Are internet relationships a hoax?

hoax, love - internet, relationships
@ronaldinu (12454)
Malta
February 15, 2010 11:10am CST
Have you ever been told "I love you?" from someone whom you have just met on the net? I am sure that it has happened to most of us here even though some of us are reluctant to admit it. Well an American friend of mine has fallen for a North African guy. When she told me about the story six months ago I raised my eyebrows. I did not tell her anything. Just told her to put some breaks when I learned she was packing for a holiday to his country to get married. I warned her cos of the age , cultural and religious difference but she said that this guy makes her happy. After spending a lot of money on the flight and on him, she is back to her country with a marriage certificate but he is still living in his country. I understand that it takes some time to obtain the necessary visas for him. But he is showing reluctancy to join her in US and even told her that he might apply for a divorce. Anyway leaving my friend aside what do you really think of internet relationships? Do you trust someone whom admits that s/he have feelings for you? What is your story?
10 people like this
31 responses
@savypat (20248)
• United States
15 Feb 10
Caution has always been my best friend when it comes to relationship. And for any Internet relationship that goes double.
@ronaldinu (12454)
• Malta
15 Feb 10
Caution seems to be the golden rule! and wise advice not to get bitten
2 people like this
@aredsani (41)
• India
15 Feb 10
i actually guess internet relationships are a hoax as anyone can change himself or herself and show u someone who is actually a lot diffrent
2 people like this
• United States
15 Feb 10
Love without real connection is based on opening up oneself and connecting your ego/self and to fill it in with someone who appears to be able to fill that void. Everyone has voids, that is not the point, the point is the phrase " APPEARS TO ..." Just as other things can fill the void, internet romances are another way to fill it with appearances. The cost can be huge to other relationships you have... make sure it is worth it - and maybe look to find other ways of recognizing and filling in the void.
2 people like this
• United States
15 Feb 10
Yes and no. Yes I trust that my best friend cares for me. He is in England and I'm in the U.s. We have been talking for years and we Are connected. But I did have a " romantic" relationship dissolve because of distance.We met online and it wasn't based on anything solid looking back and it was over quickly. I think it all depends on the two people involved. online relationships are like live ones . If the two people are honest with one another and they truly connect , it can last. But if one isn't honest , it disappears.
2 people like this
@hbk2244 (180)
• United States
15 Feb 10
If anyone tells you that they love you without spending any time with you one on one, they are full of you know what. You can have lust for someone you talk to on the internet on a regular basis but fall in love, no that's a hoax. People say "I love you" now a days like that say "What's up". Love is a hard thing to find.
@Shaun72 (15968)
• Palatka, Florida
15 Feb 10
I am not sure about trusting someone that I have not met in person. I have met quite a few men on here that like to flirt though. I have to met someone in person to know if I really like them or not. I have heard others say that they have met their true love online. I'm not sure what to think about it myself.
15 Feb 10
Hi ronaldinu, I wouldn't, as I am a married women for 30 years but I have heard of people having relation from the net and meeting uo, majority of the time it does not work or can be very dangerous, there are so many people being conned too, I have herad of someone this peson met this guy over the net and now he is living with her but won't move his a$$ to find work, he is just so lazy, if I meet him one of these days I give him what for, lol! Tamara
2 people like this
• Ireland
15 Feb 10
Well, the internet wasn't around when I was getting married but my son met his wife on the internet and they have now been happily married for 5 years. We are living in Ireland and my son told me he was going to the States for a holiday and meeting a friend whom he had met on the internet. He came back and went back again in October and when he came back again, he said he was getting married in December. He went back to the States and married the girl and then she came to live in Ireland. I must say that if I had picked a wife for him, I couldn't have picked a nicer person. My daughter also met her husband on the internet. He is Irish, and they have been happily married for six years. I suppose you meet the good and the bad everywhere and thankfully my two met two very nice people.
2 people like this
@cbjones (1157)
• United States
15 Feb 10
I've never experienced this. I find it hard to believe anyone could have truly strong feelings like that for someone they barely know. I get that there could be an interest in getting to know someone better, but you can't just flat out call it love. Some people become very desperate, and that may play a role in some internet based relationships going further they they probably should.
• United States
15 Feb 10
Hi, Ronaldinu! I am very skeptical of relationships beginning and blossoming on the internet. If people don't meet, at least by phone, and finally in person, they really don't know what's behind those e-mails. Even with those precautions, things can be iffy, at best. It's a huge, potentially dangerous thing to step into.
2 people like this
@rookiekan (883)
• China
16 Feb 10
your friend is so crazy.well i believe there are real love in the internet.but the most is the virtual love and if back to the reality,they will find the many problems.so to me,i will control my feelings to any strangers online until we met in the reality and later communicate often.dont trust so called internet love,they r so uncommon.
@ronaldinu (12454)
• Malta
16 Feb 10
I want call her crazy but a lonely woman who was searching for love and was fooled.
