Boyfriend is poor?how can she do?

China
March 8, 2010 7:25pm CST
my best friend is now in trouble about her boyfriend?They get on well each other and they both consider they belong to each other and they are the best couple in this world.But this man once told her his parents are all teacheres in the village,but however she found he lied, his parents are all very poor.My friend felt if he is poor how can they live in this city comfortablely and buy house,car.Maybe she is very harsh but it is real,many friends have the same question.can they love each other like before without money?
2 people like this
18 responses
@Lochoa (222)
• United States
10 Mar 10
first of all he shouldn't have lied and secondly if your friend was only with him b/c she thought he had money she's scandalous! Who does that and claims they really loved that person? I don't get it! He was probably really embarrased and would only tell someone the truth when he really felt comfortable and now that he had he gets turned down. This is so sad! If it really doesn't work out with her then he;ll be so embarrased the next time around. Money doesn't buy happiness but it does buy choices. If they truly love each other they will make it work. People grow their lives together
@rosegardens (3043)
• United States
9 Mar 10
If he lied to her about this, what else will he (or has he) lied about? Maybe he was trying to impress her to get her interested, however if it is based on a lie than I would question everything that comes out of his mouth. Your friend makes a good point about needing money to live on. She does have some wisdom. If they are young and he is ambitious and not lazy perhaps things will get better financially. But, he lied. Happy Mylotting!
@scja16 (323)
• Philippines
9 Mar 10
Money wont matter if the girl really loves the guy. And obviously the main reason why the guy lied because maybe he dont want to lose the girl. Some people may say that money matters since they are just being practical but i know if God want that to happen regardless on what kind of precaution we do in life it will still happen. If he is meant for her then they will stay together. You can give advise or ask her if she is happy but i was hoping that the guy will open up with your bestfriend. God bless for the both of you and for her relationship
• Israel
9 Mar 10
Being poor is a state of mind. Having money can depend on many factors and can change with the right attitude and effort. Lying is a much greater problem. Lying creates a false sense of reality and usually ends up in disappointment and trouble. People who feel that they need to lie often have a problem in coming to terms with reality and with solving problems. It becomes easier to lie then to solve problems. This can become very dangerous. People who lie about one thing often lie about other things. There can be no sense of trust or security in such a relationship. Unfortunately, my advise is that your friend terminate the relationship and only allow it to restart on a "zero lies" policy. If the partner has a problem committing to such a relationship then walk away while you still can. Good luck
• United States
9 Mar 10
well I think we have to define what means being poor for you, if it is the fact that his family is poor, that doesn't mean he has to be poor, he can have a nice profession, I am not rich, I came to this country with nothing, and now I have a very good job, I am professional. But if you tell me that this guy doesn't have any ambitions in life, that he doesn't have any desire of prosperity, then I would say there is a problem. Because lets face it, you need more than love to make a marriage work.
@cloud31 (5811)
9 Mar 10
This is an interesting topic, If she loves her bf just because he pretended to be rich then its not really good, but even the bf lies about his family status if he really love the guy they can still continue loving each other..If you base the love in life status then that is not a real love... Happy myLotting!
• Philippines
9 Mar 10
Being poor is not a sin however, if someone claims or pretend to be rich, that is a different question... Why hide the truth and pretend to be what he or she is not... I think the question there is "trust" and "honesty"... Yes I agree that we are all concern to our future and our future kids too but I believe if the love is strong and true, even if the boyfriend or girlfriend is very poor, one wont mind and would still accept the person... But of course, it all depends on the maturity of the person. He must have ambition too and be responsible.
@visijay32 (447)
• Philippines
9 Mar 10
The guy is poor, as your friend said. However, does the guy have a dream? You see, it is not a sin to be poor but to REMAIN POOR is a SIN. Why did I asked if the guy has a dream? If a person has a dream and it is matched with passion poverty is not a question, it is all a state of mind. Advice your friend to ask her boyfriend's dream and help him to achieve them. Now would it be great if the two of them help each other? In that way also, through helping one another, the bond of love will be much stronger. We cannot judge the guy if he lied, he wanted to love and be loved in its purest sense. On the other hand, there is an inconvenient truth about having money in the relationship. Money is a channel in which a lover can express through material things feelings buried deep inside. Money is needed to provide shelter, nourishment, and clothing. I would advice your friend that their economic standing should be set aside but they must have their own dreams together and making it sure that their dreams will come true.
