Love life

Philippines
November 8, 2009 7:49pm CST
I am a member of a Full Gospel Christian Church. Our church has that standards like leaders should not have an affair with an unbeliever or those who aren't from a Full Gospel Christian Church. I remember when I was confronted by our Pastor about my relationship. He had been attending into our Church for almost a year but still I was questioned about his faith. Our pastor asked me if he is really a Born Again Christian. I don't wanna rush things regarding the conversion of my boyfriend from being a Catholic to becoming a member of our church. I know that It would take time for him to adjust. Does our Pastor really need to remind us always that we need to choose a partner who is a rooted Christian? Why he is always questioning the spiritual state of my boyfriend? It's not just about faith in the end but about love too.
4 people like this
12 responses
@rjvb26 (2518)
• Philippines
9 Nov 09
HI! Fiona, Mabuhay! I cant think much right now cause i have dengue, but i will still try to give you a good response. You know that is the problem with most of religions, but for us catholic it is not, no matter what religion you are or no matter who you are believing with, what important is that you and your partner love each other. Have you even asked your pastor, Does he even know what love is? Is it really the doings of a Pastor to question the religion of your love one? What if he is in your position? A true and real pastor teaches good things, they must not teach people of their religion to be mean with other religions or to force a person to shift religions. I know it's their mission to attract members of your religion, but the word is "attract" not force. Humans have freewill, he also do have. Does he even know the meaning of freewill? Catholic and Christians are not that too far religions, they both believe in God. God's top rules are to love others no matter what nationality, race, nor religion and love oneself. God also gave us freewill. Questioning ones religion is like questioning owns religion. What if he will be the one to be questioned? I know some Pastors too, but they are way too different from your Pastor. It is not the way it should. I don't want to be mean but, you are beautiful maybe he also have interest in you that is why he is being like that? Let's say he told you, you are like a daughter? A daughter must not treated to be like that. You know what i see in your case? Your pastor is trying to take control of you. Controlling others, depicts the freewill and the human rights of a people, do you think it is a pastor doings? I am sure you don not want to be controlled by others, nor others to decide for your future. You are the only one who can decide for your future not others, because it is yourself. So that in the end there is no one to blame and there are no regrets. It will be still your last decision about that. I just want you to open your mind and be enlighten on what the real situation is. Besides you and your bf love each other so much right? So religion should not be a burden, but it must be the one to support your faith to each other. Your pastor must teach how to love others no matter what religion, not to question others. Even Muslims, and other religions do teach their people to love others no matter what religion. Cause we all believe in one Supreme Being. Love is uncontrollable by you, what more others to control your feelings? I am sure your Pastor doesn't want to be controlled too right? Because he knows hes thing, and it's the same to you, you know your thing do it. Does your pastor knows how to be a real Pastor? He must support you instead of destroying your future. I have questions for you. What if the boy friend that you loved so much! Leaved you because of that teachings by your pastor? Can you blame your Pastor? Can you blame your religion for that? Of course you can't, because whatever other people's advice to you, still you are the last one to decide for your self. In the end you will be the looser not your Pastor. You have the lost. Your Pastor remains a Pastor and you became a looser. If you will listen to what other people will say to you. I am not saying that your Pastor is bad, even your religion cause even do Priest commit mistakes, just be what you are and follow what your heart is saying so there will be no regrets and blaming. Just be yourself and decide for your self. Think before you decide and decide before anything bad happens. No matter what the result will be, just be ready, strong and and be sure you will have no regrets.
• United States
9 Nov 09
perfect answer !!
• Philippines
9 Nov 09
Thanks for that very detailed response. I don't have any hard feelings for our Pastor. I admire him because he is really an upright man. I am just not that in favor of some of the rules he is imposing. I know I am not the only one affected with this. I just hope things will get better soon.
@rjvb26 (2518)
• Philippines
9 Nov 09
Thanks for that, hehe, anyway gurl, i also do not have grudges on your pastor it's just that i dont want things to happen that way.