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15900)
• Australia
17 Feb 10
I don’t have an Internet love story but I have heard of so many people who have met someone special online. I suppose one needs to be cautious because a lot can be hidden behind an interesting avatar or user name and anyone can claim to be who ever they like but as far as being careful goes, I guess it is not all that different to meeting a stranger in a club. What also concerns me are those people who meet online and communicate via emails for while and then arrange to meet with the intention of getting married. I don’t know how a person can claim to be in love with another who he or she has never met, hugged or held hands with! I think if a couple is meant to be together they will meet even on the Internet and that is fine as long as caution and common sense don’t go out of the window.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84157)
• Shingle Springs, California
16 Feb 10
I think they can be real, but it's like any other relationship. You need to take the time to actually get to know the person. And in the case of somebody you met on the internet, you really need to visit them and get to know them in person.
1 person likes this
@ronita34 (3923)
• Canada
16 Feb 10
I don't think that anyone on the internet is really trustworthy at all. It is too easy to just lie to anyone over the internet and I would never trust what anyone had to say unless I actually know them in person. There are too many men out there and maybe women for that matter to that sit at home with wives and kids and play it up like they are single or divorced. I would never want to have my man do this to me therefore I would never want to hurt another woman in such a way. I think that a majority of internet loves are nothing but that INTERNET LOVES not much different then a fairy tale. No truth to it only fantasy and all the lies that one can muster up in there own little internet world.
1 person likes this
@tluanga (768)
• India
16 Feb 10
I dont think its a hoax ,cause i once had a relationship with someone who is thousands of miles away, we used to chat a mirc, send mails and photos to each other even gifts. And after having that kind of relationship after one year, we actually meet face to face.
@geniustiger (1699)
• Philippines
16 Feb 10
I think it depends upon each one of her lucks. Some are also successful with their relationship that started in the internet chatting. Not all are same experiences its normal that we have different situations happen in our path through that nkind of relationship. I know that we have different cultures so before deciding to marry see to it that you already study and know better your partner to be. But its really different to have someone which you know for a long time that you can be friends in actual and see each other compare in cam or ineternet only.Lucky are those who met each other in net that live together longer.
@derek_a (10903)
16 Feb 10
Yes, I have been told by someone that they loved me. I just stayed polite and said I didn't see how that would be possible as they didn't know me. We may get meet people on the Internet, but it's not exactly like meeting face to face. Then people need to take care and make sure if they are going to meet someone it is in a very public place and then take time in getting to know that person. _Derek
1 person likes this
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
16 Feb 10
I am not so quick to trust an online relationship but there are those that do. My instructor at school has actually just been married to a man she met online and acts as though she is the happiest woman on earth. I met my b/f online too but we did meet and spend time together before we advanced the relationship. I think there are a lot of things to consider when meeting someone from halfway around the world. Things can be very different in real life.
1 person likes this
• India
16 Feb 10
Hi friend, it happens so many time that two internet friends fall in love with each other, but most of the cases I know/heard are ended with a sad end, as said "The love is blind" and it is not just a statement it is a warning for all who are going to fall in love, a mirror for those who claim that they are in love with someone, when we love someone we are not able to see his/her negative aspects we feel him/her as the best person in whole world for us, we trust him/her like a blind person, we follow him/her as a mindless person, and this was happened with your friend too, she left all for his boyfriend and took some foolish steps and finally came back to the place where she was, concerning internet friendship I can trust someone but I don't believe in internet love, how is it possible to love someone without meeting him/her, without spending sometime with him/her, without knowing anything about him/her. I suggest everybody to beware with it.
@Sreekala (18781)
• India
16 Feb 10
Hi Ronald, How are you? I have not seen your discussion for a long time. Hope everything is fine with you. I think there is chance for both, means cheating as well as sincere. I know some people who met their partners through net and married later and still living happily. But these people belong to the same country. I am not sure about the long distance relations ship. Actually relationships are very hard to manage and getting to know each other is really difficult in case of net relations. Many are not ready to reveal their original identity and they can easily hide under the hoax identity because it is difficult to reach the person and know them directly. People should be more careful when they want to go with a deep relation. Taking utmost care is the best method to avoid cheatings.
• United States
16 Feb 10
Most of them are, yes. I say this because I have known people to have internet relationships and they never last, especially the long distance relationships, and I say because you never really know who is at the other end of that computer. You think that you know them, and you think that you can trust them, but you cannot trust anyone online. The best thing to do, if you really can, is meet people in person, and this is easier than you think. You can meet people almost anywhere: work, college, speed dating, religious organizations, political groups, shopping, malls, bars or pubs (you can be your future spouse here, but be careful about it), parties, restaurants, sporting events, conventions, Ren Fairs, gaming events... in fact, just about any place can serve as grounds for meeting people. The internet should be used as a tool to get to know the person that you have met face-to-face better. Also, by the way, be weary of men from Africa. They say that they are looking for a relationship, when in truth, most of them are just looking to scam you. I know this because I almost became the victim of two of them. You have to know what to look for.