Men who play Daddy to Other Womens Children and Abandon Their Own
By AngryMommy79
@AngryMommy79 (4)
South Africa
December 18, 2009 3:53am CST
My former partner and I planned a child together, but soon after I conceived of her, he became a different person. I got no love, care or support from him and two weeks into my daughter's life, I learned that he had been cheating on me since the first trimester of my pregnancy. We are no longer together and he is now openly dating this other woman. She is not at all attractive, is half his age and has a disabled son.
My daughter's father claims to love her, but makes no effort to see her or to even find out if she is well. I also had to get a court order against him for child support. On the other hand, he is lavishing all of his time, energy and money on this woman's offspring. She relishes in this fact and makes a point of advertising it to me, by sending me nasty messages on Facebook and by posting pictures of him entertaining and spoiling her child.
I need to understand how a man can plan a child and then abandon the woman he made pregnant? Why he would cheat with someone less attractive, who has "baggage"? Why he would abandon his own child for the child of another?
3 people like this
11 responses
@spice_r_do (37)
• Philippines
19 Dec 09
This is just another sad story... but I think life is a matter of acceptance considering all aspects in it. I believe people change and that what happened to your partner... Perhaps he has found some better compatibility with that woman that's why he chose to leave you and your child. When you did mistakes before... you are trying your best to achieve perfection with your current life and avoid doing the same mistakes again... and I believe your partner is doing it now.
@spice_r_do (37)
• Philippines
19 Dec 09
For sure your partner feels the pain when he left you and your child. Now, in the case of you doing the same thing leaving your child? Why would you leave her when in fact you have a great choice of bringing her in pursuit of your own happiness? It's a matter of having/chosing good choices... as long as you will not regret your own choice in the future and you know the negative(positive) possibilities about the CHOICE you made then grab it. I'm pretty sure your husband is enjoying now... he may look happy... but I believe someday when he grows older and older.... the idea/moment of leaving you and his child will constantly knocks in his heart & mind... and he will have again his CHOICES of what to do about it... surely that day... when it comes... you and your daughter will have brighter future... : )
@AngryMommy79 (4)
• South Africa
19 Dec 09
Okay, so here's a question: In pursuit of perfection in my own life, should I just leave my child on the pavement somewhere? How convenient that, by your reasoning, the man can just pretend that his own flesh and blood doesn't exist. It takes two to tango.
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
18 Dec 09
I can not answer that one for you and I am so sorry that this has happened to you
I also understand that you are very angry which I would be to specially with the way the other Woman is carrying on
I suggest you block her to stop contacting you on Face book as I would not have a Person like that on my List
I am not a Member at Facebook and never will be as this Site seems to cause so much grief to People with cases like this and others
You need to get her of your List so she can not contact you at all, also if I where you I would have a word with the Ex and tell him to get her of your Back and leave you alone
I wish I could give you more answers but I just can't, I do hope that he will realize that one Day his Daughter will be grown up or even old enough to notice things which will not be good for him at all
@AngryMommy79 (4)
• South Africa
18 Dec 09
Hi there - thank you for your response.
It's not that simple. She is not on my friend's list - she's just some random person whom he bought something from over the internet, so I don't know her. She uses fake profiles to try to access mine and sends emails to his sisters (who have aligned with me in the circumstances), wherein she says nasty things like "poor little, poor little daddyless baby...he will never choose that baby over my son...I have already taken care of that". I also realised that she was searching for and watching my profile. I put up a photo of my daughter with her dad and half an hour later she changed her profile pic to a photo of my daughter's father with her son! She also joins groups like "Feeling sorry for people who have to sleep with their lights on at night because they are all alone"!
This girl also uses her child's disability to gain sympathy from my ex and others. And inasmuch as I feel sorry for her that her son is disabled, it angers me that she uses him to manipulate - and then in circumstances where she is doing harm to an innocent little baby!
I did try to speak to my ex, but this girl has him so well and truly conned that he doesn't believe me. She covers all her tracks and when he checks up on her, then all looks perfectly acceptable on her end. I've started keeping proof of what she is doing, because he just rubbishes me when I complain to him.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (98866)
• India
18 Dec 09
AngryMummy, I too dont like such guys. 
. And all those who act goody goody while abandoning their own. But the nature of that girl is still worse. Why is she annoyed with you? Why is she trying to hurt you? It is possibly her insecurity that someday your husband will come to his senses. Or she might simply be perverted.
. And all those who act goody goody while abandoning their own. But the nature of that girl is still worse. Why is she annoyed with you? Why is she trying to hurt you? It is possibly her insecurity that someday your husband will come to his senses. Or she might simply be perverted. @ebuscat (5935)
• Philippines
19 Dec 09
For me it depends on the attitude of that man if they totally forget the happened then it is his choice but I think mostly a man don't gave the support to there child because we are in the society who full of bad attitude.
@Qtpienyouri (35)
• United States
20 Dec 09
I think this is terrible. How long were you guys togeather before your daughter was born? I think he needs to step up to the plate and be a Father. If he doesnt then he will be the one missing out. Dont think its hasnt crossed his mind what he is doing. If he deals with a woman that puts that much effort into trying to show him off than she has alot of growing up to do. Children are not toys and need attention from parents. Stick the child support to him. If he cant be there for her than at least finically he will. That doesnt make it ok, but you will have some help.
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
18 Dec 09
I really have no answers to any of your queries. You are very angry right now and rightly so and your every allegation comes across as truth…I too see no logic in abandoning the woman a person loves and not caring for a child they conceived together and moving on to love another woman with ‘baggage’
Only thing I can say is that life is not unfair and cruel at all times…you too will meet the man who will love you as you deserve and care for your daughter…maybe this was not the right guy!
And also, you’ll find a good many people with similar problems here on mylot, also a lot of friends with whom you can share your sorrows and feel better.
@maximax8 (31053)
• United Kingdom
18 Dec 09
I think that your former partner is horrible for cheating on you whilst you were pregnant with your daughter. It was a shame that since your little girl was just two weeks old he stopped supporting her. He sounds like a very nasty man. It is superb that he supports his girlfriend's disabled child. However he is wrong for not supporting your daughter. It is a shame that you had to go to court to get child support. One day his girlfriend will probably have enough of him. Good luck.
I have a baby girl aged 6 months, a toddler son aged two and a half and a teenage son aged fourteen years old. I am divorced.
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
18 Dec 09
He does sound like a piece of work. And so does his new girlfriend. I hope you aren't lowering yourself to taunting her back. If he doesn't want to be part of his daughter's life, you can't make him, and the best you can do is protect your daughter from any hurt that might come her way due to his behavior. Good luck.
@katie4720011 (218)
• United States
18 Dec 09
The guy sounds like a real Jerk. Sounds like you and your child are better off without him.
