Dealing with stubborn people

@jesssp (2743)
Canada
January 27, 2010 4:14pm CST
How do you deal with people who are excessively stubborn, close minded, narrow minded or just plain obstinate? What do you do when someone around you has their own ideas about things and their own ways of doing things but are often totally backwards, and sometimes totally WRONG, but are also not very open to suggestion? I like things done MY way, I freely admit that, but if my way bothers someone or interferes with them directly then I am open to change. I really dislike dealing with people who do things that bug me or mess me up in some way but won't listen to reason when I suggest a different method. I don't generally get too pushy if I don't feel it's my place to but when it's in my home or at my job then I do expect people to respect 'my way', even if they don't agree with it (as long as it doesn't affect them adversely). How do you get people to listen to reason and at least respect 'your way' - even if they don't necessarily agree with it - when they are super stubborn? Do you have a hard time dealing with stubborn people? Are you a stubborn person yourself? I am in the position of being a stubborn person having trouble dealing with another (different kind of) stubborn person. I try to meet in the middle but don't really feel that I need to be overly flexible since it's on my turf, so to speak. How do you assert 'your way' without looking, and feeling, like a jerk?
3 responses
@dorannmwin (36611)
• United States
29 Jan 10
I think that all people are stubborn to some degree. The problem comes into play when there are people that won't bend at all. These kind of people, I really don't like to deal with and I actually try to keep my distance from them. The reason for this is that I like things to be done my way and in my time but when there is a reason that things can't go my way I am willing to compromise. I've come across many people in my life that are either unwilling or unable to compromise and those people don't stay in my life for a very long time.
@jesssp (2743)
• Canada
2 Feb 10
I make a very conscious effort to be flexible, because I'm not naturally. I would be quite happy if everyone just did what I want when I want and how I want but that just isn't going to happen, lol. I tend to be a little resistant to change and it's something I work on, which is why it bothers me when people won't bend the slightest little bit. It's like, 'hey, I'm stubborn too but I'm trying - why can't you?'
@jewels49 (1784)
• United States
28 Jan 10
I tend to be pretty flexible, and very much a live and let live sort of person. I also don't believe that there is only one way to do most things. I don't try to sway people to my way of doing something, if their way works , I'm good. I don't care about being in charge, as long as what is needed to get done..gets done.
@jesssp (2743)
• Canada
28 Jan 10
That's my issue though, what needs to be done either isn't getting done or it's not being done properly. I agree that there's usually more than one way of doing things and I'm willing to bend if the job is still being completed sufficiently, even though I do generally prefer things being done 'my way', but in this case the job's not getting done because of the way they are doing it. And they aren't interested in trying to do it a different way, which is what makes it frustrating.
@katsmeow1213 (24636)
• United States
27 Jan 10
I'm a lot like you. I like things done my way, and thankfully nobody except my kids really mess that up for me. I don't really handle other people well. Normally I'll just tolerate them while I have to, then complain later behind their backs. These days I steer way clear of confrontation, so I would probably not speak up no matter how much it was bothering me.
@jesssp (2743)
• Canada
2 Feb 10
I know that complaining about people doesn't solve anything but getting it off your chest sure helps. If I wasn't able to unload about other people to my husband or my mom I think I would explode.