Are you guilty of this?

Hi, jah. No, I have never wrote a note or anything like that. But, when I get mad at something, my grandmother would not let me go somewhere, I would say in my mind that when I ever would have kids, I would not keep them cooped up in the house. All of the girls that used to stay in this house, said this. We used to get so tired of being held down. We said it amongst ourselves. We never had the guts to say it to our grandmother. I have younger kids now. But of they get older, I will more than likely be particular about when and where they will be going. I may just be a little tad strict on them too. But not as strict as my grandmother was to us.

Oh yes..I think we all have somewhere along the line.But we grow up and then we realize that our parents had their reasons for not letting us do certain things and that they were in our best interest.

Well, first of all, I understood why my parents disallow me to do certain things, though I didn't agree with them. Also, I didn't have kids yet, so I just didn't dare to say I would let my kids do it. I have a son now, and he's only 10 months old, so it's hard to tell if I'll let him do whatever I disagreed with my parents.

I do not have my own kids yet, but I admit that I did have that kind of thinking before even though I know that parents would always want the best for their children. Luckily, I have my nephews and niece growing up around me and we are so close, so, I know how it feels to have my own kids even though in reality it's not the same as having my own children, but I still I know how we are very protective towards them. When my siblings and I disobeyed our parents when we were younger, my mom would always remind us, "wait till you have your own kids..."

I can say that when I have reached that stage in my life, but us of now, some of my peers are really guilty of that in their family now and the more they are over protective than what their parents raised them. IT is funny but true that all of us will undergo that experiences too in having a family of our own and when the child committed the same mistakes like his parents did, the only thing that his grandparents can tell is that because he came from you that is why he is same as you.

I can honestly say that yes I have said those words to my parents and I have stuck to my word. My son is a smart wonderful person and I would not change anything I did and allowed him to do in his growing years. The certain things my parents would not allow were pretty stupid things and made no sense to me why they were like that. I understand now, that they are just old fashioned and that is the way they were brought up. As I have told them before, this is a new day and age. I am more open to my son and learned him of things so he would not have to learn on the streets of some things that I was not taught. Little things like that make a big difference in life. I was always discouraged in my parents for boxing me in and not helping me through some things in life that I needed input on. Not to find out on the streets. To this day it is difficult for me to truly have an open relationship with my parents because of this. As for my relationship with my son, I can give him an inch and he wont want to take a mile. I do not regret any part of my motherhood raising him. I am a proud parent and sometimes you just have to let them try things out to find out... "wow, mom was right". , rather then saying "im right your wrong, and your not doing it because i said so". Children need more then that.

Sadly, I am guilty of this as well. I used to hate not having everything my way when I was a kid. On how my parents would let me finish all my schoolwork first before they let me out of the house to play. Now, I do the same thing with my children. And it has been a source of a lot of disagreements with my son. On how we couldn't arrange playdates on certain times and dates when his friends are available. Because I ask him to finish his schoolwork first.

I experienced those exact same thoughts related to staying out late at night. When I was a teenager, my curfew was 5pm. After that, I felt like I was in jail. The funny thing was that during those hours after school, I still managed to get into quite a bit of trouble. I was never in a car wreck or anything, because I wasn't out late with my friends drinking - I do have to say that I am thankful for that. My oldest son recently turned 13 though. I have several different rules that I have had to come up with to govern a variety of situations. For example, many of his friends live in our neighborhood, so I require him to check in IN THIS HOUSE (no phone calls) every hour - at that point, depending on who he is with or what they are doing, I will then either let him go hang out for another hour or tell him it is time to stay at home. The one set in stone rule is that he is to listen to me, and if I say he needs to stay home and he argues, not only does he not get to go hang out anymore that day, but he has to stay at home the next afternoon AND evening and help me with my daily chores. Needless to say, we have as good relationship as a mother and her teen son can have. He shows a great deal of respect for both me and his step-father, again as much as can be expected from a teenage boy. It is soooo hard being a parent!