Obligation vs. Happiness

Wow! Well, those are definitly different living arrangements then I'm used to. But after what you've said, I have one question... do you think your sister WANTS to get up every day and support her other sisters and family members? Do you think she WANTS to do that? Or do you think she feels obligated to do that because without her you'd have NOTHING? Fast food is a different kind of place to work. And maybe its not for you, but that doesn't mean sit on your bum and let your sister take care of things. How old are you? Do you think its time you learn how to take care of yourself? Or are you just going to keep remembering how working at a freakin' fast food place has made you stressed? Do you think that I want to get up every morning and rush aroudn to get 2 dogs out to pee and fed, 2 cats fed, get my 3 year old up and dressed and out the door and pray that I make it to work by 8am? No, not at all. Do I feel pressured to do so? HELL YEAH b/c without me making some sacrifices in my life my family would fall to the ground... we would have what we have and we wouldn't be where we are. Personally, it sounds like you have A LOT of growing up to do. A LOT! If working in a fast food place "showed you who you really are" then I feel very sad for you. That McDonalds of all places had to teach you what kind of person you are!! yes, it does sound very selfish... and if you keep up that attitude... maybe one day your family won't be there to support you anymore. You won't be able to lean on the comfort that your sisters' got it covered. What if your sister would meet someone and move away? Then what? I think its time you learn some responsibility! My mother would KILL me if I had that kind of attitude! I wouldn't even be allowed to live under the same roof as the rest of my family if I wasn't doing my part!

In our country we families usually live under one roof even when the daughter or son already has his or her own family. I'm 18, and I'm legal. I know I should be getting a job. I am immature still, and kinda stubborn. And SHY. I totally understood everything that you said. I know I should be helping them out, but my fearful attitude is no help at all. :) And yes, I really need a lot of growing up. Thank you for slapping me in the face.

We are six in the family--all girls--and it is my sister who only works for all of us. She's the breadwinner. We all live under one roof. The problem is me. I'm introverted, and paranoid, that's why I got easily overwhelmed by the awkward scenarios in a highly fast-paced workplace. Having had the experience of working at a fast-food restaurant taught me who I really am, that I'm really not the kind of person who can thrive in stressful places like that. I'm a slow-paced person. You are right, everything is what I make it out to be, and so everything there seemed unpleasant for me. If it were a different person she would have loved the job, or at least the idea of getting paid. That's exactly what I don't like, feeling obligated or pressured to do something because it's what I HAVE to do, not what I WANT to do. Sounds selfish, but I really don't wanna throw myself into a lion's den. Anyway, thank you very much for enlightening me. :) I appreciate that.

Hi, nocturn. You're lucky. You sound like you are happy with your job. The thing with me is that I don't enjoy jobs with routines, like office jobs, clerical jobs, restaurant jobs, which are the only options that I have, and I don't want to have them. I know I'm gonna resign immediately if I don't feel happy with it. :( And thanks for sharing that. Thanks for responding to my discussions.

The farm with animals sounds a good option. My daughter is like you - hates the thought of routine. She's now undecided whether to join the forces or start at agricultural college - hopefully, the latter option will win.

@jazzsue Yeah, farm. The thing is, we don't have a nearby farm here. Where we live is like the suburbs. I really hate routine, I don't think I can make myself love it.

It's hard really. I know that my sister wants to have another job that's more satisfying and rewarding for her, but she's afraid, afraid that she might not be able to get hired immediately, and when that happens, we're back to hunger strike.

You're right - it's the people more than the job. When I was going through a bad patch with my marriage, I took a part-time job delivering pizzas. I LOVED it - I actually enjoyed the fact I didn't have to think too hard, and the youngsters and boss were great. Now, I'm doing a "thinking" job - I enjoy it, but miss the human interaction. S'why i come here!

Great story! Thanks for sharing that one. When I still had no job experience, I'd always told myself what a pleasure it would be to work in a fast-food restaurant. I was happy when I passed the interview, but when it finally came to doing the job, it felt like hell. Not that I couldn't do the tasks (most of them thought that I resigned because they thought I couldn't handle the job), but it was the people actually (managers and coworkers) that made the experience utterly awkward. They were really not the nicest people I've met in my life, and believe it or not, I barely talked to them. I would only report for work, do the job, but not mingle with them. I wasn't rude to them, but I wasn't starting a conversation. It just gives me bad memories. From then on, the idea of work, especially ones that follow rules and routines, annoys me. It sort of got me traumatized. I know I'm really choosy when it comes to jobs, but just the thought of "work" freaks me out. I want work to feel like play, but I don't know if there's work like that that's available for my age. Your story is amazing. I admire you for bearing all the dirty stuff. I felt that way, too, not liking what I was doing. And whenever I get into an awkward situation like that, I kinda forget anymore that what I'm doing is for my future. I feel embarrassed that you know how easily I get overwhelmed by these types of things and people especially.

I love farms mainly because of the interaction between me and nature. I'm the type who opts for eco-adventure, instead of inanimate workplaces and paperworks. My dream job is to actually become an environmentalist/traveler. The type that has no rules at all, where I am in control of my own time and choices. But right now that is sort of not available for me, at 18 and no degree yet. I've seen lot of jobs regarding eco-adventure or camping in the US and UK, but not in the Philippines. If I'd have a lot of money to book a flight and the permission from my family, I'd definitely go for that one. I couldn't be any happier.

Good for you! You must be a diligent student. :) I'm also gonna apply for scholarship next semester, but before I could do that we'd have to pay our school debts first. I hope we get done with them before school starts.

Thank you for that wonderful response. I agree, my unpleasant experiences have taught me lessons in life, too, and things about myself that I just didn't know before. And yes, I always pray to God, and ask Him for courage and acceptance of whatever plans He has for us. I believe that without Him, I would feel more troubled.