What is your reaction when someone uses abusive language aginst you?

@nar8988 (409)
January 1, 2010 8:50am CST
Friends it would have happened with most of us that a person had used abusive language agianst you,What was your reaction at that time,and actually what is the best way to deal with him at that time,Should we just run out of there,or simply ignore him,or we also start using that type of language ,Friend sometimes this has happened with me also ,I use to ignore the person, but when it really crosses the limit,I sometimes give him good taste of my language ,but that is really on rare ocasions where you can not really just listen him aany more.
3 people like this
20 responses
@Craicha (801)
1 Jan 10
for me he should be careful to use his abusive language against me especially happen if these person doesnt know me better bcoz of course what abusive language he give to me for sure i'll returned it back to him and that he won't like it.....
@nar8988 (409)
1 Jan 10
yes ,but if he has used that language ,he has done it intentionally ,so it becomes imperative that you just retort and give him back his words ,even more if possible. atleast make him realize and make him silent.
@Craicha (801)
1 Jan 10
yah if he done it intentionally I'll give back his words that his aware and shame too that not all people he knows or he dont know he just said this abusive words...that by next time he will be careful to say abusive words to the person, he needs to look at the person first if this person is capable for his abusive words ...or else he needs to shutup his mouth and stay silence
@nar8988 (409)
1 Jan 10
yes that is totally true.
@abhi333 (407)
• India
1 Jan 10
well i've been very lucky in this case. no one has ever used offensive language against me in my 14 years of school and 4 years of college. Even persons don't talk in high volume with me. a few days ago, for the first time in my life, a person spoke with me in high volume and i replied him in such a way that he was ashamed of himself for talking with me in such a tone and he apologized in front of the whole class at that instant itself. so my belief is that never deal violence with violence or anger with anger. try to find the reason for his anger and try to solve it.
@nar8988 (409)
1 Jan 10
New answer ,AND totally correct that if you use a god language even for offensive language used against you ,the person using that language person might feel ashamed of himself only.You have said that you are lucky ,actually it is not luck ,but it is your behaviour,you must be well mannered.
1 person likes this
@abhi333 (407)
• India
1 Jan 10
ya that is probably true. i think i've hardly ever talked with somebody in harsh language. i try to remain as much polite as possible and i'm very cool-tempered. i can forgive a person very easily even if he has done me a great harm.
@nar8988 (409)
1 Jan 10
yes ,I also feel you should always be polite to actually avoid these type of situations,and even if we get catch in these type of situations we should not loose our patience,we should just remain cool.
@bhav27 (443)
• India
2 Jan 10
when someone abuses me then either i walk away or talk to the person and say hey these are your manners , you parents teach you this , if he feels ashame then hte person say sorry if the person is tubborn then instead of fighting with the person i quitly walk away because i know that the person will not understand as he thinks himself to be the king of world , many time i have encountered with the situations and it really hurts when i see someone using abusive language to show his dominating nature.
@nar8988 (409)
2 Jan 10
yes these options are there ,if the person is rampant and by no means he is going to understand whatever you do,then it is good way to walk away and also you can tell that if these are the manners taught to him by his parents.this will certainly hurt him,and if he is even a little bit sensitive he will stopand it is really true that it hurts our emotions also ,but we should really avoid these type of situations.
• Australia
2 Jan 10
I dont really care i mostly think they are just low lifes - that is if they are actually calling me stuff and using it to attack me if for instance we are using it in conversation then i just think well uno its normal.
@nar8988 (409)
2 Jan 10
Yes they are some low profiles ,thats why they are using that type of language and it is really not necessary to answer them back.thnks for sharing your view,it is really helping me to know what people think on this from all over the world,and help me improve my own personality.Happy mylotting.
@sharone74 (4839)
• United States
1 Jan 10
When someone begins verbally abusing you don't run, don't cede the conversation to them. Stop them, interrupt them, remind them that this discussion whatever it may be, is about an issue and introduction of rhetorical content that involves you personally must mean that they have no further proof or evidence to present on their side of the argument. Stop them and tell them that their language is unacceptable and point out to them that you are not personally attacking them in the same manner. You could also allow it to roll off of your back, ignore all of their comentary until they wind down, when they get done you can even ask them if they are done, and when they are you can continue the discussion as though they never spoke or you can then turn and walk away from them. A lot of people use foul language to shock and polarize people. Sometimes it indicates passion for their topic but often it is just a cover for a lack of ability in expressing themselves. Abusive language is not pleasant but it is also not life threatening. It may feel like someone is doing to vocal equivalent of showering you in garbage but it is an expression of a lack of ideas or a lack of intelect, don't let it stall you or move you from whatever your point may be. Make your point and then absent yourself from their company.
@nar8988 (409)
2 Jan 10
Yes I agree ,that it becomes important to tell him that his lagiage ies really no longer acceptable,and that we can also retort back if we want.But iit is also true that we can walkaway from them ,this point is new one that persomn using this foul language is trying to hide his inability ,or is lacking intellectual power,I support this fact and we also can walk back ,ignoring him.
• United States
1 Jan 10
Laugh at him. People who use that kind of language against you are trying to get you to react. Laugh at him and take away his power and make him look like a fool for doing what he did. Make a comment about his low IQ, or ask if his parents were related. All the time laughing at him. People who feel the need the resort of abusive language are bullies and seldom very smart.