@levite (1062)
• Philippines
9 Nov 09
Both faith and love in a relationship must be included. Anyway, I would ask you an honest question: Are you really a Christian or are you just a member of Full Gospel Church as you have said because there is really a difference between a Christian and just a member of the church. The former is committed to Christ and obeys God's commands while the latter just attends church services merely for the sake of belonging or being part of a "Christian group". If you're just a member of your church, there's really a reason to disobey your church stand because you are not committed and you're free to decide what you want. But if you're really a Christian, there's wisdom behind your church stand because they are only following Christ command in the bible. Your pastor is only concerned about your welfare and your future as well because you are also his responsibilty to God because you are a Christian, a follower of Christ and you attend to the church entrusted by God to your pastor. Christ command believers in the church to not unequally yoke with unbelievers (2 Cor 6:14-18). It is not your pastor's only stand but Christ Himself through His divine and inspired Word. Please read these verses. Let's see your situation if your bf would propose to you: if you would be married, what church, catholic or born again. What would be the faith of your children in the future. Is it okay to you if your children would be catholic? Your children would have confusion regarding your faith in the future. Lastly, if your bf really loves you why is it he cannot decide about his eternal destiny. If he can't decide about his relationship with God or he is not serious about being a Christian, how can he be serious with you regarding commitment especially marriage which is a lifetime commitment. Anyway true love comes from Christianity, it is a christian teaching and not a secular word or just an emotional outburst, it is a commitment. God bless and may God guide you in your wise decision. True love waits.
1 person likes this
@levite (1062)
• Philippines
12 Nov 09
I appreciate your comment too. God bless you.
• Philippines
12 Nov 09
I do admire this wisdom-filled response. This one is really sincere in helping you bbfiona with your problem. I had a classmate who is very intelligent and she once said that faith is a serious thing with regards to marriage. She preferred faith first before love though she knows the importance of the latter she thinks that she can teach her heart, anyway. God bless
@rsa101 (37958)
• Philippines
9 Nov 09
Wow your church is indeed strict in implementing their rules on their members. Well I think that Church although they are our guide as to what is supposed to be right and wrong. But I also think that it should not be to the point that they are the ones that control our lives and every personal choices we have are questioned already. I think the church should control you to a certain point in our lives. I think the fact that your BF has started attending your church is already trying to know your church already and your pastor should be happy about that. Having him join your church must be voluntary and should not be because you are a member there.
@rjvb26 (2518)
• Philippines
9 Nov 09
Yes i agree with you!
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
9 Nov 09
Your pastor has your best interest at heart. There have been cases of boys who pretended to join the church just to get the girl and then soon after they were married, the man found fault and left the church. Does your pastor have catechism or classes for those who want to join your church? If your boyfriend attends the classes and passes the tests, I am sure that your pastor would accept it, but he wants him to be a full member before you and your boyfriend get married. He does not want you to get married and a year later, your husband finds fault and decides not to go to church anymore or goes back to being a Roman Catholic.
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
10 Nov 09
That is for sure. I have a friend who married a man who was not a member of the church and then later became a member, but he gave up and joined a different church and took her with him. At least, they let the grandparents, his wife's parents see the grand children. But often that never happens. And they were going together for over a year before they married. i do hope Fiona's boyfriend has a true conversion and it is not just to get the girl of his dreams.
@lindiebiz (1006)
• Canada
9 Nov 09
I have heard of this preaching and in fact, it is written in the Bible that Christians should not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. The way I see these things is that these guidelines are made for our own good to help us not derail from our Christianity. Most people who are not Born Again don't place Christianity as a priority so they can do somethings that God would not like us to do, and we can easily be lured into sin if we spend a lot of time with them so somehow I think your Pastor is concerned about your welfare
@rjvb26 (2518)
• Philippines
9 Nov 09
I do not want to argue with you with what you know, but do not also tell us that Most people who are not born again don't place Christianity as priority, cause you are not sure with that, and also the points here is that no matter what religion, what important is we believe that there is one Supreme Being/God that guides us in our life and gives us the freewill do decide for our selves and not for others. It is not a good concern if it is, Because it's almost like he is controlling someones life in the name of Christianity and that is even not so good. Do you want others do decide for your self and future? Do you want others to control you? You not a machine right? we are humans. And can we live with our religion only? Without love? without freedom? OK! let us say that the pastor is only concerned for her good and also following the rules of their church, But how about the freewill that God gave us? I think, it is now being contradicted by the pastor, because the pastor is becoming too dominant that makes her not to practice her freewill which God gave us. Almost all of the religions teaches freewill, almost! and i am sure Born again religion is one of them, but why control someone? Is he against that teachings? Then why be a pastor of such, if he will not follow the teachings of a freewill. Anyway i admire you for being a transparent person and this makes the discussion very conversational.
