Online lovers

@ellie26 (4128)
Malaysia
December 23, 2009 11:43am CST
"How do I say goodbye to someone I never really had? Why do my tears fall so endlessly for someone who was never really mine? Why is it I miss someone I was never really with? And why do I love someone whose love was never really mine?" Those words make me think about online dating/lovers. What will it bring to us? Meeting someone online, falling in love by mere looking at their pic, chatting with or without webcam and then missing him/her terribly without knowing whether we ever gonna meet them or will it just stay online? Some maybe lucky enough to meet in person or probably get married eventually, but what happen to those who cannot, will not meet in person? Is it worth all the emotional baggage?
2 people like this
13 responses
@simonelee (2718)
• China
24 Dec 09
To some people this kind of relationship won't last or impossible to happened. When love hits you, you have no escape but to fall in love to that person. Love choose no one. I met my partner in cyber and we've been together for almost five years. For five years I haven't seen my partner's face on cam and haven't met personally. When true love comes i guess you don't care if he/she is besides you. What matters most is the feeling you have towards that person. It's risky to invest your emotions and trust to stranger but once you're happy and contented, i guess there's no problem with that.
1 person likes this
@ellie26 (4128)
• Malaysia
28 Dec 09
Awesome! Your story really is an eye opening. Its prove that online relationship can survive. Love is really blind and love knows no boundaries.
@simonelee (2718)
• China
28 Dec 09
love is really unconditional. I hope people will learn from my story. next year we will celebrate our fifth year. In a able to survive in this kind of situation you need to be strong.
@atebuds (187)
• Philippines
28 Dec 09
Simonelee, is it true that it is very easy to fall in love online? Is is possible for both of you to fall in love? Or just me to him, for example? How will you know if the feelings are true? Please share... I'm curious... Because I've been chatting with someone online, and somehow, there is an exchange of mutual feelings. But how do I know if it's genuine?
1 person likes this
• South Korea
24 Dec 09
I don't like `online love. Maybe someone think that is ture,but...perhaps all is not as you wish
• China
24 Dec 09
i agree, how can someone fall in love with the person you will never see? it is just dard to beleive. i have my experience that someone just keep saying that " i love you ". i am so scared. i just don't trust him. cause i will never fall in love with him. Sepcially , we are in different country and there is sucn a long distance, how can it be possible.
1 person likes this
• South Korea
25 Dec 09
^^~
1 person likes this
@ellie26 (4128)
• Malaysia
28 Dec 09
I think falling in love with someone online is just like when you see a handsome or beautiful person on a pictures. You tend to want to know that person on the picture more and this is the same goes for online dating. The words they use sometimes make us want to get to know them more. And the more we know about them through the words they use, the more we open up to them.
• China
23 Dec 09
Frankly speaking,I don't believe in online love,people are complicated animal so it's difficult to know what other people are thinking of.Love sometimes is also complex even if they know each other very well.So if me, I will reject this kind of love,untruthful.
1 person likes this
@maria1081 (1252)
• Philippines
23 Dec 09
To you this kind of feeling or love is untruthful but for me who had experienced this feeling, I can say that this is true. It may sounds stupid, crazy and unthinkable but believe me I'm a living testimony. I shred a tear for someone who's not mine even in the very beginning. I took the risk and tried my best, though it didnt ended well I have no regrets. And I dont belong to complicated animal, I have self control and self respect.
@ellie26 (4128)
• Malaysia
28 Dec 09
I'm with you Maria. Though it may seem impossible for some to have online lovers but not all online lovers are fake, some are real people with real feelings.
@jazel_juan (15767)
• Philippines
24 Dec 09
sometimes maybe it is worth the emotions and the experience. i met my huby online and i can say its all worth it. eventhough we did had ups and downs..so much worse but still we are together till now:))
1 person likes this
@ellie26 (4128)
• Malaysia
28 Dec 09
hmm.....so romantic..
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
24 Dec 09
Hi ellie! Seen you after long time. I thought you are going to write a serious peom about lovers on on-line. It is an interesting post because those who fall in love through cyber world may not eventually succeed. Some of them do get their lover for life time. You see there are many obstacles in loving a person, through on-line channels and untill and unless both the parties are truely committed and sincere, flower of love cannot prosper and bloom. BTW, if it did happen with you that you could not succeed in getting your lover, please do not worry, life is too short, there are many other things in life, which will make you busy. Or if it was a hypothetical situation, then let it ne. There is no need to get emotional, because it is not going to help, in my opinion. Deepak WISH YOU MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR.
