Namecalling in a relationship

@77klove (109)
United States
November 25, 2009 11:25pm CST
when your with someone...and a fight starts..no matter how big or how small...is name calling appropriate?..like c**t or fata** bi**h...even on small fights..but my question is...is name calling when verbally fighting about anything in a relationship appropriate when only one person is calling the names? or is it another form of abuse?...comments?..opinions?..
3 people like this
10 responses
@dpk262006 (55811)
• Delhi, India
26 Nov 09
Hi! I do not recommend name-calling, it is not less than verbal abuse and it looks very derogatory to me. Belittling your own partner is something very mean and disgusting. There should be some decency level, even if two are arguing or fighting over a matter. If one loses the decency level then the other partner would not show the same kind of respect to him/her in future. I would never call names of my partner, if I have a fight with her
1 person likes this
@77klove (109)
• United States
26 Nov 09
it truly is disgusting..it isnt right..thank you for your input
@dpk262006 (55811)
• Delhi, India
26 Nov 09
Yes, it brings bitterness in life.
@thea09 (18328)
• Greece
26 Nov 09
Hi klove, I've never indulged in it or had it happen. If a child is brought up with respect for others then it isn't a habit which is likely to develop as an adult. I've only ever been used to affectionate names being used. Certainly here everyone has names for people which don't get used in front of the person, but that's mainly for identification purposes as so many people have the same name, so they need an adjective or some such in front of their name otherwise everyone says 'which Nikos?'
1 person likes this
@77klove (109)
• United States
27 Nov 09
thank you
@thuynhu (663)
• United States
26 Nov 09
well i wouldn't say when my husband and i get in arguments that we're hurting each other in our name calling. we have a weird understand i guess you can say. we're not using any of the type of names that you have posted here. but i understand if he were to call me any of those names i would feel a kind of mental abuse. it would hurt me dearly for my husband to call me any of those names. i don't see such a need for those types of name calling. i think words are more harsh than people tend to think they are. i know the saying about sticks and stones but words may never hurt me is and understatement to me. cause more people get hurt with the words people say to one another. but that's just my opinion.
1 person likes this
@77klove (109)
• United States
26 Nov 09
i dont see the need for any women to be called those names either..
@Godmother (476)
• Indonesia
26 Nov 09
No, I do not approve of any kind of name calling when getting into a fight with anybody. When you start to call out such ugly words, I find you are not only angry but there is already a root of hatred and despise towards the other person. People who are used to those nasty words are usually also brought up in an abusive family. But once they get into a relationship with me, especially if he's to be my husband, then I'm sorry, but things has got to change. I will not degrade myself to that level, and if he's mature, then he will agree that people have to change for the better.
• Philippines
26 Nov 09
hey klove.. hmmm.. for me i think name calling is an abuse to your partner.. eventhough your mad, but when you love that person you wouldnt have the guts to call them names such as those.. its not nice.. moreover when couples fight it doesnt last very long since they both love each other and they cant take another moment fighting with each other... well yeah its an abuse coz if your partner doesnt retaliate when you call him/her names it means that he/she loves you and can tolerate everything that you say and just leave it.. :)
@77klove (109)
• United States
26 Nov 09
thank you...hopefully this will help future men/women to see that it is wrong
@calai618 (1781)
• Philippines
26 Nov 09
I don't think it will ever be appropriate. no one deserves to be called such "names". People may argue that it's out of rage or anger, but it's never right to call anyone such names, especially your loved one. It's hard to forget those terms when you're called such names, they decrease self-esteem and ruin relationships.
@77klove (109)
• United States
26 Nov 09
thank you..i thought the same..
@cream97 (29175)
• United States
27 Nov 09
Hi, 77klove! If this is a love or a friendly relationship it is verbal abuse. No one should have to be called mean and dirty names all of the time. It is not nice to say mean words or call others nasty names. It is very ignorant and childish.
• Jamaica
26 Nov 09
Name calling is another form of abuse and will never be appropriate. It shows lack of respect, immaturity and low emotional intelligence. Even when I am angry, I just don't call people names it a bad habit. Name calling is just plain awful behaviour and it can be easily adopted by children, so adults be careful and just desist from the name calling episodes.
• United States
26 Nov 09
When you're with someone, one person. Is comments appropriate? Like anything, when only one person is calling names, opinions?. A fight. No matter.
@hvedra (1623)
26 Nov 09
At best the person doing the name calling has communication issues and doesn't know how to express themselves without yelling and insults. They could be very defensive for some reason and it isn't good for them or the people around them. At worst they know exactly what they are doing and are using it to wear down the person they are yelling at by hurting and upsetting them - this would be truly abusive. Either way the person who cannot disagree without fighting and can't discuss things calmly is not fun to be around and ultimately it _becomes_ abuse even if they don't start out with that intent. They should get some help with managing their anger and learn how to communicate in a civilised way.