And They Lived Happily ever After?

United States
June 5, 2010 5:35pm CST
i just finished a play where the guy from thr beginning to the last act said he didn't want to marry but he did marry her and the last line was She made me do it. I was livid! I mean I could have killed someone with my bare hands. This is why I stay away from " romantic Comedies" But it made me wonder. How many marriages Are really happy when one partner forces the other to marry?I ask you, would you marry a person because they Want you to marry? Because you fear being alone? Me? I never will marry. I see it as tug of war. He would want me to be one way and I will be another. My heart will close to him, if it had opened to him in the first place.So I don't understand why Anyone would want to Have to force their partner to marry them. I need you help. Thanks in advance.
1 person likes this
7 responses
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
6 Jun 10
Hmmm... Most people would force or 'guilt-trip' their partner into marrying them. I would not want to be in that position. I know I have been mentioning 'marriage' often but I make it sure that he understands that it is out of 'wondering', I never assume that it will be me and him in the end. But I know that these conversations causes pressure to my partner which is why I try to steer clear of these topics. However, as a woman, I think it's ultimately pressuring me to settle down before my time runs out, so to speak. Further, I'm more worried about him being forced to marry me instead of worrying of being single forever.
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Jun 10
There is no time limit on marriage.If you mean having babies , there is more time these days too. Women are having babies in their 40's! I think if a marriage is Suppose to be based on mutual love and respect, then how can a marriage lasts if one partner is marrying out of pressure. I give that partner 6 months before they are looking for a lover so they can remain " happily married."
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@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
7 Jun 10
Well, I still think it could be avoided (misery) if you are certain about your decision of marrying instead of just forcing yourself to do so. You see, if you were told not to do something and you still did it, then the probability of you whining about it is quite low compared to you being forced to do something you didn't want to do in the first place. Right?
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@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
7 Jun 10
Then perhaps marriage is just not your vocation. You're happier as a single person. These things happen and whatever makes you happy would make your life full of bliss and satisfaction. Indeed being single and being married are both vocations. People who are chosen to be married would be happier as married but be lonely if they were alone just as those who are chosen to be single would be miserable when married but could live life to the fullest when they're with someone or have a family of their own.
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@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
7 Jun 10
Or why one would constantly push the other to remain in a marriage that wasn't right any more...
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• United States
8 Jun 10
This marriage is doomed from the start. the guy went into it just because she pushed him into it.
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@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
8 Jun 10
that is a very bad start to a marriage. Yep it would be a miracle if it lasted!
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• United States
9 Jun 10
My feelings exactly!
@dpk262006 (56225)
• Delhi, India
6 Jun 10
HI dear! You getting married is one's personal choice. Anyone should not be forced to get married, because married life is entirely different from a single's life. Those who are willing to taste the fruits of married lives on their own peril, should venture into it.
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• United States
6 Jun 10
And the ones who Know they don't want to marry, Should never marry! This is why I hate Romantic Comedies.
@dpk262006 (56225)
• Delhi, India
7 Jun 10
Choice is yours Sarah!
1 person likes this
@andy77e (5165)
• United States
6 Jun 10
I've seen a number of marriages that were like that. They were rather sad, pathetic marriages really. Granted those marriages are better than the screaming yelling, divorcing, children without both parents, and broken homes, for sure. But I've met people that you could tell there was no flame between them at all. It was like watching two completely separate people, who just happen to live in the same house. At the same time, I have a higher respect for them, who are at least taking responsibility for the children they brought into this world, than most people who seem to be so self-centered, that they couldn't care less what damage they do to their children. There's even a woman on here who publicly talked about her coming divorce, and I asked her about her kids. She said basically oh they'll be ok. I shouldn't have to live in this unhappy marriage. Amazingly selfish. Likely why she's getting divorced. Yet I know of many parents who choose to stay together for the benefit of their kids, at least until they were grown an out of the house, and their kids were way better off for it. Of course the key is to not get in that situation to begin with. Don't sleep with someone you are not married to. Don't marry someone unless you really intend to spend your life with him. And you are wise to not get married if you have no intention of changing yourself. Marriage is nothing, if not a series of sacrifices and compromises. Learning to live together is entirely a matter of changing who you are to fit your spouse. If either person has absolutely no intention of doing that, then yes, marriage will be nothing but a tug of war, that both sides lose.
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Jun 10
Oops. I meant strongly disagree. typos, typos.
• United States
9 Jun 10
It all comes down to this . Not all people can or should get married. Not all people should live together. The key is to find your special person and sit and talk about what you want. and if you two agree then do it. Either marry or not marry. live together or not. Fidelity isn't just for married couples. Anyone who has seen or heard about a daytime or nighttime drama knows this. Even in real life couples married or not break down when fidelity is breached.But to assume Just because a couple Never gets married their relationship is less meaningful than a marriage is so demeaning and really sad.It takes the couple to define how special and connected their relationship is , not society nor a marriage license.
@juggerogre (1659)
• Philippines
6 Jun 10
I also don't get why everyone would force someone to marry him/her. The main factor in marrying should be love and forcing other means they do not love each other so why bother marry? Anyway I totally disagree with forced marriage. He/She should love each other first before deciding any wedding. The one who was forced is the one that's gonna suffer in the end.
• United States
7 Jun 10
I think the one who forced the partner to marry is the one who will suffer most. He/she thinks they got what they wanted, a spouse , But if the person was forced to marry , they will soon recent being forced into marriage and they will make their spouse's life a living hell. I know I would.He may think he " has" me because He made me marry him but the opposite is true. Now he will Never have me.
@jillhill (37383)
• United States
6 Jun 10
I don't believe it would be a happy situation if someone "forced their partner to marry them" but you have to be a weak person if someone can strong arm you into the marriage bed. I don't believe if I didn't actually want to marry someone that I would...as for me.....I don't know that I'll ever remarry...
1 person likes this
• Mexico
6 Jun 10
Hi jill hill: I totally agree with you. Only a weak person will ruin his/ her life marrying someone when he/ she is not sure about this or he/ she feel forced by his/her partner to do something they don't want to do. I think the result would be unhapiness. Thanks for your answer. Have a nice day. ALVARO.
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• Mexico
6 Jun 10
Hi sarah ruth beth: I think that when you decide to get marry you must feel free and totally sure of your decition. If you decide to do it to make someone else happy, the result is that you won't be convince of your decition so it's a bad way to start a new life. I think that peple can be happy being husband and wife if they want to work together for this and if they keep romance in their lives. Thanks for telling us your experience. Have a nice day. ALVARO.
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