1 person likes this
@ellie26 (4128)
• Malaysia
28 Dec 09
Hey Deepak, I am happy that you still remember me! What a friend you are! Anyway, I am glad you came to leave comments on my post. I like your comment, this is something worth thinking about. Happy New Year 2010.......
• Philippines
24 Dec 09
I think online lovers really don't feel true love, because love has laws and it won't change just because of technologies. for example, true love needs trust, and how could you give full trust to someone whom you can see only if they are online. Others would defend that they really feel true love, but yet i say you are just fooling yourself.
@ellie26 (4128)
• Malaysia
28 Dec 09
The first step of online relationship is getting to know them through their words. You fall for their wonderful words and of course their pictures that they let you see of them. Then the second step will be to meet in person and getting to know personally. That is where you will know whether they are worth the time and effort or worth pursuing the relationship. That is where true love develops.
@coffeeshot (3786)
• Australia
24 Dec 09
I think that meeting someone online does have its benefits. As long as both people are being truthful in everything they say, it is a great way to get to know someone's personality. You don't use body language or vocal intonation or physical appearance to get to know the person, only what they say and explain. However it may not be the same if the two meet in 'real life'. I guess it's a trial and error thing, you can meet up and see if the romance translates in person and if it doesn't well then that's a friendship made.
1 person likes this
@ellie26 (4128)
• Malaysia
28 Dec 09
I like your comment, coffeeshot. Thank you.
@Genericbe (1378)
• Philippines
23 Dec 09
Online lovers is one of the most crucial when entered in a relationship. For it gives no assurance but only relays. It may give many doubtful thoughts and fears. If the person on the online love has gave you the realization that somehow, It brought out the best in you based on your considerations. Then, I cannot blame you. Emotional baggage always exists in any kind of relationship especially when things have to end without any justification at all or properly made a clear exit in a relationship. It is normal nowadays, and the best remedy for that is try to overcome the pain instead think of what lies ahead of you. Let it serve as and additional learning experience and correct mistakes to avoid it happening again. Though, there are successful relationships happening in some online lovers but it depends on the person's involved.
1 person likes this
@ellie26 (4128)
• Malaysia
28 Dec 09
There are always risks involve in any relationship, be it online or real world. Even in real world, the person we love may not be the person he/she seems to be. Same goes for online lovers where they can portray themselves as perfect lover. But it always we who make the final decision whether to take the risk or leave them altogether.
• United States
25 Dec 09
I've never been in an online relationship before, I never thought about the concept you've written here. That sounds pretty sad. I'm not sure if I'd want to get into a relationship with those risk. Maybe only if your going to have an actual face to face relationship in a predetermined amount of time.
@JackChew (10)
• China
24 Dec 09
most of the time is just do it,to do,to smile,to cry and to remember to forget,it's the life...tastable and colorful....dare to do it..
1 person likes this
@vicki2876 (5640)
• Canada
23 Dec 09
I think that it is much harder to break up with an online lover because I tend to make them into the perfect guy and they are only putting their best foot forward. I am missing the gassy nights after chilly, or that he snores. I am not hearing a stupid giggle but imagining a voice I melt to. I know that they do the same. I am the most sensual and sweet. They are not seeing much of who I am offline. They only see what I want them to and they only take in what they want and fill the rest with someone they would want in their mind. So it is like breaking up with prince charming because that is what I created and not really what was there.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
23 Dec 09
You may be loving a fictitious person online who only dramatize his love for you knowing that it is almost impossible to realize that love affair you have created over the net. Unless there is meeting of the eyes which eventually correspond with the stirring of the heart that would likely confirm the real love. Otherwise you should only enjoy the presence of the other vaguely in the chatroom. Don't be a victim of cyberworld love as it will only leave you with unnecessary emotional baggage to shoulder. Come back to reality and seek the love you need in the real world. They are too many online casanovas hunting for their preys. Don't fall for one or you'll be sorry for breaking your heart into pieces.
@zhseng (32)
• Malaysia
23 Dec 09
Whatever emotion about somebody is definitely unique. So, don't ever feel shy to express. The chance maybe only once and never happen again. So, do what you suppose to do. Don't regret because not doing it and don't regret after you do it. Think before you take action.
1 person likes this