Disappointed with my boss? how do you deal .....

@dorothy09 (1520)
Philippines
February 22, 2010 2:25am CST
hi there friend, I come up with this discussion because right now I am so disappointed with my boss. hmmmmmmm.. I am a very deligent employee and I manage to make reports and submit on time. But she really dont know how to say WOW great job, others teams would tell I really made excellent Job. My boss is the type of person who does not really know how to appreciate to anyone he just increment our salary and thats it. She just work and we just talk thru emails. Somewhat I am just quite disappointed because I need encouragement to do more Good JOb. Thanks to department boss who really encourages me, but How I wish I could also hear from her those inspiring and encouraging words. When I am disappointed,I just write my sentiment in the paper and throw it away. I dont figtt back. She is my boss and I have to respect her and I believe it has something to do with her personal life, she is not happy. If you were me? how would you feel
5 people like this
16 responses
@smacksman (6080)
22 Feb 10
You have pride in your job, Dorothy, and that is really good. I have been in the same situation as you and overcame the problem by being self critical and judging my own work. If I felt that I could have done it better then I admitted it to myself and noted it down in my mind for future reference. However, if I knew that I had excelled myself and produced excellent work then I would pat my back and walk around the office with a big smile like I was the cat that had eaten the cream! haha You are doing the right thing to bottle it up. Just accept it as the way it is and be your own critic. Just wait till you take annual leave and see what your boss's reaction is after being without you for a couple of weeks!
2 people like this
@dorothy09 (1520)
• Philippines
22 Feb 10
hi snakman, it is already a standard procedure in the company to file your leave ahead, my boss does not take any excuse when we leave without advice. When we filed as schedule leave , she really remember and take not of it..and will get all he needed data also ahead, he even would like to share all my folders to her so that she will no longer ask my other officemates. She really make a way not to mingle to other person. thanks for the response...
1 person likes this
• Spain
22 Feb 10
hi to you! musta ka? well if i were you i'd definitely find some good ways to establish my name. or maybe it is not your time yet to shine! or maybe its a matter of mismatched with your job and peers. not your carier anyway as you just said you're more than performing in your job. as per her personal life, you can't do anything but if she seeks for your advice, why not give your compassion also. oki...
1 person likes this
• Spain
22 Feb 10
and i just want to add that acting tryingly just to please our bosses is not good. anyway i encountered one boss, my former boss, he is really fond of embarrassing someone in front of the others. i said embarrassing because he's really hard to deal with and awkardly pointing his mistakes to someone. anyway i think i am old enough to distinguish bosses that prejudices our growth!
1 person likes this
@dorothy09 (1520)
• Philippines
22 Feb 10
hi there , you know our language? ok lang ako hehehe My boss is just a looner and no interpersonal skills, he only works with her laptop and does not even speak. just give instructions thru emails. Its really challenging to us under her..but we love our Job.its just that we just wish she were better.. =d09:)
1 person likes this
• Spain
22 Feb 10
i've got 1 pinoy bosing dito... oo totoo.. anyway she is your boss and she can really be lazy if she wanted to. as long as we are doing our job in the right means to serve them better, why not think considerably. on what i know is that we do not have the right to impede and banter our bosses even a small amount of backchat or give and take if that is her interpersonal dealings... oki.. salamat
1 person likes this
• Boston, Massachusetts
22 Feb 10
Hi Dorothy, i understand your feelings but don't expect to much from your boss. there are really boosses who are not so good in affirming their staff. as long as you know yourself as it relates to how you perform your job is already a great on to your self-affirmation. at least you have nice people around you who can attest on to your ability as a diligent person. take it as a challenge. may be you need to do some more. now, if you think you already give your all and you still feel the same, maybe it's not the right job for you. don't let your work stress you so much. you must be happy with your work and be able to establish and maintain an healthy boss-staff friendly but professional relationship!
1 person likes this
@dorothy09 (1520)
• Philippines
23 Feb 10
hi msfrancisco, thank you so much for the response, agree whats important is that I have done my job well, and she may not tell me verbally but with salary increase and without firing me I know I have done a good job.. LOL Have a great day
1 person likes this
• Boston, Massachusetts
23 Feb 10
i like your positive attitude in handling disappointments. always try to look at the positive side of things and it will surely ease the negative feelings and will be replaced with a SMILE!