• Philippines
9 Mar 10
first and foremost is that their relationship was not established by truthfulness. its true poverty doesn't hinders us to achieve what we want in our life. in a relationship we should start it with an honest motives. how could we be straight in our life if it starts it in a crooked manner. even though how poor a person is if he have the determination to uplift his quality of life and to his spouse and to his family then fine. but if it starts with deception then for sure their life will be miserable. honesty and integrity goes hand in hand. so its better that we tell the truth and what is our status in life to the one we love. so there will be no more regrets with each other.
@sid556 (31003)
• United States
9 Mar 10
hi huirose, Your friend only had a problem with his lack of money once she found out about it. For that reason, I'm guessing that your friend does not love this guy as much as she says she does. She is looking for someone to take care of her and provide for her from the sounds of it. The fact that he lied to her is also a red flag. He should have been straight with her from the start and then he would have known that his money or lack of it was an issue for her. Maybe he did know and that's why he lied. Anyway, it doesn't sound like a great relationship.
@ebuscat (5949)
• Philippines
9 Mar 10
For me love is blind if they are both industrious and supportive with each other then there marriage happy even if they are poor.
@madteaparty (2761)
• Japan
9 Mar 10
Money isn`t everything in the world. Loving a person means you love that person him or herself, and not his or her money. In a relationship both parties have to find the way to solve economical problems, as not only one of the sides should be the economical supporter.
• China
9 Mar 10
It's definitely impossible to live well on nothing. I wonder if your friend has a job or not. Her boyfriend's poor family background does not mean she and her boyfriend will be poor forever as they can't rely on their parents all the time. They have to live on their own sometime. As long as they work hard, they'll surely have the chance to be better off in the future.
@cutepenguin (6457)
• Canada
9 Mar 10
I agree with the previous response where the person mentioned the lying. Being poor is something that one can work their way out of, but if he's lied to her, then how good of a husband will he be?
• Philippines
9 Mar 10
in the first place the guy already lied to her. i know love speaks no boundaries but your friend must also think of what life is now, life now is so hard. they might be happy but what happened if they have kids already and the guy dont have enough job to support his family and bring his kids to good life. if she think that the guy is good enough nor responsible enough and if she can see that he tried to do something like his a hard working person then its really depends to he now.
• Philippines
9 Mar 10
i think your friend is trying to be practical as well,because it is really hard to build a family and provide their needs when both are not financially stable. but i guess,this is not the basis to lost the love she had with her boyfriend. if there is one thing that truly hurts her is the lie her boyfriend made about the financial status of his family. her boyfriend is giving her false hopes and trying to be somebody, which he is not. money can be found if one have to work hard but a love tinted with lie is difficult to pursue and fight for.
@skbrence (476)
• Philippines
9 Mar 10
Hi there huirose... How do you and how does your friend define Love? Love isn't money... Money isn't that important with Love... If you do know that famous saying, "Love Conquers All..." then you and your friend would surely realize and answer your own question... If your friend's love decreases just because of money... then your friend doesn't deserve to love or to be loved... Sorry for the terms... Truth really hurts... =))
@salonga (27955)
• Philippines
9 Mar 10
If she loved her boyfriend because she thought he was a rich guy and now that he found out he is poor she is having problem loving him still then your friend has problem. I don't think money is a requirement to love someone. Loving is a feeling that does not require any money or any material back up to keep going and growing. Of course if the guy is poor then that does not mean he will be poor all his life. Once they've married it is up to them to make their living productive. I and my husband both came from poor family, and we both finish schooling through our own effort and diligence. As we finished schools we both work to rise above poverty and when we married we doubled our effort so that we could attain a comfortable living. By the grace of God, we succeed. We are not super rich but all our needs are provided and we are living comfortably.