how much can you SACRIFICE for you friend?
March 9, 2010 10:52pm CST
they say when we love our friends we have to tel him/her the truth no matter how difficult/harsh the truth may be. but how much can we sacrifice for our friend/s? this is the dilemma i am facing when i was not allowed to talk to my friend (due to legal implication), i failed to warn her of what is coming of her. i was like, turn between my desire to talk to her and discuss with her possible outcome of her behavior and fear of getting implicated for what she has done. on the process i feel that i am a failure as a friend. that i have not done anything to save my friend - she was terminated from her job. can i be at fault? what can you say?
2 people like this
• United States
11 Mar 10
Hi Alexysabelle, You are NOT responsible for your friends behavior. It had to have been serious if you were legally told not to talk to her. I've had friends do things at work too and I might talk to them on the side but if the boss is already on to them then it is too late. If they are doing something illegal then they know full well the consequences if they get caught. They are responsible for their own actions and you should not jeopardize your own integrity or your job for the sake of anyone at all. Stop beating yourself up. Your friend did this to herself.
11 Mar 10
Yes, we must not hide with friend we love most. Friends will welcome each other's company and exhibit loyalty towards each other. I think and I am sure you will be agree with me that a sacrifice is something that a person gives up in order to help him or somebody else. A person who makes a sacrifice for a friend will do something that he might not want to do in order to help his friend. Whatever you are doing is what needed to be done. If she doesn't behave properly even though she knows you are her friend then it's her fault. She must understand and one day she will realize the same. A friend is an unique gift to all of us and friendship is something special that we cherish in our hearts but when its aspect is negative then it could happen when someone does something to hurt you. The day you get betrayed by trust, it was the day that you lost all her trust for you. I believed that you would take care of your heart and that's why you left it with that.and you did the right thing.
• United States
10 Mar 10
I don't fully understand the situation but if you couldn't talk to your friend b/c of some legalities then it's not your fault. Plus people are adults and should know what's best for them. I never tell people what to do only give good/bad scenarios and let them choose from there. And being a good friend means different thing to different people. I'm no ones babby sitter and if thats what someone wants me to do for them then I guess I'm not a good friend. I would just try to think "if I could've changed the situation at all what would it have been and would it have made a true difference" if not then you shouldn't feel bad, if so then I can understand why you would feel bad
10 Mar 10
Hi alexysabelle. I don't think that you have given enough information. I could not make up my mind if you have failed your friend or not. But whom am I to judge another person. If I Have understood you correctly she has been terminated from her job and you feel that you could have warned her of her wrong doings but you could not. It seems you were not allowed, for example you have work ethics to follow and you could not say anything to her about her behavioiur at work. If this was the case, I don't think you were at fault. It is not that you did not want to warn her but you could not. I do believe that everybody is a grownup and should take responsibility of his or her actions. So stop blaming yourself
10 Mar 10
Hello Alex. Really sad to hear the news about your friend. For some part we as friends have responsibilities over our friends. But this isn't always an easy task since we are sometimes caught in a tricky situation where it's either we put ourselves at risk or we put them, like what happened to you. You can't blame yourself for what happened since there were legal implications that kept you from doing so. You probably feel bad but there were restraints placed upon you. I do think you could have done better if there weren't any legal things that put you at stake. I also believe what you did hasn't made you less of a friend. You grieving and feeling guilty for what happened just goes to show your genuine concern for your friend, and that's what makes you a real one. Maybe you can still help her out even after what happened?