What's your view on parenting today?

@dloveli (4369)
United States
November 8, 2009 6:05pm CST
When I was growing up I had to behave. That meant when we went into public I was to stand beside my parents and that was that. As I got older, I had to be home by 8:30 everynight. Even the night before I graduated high school. As I work in the customer service field, I am seeing parents becoming more and more younger than the year before. I dont understand it. WHY? Why would they want to? My oldest daughter went thru the phase of I want a baby. If I had a baby it would always be dressed so cute. That's all I heard. Thankfully, it wore off. She took care of her friends baby and realized that you have to have money to make them look cute. Parents are responsible for their children. Not grandparents. Im sorry I think new parents these days havent a clue. NOT all! Just some. ANd it really annoys me that we have to pick up the peices. Parenting isnt as important as it was when I was growing up. My mom didnt want me on the streets. Now the parents are using the "Im not going to be so strict as my parents were" theory. They let their kids run wild and run amuck on society. If you have a child, it's your responsibility.Children are not a just a deduction or income credit. Bottom line! Take care of them. Most importantly, if you having difficulty taking care of one, DONT HAVE ANOTHER! What's your view on parenting?
5 people like this
14 responses
@MsTickle (24983)
• Australia
11 Nov 09
I'm the same as you. Parenting is a huge responsibility that needs planning and communication between 2 people. Single parenting is really hard because the adult's needs are not being met. It's the parents responsibility to set limits and teach their children life skills. Gosh, there is so much a parent needs to do and it all costs a lot of money. I wish there could be more education along these lines.
1 person likes this
@dloveli (4369)
• United States
11 Nov 09
It sounds so simple when you read it. I have met so many women who think that having a baby and going on welfare is the answer. ITs hard enough to have a child when you plan it and are financially stable. When you are young, single, and have no financial nest egg its almost impossible. Then you add welfare to the equation. Its supposed to help you until you get prepared. Now a days its part of the plan. In our state, they have put a 24 month limit on it. Its up to us a parents to teach our teens that babies arent everything. If they dont feel love, they'll look to get it somewhere. I kept this idea close to my heart and head as my daughters grow. I love them sooooo much. I cant imagine them feeling unloved. I didnt get that from my dad so I make sure they know it from me. IF everyone gets the love they need, I bet pregnancy will go down among young people.BUT Im sure you already knew that. dl
• Philippines
9 Nov 09
Parents of today are now more involved with their children.
1 person likes this
@dloveli (4369)
• United States
9 Nov 09
I think that it all depends on how much they are involved. What bothers me is the fact that parents try so hard to be COOL in their children's eyes. I think that someone if someone has to be the bad guy, I'd rather it be me. My children are my creation. I want the world to see two educated, beautiful, polite, and full of energy and hope. Friends come and go. Parents are forever. dl
• India
9 Nov 09
You're right, parenting AND kids are no longer have the same values. I have seen small kids about 7 - 11 years of age being really rude to their parents and even hitting them. And the parents say nothing to them! I was amazed. I suppose it's a different era and therefore with different values. TV and computer games have taken over healthy outdoor activities -- for most kids. And they're growing up faster with access to more information on all sorts of things. All we can do as parents is instill some of the good values in our kids and hope they get it.
1 person likes this
@dloveli (4369)
• United States
9 Nov 09
You know what it is? Its the fact that school and the police have joined together to try to stop the violence, child abuse, etc. What happened is that the school has told the children that it's not okay for your parents to hit you, punish you in certain ways, etc. So the children have realized that they can use this to get what they want. If you hit me, I will call 911. If you send me to bed without supper, I will call 911. A few parents said call.( That's what I would've done). When they did the courts stepped in and told the parents that they cant punish their children. Now we have parents that are scared of losing their babies. Children that have gained a great amount of power. You can figure out the rest. Kids ran with it. They think its cool. Now we have the children who acted like this now having children. They dont care what the kids do. When I see children misbehaving, I want to spank them myself or atleast take awya there $500 game boys. Priorities are way out of whack. All we can do is raise our own children the way they should be.Happy MyLotting dl
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (101611)
• United States
9 Nov 09
I think it is becoming harder, and there are fewer good examples to follow. I agree some become parents way to young. Some people who do become young parents turn it around and do a good job. It is just that those misbehaving kids sure stand out for us to see everywhere. You do not really notice the good ones.
