Would you befriend a person who never seems proud to introduce as her friends?
By neelianoscet
@neelianoscet (9615)
Philippines
June 2, 2010 9:21am CST
It maybe sounds like a sort of selfish friendship. A person you just barely know told you that you could be her/his friends then when you see her/him in the company of her/his other friends she/he never introduce you to them. What would you felt? You do not like to lose your friendship but something behind your mind is telling you halfway that she/he seems never proud of you. That she/he likes to hides you. Would you still felt bitter and I think with the kind of conditional friendship. It may annoy me. In my own viewpoint I like to befriend a person whatever status she/he have and would accept even despite her/his flaws then never like to put condition.
How about you, Do you encounter a similar situation when you just had a new friend but then she/he seem embarrass to let her/his friends know that that the two of you are friends. Would you still continue to be friend with her/him?
She/he seems a nice fellow but this kind of treatment you get from her/him makes you think twice. Maybe she/he is not yet ready to introduce you or it may seem she/he like to hide you.
What could be her/his reasons, it’s kinda felt weird like you have a disease or something when you receive this kind of treatment. If ever you encounter the same situation, what would you do?
Kindly shares your thoughts about this, Thank you.
6-2-10
9:21
4 people like this
15 responses
@kun2349 (23381)
• Singapore
2 Jun 10
IF i have any new friends, i will definitely be introducing them to my other friends as well.. If possible, i will do a gathering whereby old and new friends are able to interact with each other etc.. haha =D
And who knows from there, they might hit it off?? PLus it will only do everybody more good than harm.. hehe ^_^ IT's always better to have one more friend than a stranger by our side right?? haha =D 
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
3 Jun 10
hi kun,
Good for you since your happy to let your other friends know her/him. it only proves you could be a good friend without being superficial unlike other who often makes a condition before accepting a friend. Though, it is nice attitude to be friendly but also need to be wary too in accepting a friend who have set many condition. They may have other intention and they could have other plan which if you feel to identify may often end up in dissolution of friendship. Because it could be based on other things which is not genuine and full of pretension.
yeah, real friendship could be the start of something new as long as both are compatible with each other it might somehow work..
2 people like this
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
5 Jun 10
right..and everyone begin like that and if up to them to make it last..
2 people like this
@lovelyn_medrano (3070)
• Philippines
2 Jun 10
I never encounter such situation... Thanks god! It is such a disrespectful in a sense... Why would he or she be embarrassed to be my friend? I would definitely not go with that person anymore, if she or he is not happy or afraid to let others know that we are "friends" then je/ she is not a real friend... I mean how could I call that person a friend if the person doesn't accept me fully, the way I am... And is thinking much of other's opinion rather than my feelings... that I would get hurt and offended...
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
1 Jul 10
Yeah, and it is quite insulting too..just imagine he or she befriend other people then introduce them to his/her other friends..
then you could point the differences and unfair treatment..
then one could just take note of the way the other friend behaves when you were only two and compare with the presence of other groups..
one could really identify the bias treatment which one should need to clarify to the other friend before one could extend long friendship or to better way quit if such indifferences could not be settled..thanks..
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
3 Jun 10
hello lakota dear,
Yeah, that the real deal and the best solution. it is very rude to a new friend not to introduce you to his circle of friends without valid reasons. thanks.
1 person likes this
@ckyera (17332)
• Philippines
5 Jun 10
well i guess such kind of friend just don't deserve the friendship im offering. what's the point of being friends to someone who can't even introduce us as their friend right? its really disappointing if such situation happens to me. its good that i don't have such kind of friend till now and never come across with such kind.
and if she acted that way i guess she's not really a friend.
@ckyera (17332)
• Philippines
1 Jul 10
lol! if she's embarrass to introduce me as her friend, then she's really not a friend. haha and if she just befriend me because she gets benefit from me, the more i will regret being her friend or maybe i will be the one to feel embarrass to have such kind of friend. maybe she's just a friend in name and not in its real sense.
but if there's really a big and reasonable reason as to why she can't introduce me to her other friends, maybe i will understand her if only she tell it to me right away and don't make me expect.
