Should a teacher be allowed to say bad things about a student

@Virgie60 (556)
United States
February 21, 2010 12:13am CST
My son graduated from High School in 2008. He had some health issues that made it hard for him to attend school and to do well in school. So he did struggle to graduate. But what I don't think is right is that his "geography" teacher will still talk about him to his current students and say things like "You don't want to get so far behind like (my sons name here) did because he almost didn't graduate" and "You don't want to be lazy like (sons name) and so you should stay caught up" This teacher has also talked about my sons friend "Bill" and has said that "We gave "Bill" the gift of graduation but now all he does is sit at home". I don't think he should be allowed to keep bringing up these past students as a motivational tool for his currents students. I think this is wrong. Especially since both of these students had health issues which caused them to get behind and not because they were "lazy or stupid" like he says. Should a teacher be allowed to talk about their former students in this way??
8 people like this
44 responses
• New Zealand
21 Feb 10
OF COURSE , I advocate bullying in any form (sarcasm) :) But srsly , this teacher doesn't even understand the meaning of "being professional". He(im assuming that he is a he), lacks all the qualities that would make him an approachable and effective teacher.He isn't empathetic; he's lower than low -___ -OMFG? picking on a student because there is no probable chance of retaliation. Coward , I say. Teachers should be kind and understanding that every student has different abilities. He's a hypocrite as well. Teachers stop bullies and yet he bullies students. So no , a teacher shouldn't be allowed to say bad things 'bout a student. Give this dog a taste of his own medicine :)
@Virgie60 (556)
• United States
21 Feb 10
I totally agree that this in unprofessional. I really would like to know where he attended college at that this is what they taught for motivating students. What kind of medicine could I give him???
• New Zealand
22 Feb 10
COMMIT 1st DEGREE MURDER~~~!! LOL :) My jokes are getting better~~~~~ Bully him? Find faults in his education? Or just beat him up. But expect assault charges :) lol. What is the penalty for assault? 1 week in prison? U can take that :) Or u could get his current students to bully him. That would help him to realise that bullying students is wrong. But I dont think that's within ur power. Unless , U have charisma :) Do u have charisma? LOL
@Virgie60 (556)
• United States
22 Feb 10
You have some good ideas (wink, wink)!! It makes me feel bad that this teacher is like this because he has gone through some situations himself. He has had cancer (so you would think that he would understand my son & his friend being ill), he has had identity theft on himself, and he has been hit by a train (really walked away without a scratch). So one would think that he could figure this out, that is not a good way to motivate students. Not sure if I do have charisma?! LOL
@erikmama (12935)
• United States
21 Feb 10
I am sorr that your son had to hear things from his teacher as he did. Whena person chooses to become an educator they should possess the mental aspects of it as well, and no, it is never right to belittle, downgrade, or otherwise spealk ill of one of the kids. I have ADD and would not have appreciates hearning remarks from my teacher, and if either oif my kids mafe me aware of such situation at their school I would have to fgo speak with the principal or superintendant, A teacher should act as a professional as they are suppose to be, and this is definatly not a professional moment. There could be a number of reasons for a child not doing well in school including health issues and noone especially a =teacher has the right to make fun.
@Virgie60 (556)
• United States
21 Feb 10
My son has two diseases which made it difficult for him to go to school. He had pain and when he didn't have physical pain he had emotional pain & suffering too. It also didn't help my son when his own doctor belittled him for his disease and told him that he was "using it to not go to school". This was so not the case. We dumped that doctor and went to the best in the country where he is now currently being treated. He undergoes an iv therapy every 6-8 weeks which cost about $4,000 every time he goes. So I would like to tell the teacher (and the doctor) do you think someone who is faking being sick would go through all of this therapy. I think not!!! Sorry for getting on a rant there but these professional people annoy me so much. I too know of a child that has ADD and he told me his teacher called him a retard. His Mother got plenty mad and raised cain with that school. Which is right. No one should call him a retard!!! Thanks for your reply.
1 person likes this
@erikmama (12935)
• United States
21 Feb 10
Again I am sory to hear that this happened to you. I had ADD and often it would affect me because I was embarrassed and people would look at me funny, and I know say things.I am glad that yuou did get him out of there. I wish you the best of luck and pray this never happens to you again.
