Philippines
7 Oct 09
I admit I am lazy but at least I don't have any vices and I look for a job in the internet. It just so happen that it's hard to look for a job and if ever there are any I don't like the offers, I'm so choosy. I've gained a lot of weight too because I'm so lazy to exercise I just sit in front of the computer the whole day. I still live with my parents at 28 but close family ties is one of our cultures so its okay. You have done your part as a good friend it's now your friends turn to realize what is wrong before its too late. Just always be there for her keep motivating her.
1 person likes this
@ProudMommy22 (705)
• United States
7 Oct 09
Okay Most importantly pot dont make you lazy so that excuse is out the door. Your lazy because you want to be no one or nothing can make you be. If that was the case then i could say since i have 2 child whom are 1 and 3 run around all day screaming like a bunch of wild chickens with their heads cut off so that makes me lazy LOL it dont work because its a lie. As far as you trying to make your friend see she has a problem is not going to work. She needs to understand and admit she has a problem before something can be done as well as she needs to be willing to change it for her self not for you or anyone else. You cant help people who dont want to help themself.
1 person likes this
@rebelann (111177)
• El Paso, Texas
23 Jan 21
I think weed accentuates your more prominent personality traits, course I have no real knowledge of that.
@angelajoy (1825)
• Philippines
7 Oct 09
I've never met a person like this, but when I do, that person would surely not become my friend. I don't like lazy people. She's an adult and knows what's good and bad for her. It's her fault that she doesn't choose what's good for her, and because of this you can't do anything for her.
1 person likes this
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
7 Oct 09
I get so annoyed with her. I dont feel at this point I am being a good friend to her.All I feel like doing is yelling at her. I almost think she does things on purpose because people wont yell at her because they feel bad for her. I am at the point that I dont feel bad for her, I feel bad for me! THanks for your support. dl
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
7 Oct 09
hello dloveli,
If I were in that situation, i would just let her be if she doesn't listen to me. that's her life and not mine. and i won't force her to do anything if she's not been able to do it herself can't allow her to drag me into her laziness. 
,you're a good friend but you also have a life and she knows it, probably she didn't care, until it's too late
@gmatthews (154)
• United States
7 Oct 09
I do not think she is lazy and unmotivated. She is probabaly depressed. Depression can do a lot to a person emotionally and physically. The best thing that you can do for her is be her friend and suuport her. I know the stuff with her mom is frustrating, but let her mom handle it. You are her friend so do not take on defending her mom, this will just upset her. Be cautious about comments that you make about her weight. It is okay to tell her that you care about her and that you want to try helping her. The best thing you could do for her is to try getting her help for the depression. I'm shocked the doctor has not suggested alternatives to her weight loss. If she can start feeling better about herself she will be more likely to lose the weight.
1 person likes this
@rebelann (111177)
• El Paso, Texas
23 Jan 21
I wonder if getting her a pet to take care of would help.
@sakyaputra (9)
• Indonesia
7 Oct 09
hi dloveli, she must change but by herself, no one can't help her like this kind of situation, but all we can do is encouraging her to change.is she ever experience something that make her like this? something probably bad thing happen to her?
1 person likes this
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
7 Oct 09
She knows exactly what she is doing. That's what gets me. In one breath she states she knows she is lazy and has to change. Then the next thing she's back to the same crap. What makes me sick is how she is always trying to play the poor me. SHe does alot of stuff that because she lives at home with mom she isnt made to do. She has been sleeping down in the living room on an air mattress because she doesnt want to make her bed. I flipped when I heard this. She was hospitalized for serious blood clots. They told her to use stairs exercise and stop the helpless routine. Here she is waiting for someone else to make her bed because it will make her sweat. How fair is that?
@EbbieEbbie (2)
• United States
8 Oct 09
I feel bad that your friend is not motivated. I agree that she should move around. Maybe, for one reason or another, she feels as if she is at a point in her life where all hope seems lost. Therefore, she just stays on the couch and does not feel much of an urge to do anything else. It must be extremely difficult to see your friend in such a state. In a situation such as this, support can be the best thing. It was good to go to look for jobs with her. I do not have any good advice regarding this situation, but maybe somehow she will realize that life is not worth just spending on the couch. If she could find the motivation to move around and find herself, she would realize that she can enjoy life.
1 person likes this
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
8 Oct 09
Hey Ebbie! I feel bad too but afterall she is a grown woman. She sleeps downstairs because she is waiting for her mother to make her bed. WHen she said this I blew up. She is creating her own problems personally and healthwise. I have done and suggested all I can do. She is her own worst enemy. THanks dl
1 person likes this
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
7 Oct 09
She’s suffering from chronic depression, if you ask me. she needs immediate psychological treatment apart from physical treatment. Depression and obesity are related and one feeds the other. I am actually feeling very sorry for this lady coz she really doesn’t know how much she is missing in her life. Being a couch potato and having stir fry is her only option though I am sure if you scratch deeper, she is very very unhappy about it. Since she is so obese, she naturally does not like to mix with people and I doubt if she would be hired for any job. Motivating her is something you cant do alone, if you can, try and take her to a psychologist.
@rebelann (111177)
• El Paso, Texas
23 Jan 21
I have never had a friend with any serious depression before but now that you mention it you are correct.
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
7 Oct 09
This is very sad, I'm sure your friend would feel better mentally and physically if she got out and did more. The saddest thing is there is probably some very serious reason why she is the way she is and needs help. No expert here but I would say best you could do is continue to be her friend but don't add to her problems maybe the time will come you can suggest she talk to a councler or someone who can help her.
@daliaj (5674)
• India
7 Oct 09
I can understand your situation. It is soemthing difficult to handle. It seems she doesnt' care much about working, but she can't live without working for a long time. I think she is not confident to attend interviews or face people regarding work. Lazy people can't live in this world because the prices of commodities are going up day by day and you need to work to achieve your bread. You can make the girl more confident about working by offering your help and talking nice words.
@msfrancisco9369 (10002)
• Boston, Massachusetts
7 Oct 09
oh wow...she's really certified lazy and unmotivated. i think she needs professional help for some self-processing, therapy and medication. she needs to be fully-well before being motivated to work and do something worthwhile in her life.
I always take on responsibility for making lazy people realize the importance of being a team player and being responsible. There's always a nice way and approach in dealing with these kind of people--- until they realize the essence of your message.
@rebelann (111177)
• El Paso, Texas
23 Jan 21
Not that I disagree with you but what does team player have to do with it?
@irene3184 (898)
• Philippines
7 Oct 09
I think she just enjoy being with that kind of lifestyle. I never had a friend like that and I'm glad that I don't have because I have only a little patience to a person like that. I think you did your part already being a friend to her. Let her on herself and you do your part to give time on your own.
1 person likes this
