Do you delete friends just because they're not very active?
By jesssp
@jesssp (2712)
Canada
January 13, 2010 11:55am CST
I know there are lots of good reasons to delete people off your friends list but do you consider them being inactive or not as active as they once were a good enough reason? Do you delete people just because they don't respond to enough of your discussions or post enough of their own?
I tend to be a little picky about my friends list but I'm far from militant so if a member goes inactive I probably wouldn't even notice. But I have noticed that I have been deleted off others' lists and the only reason I can think of is because I wasn't responding much. Sometimes I'm on here all the time and sometimes a month will go by without me logging on. That doesn't mean my responses are any less valuable or that I care any less about the discussions, it just means I'm busy. It seems kind of silly to delete someone just because they aren't around as much. Can you imagine how you would feel if you were in an accident or something like that and were unable to use the computer for a few months and then when you did get online again you discovered you had no Mylot friends? That would be awful!
I just can't see what difference it makes if one of your friends isn't very active. It doesn't affect anything negatively so should that really warrant deleting them? I get that if someone hasn't logged in or posted for a long, long time (months, years) they probably aren't coming back but is not being around for a few weeks really bad enough to delete someone?
6 people like this
27 responses
@maezee (41997)
• United States
13 Jan 10
I think it's silly to delete someone from your list just because they aren't active. It's not like having active friends earns you more money, and that we should "weed" out the people who don't spend 24 hours a day here on MyLot! I honestly probably wouldn't notice unless it was someone that I'm used to seeing around A LOT. I'm pretty picky about my friends list (nothings wrong with that), but after they've been added, I rarely go back and delete them unless they're harrassing me or spamming my messages inbox or something. We all have lives and can't be expected to prioritize MyLot, so it seems a little ridiculous to delete someone just for the fact that they haven't been all that active lately. *rolls eyes*
2 people like this
@jesssp (2712)
• Canada
13 Jan 10
Those are my sentiments exactly. The only reason I delete someone is if they're spamming, abusive, offensive or if they start dozens of discussions that don't interest me at all - then neither of us are doing the other any good. If I have someone on my list and they don't do anything then I don't even know they're there (or not there). I agree with you about having a life outside Mylot too; it really isn't a high priority to me either, it's just a way to have some fun during boring days at work. I really can't imagine being involved enough to monitor my 'friends' activity to the minute and then deciding that they no longer make the cut based on that.
1 person likes this
@thedailyclick (3017)
•
13 Jan 10
I know where you are coming from and have a similar opinion. Even when someone on my friends list has been gone for months I generally leave them then on the off chance they return I will spot their come back quicker.
I generally only delete people from my list if they have had their account deleted but the link still appears. Plus on the rare occassion that a friend turns into a spammer I dump them from my list.
2 people like this
@highflyingxangel (9225)
• United States
13 Jan 10
I generally don't add friends if they have under 100 posts. That tells me they're just here to try and make fast money until they get bored and leave. If they have over 100 posts and almost 200, I'll probably add them. Then I'll check my friends off and on to see if their posts are increasing. If they are, they're safe. I don't like keeping people on my friends lists that aren't active. It clutters up my page and just makes everything a mess. I like organization. If they're not active here, there's not point in keeping them a friend.
1 person likes this
@jesssp (2712)
• Canada
14 Jan 10
I tend to be picky when I accept or send a friend request too; and you're right, you can usually tell if they're just here to make a quick buck. If someone has very few posts and has been inactive for a very long time then I can see deleting them but if they just aren't very active or only pop in now and then I wouldn't delete them for that.
1 person likes this
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
14 Jan 10
Hi Jess. No, I don't delete people from my friends list just because they are less active then they used to be. In fact, I've only deleted one person from my friends list in the time that I've been here, but it wasn't because of that.
You make a good point as to why some may become inactive in the first place. I've thought about this as well. This is one of the reasons why I don't delete inactive, or less active, members from my friends list to begin with. People have lives to lead and sometimes they have to put mylot on the back burner for whatever reason it may be.
However, as I see it, everyone mylot's differently. Some only want active members on their friends list, while others keep all of them on and don't bother to delete anyone. And that's their choice. As for those that have deleted you just figure it is their loss! LOL
Happy mylotting!
1 person likes this
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
14 Jan 10
Oh, and before I forget, I've seen inactive members that came back after being gone for months or even years. Okay, it was actually a year, but they still returned. So, it does happen sometimes.
@jesssp (2712)
• Canada
14 Jan 10
I would feel pretty bad if I deleted someone just because they weren't active enough and then they came back after a long hiatus, especially if a bunch of other people did the same thing and they came back to no friends. Sometimes things happen - people take trips, have medical problems or just want a break - I don't think that's a good reason to give 'em the boot!
@jesssp (2712)
• Canada
14 Jan 10
I would delete someone if their account was closed too but I doubt I would even notice! Other than that I only delete if someone's a spammer, offensive or I realize that we really don't have anything in common and I'm sick of seeing dozens of discussions that don't interest me.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
14 Jan 10
I don't always notice either, but sometimes I hear somebody's been banned. And once in a while I visit profiles.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
16 Jan 10
I've actually never deleted anyone off of my friends list. I actually don't tend to notice if someone goes inactive for a while. I do tend to invite people to be my friends because I see that they respond to my discussions on a regular basis or because I am responding to their discussions on a regular basis. However, if I see that they don't respond for a while I don't think that means they are no longer interested in the friendship, instead I think that they are busy in their real life and don't have computer time.
