would you be friends with your ex

United States
October 9, 2009 1:54pm CST
if you brake up would you still talk and be friends why or why not if no would you try to avoid them and every time you see them you go a different way
4 people like this
17 responses
@figjam00 (1450)
• India
10 Oct 09
hello mylotters ,it's a very nice question n firstly i wanna say i have never been in any kind of relationship, i know it's sounds funny but i have a opinion in this question i think it's not possible for anybody who had just break up because u only remember the best time that u had spend with him/her n one day you'll realize that he's the only person who has made for you n surely you'll go back to her/him.....
@dipak06 (913)
• India
10 Oct 09
i think you are right.at least this happen with me also and i think with many person who falls in true love.when you think about break up with your love my suggestion will be just think about your past beautiful moment with his/her...you have to then come again to your lover..i think that is the invisible bond of love
@Hazelrose (2186)
• Philippines
10 Oct 09
Hi 16Sissy16, Well..maybe after broke up No,It is very painful at first but as time goes by it will heal.Then maybe we can start to be friends again.Good Luck!
@dipak06 (913)
• India
10 Oct 09
i am agree with you that if time goes then may be again two can be friend of each other but instantly one can not think about it..if it will happen then they wll very much ultra modern and very much advanced
@kykidd (6823)
• United States
9 Oct 09
I think at first it is very difficult to be friends with someone, after a break up. You probably should try to avoid each other, in order to avoid confrontation. Then, after a while, you will probably start to remember more of the positive aspects of the relation. You will enjoy thinking about the positive things that he or she did, and learn not to dwell on the negatives of the relationship. When you first break up, unfortunately the negative points are more fresh in your mind. But as time goes by, the negative and the positive will both be in your long term memory, so it will be easier to recall whichever you prefer. And if you are living a positive life, it is easier to recall the positive things that you enjoyed and get on with your life. Hope this information is a bit helpful. Good luck to you in the future and have a great day here on myLot!
• China
10 Oct 09
I really agree with you.I think this is the thought oritention for most of people.
• Canada
13 Feb 10
i actually have a very strong opinion about this. There is only one ex boyfriend that i maintain communication with. He was my first true love, and i've always cared for him very deeply. Many people say if your still friends with you past love you are either still in love or never were. Now i know i will always care about him, and will always love him, but that does not mean that im still "in" love with him. He is my bestfriend, and im his. And we talk almost daily, and he is the one person i know i can turn to if i ever need to talk about anything. I dont think it is wrong to maintain a friendship with an ex, but it has to be for the right reasons. And it isnt always easy to maintain a friendship with an ex, but if he really is important to you, it will be worth all the hurdles. Me and my ex fought for about a week straight just to get everything out there in the open, get our closure and all the answers we we needed. Once that was done and over with, we were finally able to move forward, and maintain a friendship.
@jndlponti (2415)
• Philippines
25 Oct 09
I do not think I could still manage to be friends with him if after what we had. maybe if we meet one day in a situation we could still have a casual talk but not as comfortable as we could before what happened to us.
• United States
10 Oct 09
Hi Sissy I definitely agree with the answer that it all depends on how the relationship ended. If it was mutual and not based on any hard feelings, I think I would be comfortable in being friends with him. If we broke up on the basis of some 'uglier truths', there's no way I would want to do anything with him. Why would I want to be friends with him when in the first place I din't like him enough to be with him? But then, these are just my opinions. I have seen people trying to be friends after breaking up, it may have been easier for them, but their common friends always used to tread lightly around them (First-hand experience!!). They would never know when the (ex)couple would start tearing at each others throat. So, I think even if I wanted to be friends with him, I would make sure that I am not making our friends uncomfortable around us.
@GardenGerty (93698)
• Marion, Kansas
10 Oct 09
I do not think I would try to be friends with them.If I disliked them enough to break up with them, I would dislike them enough to no longer be friends.
• United States
10 Oct 09
After a break-up, it's best to completely avoid someone afterwards as much as possible. It will just make it way harder. As much as you would like to simply call or text them sometimes, don't. Avoid it at all costs. Just keep your distance, I promise it's the best way to do it.
• India
10 Oct 09
Crazy me... I still AM friends with my ex.