@allknowing (130064)
• India
9 Nov 09
There was a word called 'pagon' in the catholic religion which has now been banned from being used which in other words tells us that those other than catholics are no more to be considered pagons. To each his own. Suffice it to say however we need to lead a good life and no religion teaches anyone to lead a life that can be considered sinful. It is the interpretation that sometimes goes to extremes.
@rjvb26 (2518)
• Philippines
9 Nov 09
And addition, it doesn't mean that if a person is not a born again Christian he will do bad things. Sometimes religion could hurt others feelings and that is bad. Don't you think? And it did not also mean that if you are a born again Christian you will no more do bad things because the priority of such religion is Christianity. We are only humans therefore we create mistakes. Have you seen a person who did not create mistakes?
@allknowing (130064)
• India
9 Nov 09
Your Pastor unfortunately is narrow minded. Putting people in straight jackets is now history. Worshiping God from a plane or base that is comfortable to an individual is vital for peace and happiness taking care ofcourse not to commit sins.
@rjvb26 (2518)
• Philippines
9 Nov 09
Your a very straight person and i admire you for that! I almost have stated that but i just controlled myself. LOL! Bravo very good response!
@Harley009 (1416)
• India
10 Nov 09
If you are really in a FULL GOSPEL church, there should not be man made laws like your church says. What the Christians are doing nowadays? just following the church, not the Bible. Do you think you really follow all gospels? Read them again and again after leaving what churches says. Then you will realize the truth. As a whole I don't find much difference full gospel or catholic church. Catholics got more saints and more books in Bible. Priest is a man by the way. Peace.
• United States
9 Nov 09
So.. is it okay to have an affair with someone in your church? I thought by principle there should not be "affairs" outside of the sanctity of marriage! I think it is difficult at best to marry or have "affairs" outside of your own denominaiton. But I don't think the pastor should worry as much about that as other more important things.
• Philippines
9 Nov 09
hello baby fiona, If there's one thing i can never replaced, it's my religion, I was born with it and will DIE with it. but i used to have this girl friend of mine, we loved each other, and one moment she asked me if she changed into a catholic, because of me. i told her NO, because you can have as many men, but never religion. i think for me, it's not the persons business to question the man's faith. Is he God? or something, well, he should asked him that himself instead of asking you. he might be attending your attending your church for a year but maybe it's because of you and not the religion. you should test him or something....
@danitykane (3183)
• Philippines
9 Nov 09
Hi baby, For me, loving a person includes accepting everything about him/her. His faith, religion and beliefs are important to me as well. As you said on your topic, your boyfriend spent a year attending your ministry knowing he is not a part of it in the beginning. Which means that he is already devoting his time and energy to know you spiritually. It is all about you and him. With your pastor still in question about his faith, I think it is not important. What important is the true meaning of your love for each other. I don't want to question your pastor because he has his own views and he is the one who see how well your boyfriend participate on the church. If you think he is important than anything in this world, then anything else don't matter at all. No one could let your love collide, either religion and culture. That what true love is.
@rjvb26 (2518)
• Philippines
9 Nov 09
You are right about that and i definitely agree with you!
• Philippines
9 Nov 09
Well, i dont think he has to remind you always. Beside what is wrong with falling in love with a person not a member of your church? Dont you think your pastor's rule is unchristian.? Sorry to say that but that is how i look at your pastor's belief. Besides what does he has to do with your lovelife.
• China
9 Nov 09
it is difficult to leave your zone because of complex relationship .your pastor is too troubling about your bf,if your bf doesn't mind it,you can ask him to jion in your church.