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
1 Jul 10
Yeah, that is very annoying and one could not think of better things just to make a suspicious reason. Such as maybe that new friend is embarrass to introduce you or else she/he only befriend because she/he have something to benefit for, While some are a good keepers while some hide because of some private reasons. It really depend on the other person to accept such set up if she/he remain happy if not just like others mention it is best to quit such kind of conditional friendship.
@dreamsharmin (2281)
• China
2 Jun 10
No i don't want to be friend of such a person. When a person feel shy to introduce me with others it means she is insulting me. And i will not allow people to insult me. So i don't want to be her friend. But if the situation is not favorable and if there is some reason then it's ok.
Otherwise no.
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
2 Jun 10
hi dreamsharmin,
Yeah, I think the same way. But if she/he have other reasons like other intention it need a lot of explanation. maybe she/he still need a lot of time. But for me if it is a casual friendship. Then their is nothing to be ashamed of unless this friend like you to be her/his lover then he/she still have another. It may be one way to hide another relationship he/she plan to create. Friendship to be successful need to be open and no need to hide when both have good intention. thanks for your reply.
1 person likes this
@CTHanum (8234)
• Malaysia
3 Jun 10
hi neelia!
it must be sad when someone whom we thought are our friend did that thing to us.did you ask her/his why she/he treat you like that?then i think you need to decide whether you want her/him to be your friend or not.hate this kind of people.if it happens to me i will not be hesitate to kick her/him out of my 'friends list'!
keep lotting and have a good day!:)
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
3 Jun 10
hi CThanum,
I based it on my personal observation since other people may only befriend you when your are in the same social status. Since they may be shy to introduce their friend when they are not properly dress like they are in a full decent clothes while their friend is in dishevel cloth they become so afraid to introduce it to their other friend since they felt so ashamed. Sometimes when they are in the company of their rich friends and it so happen this friend just walk away like seeing you as invisible which is so annoying. it only prove those kind of friends are superficial since they are not so proud to let their other friends know her or to let While i notice too in other people who only befriend you when you have money or some do like to keep their friendship private like they are hiding something which could lead to a lot of confusion. So I really have to ask this in my mind and i think those kind of friend who set certain condition doesn't deserve my friendship and better to let them go than to keep them. to you too..Have a nice day. Thanks for replying.
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
3 Jun 10
yeah, very true, real friendship set no boundaries or barriers they always their to back up their friends in times of needs and care for to lend a hand, hug or give advices when it is necessary.
@grecychunny26 (9483)
• Philippines
9 Jun 10
I will think twice if I will continue the friendship. How can I trust someone like that when they are not being real with themselves . If they are not being real inside of them, they are not being real with me and to her/his other friends. We can mostly see it during our childhood. We see children be friends in groups. One of them has friends outside that group. When one of the group friends find out that one have other friends they will want to know the truth, if the friend outside is not acceptable to be friends , that friend will deny him/her. I hardly see it when people get matured. Being grown-up is a tough environment, we need to have as many friends as we needed because of many problems that comes to our lives. Fortunately, I haven’t meet someone that hide/deny me from public and I will not do it on a friend.
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
1 Jul 10
If depend if the friend still new she.he may take a lot of time to introduce you if his groups of friends may dislike you or like you. It takes him/her a lot of time but if the person whom befriend have an open minded then introducing you to her.his other friends would not be consider as a hard task. I only have few friends to keep while having thousand is impossible to have and some of my online friends is only for gaming activities nothing so serious except in offline world. it is get to be different treatment.
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
4 Jun 10
Maybe he/she was just never taught proper manners. If I really liked the person, I'd probably walk up and ask, "would you like to introduce me to your friends?" Or maybe, to the group, "Hi, I'm so and so's friend Dawn."
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
1 Jul 10
Some are like that when they are so choosy then have a high standard. So in other words some prefer light introduction while some just escape it like it to be alone as in getting it more private knowing the person more before making the effort to letting other know her/him as friends.
