visits to the dead

@TLChimes (4842)
United States
December 30, 2009 7:43pm CST
We all know there are different ways to remember those lost to us. But has it changed in the computer age? Instead of a visit to a grave is there another way to say hello to a lost friend? Today is the anniversary of a friend and her 4 children being killed by a drunk driver. I spent time visiting with some old e-mailed notes we shared and I typed one to her and emailed it off knowing it would be lost to cyber space. Because I was thinking of her it lead me to think of a friend from the lot that we lost about 8 months back. I left a comment on her profile and found I wasn't alone. She's had at least on visitor a month since she left us. So how do you visit with the on line friends you've become close to that have passed on?
10 people like this
12 responses
@Allie_xoxo (1064)
• Canada
31 Dec 09
Facebook is a great way to do this. I've seen lots of groups that people have created to remember their loved ones. In many cases these groups have photos, posts and regular visitors.
@TLChimes (4842)
• United States
31 Dec 09
many groups are out there... but sometimes just a private moment helps heal a bit.
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31636)
• United States
31 Dec 09
I just think of them in my heart. I lost a wonderful online friend in January of 2004, he was very dear to so many people in the forum I posted in. I lost another a couple of years ago to cancer, he was a musical genius and very sweet. If you know where your friend lived and the year she did, you could try looking up her grave in findagrave dot com. If it isn't there, you can request a photo of it be added to the archives and someone in the area (if they've signed up for it) will locate it and take a photo of it than publish it on the site.
1 person likes this
@TLChimes (4842)
• United States
1 Jan 10
There's a memorial site for one and we shared many friends for both so I visit them often that way..... I'll have to see if they are on there.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (119823)
• Boise, Idaho
1 Jan 10
Doing something like this is nice. I have some parents who have set up an entire website for their lost loved one. You can do ecards and even send to fellow friends who have lost people the same way. And since it was a drunk driver that caused the lause you could do something in that arena as well.
@TLChimes (4842)
• United States
1 Jan 10
Though they were a different faith then me I went to their local church for the memorial service because I wanted to show my support to those left behind. I was saddened by the open bickering one side of the family toward the other..... sad....
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (119823)
• Boise, Idaho
2 Jan 10
I agree. Definitely not the appropriate time for it.
@GardenGerty (102466)
• United States
31 Dec 09
I think about some people that I have lost, I remember them, long for them, but do not try to visit with them. I do find it interesting to think of e mailing them. In fact, the ones I have lost would not have had an e mail.
@TLChimes (4842)
• United States
31 Dec 09
Ok that made me giggle.... I have also written letters (to the living) that I never sent... just to get my feelings out.... no one gets hurt and I get healed...
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (102466)
• United States
31 Dec 09
Those kind of letters are very cathartic. Actually, for some of my lost, I have written poems this year. I published them on Gather. I hope to maybe send some to a greeting card company.
@blackbriar (9080)
• United States
1 Jan 10
Mornin' TLC...I don't visit graves..too much sadness there for me. Instead, my family and friends are all buried in my heart where I'll never forget them. I can sit here deep in thought over those I loved whom passed on. -sad smile-
• United Kingdom
31 Dec 09
I guess it's important to do what feels right for you! There's nothing wrong with remembering loved ones and friends that have passed away using the Internet. I have noticed that there are a lot of memorial pages and 911 has to be the most notable! You can do this yourself and create a blog for your deceased friend and you can right about them and you can post something on this blog every anniversary as well as post pictures and so forth. Not everyone favours visiting a physical grave. This is the good thing about the Internet now, it has made life that much easier in relation to this. I think that photos speak a thousand words! Happy New Year! Andrew
@TLChimes (4842)
• United States
1 Jan 10
Very true..... Thank You!
@Opal26 (17690)
• United States
31 Dec 09
Hi TL~ I think that was a lovely and thoughtful way to remember your friend. I honestly would never have thought to do something like that. I think she will get the message wherever she is. And as for "our mylotter friend", she is still quite sorely missed by many of us.
@TLChimes (4842)
• United States
1 Jan 10
I'm glad it made sense. It helps me to think she feels how loved she was while her... and remembered even now.
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
31 Dec 09
I haven't lost any friends that I only know through the internet only. However, it looks like one of my close friends may be the next person that I know to go and I have been trying to think of a way that I will be able to remember her. I know that no matter where she is buried I will never be able to visit the cemetary because she will either be buried in Nashville or in Ashland because she is not from here. That said, I've been thinking about the way that I will be able to best remember her and I think what I am going to do is ask her husband if I can burn some of her CDs so I will be able to listen to them whenever she is on my mind. She is a singer and to be able to listen to her sing whenever I am thinking about her would be a great comfort to me.
@TLChimes (4842)
• United States
1 Jan 10
That is a great idea! Music, art, Poetry..... all are great marks people leave behind on the world
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
31 Dec 09
I have one who was shot by her husband back in July and I sometimes go over to Helium and visit her poetry. She used to share her poems with me and i like to remember her that way.
@TLChimes (4842)
• United States
1 Jan 10
Yep...... I know just what you mean.... even friends I've lost to time and distance I hold tight to in their writings or art work....
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
31 Dec 09
Oh I know exactly who you're talking about when it comes to our dearly beloved mylot friend. I still can't believe she's gone. Knowing she's in a better place and at peace does bring some relief but still, I miss her so much. I still have her avatar in my friends list for I can't let her go. She'll be forever in our hearts, won't she? bellaofchoas, you'll never be forgotten! About your friend and four children, I'm so sorry!! Kudos to you for remembering her and her children!
@TLChimes (4842)
• United States
1 Jan 10
Yep that's our dear friend.... I still have her there too.... We hold tight to those in our lives when we remember those we've lost.... at least I do.
• India
19 Jan 10
Hello my friend TLChimes Ji, Very well, it has some meaning, it is a fantastic idea. Thanks. May God bless You and have a great time.
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
2 Jan 10
I still have the email address in my list of contacts that used to belong to my late mother in law who passed away late 2008. I have never though of sending her an email...It may come back but the act of typing it to her and then sending it would be such a peaceful feeling, I would imagine...It is a comfort to be able to leave a message for someone who has passed on. I do believe that the person will be aware of our message. There is a site where one can pay respects to the departed too.