She's been happily married for years, recently she met a guy, and instantly felt

By Liz
United States
January 11, 2010 8:38am CST
As if shed known him forever. She thought maybe they could b friends, she's never had a guy friend, only one girl friend years ago. All shed ever known since she was 16 was her wonderful husband whom she adores. Three almost grown kids, her life was and is them. But for some reason this new friend is taking up her thoughts, they started texting , his beautiful words, like poetry, butterflies are back, she would never leave her family, but can't resist the call of the texts and the words that say so much. They warm her soul, like a starving person she waits for them then reads them slowly. Each word gobbled up with desire, she hadn't felt in years. What should she do? To let go would b like getting rid of apart of herself, to keep it up is making her feel like a fool, Some one she's not and never been.
1 person likes this
13 responses
• United States
11 Jan 10
Only this woman can make that choice. I believe it it is not friendship she is feeling for this man...it is attraction. She has been with the same man since she was 16 and you say she has never had an affair...hmmm. Sometimes we meet someone and there is something there that we don't ask for or seek. What she does with this is going to be a hard decision but it is a decision that is hers alone. How would she feel if she knew you were asking others to respond to this. I have a thought on that.... The woman is you.
• United States
11 Jan 10
No no me I had her ok on this she wanted to see what people thought.
• Philippines
11 Jan 10
She is married for years and have no other friends... her life revolves to her family... I understand why she feels like that... Those sweet talks really makes everyone feel good... especially to people like her... Like you said she is like longing for that. Most people who are married for years forget to nourish their partners with sweet talks... And that is the common reason why some married people are easily fallen for others for they haven't feel that feeling for a long time.... Better talk to that person. It is okay if she has no plans of getting in to it deeply... but I doubt. It is actually the first stage. You must remind her and lay all the cards... discuss the consiquences. I hope she will be enlighten soon. And better talk to his husband too, but don't tell about the guy who's texting his wife... Like ask him when was the last time they dated... or some hypothetical questions that would make him realize and think of giving quality time with his wife.... Have a nice day! I hiope I have helped you.
• Philippines
11 Jan 10
Better tell and ask her also, h that the guy is sweet for now... but until when? Don't jump into something just because it looks good or feels good. Think of the happy years and moment she shared with her family... those trials they have been through.... and how they overcome them together...
@myramae19 (667)
• Philippines
11 Jan 10
If she really loves her family as she said..then she shouldn't entertain the guy she had just met,in married life there's a lot of things to consider, especially the children, the needs of the children, she should stop texting or receiving calls from that guy., just cut communication before its too late, it might broke their family if she'll continue to entertain that guy.
• Philippines
11 Jan 10
I absolutely agree with you myramae. Cut the communication, stop entertaining the guy before it's too late. The more she entertains the guy the more her feeling will become deep. And it will be more harder for her to control herself and the situation...
@skbrence (476)
• Philippines
11 Jan 10
She must consider her responsibilities with her husband and with her kids. Isn't it she vowed together with his husband their Love to last until eternity in front of God? She entered and got locked with your husband's life so she must stick with it. She must consider what her husband and what her kids would feel RATHER THAN considering just herself. She must remember that "Marriage isn't like a Rice that when she swallows it and got scald/burned, you would easily get rid of it..." She vowed her love with her husband to last until eternity so she must fulfill it.
@skbrence (476)
• Philippines
14 Jan 10
Thanks for your understandings. About the rice thingy, yes it is somehow weak but it do really mean a lot. Anyways, about my avatar, I guess I am not doing anything against myLot's avatar rules. It isn't actually a Japanese thingy though it seems like an Anime character. Actually, it is drawn by an American. Besides, that drawing is an illustration of a character from one of US's game which is Grand Chase so I think I somehow support American things. Well, anyways, thank you for having your comments with it. I do appreciate it. xD
• Philippines
13 Jan 10
She's been married for years.I know your friends knows very much the ups and downs of marriage. she is now in a dilemma between her family and the man whom she met and barely knows his background and speaks words that would turn her femininity upside down. Tell your friend to stop communicating with that guy instead do some efforts and concentrate with her husband.do not entertain that guy who will surely be the reason for a broken marriage in the future.Instead of texting that guy why not his husband? Just imagine that they were in the courtship stage of relationship....Think it over....so you will never regret in the end...be blessed
@tawny_24 (351)
• United States
12 Jan 10
Obviously this woman has no experience with men, besides her husband. Does this mystery man knkow she is married/ If he does then that is an automatic RED FLAG!!! This guy is an A** Hole! Throw the phone in the garbage. Tell your husband that you need more romance. Do what it takes to make the mariage more sexy.