@dorothy09 (1520)
• Philippines
23 Feb 10
thank you so much msfranciscom, I also believe positive attitude drives us to success. and a heathier lifestyle.. See you around mylot. cheers =d09:)
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (84588)
• Boise, Idaho
22 Feb 10
I certainly do know how you feel. I remember working for a woman who was this way. It was always we could do better no matter what a good job we would do. It is hard to take. Do you have any mediator department or anything like that? There any really any way I can think of to change this situation for you unless you have a type of meeting occasionally that askes for any improvement ideas. I would use that forum. Or ask your immediate supervisor.
@dorothy09 (1520)
• Philippines
22 Feb 10
hi celticeagle, thanks for the response, Yes she was a looner and I can see her hiding and fear to show herself,express her feeling. She is intelligent and smart, she had a bright ideas, if only she communicates and is willing to take suggestion verbally not in email. The better we can come up with strategies and answers to concern. She just wanted to sit all day, and when its lunch time she eats alone. She does not mingle to other bosses also. Hopefully watever her issues personally she can cope up for her team is also affective. So funny, she might not know the new hired employees or she has a picture of her team members.. =d09:)
2 people like this
@celticeagle (84588)
• Boise, Idaho
23 Feb 10
That is simply said. She could do alot to add to her monetary and personal intake. Some people are just strange. Especially bosses.
@dorothy09 (1520)
• Philippines
23 Feb 10
She is strange LOL.. I dont know how is she able to pass any assesment, or any appraisal because when you say you are a boss you should have a great interpersonal skills.. Have a great day to you and Happy mylotting
1 person likes this
@pandaeyes (2068)
22 Feb 10
That can be very demoralizing. If you have a personel liason person maybe you could suggest that the boss have messages of encouragement that are given to the good performers. Some people don't know how to give praise even when they are impressed and even just a generic message of thanks is better than nothing.
1 person likes this
@dorothy09 (1520)
• Philippines
22 Feb 10
hi there pandaeyes, I am always up to a chanllenge always to any task given to me.Even how hard that would be but with simple thanks is enough to me no need to say anything just thank you is okay with me..to my boss my wish, we always just wanted her to atleast speak to us or scold us verbally, She even dont want to. No question about how she works because really she has a brilliant Ideas.But sometimes you have to get out of your shell to take the stress. SHe dont even speak with other boses, Yes she is professional. But with no interpersonal skills. I just wish she will be better..we are not lossing hope with her... we wanted to see her laugh out Loud. =d09:)
1 person likes this
@pandaeyes (2068)
22 Feb 10
Could be she is very self conscious . One of my bosses a long time ago was very shy and would smile or nod but rarely said anything.
1 person likes this
@dorothy09 (1520)
• Philippines
23 Feb 10
hi pandaeyes, I just see her very strange, a loner and sometimes I can think she is a lonely person, and she live a miserable life, I even heared she has a big house, she lives by herself with housemaids. as I mention she is separated and his only son is with is husband. She might also hiding something from his life.. I pity her sometimes, everybody is laughing including other boss from the department,but she just wanted to stay in his room. Have a great day and happy mylotting
@ckyera (17202)
• Philippines
23 Feb 10
hello dorothy, well i guess most of us do feel disappointed with our superiors at one time or another. but we can force them to be as appreciative as we wanted, maybe she have her own way of showing her appreciation, different boss have different personalities. same with all other people... by the way, is she your immediate superior? maybe she just send her appreciation through other things or other people. something like that. just continue your good working attitude and who knows one day, she will just approach you and say...'dorothy, its job well done, congrats!'
1 person likes this
@dorothy09 (1520)
• Philippines
23 Feb 10
hi ckyera, I did hear from her saying dorothy great job and well done but only in emails, thats why I wish to hear from her verbally a thank you. I dont know why she really wanted to be silent all the time and will just be infront of her desk always. I wanted to tell her Miss there is life outside your room LOL...anyhow, might be if whatever issue she is into right now I wish her all the best.. have a great day and happy mylotting..
1 person likes this
@ckyera (17202)
• Philippines
24 Feb 10
well, different boss have different personalities and way of handling their people. so maybe that's just her personality...and as i read in the post above, you said that she also mail you when she's mad? so i guess she's just like that or she's just lazy to talk! haha are you sure she's not mute? just kidding!
1 person likes this
@rsa101 (13344)
• Philippines
22 Feb 10
Well for some that kind of a boss is a very common thing. I think for as long as she gives what is due you it is okay. But I would hate her if she just uses you and never gets any credit from you. But I think she is okay for me, there are a lot more worse boss that yours is. I think that you may start befriending your boss and she may open up with you. I think she just needs to find something to connect with you so she can freely express her feelings with you.