@dloveli (4369)
• United States
9 Nov 09
Well said Gerty! Once again you have hit the nail right on the head! You understand exactly what the issue is. Im impressed. If only the parents that need help parenting would understand.... If only. It is true that we dont notice the well behaved child. Its just the ones that are not listening. The sad part is that some of these children, a great deal of them, will end up in jail or pregnant with their own bundle of trouble. I am not trying to judge, I am just trying to talk about it so maybe, just maybe, someone might read the discussion and responses and talk to their children or grandchildren or themselves and realize that something isnt right in their parenting. Maybe they can change it in time to turn someones life around. Who knows. I can hope cant I? Thanks again Gerty. It's good to hear from you. I have been wondering where you were. I like your discussions. Thanks dl
1 person likes this
@niara25 (148)
• United States
19 Dec 09
Is there really such a word now? It that a valid word in our society at this point in time? Are there any parents left? Right now all I see are kids having kids and dumping them on grandparents, aunts and uncles. They're taking that "whole village to raise a child" thing to the max here. These people don't have a clue as to what it is to be a parent. I haven't given birth (can't), but I did have custody of my niece and nephew for a number of years. It wasn't hard, but it wasn't a cake walk either. They respect me more than they do their donor(birth mother) and they're 20 and 17. When it comes to children, boundaries need to be set. When those boundaries are crossed, there needs to be repercussions for those violations. Strays are children without boundaries. They go and do as they please and the hell with everyone else.
@rosepedal64 (4192)
• United States
9 Nov 09
You have said nothing but the truth here dl Good job. I have seen parents that just get so excited when their 15 year old daughter comes in the door and says Im pregnant. What is their to be excited about. Doesn't that parent realize that they will be the one to raise that child. Plus look what that 15 year old daughter has done with her future. I think that parents need to be more strict. Ask all those questions and go check out all those places. So be it if the teen gets mad at you. They will stay mad for a little while and then be all happy with you again. Parents put the foot down, it will worth it in the long run.
@spalladino (17925)
• United States
9 Nov 09
My daughters used to tell me that I was ruining their lives allll the time because I wouldn't let them go just anywhere with just anyone. Somehow they managed to survive though. My youngest went to high school down here in Florida and she had the coolest assignment one year...she became the mother of an electronic baby doll. This doll cried when it needed attention and it didn't stop until you did the "right" thing...feed it, change it, rock it, etc. It had a timer and she was graded on her response time. She had this doll for 3 days. It kept her up one night, it got her thrown out of a class, it made her rock it for half an hour the second evening while she was trying to do Myspace. She couldn't wait to get rid of this kid and said afterwards that she'll never have a baby!
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (101611)
• United States
9 Nov 09
Yep, the Baby Wait Awhile is a cool thing. Before that they had to take care of a five pound sack of flour, or an egg. The doll is more real.
• United States
9 Nov 09
Oh yes I forgot about the schools doing that now. I think the baby doll deal is a great way to stop some of this nonsense pregnancy in teen girls. I hope that you are having a great day my friend. Keep smiling.
@spalladino (17925)
• United States
9 Nov 09
I agree that many of today's parents are slacking off when it comes to actually parenting their child. I've also noticed that it's become more difficult to be a parent. Last year my son-in-law received a phone call from my oldest grandson's teacher because he told the teacher that his father would "kill" him if she sent another note home about his behavior. My son-in-law assured her that he would not kill the boy and that he was not abusive in any way but the call spooked both him and my daughter. So, they told my 8 year old grandson that they weren't going to whip him anymore....and he instantly became a smart mouth! Two days later my daughter was complaining to me on the phone about how he wouldn't listen to her so I told her to bring himm over...I live nextdoor. I was sitting at the table when they walked in, writing a letter to his teacher, telling her how disrespectful he had become since her phone call and how he was taking advantage of his parents and refusing to do his chores. He got very upset and promised to be good if I threw the letter away. I agreed but I promised to write another one without warning him if he started acting like a brat again. Parents have to be attentive and creative. I never used the television as a babysitter and always gave, and continue to give, my children my full attention when they want it even though they are all grown now. I do the same with my grandchildren. I wish more parents took the time to actually raise their children.
• United States
9 Nov 09
Hi spalladino I like the way you think. I will agree, with the todays kids you have to be more creative then they are. Find their weaks spots when it comes to displine and see if the parent isn't the one who wins.
@spalladino (17925)
• United States
9 Nov 09
Thanks rosepedal! I spent years dealing with younger siblings who I wasn't allowed to beat up so I had plenty of experience when I became a mother. Being a grandmother is a lot more fun though.
• Canada
21 Dec 09
I could not agree more. Kids are running wild, and it's driving me crazy. Their behaviour is horrid, and such behaviour would not have been accepted of me when I was their age. My husband is a great deal older than I am, and raised 10 kids (6 bio, 4 adopted) but even with the generational difference, we both agree that parents today are not as responsible for their children as they should be.
• Philippines
15 Nov 09
parenting is no easy task. it takes so much patience and the parents who are rearing their child will have to be creative to find ways to deal with whatever demands and problems may there be at hand anytime arising from situations involving the child. i agree with you that at this day and age, having a child is already far too many to take care of. rearing a child has become so very a heavy task. problems are just so complicated. i can still recall that raising children used to be so easy. all the people around were cheerful and helpful. nowadays, this is no longer true at all. anyone can rob us of our child if we are not mindful enough.
