Shouting at children makes them stubborn

Hi buddy... thats true...children's mentality depends entirely on parents.... because parents are the first hero-heroine for a born kid... so parents should behave like a role model and be an example for how a human is supposed to be...instead if they keep yelling at them... at some point the love and affection that kid has over parents happens to vanish... being polite and affectionate to their mischievous acts, can change the kids being polite according to me...

I always shout at children but that makes them more disciplined

Rude behaviour towards children and also between parents leaves a deep impact on young minds. I know this coz I have paid a heave price for it. Due to a lot of personal reasons, we’ve had to shift house and separate from a joint family where my son was born and grew up amidst loving care of my in-laws. However, in the new environment it was difficult for all of us to adjust and my son was having a lot of temper tantrums…instead of being understanding towards him, I started shouting and threatening him over a lot of things. Gradually, he started answering back even to the point of hitting me back! Can you imagine??? Things started going out of my hand until I realized that I was walking the wrong path. My sweet boy was very much there, only I had changed to a ‘monster mom’…well nowadays, I don’t lift my hand on him any more and if I am angry or he’s not doing something which I want him to do, I just cool my voice and ask him if he wants me to become angry and shout at him…that usually does the trick and he falls in line.

I don't think shouting is the way to make kids obedient. Nobody likes others to shout at them. I hate it when somebody shouts at me. I feel embarassed when somebody shouts at me in the crowd. I have faced that situation. Once I went for a prayer meeting with my grandfather. Once the metting is over, we both came out of the meeting hall through two ways and my grandpa had a difficult time searching for me and my sister. Once he found out us; he shouted at us. I felt very embarassed.

i think we should be really patient with kids. but really it's easier said than done. they're such hyperactive kids that i have to shout at them to make them understand what i'm trying to tell them. i know it's not healthy but i just can't seem to help it. i pray for more patience. i don't want my kids to be rude! what can you suggest i do to be a better parent to them?

I have one toddler, he's very hyper, I do shout to him sometimes especially when he showed the tantrum. I don't proud of what I'm doing, I love him very much, he's my life and soo proud of him. I know I have to be extra patient with kids, I know they need be discipline but in nice way not harm or scare them, and doing it consistently to make them understand. I will try my best to the the best mother for him. I still have to learn a lot especially from himself to more understand him. I dont like other people shout at me so of course kids wouldn't like it either.

children are mirror of the adult behaviour.if u shout at them they too will get more stubborn.for they would imitate whatever happens in their surrounding.if they are told what is wrong and shown the right way instead ,would help them understand the things expected of them better than shoutings.it confuses them and in return they would rebel.

Hi Bamrahkirtii, The use of "just a glance" and the child knows is called "RESPECT", I was raised this way...(I was adopted by older parents at the young age of 6 months). I am 56 years old now and sometimes I too need only to look at my daughters if they are out of line and they immediately know and they stop the behavior and this has been since they were toddlers, today they are 34 and 19 and they actually know when they have crossed a line. Another thing is that I found that when you yell at children or teens and adults as well, they don't really hear you...so it's better to talk in a normal tone than to yell. And of course, to answer your question, yes, I most certainly agree that rude behavior by parents contributes to the rudeness of children's behavior. ~G~

Treated like God? I'm sorry, but I am not about to worship my child and bring tithes to her like I do in church every chance I go. Kids are stubborn just like adults are stubborn: Because they can be. Worshipping your child or treating htem lke a god is not the way to raise healthy children.

Yes I think shouting at children makes them stubborn. I remember when I was younger when my mum shouted at me and it would make me want to behave more bad. When she shouted at me it would make me angry so I would refuse to listen to her. So i do agree that shouting at children does make them stubborn.

Yes,shouting at children makes them stubborn.Although i am not aware of feng shui concept of children becoming stubborn but i have seen those who are stubborn and at times exhibit wild behaviour which may be the result of shoutings and word abuse which they received in their childhood.Parents play a key role in character build up of their kids.Children who are treated with gentle words learn to be gentle enough but those treated with shoutings will grow up as uncivilized individuals and will not learn the importance of gentleness.Not just these,over the years they fail to recognise their parents affection and care but only feel the opposite,and some may become arrogant.There are also cases where in child goes in a state of depression and likes to stay alone away from parents.

I dunno, but I do think stubborn people are born of, wanting to defy those that oppress them, so if you oppress someone with shouting then you will get back stubborn shouting.

I strongly believe that shouting at children or anyone doesn't help. If a child is shouted at too much they start to turn off and will ignore anything that is said to them. If a parent wishes to have polite and nice children they should treat them with respect, Parents who are nasty and rude to their children will get nasty and rude children a good percentage of the time. I always make eye contact with my children and they know that i mean it when i ask them to do something, staying calm is always the best way to deal with any situation.

Hi bamrahkirti, I am belief that you are tightly hold with your religious. Children are special gift from God. Just sharing with you, what is the first thing the nurse or doctor did when baby birth? They knock the back body of this baby to make sure the baby cry. This action to make sure blood circulation pump to whole body. This is similar thing must been practiced. Is it enough for that nurse or doctor to knock twice or more? The answer is not necessary. This is same, shouting to children. This action to give knowledgeable to that children. Fact, children are rapidly learn compared to adult and old. With that shout will remind that children to behave well. Effect they understand by your glance. If too much shouting, high probability lead to bad behavior. Regards. C.M

Definitely.I wholeheartedly agree that children must be treated like God and we must shower the maximum possible kindness on them because they do not ask to be born in this world.Discipline must be gently instilled without their being even aware of it.Only when parents do not devote time and attention to them , the chidren crave atttention and try to distract them with their indiscipline.WHen they are given much attention , they would not feel like being rebellious.It is the behaviour of parents that causes good or bad behaviour of children.

You are absolutely right. Shouting is a sort of anti-climax. You can't expect every child to behave in the same way as you like just by shouting at him. Shouting drains you of your energy but does no good to the child. This is what I believe in personally. If your child does not listen - which anyways most children do - , then it is the responsibility of the parents to show him the way and guide him. There are some kids who don't listen when spoken in a soft voice. So, shouting at them is necessary. But if the child is crossing the limits of not listening, then something should be done very seriously. But, I personally think that it is a really difficult art called parenting.

i agree with you, but sometimes when children gets so naughty, parents can't control themselves to be shouting at them. by the way, thank you for the information you've given to us, that will helps us a guide to parents like me, because i do shout at my kids too especially when i am not in the mood and the two of them fights a lot...

Shouting at kids isn't a nice thing to do. At the very least talking is better. That's when you as a parent are able to explain things better by talking it out so that the child can understand why certain behaviors are intolerable. But as humans we tend to forget and as a parent I have shouted at my child for not taking into consideration what was talked about earlier, then would get frustrated because when after we did talk it over, the issue keeps coming up on the fourth and fifth time around by then I'm now through talking. Its a natural reaction, a human emotion, but nothing good comes out of shouting. Children must understand boundaries and intolerance or else their in trouble and sent off to time-out where they're summoned to think about the action.