• United States
22 Feb 10
Virgie, no teacher should use a former student as a target or to make a point. If she wants to say 'Like Student A' or 'Like Student B' without naming names, that's one thing, but to identify a student by name is wrong. As to your question 'do you think someone who is faking being would go all of this therapy?' yes, there are people who seem to thrive on being sick. I know that sounds weird, but that's how they get constant attention, which is more important than any therapy they might have to go through. I do not think your son is in this category, but there are definitely people who would go through literally any pain or discomfort to get the attention they crave.
@sid556 (31031)
• United States
21 Feb 10
Hi Virgie, No that teacher should not be talking about your son or his friend like that in an attempt to motivate other students. He has no business dropping your son's name like that regardless of the reason that your son struggled. Even if he were a lazy student, he should not be using him as an example. You should go to the principle with this. it is very unprofessional.
@Virgie60 (556)
• United States
22 Feb 10
I agree with what you said about "even if he were a lazy student, he should not be using him as any example". I think this is so true. Although my son was not lazy just ill alot, I stil fee that if a student is lazy then the teacher needs to step it up a bit and make the classroom more interesting so that the student would want to do more. And there could be all sorts of reasons why a student is "lazy". I think it is a teachers job to help all the students (even the so called "lazy" ones).
@lingli_78 (12860)
• Australia
21 Feb 10
definitely not... a teacher should act in a professional manner and never look down or make nasty remarks about the students... i will never tolerate it if a teacher do this to my child... i will definitely go to the teacher to demand for an apology and report this teacher to the principal... it is unbelievable that a teacher can do this kind of thing to the student... i feel sorry for your child... take care and have a nice day...
@Virgie60 (556)
• United States
24 Feb 10
You are right not professional at all. I feel sorry for my kid too that he still has to hear these things even after being out of school for almost two years!!
@TTCCWW (579)
• United States
21 Feb 10
It is not whether a teacher should be allowed to say things about another student it is that this teacher is not a professional and obviousley very poorly trained. That is not the correct way to motivate others and only demonstartes to other students that the teacher is not trustworthy. Examples for motivation should be historical or abstract. We see professionals in all walks of life do this but those folks did not go to school to becames professional trainers of others. This kind of educator needs to find another profession. This is professionally lazy.
@Virgie60 (556)
• United States
24 Feb 10
YES YES YES!! You are so right in that examples of motivation should be historical or abstract. Like when they always told us about Abe Lincoln walking to school and learning by candlelight or whatever. Professional lazy. This is the correct term for him. You got that right.
@coffeebreak (17827)
• United States
21 Feb 10
That's horrible. I would definately complain to the principle about that. Why don't he use it the other way around.. instead of as a threat to the kids.. say "see.. this kid had problems but he worked them through and kept up with his studies and he graduated inspite of things that kept knocking him down. You can too" or something like that. Kids these days have so much negative things to deal with in life, they need all the little positive things they can get. I had dealings with teachers when my kids were in school. Once a teacher had students grade papers and all she did was record the grade. I kept my daughters papers and followed her grades. When tests came home I'd review them. Turns out the student grading just marked ones wrong that werent and things like that. I asked my daughter but she said she didn't know the person grading the papers. I went to the teacher and complained and she said that she doesn't have time to grade all the papers. I said, "so that is your reason for giving my daughter a D instead of probably a B on this test?" )she did have some answers wrong) She just went back to "I don't have time" So I went to the Director of Teachers....showed him the test and papers and he had to agree with me. We had a meeting with the teacher and although he tried to "support" his teacher/co-worker, I held my ground and neither of them could validate why the student was marking things wrong that were right. I would pull the question and say the answer my daughter gave and say "why is that wrong?" and they both said "it isn't". I said "why was it marked wrong?" Neitheer could answer other than the teachers "I don't have time". LOng story short, she had to stop having students grade papers. I kept watching after that and things were right and my daughters grade came up to a B+ in that course. Seems she found time to do her job!
@Virgie60 (556)
• United States
24 Feb 10
Wow you go girl!!! That is awesome how you handled that. And it definitely did need to be handled. I mean a B instead of a D. Didn't this teacher realize that your daughters grades play into going to college later on. Even car insurance can be cheaper if your kid is on the B Honor Roll. Good for you for how you handled it.
