Is it good to quarrel in front of the kids or any younger member of the family??

@tuyakiki (3026)
India
May 15, 2010 8:08pm CST
Hi Mylotters!! There is a question for you! I come across this very problem quiet often in my surrounding.. I think,its better not to quarrel as it may affect the tender minds of the younger people.Adults can handle the situation better but for kids its very tough for them to understand the situation. Is it good to quarrel in front of the kids or any other younger member of the family??? Be free to post. Thanks! Happy Myloting.
17 responses
@kedralynn (992)
• United States
17 May 10
I don't think it's a good idea and that's coming from the standpoint of the kid... When I was little, it wasn't my parents that argued a lot but my parents and my older sister. She was trouble trouble trouble. She'd throw things, yell, slam doors, try to physically wrestle my father down (he's been sick with cancer the whole time). I remember being rather traumatized by the whole thing as a kid. I was torn between hiding in my room trying to block out of the noise and running out to defend my sister or my mom or whoever. I worried my family would fall apart and everyone would leave. Now as an adult I see this isn't a good way to fight with anyone anyway. I used to think all fights became violent and physical. Now I see it's not that way. My sister still fights like this. She's had 3 kids with a guy who and they're always fighting in front of the kids. I've worked hard to take the kids to the park or something while they're parents yell and throw stuff. I'm afraid she'll never change and I'm pretty sure her kids are all already affected by it. When I have kids I'm going to do my best not to fight like that anywhere near them. And if they do happen to see mommy and daddy fighting I want to stop and let them know that everything is ok. That we're just having a disagreement and that it's not their fault. I don't want my kids scared like I was.
1 person likes this
@tuyakiki (3026)
• India
26 May 10
Nice Post.. Thanks for sharing your own experience.
@JoaniZik (90)
• Philippines
17 May 10
YES and NO. Yes, if it becomes an avenue for learning to the kids present. The situation can be the best time to teach forgiveness, communication, and relationship, etc. No, if it will create a bad experience to the kids like seeing mom being hit by dad or the opposite. Parents should agree on what and how they should teach their children. They should understand that conflict is not necessarily evil or bad, instead they must understand that it is an avenue for growth to the parents as well as the children.
1 person likes this
@evepin (723)
• Philippines
17 May 10
i dont think it's good for kids or any young ones seeing parents or adults quarreling. it just doesnt set a good example to them and at the same time it affects them too in a deeper level.
1 person likes this
@braiym3 (135)
• Philippines
16 May 10
No, I don't think so... because we do not know the effect to the younger ones if they will see people quarreling and it is not helpful for them as they grow.
16 May 10
At the end of the day we are all human and sometimes it is really hard not to argue in front of the children. However its a fact of life that they will see it from time to time. Its all part of lifes learning experiences for them.
@tuyakiki (3026)
• India
16 May 10
Thanks for participating in my discussion...
• Philippines
25 May 10
No, it's definitely not, 'cause they may influence the mind of the child that what they are doing is just nothing or something that is right. As time goes by..that child may be do the same thing.. unconsciously, that child follow what she/he have heard or see..
@tuyakiki (3026)
• India
26 May 10
Thanks for sharing.
• India
16 May 10
No doubt, Its not good. It just spoils Child minds. Abruptly, they will think off the way. As per Human Pschology, they will be depressed and go to linear state. It is one of the dangerous situations so seen.
@tuyakiki (3026)
• India
16 May 10
Yes!1 you are right.. These fights certainly affect their minds..Thanks for sharing.
• Philippines
16 May 10
Nope it is not good to fight or quarrel in front of the young ones but ometimes it is inevitable... I cannot blame the oldies and adults when they are doing this things sometimes, the sudden burst of emotion are sometimes uncontrollable. I believe, it is always better to talk to the young kids after when you fight, argue in front of them. Yes they cannot fully understans it, but it is better to explain why and tell them also that you were sorry and bad because you shouted with somebody...
