How can you tell that your boyfriend is cheating on you

Philippines
October 28, 2009 10:14am CST
I have a friend who's boyfriend was once head over heels on her. This boyfriend of hers was so kind, thoughtfull, loving etc. all the best traits you name it, were on this guy. But then, to my dismay, my friend came rushing to me one day crying. She said her boyfriend had cheated on her.I was really shocked to hear that coz almost everyday they were together so how come this thing happened? She too was shocked coz she never noticed anything different from him. Are guys really that good in deceiving? So how can you really tell if your boyfriend is already starting to cheat on you?
2 people like this
16 responses
@etioewe (143)
• Mexico
28 Oct 09
Well from my own point of view, it´s sometimes difficult to know when your boyfriend is cheating on you, depending on the person you are dealing with.Some people are really smart and you can´t study nor read their actions especially when you are in love with them, well this also applies to girlfriends too, not only boyfriends cheats, but the thing is we should just learn to be careful so we don´t get heartbroken often because it might cause a personal decision not to love again. But also I would say there is no need trying to know when you boyfriend or girlfriend is cheating on you because this might give you an unhappy state all time, if you are a lucky one day the truth will come out and it will be to your advantage. Humans are in perfect, and these days it´s quite difficult to find someone who will love completely although there are poeple but few. It takes grace to find them. Please just live life and don´t worry too much about knowing if your boyfriend is cheating on you and try not to expect too much in a relationship so you don´t get heart broke constantly. This is my view although there are other views that can help.
• Philippines
29 Oct 09
Well, it's really a risk we have to take in loving so we should be very careful in choosing our partners.Don't rush into a relationship right away.Don't just use your heart but also your brain.
@etioewe (143)
• Mexico
29 Oct 09
you are right santos we should not rush into any relationship just because we feel something sweet,we should actually use our brains not the flow of the heart.
@magic9 (981)
• China
30 Oct 09
There are many ways to find out a man's lies ; but there are more ways if a man want to cheat. I always think that men are smarter than woman. When in love, you can always find MORE silly girls than boys. Let's name a few tricks here; If your boy turns off his cellphone very oddly, or pretends that he doesn't hear the phone in a party or noisy place, that might be Trick ONE. When running into some acquantices, he doesn't introduce you to them formally, this is a good signal that he doesn't want to make it known that you are his girlfriend.
• Philippines
17 Nov 09
Yes, definitely. Thanks for responding. Have a nice day!
@tatiana07 (498)
• Philippines
29 Oct 09
i always trust my instinct when it comes to that. womens instinct is the best way to know if your partner is cheating on you. lol. guys know how to keep secret when it comes to cheating, so girls should be more cautious and vigilant. watch carefully the actions of your partner. if they're doing something wrong you can see it in their actions.so you have to activate your instinct always. (",) happy mylotting!
• Philippines
17 Nov 09
Yes, you're right. Happy mylotting too!
• United States
29 Oct 09
Although a BR has been picked I feel that in my honest opinion there are always some signs when it comes to someone cheating. For one thing if they turn off their phones and become not available so to speak that can be one sign. Another sign in my opinion would be the fact that you kinda have a feeling in your gut. For a woman I see it as a intuition thing. I hope this helps answer your question and happy mylotting to you.
• Philippines
17 Nov 09
Yes, I agree with you. Happy mylotting too!
• Philippines
29 Oct 09
I have had the same experience. My ex-boyfriend seemed like the perfect guy. He was sweet and affectionate and I was like a princess when I was with him. We were together every single day so when he finally told me that he got another girl pregnant, it was a shock to me. I guess some may think that I was naive to not have seen the signs but it is sometimes hard to spot a cheater. Some of them are just really good at it. But i guess if I had paid more attention, it would have boiled over sooner.
• Philippines
17 Nov 09
I'm so sorry to hear that. Thanks for sharing us your experience. Have a nice day!
@junmae (1592)
• Philippines
29 Oct 09
I also have a friend who are have the same situation like your friend. Her boyfriend is very nice and a total gentleman and none of us expect that she also have a girlfriend. That man can manipulate a woman so easy, he can make any woman fall in love with him easily. We didnt know that he is a cheater until my friend saw him with other girl. He is the one who broke up with my friend when she knew it. So I can say that no matter what how nice or kind the man is, he can probably became a cheater soon.
• Philippines
17 Nov 09
Yes, I agree with you. Thanks for responding!
@lelin1123 (15643)
• Puerto Rico
29 Oct 09
There are so many clues. I think you can tell when they start taking extra care of themselves such as exercising, dressing a little different (for the better). Not keeping previous planned dates. Not being interested in the bedroom with you. Also when you start catching him in lies. I think men don't really alway do a good job of covering it up. I think women are better at this then men. Then again I think most women are better at everything then a man.
• Philippines
17 Nov 09
Thanks for your tips. Well, if you think that women are better than men in those aspects, it's your opinion and I respect it. Have a nice day!
