My Parent's Neighbor Committed Suicide

@CatsandDogs (13964)
United States
December 24, 2009 1:01pm CST
Monday morning or afternoon, we're not sure when. She was only 42 years old. So young. So so young. My parents neighbor to their left had seen it on the news and went to see another neighbor and told her and he cried while telling her. Then that neighbor called and told my parents. My parents normally watch the news but on Monday, dinner was ready so they had just turned off the tv when the news was about to come on and missed it. My parents had been doing all they could to help this lady, her name was Joan but nothing seemed to work. What happened was, 7 years ago, her husband was driving drunk with her in the car and had a really bad accident where Joan was thrown from the car and had crushed her spine. She had been to a number of doctors for help with the pain and had a number of prescriptions given to her and the stronger ones helped but didn't alleviate the pain. She couldn't sleep in their bed anymore because of the pain being so unbearable so she slept in a recliner. Her husband said that she had worn out three recliners and a love seat. Joan told my mom that her husband doesn't drive anymore because of the accident although he does have his license back. And she told my mom a few times that if she could get a hold of a gun, she'd blow her brains out. Mom tried to talk her out of doing such a thing but some how, she found a gun and shot herself in the chest. Joan's husband was outside shoveling snow and didn't hear the gun go off and later found her. Oh the poor guy! He'll have to live with this guilt for the rest of his life! How horrible!! My heart goes out to him so very much and I don't even know the guy nor have I met him. My hubby has met him and Joan but I haven't. We had sent them dinner for Thanksgiving so they'd have something to eat and celebrate with and mom had gotten her an appointment with her doctor (mom's doctor) and everything trying to help only for her to do this. Please pray for Joan and her husband. May she find the peace that she'd been seeking and may God welcome her Home with open arms!
7 people like this
12 responses
@Polly1 (12649)
• United States
24 Dec 09
I have tears in my eyes while reading this. This is so very sad. Tha poor lady, how horribe for her that she felt that she had no other way of dealing with this. I feel so sorry for her husband too, I hope he can find the help he needs to accept wat happened and live is life. Killing yourself is such a horrible thing to do to your loved ones. They have to live with the after affects. I already feel in my heart that she is pain free and in God's arms. I just hope that her husband will learn to feel that way. Its a blessing to her that she doesn't hurt anymore. I have already said a prayer for them. With you posting this, they will get lots of prayers.
2 people like this
@ElicBxn (60884)
• United States
25 Dec 09
That is so sad. I do know that chronic pain is one of those things that can make a person just want to end it all. I've been in a good bit of pain today, I think I must've slept in a knot last night, my back is really hurting...
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (60884)
• United States
25 Dec 09
yeah, I've done some of those in the past, but this pain is up in my left shoulder area and into my neck - I have no clue what happened, but I'm going to bed early! Need to gather up what I need for tomorrow!
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
25 Dec 09
Bead Pillows - are wonderful for neck and back pain
Sounds like you need a bead pillow. They are WONDERFUL for the neck!! I took my bean pillow with me to mom's cousins house, it's just THAT good!! They don't have to be travel ones like the picture but square ones to round ones. The only thing about them is the material that they come in don't last very long so I took a couple of my pillows and cut them open and put the contents inside a pillow case and sewed it shut. I can wash it in my washing machine and dryer too and it comes out looking great!
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (60884)
• United States
25 Dec 09
that looks good, but I'm a side sleeper... would work in the car - actually, I have something in the car because I'm so short that my head rest wasn't in the right place...
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
26 Dec 09
That is very sad news cats and my prayers certainly go out to this man and his wife. I wonder how he feels, seeing he was driving drunk and caused the accident…Life must have been pretty tough for both of them. I had pain in my back for a while which would have been nothing compared to what this poor woman was living with and it made me very miserable so I can only imagine how depressed she must have been feeling...So very sad at this time of year too!