@tuyakiki (3026)
• India
16 May 10
People apologizing for shouting at other member is very rare.. It is a nice option though. Thanks for the post.
@jdyrj777 (6558)
• United States
16 May 10
Its not good to quarrel at all. But since its next to impossible not to its probably best done in private.
@tuyakiki (3026)
• India
16 May 10
Yes!! My opinion is same as you are.Thanks for posting.!
@Ritchelle (3797)
• Philippines
16 May 10
just the thought of seeing young faces hearing or witnessing quarrels between people is quite surprising for the shock is plainly registered there. so much so if this is between people he or she knows. so much so if his or her parents were the ones arguing. i can just imagine their shock. i mean even up to now if i would imagine my parents quarreling, it would be quite shocking. my parents had had their misunderstandings but these go with cold silences and not with arguing.
@tuyakiki (3026)
• India
16 May 10
Thanks for the response,Ritchelle.
• New Zealand
16 May 10
No , it's not good to fight in front of the kids. It makes kids have to choose which parent to side with or is just upsetting. I know this is true because my father regularly insults my mother. I've put up with him insulting her for around 7 years(that's as early I can remember it). He would always insult her intelligence, her looks ,etc. The anger inside of me just built up over the years. A week ago , I put my foot down and told him to stop it. Hey it took a lot of courage for me to do that because I wasn't sure he'd still like me if I took my mother's side. Now that's what fighting in front of kids does. . So stop fighting , mommy and daddy :/
@tuyakiki (3026)
• India
16 May 10
Your story is really upsetting...It really hurt me..In my opinion,you did the right thing,its your job to protect your mom as your dad is indifferent. Thanks for sharing.
@TexLadyPj (1329)
• United States
16 May 10
I believe you are on target. My parents yelled a lot and quarreled every day. Although I said I would be a different parent, I found myself quarreling in front of our son. We didn't quarrel every day, however I believe that any quarreling in front of anyone, is inappropriate. Quarrel in private.
@tuyakiki (3026)
• India
16 May 10
Yes! Absolutely!! Quarrel stuffs should be kept secret. Thanks for the response.
@bounce58 (17526)
• Canada
19 May 10
Sometimes we take kids forgranted. And sometimes we underestimate them. However we try to hide quarelling from kids, often times they know about it. They always know about it. And the effects to them are never good. So that's why we try to hide it. So as just to minimize it's effects.
@med889 (5958)
18 May 10
Once my sister was quarreling in front of her daughter who was only 3 years old and the child could not really listen to all these, she kept on saying "Mom Dad please stop", and she was yelling, really, then they all stopped, she has never since that time forgotten the fight so now she is 6 years old and she still remember everything. So it is really not good to argue in front of children.
@cyrus123 (6383)
• United States
18 May 10
I never have married but I don't think it's good for the parents to quarrel in front of their children. My mother taught me this. She and daddy had a good marriage but it wasn't perfect. They used to fuss in front of me sometimes and I remember how it used to upset me.
@thanks1961 (7049)
• India
17 May 10
We all will say NO. But all will do!!! This is what we really are. We all are one opinion and whenever we are in a situation, simply we forgets. Children, they catch the things around fast and the pictures imprints in their subconscious. If we observe, gradually all that we have done in front of them will come one after another. Their talk, their attitude, their behaviour etc. Your subject is a serious one and I urge everyone, take utmost importance to this subject, even if it is a small situation. It will definitely affect their image formation. Thank your for your valued subject. Regards, Thank-s
@shibham (17025)
• India
17 May 10
hi tuya, i think its not good to quarrel in front of kids or any younger member bcoz they find some causes to be aggressive in future. they often imitate what and how we act infront of them. thanks.
@hanizah (256)
17 May 10
I agree with what you said because I've been a child and there were times that my mom and dad fight and my brother and I got a hard time, I mean, we were crying a lot.So I believe that children should not witness their parents fighting because they can't handle the situation..