@dorothy09 (1520)
• Philippines
23 Feb 10
hi rsa101, might be she just need to find someone who can connect, she really have an issue with her life and she hides from her shell. But If I were her, I will open up. Problems and issue could never be resolve alone, You need opinions, and help of others to do better decision. Im hoping someday she would say to me come to the office and lets talk. thats a WOW.. LOL
1 person likes this
@rsa101 (13344)
• Philippines
23 Feb 10
Well I guess there is this thing about bosses. They tend to keep distance with their lower rank people so to avoid being talked about conniving with her lower ranked employees. I think that is what she needs to learn that there is nothing wrong if she would steep down with her staff once in a while so to loosen the stiffness of the boss-staff relationship.
22 Feb 10
Have you asked your boss about this? Perhaps she doesn't realise how you feel. Our boss was the same, but now she is much better since she knows that we need to hear positive things sometimes. And if she is alone all the time perhaps, even though she is the boss she is very shy.
1 person likes this
@dorothy09 (1520)
• Philippines
23 Feb 10
hi there friend, I dont think she is that really shy, because I can see her during meetings and she presented, she really is a good presenter and has the confidents. Might be she just opted to be private person. and work and work and work. but for me sometimes you have to reach out to your staff and know there needs. hmmmm
23 Feb 10
In presentations you can act though. You learan to do that particular thing. You can give good presentations and still be shy. I agree that she should reach out to her staff. But I guess at the same time, even though she is the boss she still has things to learn - and as much as she can help her staff, they can help her too and let her know when things aren't quite right. I really hope you get it sorted - it's such a pain when you don't have a good boss. M
• Philippines
22 Feb 10
Well, don't mind her. I mean, maybe she is just not the showy or the expressive type. Though I think she is trying to show that she appreciates your work by increasing your salary. There are just some people who are not really expressive and don't know how to show their appreciation to other people, though it doesn't mean that they don't appreciate what you do. Just know in yourself that you are doing a job good, and that's will get you through it.
@dorothy09 (1520)
• Philippines
22 Feb 10
hi ingkingderders, thank for taking time to respond on my psot again,agree with you I am doing a great Job and she increases my salary LOL.. But sometimes its just that I couldn't help it but to wish she were better.. If only, I will be more productive
• Philippines
23 Feb 10
well, I guess you just have to make do with her. Hehehehe. Atleast she is not an evil boss that some people have..
@dorannmwin (36609)
• United States
23 Feb 10
I know exactly how it feels to have a boss that is like that because my unit manager when I worked at the hospital was the kind of woman that never praised her employees for a job well done. I would get frustrated about the fact that she couldn't find a way to praise us, but I certainly didn't let it bring my work down because I knew that there were more important people that did thank us for our work, that was my patients. If it hadn't been for the patients at the hospital I don't know how long I would have been able to last with that job.
1 person likes this
@dorothy09 (1520)
• Philippines
24 Feb 10
hi dorannmwin, yes I was also thinking I dont need her praises or acknowledgement to work well but sometimes come to a point thinking I am better than what I am not if I hear directly from my boss words of encouragement.. anyhow I receive feedbacks and acknowledgement from other team but its different if you heard it with your direct boss. thanks for the response.. Happy mylotting... Have a great day to you... =d09:)
1 person likes this
@lingli_78 (12860)
• Australia
23 Feb 10
well, i can perfectly understand how you feel... sometimes we need to hear some kind of encouragement words from our boss to make us perform better in the future... i also seldom hear those words from my boss no matter how hard and well i perform... at least you can still hear some encouragement words from your department manager... anyway, i tell myself not to hope too much to hear those words anymore and just perform as best as i could... God will see it and i prefer to be praised by Him when I met him later rather than be praised by humans... this is my opinion only though... take care and have a nice day...
1 person likes this
@dorothy09 (1520)
• Philippines
23 Feb 10
hi lingli, cheers we have the same situation I guess, whats important is we have done our Job well, my wish for them is they have to enjoy life and enjoy the company of other people LOL..my boss just seem to passive at all times. Good thing with her when she gets mad she just email us. heheh you take care also and have a great day..