@kissie34 (2296)
• Philippines
12 Jan 10
When I was in my teenager I sort of experienced that kind of situation. I thought that I like this guy since I can’t stop thinking about him and I always want to text him if possible all the time. He made me happy even in a simple way. I really thought that I already love him but after a few months knowing him more I realized that I don’t love him the way I was thinking before. I also realized that the reason why I want him in my life was because I’m alone and I need someone to brighten my day. All of the things that I felt for him before had gone without knowing. Maybe she’s in the same situation like me before. There are so many possible reasons why she really likes this guy. Maybe her husband is too busy and the attention that she wants to get from her husband, she got it from that guy. Or she’s not really happy in their relationship. You might not know that there’s something wrong in their marriage and she doesn’t like to admit it. She’s pretending that she has a happy family and marriage life but the truth is she’s not that happy. It’s impossible to longing to other man if she’s happy with her husband. Everything will be change when she already realizes what she’s looking for. Well, there’s a possibility that she might fall to this guy. Hopefully, before she falls to this guy she must be ready of the consequences might happen in her family. If I were in her situation right now, I’ll stop texting this guy even though it will makes me unhappy for the sake of my family. I don’t like to destroy the happy marriage that I have just because of some text message of someone. I will be faithful to my husband and to my children because that’s the best thing that I need to do. I hope she will be able to realize the best solution in her problem soon before its too late. Happy mylotter. =D When I was in my teenager I sort of experienced that kind of situation. I thought that I like this guy since I can’t stop thinking about him and I always want to text him if possible all the time. He made me happy even in a simple way. I really thought that I already love him but after a few months knowing him more I realized that I don’t love him the way I was thinking before. I also realized that the reason why I want him in my life was because I’m alone and I need someone to brighten my day. All of the things that I felt for him before had gone without knowing. Maybe she’s in the same situation like me before. There are so many possible reasons why she really likes this guy. Maybe her husband is too busy and the attention that she wants to get from her husband, she got it from that guy. Or she’s not really happy in their relationship. You might not know that there’s something wrong in their marriage and she doesn’t like to admit it. She’s pretending that she has a happy family and marriage life but the truth is she’s not that happy. It’s impossible to longing to other man if she’s happy with her husband. Everything will be change when she already realizes what she’s looking for. Well, there’s a possibility that she might fall to this guy. Hopefully, before she falls to this guy she must be ready of the consequences might happen in her family. If I were in her situation right now, I’ll stop texting this guy even though it will makes me unhappy for the sake of my family. I don’t like to destroy the happy marriage that I have just because of some text message of someone. I will be faithful to my husband and to my children because that’s the best thing that I need to do. I hope she will be able to realize the best solution in her problem soon before its too late. Happy mylotter. =D
@silverglint (2001)
• Philippines
12 Jan 10
Romance does not always last in a marriage. Usually it is taken for granted and even forgotten. Maybe that is the reason why she feels so attracted to this guy, because she misses the romance that she and her husband once had when he was still courting her or when they were still young. I think that she should stop communicating with this other guy and strive to get what she is looking for from her husband. She can start expressing her need for romance by being romantic to her husband and maybe take the time to tell him how much she misses being courted. I don't want to sound harsh but yes, she would definitely be a fool is she allows this to go on. If she falls in love or thinks that she is in love, then one thing can lead to another, lies, deception and unfaithfulness. Things like this should be nipped off immediately while still in the initial stage or else it can ruin her family.
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
12 Jan 10
Hi dasiejanie,Well, the best thing she could do for herself would be to let this guy know that she is happily married and ask him to stop contacting her. When people are married for a long time the butterflies do stop and they get just so comfortable with each other that they tend to let romance slide away. Rather than risk losing a wonderful husband what she should do is talk to her husband and try to rev up their relationship and bring back some of the thrill and excitement. What she is feeling is very normal but it could be fatal to her marriage if she doesn't end it right off. There will come a time when this will turn into something deeper than just texting to each other.
@cher913 (25890)
• Canada
11 Jan 10
sounds like it is time for a sit down with her hubby. she needs to point out her needs to her hubby. after awhile men tend to get complacent with their wives (i think anyways!) that is what happened to me. i left for 6 months and he changed.
• Philippines
11 Jan 10
Tell your friend she is just momentarily enjoying something she has long never felt before. It is always easy to want something you don't have and take for granted what you do have. Life is not always about feeling good. Personally it should be more like doing good in a way that benefits a lot of people, yourself included. She has a family and should therefore not be selfish to simply throw away what she has invested under the influence of some roller coaster emotion. She must ask herself is there really a future if she gave everything up? Sometimes emotions are only good for certain moments so once the circumstances change then those wonderful feelings can be replaced with bitter ones. It would be best if she uses what she has experienced on her husband. Because both of them might just be looking for the same thing. She fell for her husband for a reason. She should try to remember those moments, relive them and create newer experiences that will top them off. If she leaves or not as long as she continues with her charade her husband or kids might find out and she might just have to be forced to carry some deep emotional wounds that would take a decades to heal and leave scarring memories forever.I don't think its worth it. In the end the decision is hers to take.
• Philippines
11 Jan 10
Growing up with a conservative culture, conservative family and a conservative country, I always do believe that the family should be intact. Basing in the Bible, no man should destroy two people that God has united. But there are just times that this law will not be followed due to some circumstances that comes into our lives. Just like the story that dasiejanie has just shared. That certain married woman seems to have found the "missing" in her life in this guy, in which she is not able to found it from her husband. With regards to the children, you have mentioned that they are almost grown kids. Why don't she share her feelings and thoughts with her kids so that she may know what would be their reactions and her could also give out their opinions. But I would suggest, before making any major decisions, she should make sure about her feelings toward the guy and as well as the real intention of that guy to her. It might be too. As what the elders have said, regrets are always in the last. No regrets would come in before the decision has been made. Think twice and always ask GOD for guidance.
@unique16 (1531)
• United States
11 Jan 10
Hello Dasiejanie, I think she is missing this in her marraige from her husband or she would not being doing it. She misses being appreciated and being romantic with her husband. This is not good for her. I am sorry for being blunt. She is on slippery slope. Does her husband know about this friend? if he does then it good thing if not what would happen if he read one of the text from him... how would he feel? She needs to do this with her husband. If this friend really likes her then I would think he would not be so romanatic towards her and be friend... in the real sense of the word.... Thanks and have a great day Sincerely Unique16