@andy77e (5171)
• United States
21 Feb 10
Teachers have unions, and through them have tenure. My father was part of that union. Teachers can do pretty much whatever they want. The only chance would be a private school where you are a valued customer, instead of just another bothersome parent. The only other possibility is the school board, but that's a nightmare by itself.
@Virgie60 (556)
• United States
24 Feb 10
Well at least my son has already graduated from there so I no longer have to worry about High School for him. I just don't like it that he continues to bring up my son as a bad example. I am thinking about the school board but I don't know yet.
• Chile
21 Feb 10
Well, i think that the duty of a teacher is to teach, to make his student's learn. I see that teacher is giving him examples of "how you shouldn't be", and i don't think he is wrong. In the case that those other students had health issues too,....well....it's pretty obvius that the teacher is wrong and that is talking without knowing.
@Virgie60 (556)
• United States
24 Feb 10
Yes he was talking without knowing. He himself has had cancer so you would think that he would understand health issues a little more.
21 Feb 10
In my opinion this is totally unprofessional behaviour. I think teachers should be totally honest with students and their parents and if there was a problem with your son he should have talked it over with you. Then maybe something constructive could have been done to help your son - like arranging extra lessons or giving him work to do at home. But to criticise him in front of other students is appalling. I don't see anything wrong in using former students as an encouragement or warning - as long as they are not identified. In any case, if a student is "lazy" it's up to the teacher to motivate them.
@Virgie60 (556)
• United States
24 Feb 10
I agree with you totally that it is up to the teacher to motivate them. They need to figure out the best way to teacher these types of students. We all don't learn the same way. And we all don't have the same lifestyle, health, etc. When my son was going to this school I sent all the teachers letters stating what my sons health problems were and if they had any questions they could call, email, etc. There was only two teachers that did this. And this teacher was not one of them. I even asked his special ed teacher if there was a different way that he could take this class for ex. another classmate of his had had a brain injury and could not handle that class either so they taught him seperately but they would not do that for my son. I guess he was not that important to them. So he ended up failing a semester and had to go to another town to an Alternative Learning Center to make up that class. So glad that he has graduated.
@geniustiger (1699)
• Philippines
21 Feb 10
Teacher should say that to her student. Student absent if he has illness or something felt that he cannot go to school.The teacher should not say bad words for it can cause inferioty to them. She should ask and find out what makes his absences more and such. If that is the case she should consider because he had health problems. Examine first the student whats the main hindrance that he cannot report to school. She must encourage him to get well soon rather than saying unpleasant words.
@Virgie60 (556)
• United States
24 Feb 10
Yes I always feel that usually their is a reason for a students poor performance and it i the teachers job to try to teach even with these obstacles. Yes that may be a challenge but that is their job.
@chaijudin (506)
• Indonesia
21 Feb 10
That Teacher must got fired , Teacher = someone who teach , if he/she act like that that,s mean he/she don,t really know what is the meaning for being teacher , i have same problem too , i am a foreign student from Indonesia ,i study @ malaysia now , on new year i was very2 sad because my parents force me to leave my wife , they don,t like her , so i cry till i fall to sleep after that i can,t move my hand , so i go to hospital and the doctor said that my nerve / my back bone nerve got problem , i must do a treatment he cost me 4000Rinngit is about 12 million rupiah! or about 1200usd!, i am shock how can i got that much?, so i told my collage about this situation , and... with very easy they say i must follow my course like another student!, I take culinary course , i can,t move / even bend my finger and She just said like nothing happen ?, so i said to her will you give me a mark if i attend practical test and doing nothing there? she can,t say a word ,sometimes teacher act like they doing right thing , ok NO EXCEPTION ALL SAME!,and i said again who want to get illness or disorder? , she can,t say anything , I agree if you shoo that teacher , we must teach this kind of teacher even if they can teach other
@Virgie60 (556)
• United States
24 Feb 10
Oh man I feel for you that this teacher won't give you a break. That is too bad. I know my son had plenty of teachers that thought just because you have a disease I don't care you do your work. The one teacher even told us at a Special Ed meeting that "if my son was so darn sick why didn't you homebound school him". Which maybe would have been a good idea but no one told me about this option. But obviously the way she said it she thought that he really wasn't that sick. Keep trying to get some help at school there must be something that you can do. Is there a disability department that you could go to? Good luck.