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
25 Dec 09
It is a very bad thing when a person choses sucicide. I have no patience w/that chouice at all. As for the husband feeling guilty he should. He shouldn't have been drunk & driving to start with. we all make bad choices at times & they both did.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
26 Dec 09
One of the worse things about somone committing sucide is the not knowing why. U can speculate till u are blue in the face but u never get the answers u want or need. It is very sad for anyone to get to that point TO DO THAT BUT IT IS VERY SAD FOR THE FAMILY & FRIENDS TO. u CAN'T HELP BUT WONDER IF THERE WAS SOMETHING U COULD HAVE DONE TO CHANGE THINGS.
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48715)
• United Kingdom
1 Jan 10
That is so sad Some People are not strong enough to deal with what is thrown at them and it is just so sad If only she had not got in the Car as I would never get in the car with someone that had been drinking yes her Husband has to live with this now and that is sad as he is being made to pay even more for his mistake I am so sorry to read this and may Joan rest in peace
1 person likes this
@bing28 (3798)
• Philippines
29 Dec 09
May she rest in peace, Cats. I believe that woman like her who's so depressed with her condition must always be surrounded by relatives and friends. She needs someone to talk to all the time. So her mind would be preoccupied and could not think of killing herself. The pains she felt could be lessened too by talking it out. Poor woman, she was not able to think of other things other than end her life. She really needs prayers Cats and I do pray for her.
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
31 Dec 09
Apparently she didn't have much of a family because she and her husband lived a secluded life. Very rarely did my parents see them have a visitor. We found out that she has a son about an hour away and sisters and brothers in the area. Go figure. I don't understand family that stays apart like they seemed to have done. Had they helped her out, she might be alive today. Yes, she does need prayers and I've prayed for her but I can't stop thinking about her although I've never met her.
• United States
27 Dec 09
Aww...what a shame and horrific for her husband. what it must of been like to be in the sort of pain...my thoughts are with her husband and family.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
31 Dec 09
Exactly how I feel. She had to be out of her mind with pain to do such a thing. I just pray that her husband can go on with his life but I doubt he will for long because he must be feeling quite guilty. How so very sad.
@lindiebiz (1013)
• Canada
27 Dec 09
I pray that God gives the family the fortitude to bear the loss. Lesson to be learnt don't drink and drive
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
31 Dec 09
Thank you and I agree, a hell of a lesson to be learned here. Don't drink and drive.
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
26 Dec 09
This is a very sad and tragic story. It is hard to think of such things happening in the world, but they do. I don't even know these people, but I am very angry at the husband. People take drinking and driving far too lightly in this country. Not only did he ruin his spouse's life, but so many other people have been devastated by this ordeal. I would not only have given him jail time, but he would never get behind the wheel of a car again. He could have caused much more damage than he did. I am so sorry for the wife, her family, and loved ones.
@syankee525 (6294)
• United States
25 Dec 09
i do feel for him just because of his action that caused her pain. this is the worst punshment for him then jail. knowing his wife took her life because he drove drunk and she gotten hurt bad and she been living in pain. but i feel for her more. i know when you have chronic pain that never stops its get old and very hard to deal with. i have chronic pain 24/7 i dont get many break from the pain, but knowing i have to keep on fighting through each day with pain. i have told some if i would die today i wouldnt be upset i would be pain free finally but i would never take my own life, even when i get my bad headaches and nothing seem to work. its hard to deal with but i will say a prayer for this poor lady that she will go to heaven.
1 person likes this
@calai618 (1781)
• Philippines
25 Dec 09
News like this always break my heart. My prayers go out to her and those people she left behind especially her husband.
1 person likes this
@Bluepatch (2480)
• Trinidad And Tobago
24 Dec 09
I know that this is hard but you must try to remember that everyone has to live their own life. Its sad that this woman gave in to despair but we must admit that she did have a serious problem and God is indeed merciful.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
24 Dec 09
You are very right in which I completely agree but knowing she wanted to get well or at the very least, help with the pain so it would be bearable for her, is very sad and knowing she was pushed aside like someone unimportant is even more sad. I just hope that God has accepted her into Heaven where she'll find the peace that she seeked for so long.