i hate my brother's girlfriend

Philippines
March 25, 2010 11:09pm CST
My brother has a girlfriend of almost 10 years. It's an on and off relationship for them but I think their more serious now. The problem is that I don't like the girl even for just a bit. I mean she's pretty and all but her attitude is one really one for the books. She's arrogant and obnoxious, over jealous and insensitive. My parents and my sister also hate her. But we all can't do anything because my brother is too in love with her to see who she really is. Any advice to get her out of our lives?
2 people like this
15 responses
@mimiang (3777)
• Philippines
26 Mar 10
Allow him to be free of his lovelife. It is his life, anyway.
• India
26 Mar 10
Exactly right mimiang, we should always try to make our moves and decisions right and proper in life, rest everything will follow itself, that's for sure.
@jorish (18)
• Philippines
26 Mar 10
oh!i though im the only one who have a dilemma about this...we have the same situation, we her hate her so much but she can't feel it...even though we will not talk to her and pretending that we didn't see her she keeps going to our house..oh god! she's unbelievable, her attitude everything about her is....she is the one who always bring commotion in our family..how i was that their relationship will end so soon...
• Philippines
26 Mar 10
Thanks. It seems that I share the problem with most of the respondents of this topic. I thought this was uncommon. I guess I have to live with it because I don't see my brother wanting to break up with the girl. I told him about what I feel about her but he just thinks I'm over-reacting. My mom and sister has already resigned to the fact that they'll be married soon. Although it is strange that he hasnt asked her to marry him yet. My brother is turning 28 and she's 25. My brother says he want to get married after he turns 30, that's about 2 years from now. How I wish something would come up to change his mind.
• Netherlands
29 Mar 10
Well 10 years is just such a long time. Why did they not take the next step. If he's in love and he's happy with her, then I would advice against trying to do something to get rid of her. But if she has destructive influence maybe you should try to expose her for who she really is and open your brother eyes. Or just introduce him to another girl.. maybe after the next scandal with his gf?
• China
27 Mar 10
sadly no. my sister was getting married at ten years ago,and none of us like the boy.he is rude and irresponsible.he had already insulted his future mother in low by his words &his actions.but for my confusing and angry ,all of my families tried to be nice to him,especially my mom.two years later,he started to be nice to us.so far,we get along well with each other.so,you see,your brother fell in love with her.the one thing you should do only is tring to be nice to her.i believe she will be moved ultimately.
@trisha27 (3498)
• United States
27 Mar 10
The only advice that I can give to you, is it won't matter how much advice that you can give to him, he is still going to do what he wants to do and that includes being with her. I suggest that you sit down with him you and your family and let him know how you each feel and take it from there. One thing though, just stand behind him on whatever decisions that he makes no matter what it is. It is best though that all the people that feel the exact same way you do voice their opinions about her as well. Make sure that he is alone of course and not do it in front of his girlfriend. It is best that he hears it from other people as well, because if he only hears it from you then he will think that you are the only person that don't like her and he won't step back and see if this is the right person for him. Good luck.
@randy80 (36)
• Sweden
26 Mar 10
Well My friend, I can advice you only one thing. Treat your brother as you like and leave him to his passion, he will learn it even if it is the hardest way. We all learn out of our own mistakes this is the way live goes. But the most important is to keep your brother close to you because in the end it is YOU who will stand by him when he discovers that love is realy blind.
26 Mar 10
Sorry but after all this time I think you are going to have to accept the fact that your brother loves her and he is happy with her. There is nothing you can do, and it may prove to be a bad idea to try and interfere any more as your brother is likely to resent it. I guess you are going to have to learn to live with her
@besthope44 (12145)
• India
26 Mar 10
Hi friend, i can understand the way you feel. But what i suggest is its your brothers life, he is in deep love with her. So it doesnot matter we like her or not. Her character is liked by your brother and their wavelength matches means, just leave it. May be u and ur family can stay away from them and just maintain a length of gap. So please forget her, after all its your brothers wish!
@madteaparty (2762)
• Japan
26 Mar 10
I can understand that you want the best for your brother, but you can't really choose his partner, as that's only his decision. Love is something too strong that can sometimes blind us, so maybe it would be better trying to provoque a situation that would show the real her in front of your brother so he might open his eyes a little. I don't know if this might work, but you don't lose anything for trying.
• Hong Kong
26 Mar 10
that is obnoxious and evil girl, all of you should do is treat her a simple and friendly lesson so that in time she will learn the basics of kindness, compassion, sympathy, generosity, charity and humanity of all mankind.
@ernkjha (47)
• India
26 Mar 10
Hi researchconsult, I can understand the situation you are facing right now. But i would like to tell you one thing that if your brother is happy and will be happy in future with her, then let them proceed with their life together as one. Being with eachother for 10 years its hardly possible for your brother to leave her as he is emotionally attached to her. so you just try to keep yourself always right, no mistakes in context to your brother's girlfriend and life will follow itself.
• Philippines
26 Mar 10
to love someone is surely a mystery that no one can define. let see, we become blind once we fall in love so the only thing to teach us a lesson is when pain took its part. see my point. love is tested by pain and time. for you, you should endure first because you need to respect your brother's decision but little by little try to show him who the girl is..
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
26 Mar 10
I'm sorry reasearchconsult, but I really think that you and your family have to find a way to tolerate this girl. This is something your brother has to figure out on his own. My brother married a girl that none of us really liked much. We did everything to convince him to break it off with her. All it did was alienate him from us. It wasn't worth it. I learned to accept her for my brothers sake. The marriage lasted longer than any of us would of thourght and produced two beautiful girls. To this day, I am still very respectful to this woman even tho the marriage did not last. She is the mother of my nieces.
• Philippines
26 Mar 10
If your brother has been with this girl for 10 years and he keeps coming back, then he's certainly seeing something you guys aren't seeing. Sure, to you she's arrogant, obnoxious and all these negative things. But for your brother she's something else. For all you know, he's already gotten over that part. Think of it this way. Who's happiness is much more important, yours or your brother's? Sure, all of you can be happy if he went out with someone else. He would be happier with another girl and it would make your lives easier. But she might be showing him something that she's not showing to you. She might be all the opposite of what you're seeing her as to your brother. So Again, if it makes your brother happy, then it should be enough to make you happy. Make the most of it. Be nice to her and maybe she'll be nice to you !
@Hatley (164647)
• Garden Grove, California
26 Mar 10
hi researchconsult since this has been going on for ten years I do not think theres much you can do, ashe sounds like he is an adult. Maybe drop a few hints but most of the time he is going to get angry with you and he is your brother, I dont think you want to break off your relationship with him. if she continues to be all that you say she is he is bound to finally see it for himself. Usually talking against her will do more harm than good, so just be there for your brother if she ends up hurting him as then he will need a pal. good luck and God bless.