• United States
29 Oct 09
It could also be in that the signs were in fact there with your female friend, but she chose to be in denial about the signs. It can be difficult, but also keep in mind people need to have relationships where they live "in the real world" instead of too much of a "fantasy" type relationship. In the beginning, that does happen quite a bit with that "Nothing can go wrong" but if you are with someone long enough, reality sets in and the "Newness" wears off. At that point in time, if it is meant to be, you will be able to be with that person and still in love with them even though you are "used" to each other.
• Philippines
17 Nov 09
Yes, I agree with you. That's very true. Thanks for responding. Have a nice day!
@doryvien (2293)
• United States
29 Oct 09
Hi Santos_mlirs, I can relate to your friend, it happened to me too, when I was younger. My friends said I was lucky to have myy boyfriend as he had the best traits any good girl can ever ask for, and I believed indeed I was. We were always together and I didn't see/feel any change in him. One day, he dropped the bomb. He delivered the infamous "it's not you, it's me who has the problem" break up line that ended a 3-year relationship. He found another girl.
• Philippines
17 Nov 09
I am so sorry to hear that. I guess it's not your loss. It's his. Thanks for sharing your experience.
@laydee (12813)
• Philippines
29 Oct 09
This has happened to me twice, of both times I caught him. I caught him because I refused to go on routine. Meaning, I would divert my routine suddenly. When there's a routine, like what time to talk to meet to go somewhere, he would find where to schedule his extra affairs. But still, there's no perfect formula for this one. One must always be on his/her toes in any relationship. It doesn't mean that we shouldn't trust the person we're with, but perhaps it's best if we don't expect too much so as to minimize the hurt when it happens. I'm sad for your friend, but really perhaps there are things she missed or signs she ignored. Or perhaps the man needed something she couldn't give. Remember that in boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, it's a test area if your relationship could go well beyond marriage. Which is why, it's not a good idea to plant your roots at this moment. Study him/her, and try to see if you could be with her/him for life. If it fails, and you've done everything you could and you have no regrets. Then let go. It's hurting but it just means you're not meant for each other.
• Philippines
17 Nov 09
Yes, I agree with you. Don't expect too much in a relationship is a great idea. Thanks for responding! Have a nice day ahead!
29 Oct 09
oh its so sad to hear that. now i started thinking what if my boyfriend is doing that too. well the best thing to know find out is trap your boyfriend like give him a surprise visit.
• Philippines
17 Nov 09
Well, seems like a good idea. Have a nice day!
29 Oct 09
Sometimes your another half would choose to lie to you because he/she doesn't want to heart, normally,these lies are not disaster, just something could be say or not. As a guy,i dont wish my gf cheats on me.No matter good or bad thing,I wish her to tell me the truth and i am willing to share or suffer with her. If you cheat on him with something unimportant,keep this secret. If you found your bf cheating on you,and he does this is just to protect you,you'd better forgive him,If he cheats on you for his big mistake,you may communicate with him and find out why he does that. Forgive him 1st,2nd,not 3rd.
• Philippines
29 Oct 09
Forgiving and giving a second chance to the person who cheated on you has also some advantages and somehow it will make the relationship stronger. The couple will be more aware and attentive to each other's feelings.They will be more considerate of each other because of what had happened. They will realize the importance and how much they love one another. So if you really love the person and he appears to be sincere in what he is saying, give that person a second chance. But of course after that chance you had given him and he repeats it again, well better say goodbye to him and move on. He's not worth crying for.
@sid556 (31003)
• United States
29 Oct 09
You have to go with your heart. sometimes there is no way of knowing. Some people are just very decietful and good at it. Also sometimes people talk and create rumors that have no truth at all. Is your friend really sure that her friend isn't the victim of stupid and vicious gossip? Did her boyfriend admit to cheating? It does happen. Her best bet is to chalk it up to the values of that person and move on. He is not worth her time. She should not even worry about the why but only that he did it and move on....no excuses.
• Philippines
29 Oct 09
My friend had caught her boyfriend in the act of doing it so there's no more excuse of denying it. In fact her boyfriend already admitted to the crime he committed.Right now, she is very upset about it and doesn't know what to do so here I am always on her side. Anyway what are friends for?
@olepmis (843)
• Philippines
28 Oct 09
There are guys who are quite good in hiding their secrets to their girlfriends. One can notice if the boyfriend is cheating her when her bf is starting to reason out or showing more attention to her gf.
• Philippines
17 Nov 09
Yes, you said it right. Thanks for responding!
• United States
28 Oct 09
I know that in one of my past relationships I was cheated on. In my opinion, I was just ignoring the signs. He was actually accusing me of cheating which is the first sign of a guilty heart. However, this is not the case with all guys. In your friend's case, there have not been any signs. Not only guys, but people in general are sometimes really good at hiding infidelity.
• Philippines
1 Nov 09
Yes, that's very true. some people are really good in hiding infidelity.So we all have to be alert of the signs. In that way, we will be able to do something about it before it run out of hand.
• Philippines
28 Oct 09
May be your friend is too confident... as you said the guy was head over heals in love with her... And she is aware of that, which is why (maybe) she somehow ignored the signs of cheating. Also on the other hand, some guys are just really good in hiding... Sometimes you would feel that the guy was becoming too jealous because he is starting to accuse you of the things he is doing. He will make a way to twist the situation and make you appear guilty.