@nar8988 (409)
4 Jan 10
That is quite a good tactic,because it not only makes you keep away from saying that sort of language but also makes the other person think about his words.Also you can say if this is what your parents have taught to you ,this will certainly make him feel ashamed,that was quite a nice answer.
@OYGAK2005 (371)
• Saudi Arabia
1 Jan 10
hi..yes ...like that persons really exist in our daily communications...also ever touched like that people.when he was used dirty words abused me i know there bo reasons to get that.iwas angered to him but not effected him .so ingored his words ...since that time my way is ignore....and some times really you couldn't ignored with he ..maybe at that time to me that i can't avoied used any methods..good luck..
@nar8988 (409)
2 Jan 10
Ok ,thats really a good way that just ignore the person ,even if trys te get over you,but when he really crosses the limit you got to give some reaction atleast and that may be anything,anyway thanks for sharing opininon , Happy mylotting.
• India
1 Jan 10
I simply smile at them and say " SAME TO YOU"
@nar8988 (409)
1 Jan 10
Yes that is good answer,if you had noticed ,in big boss also ,Raju srivastava also used same technique against kamal khan and that did worked,kamal really got irritated for that as raju himself didn't use even a single offensive word.
@maria1081 (1252)
• Philippines
1 Jan 10
My initial reaction is that I'll get angry and upset about it, I even cry when I really get mad. I seldom hear abusive words against me, if the word/s used is too harsh I would probably say the same to him/her.
@nar8988 (409)
1 Jan 10
yes we should this tactic,we should use the same word for him,but friend there is nothing to cry ,these are his words ,you don't need to feel upset for his words but he should repent on what he has said.
@cobradene (1171)
• India
1 Jan 10
First, if I can put them back in their place, I will do so without using retorting with abusive language. If that doesn't work, then I get further abusive and as harsh as I can, to make them realize, how other's feel when they get abused.
@nar8988 (409)
1 Jan 10
That is also correct ,that atleast make him feel how bad you have felt ,because of his bad language,so it is nice that first try to solve matter calmly,but if that don't help ,take the other option.
@allknowing (65099)
• India
1 Jan 10
I can tolerate a slap if at all - no one will dare to anyway - but not abusive language. I will not tolerate it even once. If I can live without that person in my life I will choose to cut off from that person forever.
@nar8988 (409)
1 Jan 10
Ok ,everyone has different method of handling with other s at different situation.your opinion was also correct in the sense you don't need to stand and listen what other one is saying about you ,just go and respond.
• United States
1 Jan 10
Yes, it is always best to not get very upset yourself because that is usually what the other person wants. But sometimes it does seem almost impossible to restrain yourself from joining in! I guess for me it depends on the situation and who it is that is using the abusive language. For example, there have been times when I have been driving and going to slow for the people behind me and they get really mad and I can hear them cursing and yelling. Those people I don't fight back because, I will never see them again, I just think to myself, they are very miserable and it is unfortunate for them. Then, there have been times when people have accused me of something that I didn't do and it really makes me upset, then, I might curse back. Usually, I don't yell and curse at anyone unless they are doing it to me. But, alot of the times I just let it go! One time that I wont use abusive language is when I am in front of children. They do not need to hear that!
@nar8988 (409)
1 Jan 10
YOU ARE TRUE,if we get upset ,person abusing us gets successful in his way.and really we should keep us away from all those stuffs.You have given good point that those people are never really going to meet us again so better think ,those are really unwanted to get any rection.and also we must not start yelling even if we want in front of children.
• Philippines
1 Jan 10
If the language really offended you, then it is important that the person immediately knows about it. Swearing everytime he or she experiences a variety of emotions. I feel really distressed when someone swears non stop.
@nar8988 (409)
1 Jan 10
yes this is true ,you really feel disturbed when other person uses bad language for you,but as you said it really becomes important for us also to make him know what we are feeling by using different tactics.
@puchhua (30)
• China
6 Jan 10
it depend on what kind of friends i group.if the person is the best friend of mine,i will let he or she know that the language is mad me a lot,hoping he or she would change his or her manner and would not offend me again like that.if the person jast a kind of friend,i choice ignore it .
@jezzmay (1845)
• United States
5 Jan 10
Years ago I would gave as good as I got. Now I Know that is not what we should do. Now I try to walk away and leave it alone. It is not worth the trouble. Live and let live. Have a great New Year.
@Devilova (5396)
• Indonesia
3 Jan 10
Just ignored Him, but if He keep do that.Report Him, in some social networking like mig33 we can kick them out of the room.I got some like that to, in FB I get hunt in every single applications / games.Cause I always use same nick, so it is easy to find me. In mafiawars for example, He declared war to me cause He was on my family withaut known by me.He lose and killed, cause I had good family beside me.Next He always attacked me, although He always lose.Didn't know what I have done so that He really2 peace off.
@aerous (13474)
• Philippines
3 Jan 10
I'm a reasonable person, my friend. Just get in diplomatic conversation...I don't want someone being hurt...
@sheetalnr (590)
• India
3 Jan 10
i tend to get offended and resist myself from giving a resounding reply.
@drakesuyat (1064)
• Philippines
2 Jan 10
an eye for an eye. a tooth for a tooth. do not do unto others what you dont want to do unto you. as simple as that! happy mylotting nar8988
@MrKennedy (1994)
2 Jan 10
Over the years, I've sort of become desensitized to curse words and such, but if somebody offends me personally, or continues to use abusive language in my presence, I will make it clear that I will not tolerate it, and I will make it clear to them that I will not stand for such abusive language towards me