Personal feelings in public?
By cip116
@cip116 (1011)
Romania
June 7, 2010 7:36am CST
I am on a social site and there is a divorced father with a boy (20yo)
This father never spoke bad(with friends) about his child.
The boy has account made on the site,come one day,responded one discussion and he began to tell us,personal opinion about...his father.
Personal opinion ended with "this is my real father , just a big liar"
How you react if you be in same situation? (may be a husband,a wife,a child...)
3 people like this
13 responses
@purplealabaster (22094)
• United States
7 Jun 10
That is a really tough situation. I definitely would not respond to the situation if I was an outsider. If it was my child, on the other hand, I would have a long and serious talk with him offline. Then, I would hope that he would delete whatever he said and apologize to everyone involved. That is the problem with online sites, though. Impulsive people can post whatever they feel like on the spur of the moment, and then it is out there even if they regret doing it immediately.
1 person likes this
@purplealabaster (22094)
• United States
9 Jun 10
I definitely do not think that was the time or place for this boy to confront his father. However, if this guy really is a bad guy, perhaps the son was just following his conscience and doing what he thought was right to try to protect innocent people from believing his father. Unfortunately, fathers (and also mothers, but that is not what we are talking about here) are still people, and sometimes they can do awful, terrible things to others, like luring unsuspecting young girls into a compromising position, all the while pretending to be a "nice guy" when really they have evil intentions. I am not saying that is how it is in this particular instance, but it does happen, and it seems that it happens even more nowadays with the easy access to the Internet.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
7 Jun 10
I don't think it's quite right to say things like that to a social network of friends and family. It may have been the boy was just angry at his father, maybe for divorcing his mother, or maybe for other reasons, but that is no reason to air dirty laundry, or to talk badly about his father, especially if he comes to regret the words. On the internet, things stay forever.
1 person likes this
@rosie230 (1696)
•
7 Jun 10
Well I think whatever the problem, there is always a time and a place. Airing his dirty laundry publicly like that is very wrong, and I would imagine humiliating for his Dad. Entering a discussion like that with friends and bad mouthing his father like that is very rude, and then could potentially lead to problems for his Dad, the friends may then ask what is wrong and stuff like that, when really the Dad may not have wanted to talk about his personal life or problems to people. If it was my son who did that I would be mortified and absolutely ashamed of him, as I have not brought him up to be so rude, and disrespectful of his elders!
1 person likes this
@TexLadyPj (1328)
• United States
7 Jun 10
Hi cip116
I heard you ask how I would I were in the same situation, that is my family member. I would not address the issue online, I would address the issue in private, either email or letter or telephone, esp. if family is far away. If member is in town would do my best to address in person. In conjunction with these responses would be asking in prayer.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
8 Jun 10
hi cip well we are all different and if I have aired something bad about my father which I did incidently it would be in context with the discussion I made,not just a discussion airing dirty laundry. And
for that boy to do that to his parents, even if what he said was
true , was very unwise and very cruel too. I mean my dad wad deceased,
but this man was alive and what about his mom too,did he really want
to hurt her like that? what a thoughtless child.
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
8 Jun 10
Hi cip: I think there must be something wrong in the relationship between this boy and his father. If I'd be in that situation I would talk with him just to know why doe she feel disapointed with hius father, why does he have this perception. I let him talk so maybe I find what to do to make things right. Thanks for your answer. Have a nice day.
ALVARO.
?
I would be tactful, and I would not reply. These family problems are not yours : if you are in good terms with the father, stay away from this discussion !
Have a good day.
Let me ask you directly
What answer if a person ,enter in this discussion NOW and explain us that you are a gentleman here,but in reality ...
You pretend that you do not have Internet network?
@mario_stevens (6971)
• Malaysia
7 Jun 10
i'd stay away from something like that if i ever come across it.. wouldn't want to accidentally say the wrong thing and mess things up even more there 
@sherielapjat (169)
• India
7 Jun 10
no way that this boy is acceptable for me, how he can blame his father after all he , the father is taking care of the boy. any way i will leave these kind of discussion and will never enter again in a discussion with this boy, and also i will inform his father by a personal message about his child's opinion about him.
@sherielapjat (169)
• India
7 Jun 10
it is too tough to be a father of such a child.what you had answered to him? what can be answered to such idiots? i dont know.