1 person likes this
@jesssp (2712)
• Canada
18 Jan 10
Exactly. To me the whole point of having Mylot friends is to have a list of discussions under 'friends started' that I know I'm going to be interested in and when I start a discussion I know I'm going to get quality responses. If a 'friend' doesn't do anything then I really don't even notice.
1 person likes this
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
14 Jan 10
I do a spring cleaning of my friends list maybe twice a year and then I do delete people who are not active …we all get so many friends request regularly so no point really in keeping people who are not participating, in our friends list and unnecessarily increasing it. There are one or two special ones who are no longer active but I just could not delete them and will never delete them as long as I am here. I keep hoping against hope for them to surface again…I remember them all so often…more than friends, they are wonderful people at heart and a joy to know.
@jesssp (2712)
• Canada
14 Jan 10
I like to just be a little pickier when accepting or issuing requests so I can weed out the people who are just here to make easy money and stuff like that. After they're on my list I really don't even notice them, or notice if they're active or not, unless they are posting discussions or replying to mine.
@balacancer22 (1148)
• India
14 Jan 10
As you are telling i'm also of the same option that even i dont delete my friends in mylot and i also dont care how much friends i have in mylot..i just try and add some numbers and leave it as such and never i would think about it again..i know that few of my friends who have been active when i joined this site three years ago there were lot of people whom i knew through this site but now they have vanished and i dont what happened to them now and i havent contacted them outside of mylot which makes it more difficult for me to contact them..
Happy Mylotting
@shaggin (71678)
• United States
6 Mar 11
No so far I have not deleted anyone on my mylot friends list. If I had done that to people who are not active you would no longer be on my friends list and when I went to search through my friends older discussions I wouldnt have come across this one. Who knows just becuase they arent active right now doesnt mean they wont come back so what harm does it do to have them on my friends list.
@jcj_111776 (3216)
• Philippines
14 Jan 10
No, definitely not. I'm not a very active Mylotter, too but that doesn't mean I deserve to be deleted. I was inactive in 2008 for almost 5 months. As much as I wanted to sit myself infront of the computer and visit Mylot, I couldn't.
I was pregnant that time and like my first pregnancy, I suffered from hyperemesis(excessive nausea and vomiting). All I wanted to do at that time was to sleep the nausea away. After the 5th month, I started feeling better. When I was sure I'm well enough, I started Mylotting again.
I wasn't sure if I still have my account to go back to. And I was glad to find out that there still was. And I was glad that the friends I was close with, did not delete me off their list.
I did delete someone in my list 3 years ago when I was still a newbie. But back then, I thought she really was gone for good. Because she stated in her discussions that she was fed up with this site. And she's been inactive for sometime. But eventually, she came back and was active for awhile, then she left again.
But I didn't delete her anymore... She's still in my list... if she ever comes back.
@marguicha (216466)
• Chile
14 Jan 10
I accept every person who wants to be my friend. But if they are not active for a long time, I delkete them so that I can keep track of the friends that are still here. It´s nothing against them, it´s a way of housecleaning. If they come again, I will recieve them with open arms.
Happy posting!
1 person likes this
@rosekiss (30380)
• Eugene, Oregon
13 Jan 10
Well, I feel differently, as if they are inactive for several months, and haven't even logged in in that perod of them, then I will delete them. I know it sounds petty maybe to do that, but most of the time, if they haven't been here for a very loong time, then they might have discouraged, and not planning on coming back. What i look at is their post count too, as that will tell me if they might thing about coming back or not. The ones I have deleted, had just a few posts, and probably got discouraged enough not to come back, and that is sad too,l but it dos happen from time to time. Good luck to you and happy mylotting. 
1 person likes this
@Bellerophon (539)
• United States
13 Jan 10
I do delete some, but only if they turn out to be morons, or if someone request a friendship then does nothing, or no explanation for why they requested to be friends? I believe if someone requests to be friends an I approve it, at least PM me and say why he or she requested it.
1 person likes this
@msfrancisco9369 (10002)
• Boston, Massachusetts
14 Jan 10
Hi Jess,
I will never do that. who knows in the near future they will come back and be active again... i don't want to miss their discussions too. i am not being nice here. i am just saying what's the real thing. i am preserving them all. all those invited me that i accepted and those whom i invited and accepted me they will always be there. no matter how long is my list they will stay there until i am in mylot!
@jayavignesh (43)
• India
14 Jan 10
this is really embarrassing .
Deleting friends for not active
tyrant personality
@venkatachary (1165)
• India
14 Jan 10
Out of sight, out of mind.But friendship can not be deleted. They may be out of mind but when they reunite, their friendship will be much stronger. So they can not deleted.
@pmbhuntress09 (1608)
• United States
14 Jan 10
No, I have never deleted any friends off my friends list. In fact on my old account, I only deleted those that were banned or left on there own and closed there accounts. I figured they were taking up space so I would remove them. Other then that no one got taken off.