@libramie (563)
• Philippines
21 Feb 10
Teachers should not allowed to say bad things to their students. Maybe you can complain about this because they have guidelines to be followed before rendering services. Teachers must be a role model not only in the school so as to our community. Children followed mostly what teacher say and we also consider them as a second mother.Therefore, they should show all the goodness, calmness and understanding to their students who have different behaviors and must treat equally.
@Virgie60 (556)
• United States
24 Feb 10
I am going to see what I can do about this matter. I don't want the teacher to get fired or anything but at the same time I think he needs to change his ways. Otherwise he will keep mentioning students that do poorly in school as a way to "motivate" his current students. And that is just not right in my opinion.
• Singapore
21 Feb 10
Saying bad things about a student might just simply make the student lose faith in studies though...however sometimes it might also motivate the student to study harder. Well my teacher cursed me in class before though...
@Virgie60 (556)
• United States
24 Feb 10
It would be different if my son was still in school but he graduated in 2008!!! Does he poor grades in that class have to keep following him?? This teacher is using my son as an example to motivate his current students which I think is wrong. Find a different way to motivate them, don't use my son!!! Too bad that your teacher cursed you. They shouldn't do that.
@tluanga (768)
• India
21 Feb 10
Thats definitely not a good concept to follow. I myself a teacher too and i did not do that. I used to be friendly with the students at the same time keeping some distance no to get too close. If we want to motivate the student also we have to used positive attitude like umm Jason was one of the best, he was sincere this and that and he got high mark also you should also be studying like him. Instead of he was bad she was bad you shouldn't be like him. The most important thing is teacher apart from there educational qualification should be train properly. Then only teacher will know the exact ingredients to motivate students.
@Virgie60 (556)
• United States
22 Feb 10
Being friendly without getting too close is a good idea. And motivating by saying positive things is another excellent idea. You sound like you are a very good teacher. Keep up the good work of teaching your students.
• India
21 Feb 10
Teachers should not do so.. even if she does it has to be done in a positive approach..
@Virgie60 (556)
• United States
22 Feb 10
i agree!
• United States
21 Feb 10
NO they shoudnt!! you should stand up for your child go talk to the principal tel him your situation and that you dont like what the teacher is saying about your child and have someone that proves that the teacher said those things. i think that is very direspetful to you and youre child there is alot of people out there that think its no big deal but it is! hope everything works out
@Virgie60 (556)
• United States
21 Feb 10
I was hoping that now being my son has been out of school for almost two years we were done with that darn school but I guess we aren't. I do plan on raising some kind of cain here because this is just not right. Thanks.
• Philippines
21 Feb 10
I don't think teachers should. First and foremost they should serve as good examples to their students, and have the role of inspiring students, not bringing them down.
@Virgie60 (556)
• United States
21 Feb 10
Yes I agree that he is not serving as a good example. I feel that he thinks this is a good motivational tool for his current students but as my son said "it must not be working that great for him if he has to keep using it year after year".
@dorannmwin (36609)
• United States
4 May 10
I think that it is definitely wrong for the teacher to insert names into the comments. I don't think, however, that there is anything wrong with something like this if they were to use a generic name for the student and never connect them in any other way with the year that they were in the class. I know when I was a junior in high school I dealt with some issues health wise that caused me to miss school several times. I had a teacher tell me point blank that I wouldn't be able to get better than C in her class unless I came to school more often. I only missed her class when I had doctor's appointments.
• Philippines
6 Apr 10
It is not right! I think you should talk to that teacher, what that teacher is doing is certainly not right. I won't let anyone to do that on my child, especially if he had some health issues. Or I think you should report it to the higher positions in the school.
@setsuna26 (2410)
• Philippines
2 Apr 10
I dont think thats a good idea to say at all. Just as most people would say teachers should be serving as a role model as well, the second parents of the kids that their teaching .Instead of saying such cruel statement they should be the ones providing positive values and teaching their students how to encourage others as well. Not making them feel bad bout their failures.