Family that never sees each other.

@cream97 (29176)
United States
December 8, 2009 3:57pm CST
I know that most of us have family that we see on a daily basis. And there are families that hardly get to see each other because of various reasons. It could be their work schedule that is very hectic, a sick family member that needs tending to, a lack of transportation, lack of time due to being busy at home or running errands. But what does it feel like to have a woman that has never seen her family since she was young. This woman is my mother-in-law. She says she has not seen her family in over 30+ years... Her family has never sent her a letter or anything. I know that her aunt calls from time to time. She has a brother that is still living. He also stays in New Jersey. And she told me that most of her family has died. She has nieces and nephews but I don't know how many. None of them have came to visit her at all. None of her family. Her mom died when she was younger. I find this to be strange. I mean, her husband family lives up state and he has seen many of them from time to time. Either they come to visit him or he goes to see them. He has sisters and brothers that live in the same state as he does, but just in another city. I don't understand why her family won't come to see her. They were supposed to come in 2006 but they never showed up. And her and her husband was supposed to visit her aunt in New Jersey in October. But that never happened either. I think that it is sad that she has such little family, but they never come to see her. My sister-in-law told me that the reason why they never come to see her mother is because of her daddy. From how her aunt feels about her husband is not too good. I asked my mother-in-law about that and she said that her aunt is not coming because of that reason. I don't know what to believe. I think that her aunt is not happy with the man that she has married, this is something that I can sense. It is sad that the family that raised her never comes to see her.
5 people like this
8 responses
@zed_k4 (17635)
• Singapore
9 Dec 09
From what I read, I think there has to be a major reason for it. If not, there wouldn't be a time when there could not be one moment her family members could not visit her at all. I don't know which side is the right one, but I think at least once, she would be able to see them; that would have been perfect. Sometimes, family issues are really complicated and sticky and it's sometimes a wonderment when we come across strangers outside and we don't know what they have to go through or have been through. I really hope your mother-in-law will be able to get her wish of seeing her family members at least once. Pity her, really. 30+ years is a real long time..
@cream97 (29176)
• United States
9 Dec 09
Hi, zed it is a really long time, I admit.
@zed_k4 (17635)
• Singapore
10 Dec 09
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29176)
• United States
11 Dec 09
@shobhan51 (376)
• Malaysia
21 Dec 09
Cream97, I remember you writing about your MIL and her peculiar habits. I have now come to understand that she is a very unhappy woman, lacking love from her immediate family. Her husband's family alone cannot be the substitute for the lacks in her own. She is an insecure woman, is what I feel. I admire you cream97, for trying to understand and help her. It's commendable the effort you are putting in to see her through. I am sure she is going to appreciate you for your kindness and fine thoughts.
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29176)
• United States
22 Dec 09
I hope so, shobhan. Sometimes, my mil can be very unappreciative when it comes to me looking out for her.
• Malaysia
22 Dec 09
Cream97, the good you do will be with you always. When we do good there are no conditions or strings attached. Your MIL may not understand your goodness now because she is hardened by her own experiences. Give her time to analyse herself and understand herself first. Probably one day, you might get a loving smile on her face. Keep being hopeful. You have nothing to lose. Good night dear.
• India
9 Dec 09
That's a real sad story. Feel sorry for your mother-in-law. I can't even imagine myself in her state because I'm very attached to my family. I wonder what could make a person so stubborn and what are they going to fetch at the end??? Cream, never let her feel that she has nobody, try to be of good comfort to her.
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29176)
• United States
9 Dec 09
Hi,, Rajit. I try my best to be. I really do. But sometimes my mil can be a true witch from Hades when she wants to be.
@riyasam (16582)
• India
9 Dec 09
yeah,there are such cases also,we,for one instance,stay with my in-laws though i know a lot of friends who are enstranged from their family because they married a person against their parents wishes.
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29176)
• United States
9 Dec 09
Hi, riyasam. I truly believe that that is what has happened. She married this man that her family never approved of. He is the type of man that likes to keep her at home while he stays out working all the time. That is why her family disapproves of him. He never fixes up their place of living so that people can come and visit them. He keeps the home basically raggedy looking. He is an Carpenter and he fixes up others peoples home. I wonder why he can't fox up his own home too. It is a shame that he has other peoples homes looking brand new while his home looks like a junk yard.
@Hatley (142945)
• Garden Grove, California
9 Dec 09
hi cream97 that is so sad,I wonder why her family has never made the effort to see her. I remember how my dad's brothers and sister all made an effort every couple of years at least to come and visit my dad and theylived in various states so they had to travel a bit. And there were letters occasinally and cards sometimes a phone call. Why cannot her brother at least get in touch with her? Has she done anything to alienate herself from them or is it just selfishness on their part? One wonders at something like that. It is something really sad and makes one wonder.Maybe its something to do with finances too.
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29176)
• United States
9 Dec 09
Yes, Hatley, it is something to wonder about. Someone isn't telling something here and that person would be my mother-in-law. With the little family that she has left they can at least try to see her.. It does not have to be every year. It can be every five years or something! It does not make any sense. Her youngest daughter tole me that her her own father has a lot to do with why her family never comes to see her, which is very sad..
• China
20 Dec 09
hi, This is a sad story.we hope to live together with the family,but,maybe we need to work in the other city.I haven't see my family for almost one year.I live in the South in China,it is very long way to go home.it is my dream to live with my family forever!
1 person likes this
@williamjisir (22909)
• China
20 Dec 09
Oh, I feel so bad that none of her family has ever come to see her, but hasn't she considered paying a visit to them? I would feel very sad if we never see each other for so many years, which is hard to imagine.
1 person likes this
• India
28 Dec 09
Hello my friend cream97 Ji, There may be 1001 reasons and excuses for not visiting family members,but the main raeson lies in 'will to visit'.Thereshould be utter desire to meet. If tehre is no will, such excuses narrated by you stands un-called for, and lame excuses. There was a time, I used to viist my friend's house by travelling more tahn over night journey with mu hubby and small children, but that gentleman never visits us. In 2009 alone we have travelled 2800 kms in train. We have keen desire to meet everyone and see if we can help anyone. Wishing you a very happy Chrismas and New Year-2010. May God bless You and have a great time.