@bellis716 (4799)
• United States
4 Jun 10
"Dear Abby" would say that you should stick out your hand and say something like, "Hi, I'm Johnny's friend, Mary. I'm pleased to meet you." If this makes Johnny mad, he wasn't much of a friend. Remember, I said that was what ear Abby would recommend, not what I'd do. I'd probably hang my head and wander off, which would also make Johnny mad. You can't win with anyone that insensitive.
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
1 Jul 10
Sometimes it is true when one befriend another person one could not expect to receive the same treatment. Sometimes it also have to do with the length and one is very comfortable with the other friends presence while the others are not really develop closeness. So their is possibility for this kind of indifference to exist. it is only a matter of acceptance what to keep and what to be good to left.
@prinzcy (32322)
• Malaysia
3 Jun 10
What kind of friend is that? Why did that particular befriend you in the first place? Maybe she have something that she wants to hide and don't want you to know yet. Though I must say it's weird not to let others know you know each other as I don't see anything wrong with that.
Most of my friends are like me. We have almost similar hobby and education. That's why we can hang out just fine. Besides, friends are supposed to make you feel comfortable, not embarrass by your relationship.
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
1 Jul 10
hi prinzcy,
That person just like to befriend me but he or she doesn't like to mix up his.her private lives with other people who know her/him. Until she/he is ready to make the final introduction. But it taking a long time before he.she could decide. I think it is a superficial friendship and it is up to the receiving person if he.she would continue the same set up. Especially if the reason is so shallow and not properly explain. Some friends who put such condition in friendship like to maintain their privacy such as separating personal friends from business associates to have their own groups. maybe she/he have her/his own personal reasons as long as it is acceptable one could accept or either reject such kind of conditional friendship.
@amyson (3498)
• Philippines
3 Jun 10
in my opinion i think by first impression i will see how the person communicate and how she/he talks.if i see her to be easy to get with and introduce me to her friends without hesitancy i m sure i like to be one of her friends.but if she she wasn't like me to introduce to his friends or want to hide me because of my status like if his friends is rich im pretty sure she will not like me to introduce because his friends will be laughing because why hanging out with low class people.on the other hand i will not hang out with her if she deny me then i will not pursue my friendship to be her friend.
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
1 Jul 10
Because friends like that who exhibit the same attitude is hypocrite and very superficial. He or she is a friend only with benefit then like a leech as long as she/he have something to get or interest with you. Then then they would befriend only for a short while but not expect it to be forever since they have shallow understanding of real friendship. if that is the agreement then it is wise sometimes to be alone than to keep hundred fake friends which gives you nothing but pain and bad memories.
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
3 Jun 10
Friendship has many complex levels. Some find friendship easier to achieve than others. Some may have difficulty showing their feelings in front of others. I would still befriend someone even though they were slower to return the favor to me. There could be an unknown reason that no one knows about that can make this person act the way they do.
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
1 Jul 10
I would observe first their behavior if they like to make the conditional friendship and maybe she/he have other reasons as long as it is acceptable. I may keep the friendship at bay. If some sort of behavior becoming annoying then it time now to dispatch him/her then find another new one that is a keeper.
@ebuscat (5935)
• Philippines
3 Jun 10
For me no because you encounter the unhappy friendship you are so better to quit at all.
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
1 Jul 10
Yeah, their is no use to stick around when he /she denied me all the time.
@markiy071384 (241)
• Philippines
3 Jun 10
I hate that friend. I am his/her friend then he cannot introduce me in her/his friend.
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
1 Jul 10
hi markiy,
those kinds of conditional friendship are the things which also makes me think twice before fully accepting their own intention. I need to think many times if they put sincere effort or just a shallow one. It is better to tell them that i do not like such kind of friendship if they are not really a good keeper..thanks.
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
2 Jun 10
I don't think anyone who treats u like that is your friend. That is very rude not to intorduce u to other friends.
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
3 Jun 10
hi antiquelady,
Some are really act like that and they are hesitant to introduce their newly found friends when they have different social status like the other is rich while the other dress dishevel. it make them feel anxious and not so comfortable so they like a secret friendship to form. thanks.
1 person likes this