1 person likes this
@junmae (1562)
• Philippines
23 Feb 10
Well it doesn't matter for me if my boss doesn't recognize my work as long as my salary is great and equal to the job that I had done. Unfortunately, my boss also doesn't recognize me as well as my salary. I had a lot of work and sometimes I give revenue to the company, bu what she did was she increases her salary because of the revenue that I had put in the company. That is so annoying and I am planning to resign.
1 person likes this
@dorothy09 (1520)
• Philippines
23 Feb 10
hi there, partly it matters to me, for I am used to have a friendly environment, I have been working with her for almost 2 years but still Im hoping she was better and would be better..I just want her to smile and communicate us verbally not only in emails..well might be she opted to be alone all the time and I respect. but sometimes I just cant help to get disappointed, Im just thankful I have a lot of officemates and I enjoy my Job. Have a great day and happy mylotting.
@Opal26 (17694)
• United States
23 Feb 10
Hey dorothy! I know exactly how you are feeling and it really sucks! It is so frustrating to want to hear that you are doing a great job from someone who won't even bother giving you the time of day! I have had that problem at many jobs! It just makes you feel so worthless even when you know that you are doing the best job that you possibly can! And all that you want is just a little acknowledgement! It is a very miserable and frustrating feeling! But, unfortunately there are alot of very miserable people in this world and they seem to be the ones in "charge"! I don't pretend to understand it and hate that it seems to work out that way! Just keep doing what you are doing and hopefully someone in the right place will notice!
1 person likes this
@dorothy09 (1520)
• Philippines
23 Feb 10
hi there opal thanks for the response, I cant consider it as problem indeed, yesterday I was just disappointed with her. whats important to me now is I am doing my job well and I just let her be what she opted to be. Happy mylotting and see you around mylot.. Have a great day
1 person likes this
@skysuccess (8884)
• Singapore
22 Feb 10
dorothy09, Let me assure you that your boss is not "blind" and insensitive to your work rate and attitude which is quite credible from what you've posted here. However, I hope that you would remember that her pensiveness and personality is really an individual thing. Also, if I may remind you that it is a tough job out there for every "boss" especially during this economic weather where we could not afford to let down our guard, where any or rather just one wrong decision can devastate the company and result in a hemorrhage fatality. Your boss may be impersonal and does not seem to appraise readily but let's not forget that this has already been delegated to your department manager. So, I am sure that your contributions are not and never in vain and be assured. Also, please remember that you are part of a team and as long as you live up your part of the bargain - the company will never be at the end of the food chain. Take care and have a nice day. “The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes.” - Charles R. Swindoll.
@dorothy09 (1520)
• Philippines
23 Feb 10
hi sky, thank you so much for the very detailed response and wonderful quote. well that life, we are not the boss so we had to have patience, perserverance and courage. Positive attitude always for success and heatlthier lifestyle.. Have a great day to you also.. and Godbless. Happy mylotting
1 person likes this
@illfavors (592)
• United States
22 Feb 10
I think we all have disappointments every once in a while with our superiors. I guess we sometimes forget that they have to work too and their jobs aren't that easy. Maybe just having a nice open conversation with your boss to express your feelings might help ease the tension.
1 person likes this
@dorothy09 (1520)
• Philippines
23 Feb 10
hi ill favors, She does dont even find a way to talk to us and we dont talk verbally either.. all of us in office, during break time when other bosses are talking to us and we laugh never did we experience she join us. and no one also dares to invite her she might not like it also.. quite wired, but what we wanted and wish is for her to be better.
• Philippines
22 Feb 10
hello dorothy, Probably that's how she was brought up to during her early days in work, some people aren't as lucky as you that you get to get complements from other employees. what if this person wanted to help you exert more effort and not let that compliment get in the way of your usual work. some people are like that, they just let you do your work, and when they feel that you are ready for the next level then that's the time she will assign you for a heavier load of work. am sure she has trouble expressing herself, not to let her guard down
@dorothy09 (1520)
• Philippines
22 Feb 10
hi letranknight, I agree with you she has trouble expressing herself. I can undertand her in a way but we just wish she was better. She just can get along all the people in the office, She opted really just to in front of her notebook , do emails to ask , ask data and we just wish she was better like to ask us verbally what she need. She cant even smile....duhhhhhhhh :( Well even if she dont talk, she had rewarded me with salary increase every year and even promoted me to higher position. But I just cant help sometime to be disappointed because I want to speak. I am better expressing myself verbally than writing. But she likes the opposite. But so far all is well with us... Thanks for the response and have a great day to you.. See you around mylot....