• Philippines
14 Nov 09
Parenting is the hardest job I ever imagine. Because you have no rest there. From toddler to seven years old, you take care of your child, even if they became teener you are there, even if they grow older and live separate to you have their family of their own, you are still a parent until you are alive. Parenting is the most important job a person can do. What is the reason, because you are taking care of a child, you are there for their guidance, safety and protection, you are there first education, first friend, first enemy and first problems. Children depend on their parents. It is good that they are friends but they have to guarantee that their child will still know their boundaries until they reach the right age. A child must follow what their parents advice them much more when they are young. A parents must be a good leader therefore. A parents should responsible and set the right example so that they child will look up to them. There is a truth behind the believe, that I will never do what my parents done to me before, ok fine, you have that believe, but still be RESPONSIBLE.
• United States
9 Nov 09
i think in some cases the kids get away with a lot more because it seems like you can't hardly punish them any more and they know it.there's so many crazy laws in place now that there weren't before. i know i got spanked when i was a kid,and i didn't grow up to be a serial killer. it happened,i got over it,i moved on.most times i deserved it anyway. i can't believe the mouths on some kids nowadays.you wouldn't DARE tell an adult "you're gonna get me this now,i WANT it" when i was growing up. or ask for gifts over $40 bucks for christmas.
• United States
9 Nov 09
Admittedly, I am not what you would call a kid person. I like children...they are adorable, fun, and their innocence and honesty is beautiful. However, I am not the woman who goes all oooh-aaahhh baby talk crazy when a baby is nearby either. Nor do I feel the need to hold every baby that comes within 10 feet me. I always joke that somehow I just wasn't born with that built in instant mother gene. lol My mom have had this discussion about children and parenting often. And though I don't have any children of my own, and I'm not sure yet if I will ever have them, I do still have opinions on the subject of parenting. When I was growing up, I thought my mom raised me very strictly. What I thought at the time as overly strict, I now realize was exactly way you would expect a parent to raise a child. I was expected to behave and do as I was told when I was told, no back-talking, no saying 'no' EVER...because as my mom would put it "I'M the parent here, not YOU". lol. I was taught to always respect your parents and everyone else too, and always mind your manners (please, thank you, excuse me, etc). When I was young I had to be home at dusk or before the street lights came on, I had a strict bed time and there was no amount of crying or trying to negotiate that would change it. When I was older I had an early curfew and still had a bed time...which I loathed, but again, there was no changing it. My mom knew ALL of my business and all of my tricks and never once did she just let something slide. To her, there was no such thing as just giving up, or saying it was easier to just let me do what I wanted. I started detasseling when I was 14 and the day I turned 16, literally on my birthday, I went out and got a real job and started working. From that day on I was expected to pay all of my own bills and get a checking account, so I could learn to be responsible and take care of myself and learn to budget, so I would know how to be a functioning adult when I moved out on my own. My mom was always there to help me learn and teaching me how to be a responsible person, a respectful person, and instilling values in me so I would grow up to be good-hearted and caring and understand the value of doing for other and not just myself. For all the times I swore my mother was too strict and unreasonable, I love her for everything she did while I was growing up. No matter the arguements or the problems, she always made sure I knew I was loved and she would be there if ever I needed anything..and she always has been. I think the biggest problem today is that so many parents don't take the time to actually raise their children. Sure, they have them, they feed them, provide them shelter and clothes, and sometimes they provide them anything their hearts desire, and of course they love them. But there is more to parenting that just providing for your child. You have to RAISE your children, you have to TEACH them. How else are they supposed to learn and grow into the wonderful adults we want them to be? Yes, it is hard and takes a lot of work, but they really will thank you in the long run. I know I'm grateful for everything my mom taught me and everything she did while I was growing up, no matter how much I despised it at the time. People just need to take the time and realize once you have a child, it is about that child now and not all about you anymore.
@derek_a (10902)
9 Nov 09
It seems to me that there is a lot of control over what punishment parents can give their children and I've heard many kids talking to their parents with no respect at all. And they also talk to other adults in the same way. I got the occasional smack when I was a kid and it taught me how to behave. Now the opinion is that smacking will harm children. All I can say that I am not harmed in any way at all, and I had some hard smacks occasionally, because I was no angel. I was still naughty, but careful not to get caught. As I grew older I could find no point in continuing to be naughty and just naturally stopped it. I read in the newspaper only today that a woman in our country has been reported to the local council, and held on record not because she hit her children but because she was overheard threatening to hit them if they did not behave! My mother used to threaten us quite a lot, but she was a wonderful mother who loved us and cared for us. She rarely carried out her threats, but we knew that we have better not push her too far. Now maybe some "expert" will tell me that I am damaged.. - Derek
@SomeCowgirl (32270)
• United States
9 Nov 09
There does seem to be me to many mothers and fathers who do not care much for their children, or let them do as they wish. It's sad to hear about, especially when situations escalate and we only hear about the bad things that happen, and by the time that bad things happen, it's either too late, or well I guess that's it... it's just too late. People should definitely consider everything there is to consider about parenthood before making that step!