@angelajoy (1840)
• Philippines
10 Oct 09
For me it depends on how we broke up and the reason why we broke up. I can't be friends with an ex if I hate him. But if we just broke up because we can't get along with each other, nothing serious, then yes, I could be his friend as long as we don't have a very close relationship.
@dipak06 (913)
• India
10 Oct 09
i think that at first it is very much difficult for me to breakup with my lover.because i love her very much..i think it will be more difficult to be good friend with one with which you break up.you anyone can do it then i have to say that he/she have the guts.when she will betray me then obviously i will not go to makeany relationship further if she will not proceed to make.if it will be my fault then i'll obviously try to be a friend at least of her..but at present situation i cant think to break up with my love
• Philippines
10 Oct 09
for me, it depends upon the situation on how you broke up. maybe because you both have reasons on going such ways to know more your identity as a person. also, it depends on how you reason out things to stay on a different way or to still keep in touch even though your relationship has ended. however, relationship does not always mean staying sweet or being happy together but it is also one way of knowing your interests and being comfortable in choosing to be with someone or not.
@delkar (1716)
• Romania
10 Oct 09
Sometimes . I mean , almost every time, with every girl , we remained friends, but there was one girl ... i couldn`t be frind with that girl, because when we brokeup , we were fighting, and we said a lot of bad things . I didn`t saw her for almost 2 years since then . I just her after a wile, then, but she was on the other side of the street , but that was all . She camed once on messenger to ask me not to talk anymore with her`s cousin , because he don`t want me to talk anymore with him . But, i`ve asked him ,and he told me that she`s nut, because he didn`t say something like that . And i decided to be a friend of her cousin , but with the condition that we will not talk ever about her . But, with all other ex girlfriends i even talk a lot of things , and it`s a strong friendship .
@jenyenh (205)
• Maldives
10 Oct 09
I guess it depends how both of you split up. However it will alwyas be difficult to face that person again after such a decision. In some cases you can end up being friends if it was a mutual decision and you talk it through before you parted ways. If not, it would be hard each time, and both of you will try to go the other way. For me, I prefer to face the truth, I maybe unconfortable talking or looking at the person again, but running the other way would not change the past o whatever happened. It's better to move on than hold on to something that you know is not meant to be, so I prefer to move on and talk to the person as if I have no hurt feelings.
@4my1nonly (352)
• Philippines
10 Oct 09
hi 16Sissy16, well for me if you brake up in a good situation why not, being friends with your ex is ok not unless if your brake up was not good and you really don't want to see his/her face anymore......this is just my opinion, because i also have an ex but we're friends and his my sons godfather...
@feodda (579)
• Philippines
10 Oct 09
It always depends on how well you know each other and they way you have broke up. There are many situation that I have encountered, even in my life. It happen that I have become a friend of my ex and it is so happen that my ex was my worst enemy. I have an ex that we are very close and even we talk to each other frequently. It is because the bonding we have shared. And we are very open to one another. We broke up because of incompatibility in us. There were no other affair that between us. And we decided to continue our friendship because in that sense it will work out. We do see that our relationship is not that so strong as our friendship is. As with my latest ex, he is the worst enemy I had. Never in my life thinking to be friend with me. He was a liar and having an affair with other woman, and deny it for several times. But the woman, is so thick face to send me messages about them. My ex allowed he other woman to ruin my life, my family and my work. It is very depressing in my side. You could never forgive and be friends with that kind of ex that put you and your family and friends into humiliation.
@maezee (29504)
• United States
10 Oct 09
For me it really depends on what the relationship was like and why it ended. I dated one guy, once, for a while.. and we ended up deciding that we made better FRIENDS than anything else, and went back to that. It wasn't awkward at all! And because it wasn't an angry break-up and there were no hard feelings (it was just a mutual decision between the two of us), it felt natural to go back to being friends. It's also important to note that we were friends to begin with, which is important. About a year ago I got out of a relationship that had lasted 8 months (by far my longest one!) but it was a relationship that was pretty rocky and that we jumped into too quickly- we didn't start out being friends, in other words. So there was no way we could go back to it. And because things ended a little..badly, I really can't imagine us to ever be friends in the future. It would be nice to be reconciled in such a way, but I don't think it's ever going to happen, just because of the way that the relationship started/ended.