Do Children Have Respect For Their Elders?
By Janey1966
@Janey1966 (24170)
Carlisle, England
June 11, 2010 6:26pm CST
I don't necessarily mean members of their own family, like their parents or grand-parents. What I mean is older people that they come across in their daily lives, usually in their own neighbourhoods.
When I was a youngster (roundabout 10/11 years old) I was actually scared of elderly neighbours that resided over the road and two doors up from our house. A few of them were related i.e. sisters. One of the sisters was married to a guy who would stand at his front window and stare at us whenever we played football in the street. We tried very hard not to kick a ball into his garden..for good reason. He used to come out in a rage, collect the ball and take it into his house. He must've collected loads over the years! We were ALL terrified of him!
My point being? Well, the kids that play out now (if you can call it that, more like a shouting competition) down the same street mentioned above have no respect for their elders. In fact, a few of them don't even live down the street and cause havoc by trespassing on driveways and gardens and taking no notice if someone like my Mum goes out to confront them (heaven forbid). They also look at her as though she is committing a crime just by asking them to move. She once asked two little girls to move their junk from the front street and one of them denied it was hers. Mum said that she wasn't bothered who the junk belonged to, just move it! Removing litter is alien to them and I really wish there was a new campaign regarding taking rubbish home was back on the telly. I always brought my litter home...and still do.
If you are a parent I would like to know how you instill the good values mentioned above and do you find children in general more aggressive than, say, 30 years ago? Why is that? Is it their diet, E numbers, game consoles, pressures at school, what? I'd really like to know!
My point being? Well, the kids that play out now (if you can call it that, more like a shouting competition) down the same street mentioned above have no respect for their elders. In fact, a few of them don't even live down the street and cause havoc by trespassing on driveways and gardens and taking no notice if someone like my Mum goes out to confront them (heaven forbid). They also look at her as though she is committing a crime just by asking them to move. She once asked two little girls to move their junk from the front street and one of them denied it was hers. Mum said that she wasn't bothered who the junk belonged to, just move it! Removing litter is alien to them and I really wish there was a new campaign regarding taking rubbish home was back on the telly. I always brought my litter home...and still do.
If you are a parent I would like to know how you instill the good values mentioned above and do you find children in general more aggressive than, say, 30 years ago? Why is that? Is it their diet, E numbers, game consoles, pressures at school, what? I'd really like to know!4 people like this
16 responses
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
12 Jun 10
NO, THEY DO NOT because the parents don't take the time anyhmore to teach children manners or respect. I don't blame the kids but i do blame the parents. Happy weekend to u.
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
12 Jun 10
Hi Alvaro, nice to hear from u. Parenting is a hard job. I raised 2 sons by myself& believe me i know, lol. I am proud the way they treat other people. Don't always think they do their mom right but i know they are mannerly & respectful to others. Happy weekend to u.
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
12 Jun 10
Hi Antique lady: I think the same, parents should take a very active position on their children education. They ought not to let their kids do whatever they want because they would be guilty of the consequences. I actually think being a parent is a very difficult job. Thanks for your answer. Have a nice day.
ALVARO.
1 person likes this
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
12 Jun 10
Hi Guys! Parenting is a difficult job. I realise this even though I don't have children of my own. It must be tough...and kids can be so demanding because they have friends that - maybe, have parents that give them all that they want.
@derek_a (10874)
•
13 Jun 10
I am ashamed to say that many children these days don't seem to have much respect for adults at all. There are a few around here who seem more polite than the kids I used to meet when we lived in the City. We live now in a village that is always entering for the "best kept village" competition every year. I wonder if this shows that the people here care about our environment and this caring brushing off on to the kids. Whilst I was in the city, I would often see lots of litter, around here is it is rare to do so. 
_Derek
_Derek@derek_a (10874)
•
14 Jun 10
Yes, I can imagine how frustrating this can be. When I was with Neighbourhood Watch, I found that it was best to complain to my local MP (member of parliament) rather than the cleansing department via e-mail. I pointed out that if they could catch the fly-tippers it would mean extra revenue for them in fines anyway. Something seemed to happen for a while because the place started to get cleaned up and I believe they caught one or two fly-tippers in the act. But all that was long before this credit crunch started and there seemed to be more money around to provide these services. 
_Derek
_Derek@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
13 Jun 10
There are some pretty villages in Cumbria too.
In the Towns and Carlisle (the only City) it's a different story. Litter is a major problem and our alleyway has rubbish dumped in it even after we had gates erected by the Council recently. They could've recharged the residents too as the alleyway is private. So, all that money spent and the residents still choose to dump rubbish. I have complained for the umpteenth time to the Council but with cutbacks forthcoming I reckon all they can do is clean the alley so many times a year. Enforcing the fly-tipping ban would cost too much money.
We shall see if I even receive a reply. I didn't last time.
In the Towns and Carlisle (the only City) it's a different story. Litter is a major problem and our alleyway has rubbish dumped in it even after we had gates erected by the Council recently. They could've recharged the residents too as the alleyway is private. So, all that money spent and the residents still choose to dump rubbish. I have complained for the umpteenth time to the Council but with cutbacks forthcoming I reckon all they can do is clean the alley so many times a year. Enforcing the fly-tipping ban would cost too much money.
We shall see if I even receive a reply. I didn't last time.1 person likes this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
16 Jun 10
My children are a lot more mouthy than we were allowed to be, but I like the idea that they are able to speak up and tell us what's on their minds. On the other hand, they really don't get mouthy with other people, so I guess I have managed to teach them manners somehow.
But nope, I don't think it's diet, video games or whatever, I think it's mostly parenting...
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
16 Jun 10
You see, you have done a good job bringing up your kids even though you may doubt it at times.
They're adorable!
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
13 Jun 10
Children do not have the respect for the elderly that they used to or should have. It was intilled in me at a very young age and I have tried to give that to my children as well and I can only hope that they will carry it with them. Why? Well..there could be a lot of things that contribute so I can't just name one. It may be all of those that you mentioned plus a few more. There is no reason for children to fear adults in the manner that we used to as children because they are aware of the laws that protect them.
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
13 Jun 10
Yes, that is so true. Since children are more aware of their rights (seemingly everywhere, whether it be at home or school) no-one can tell them off and if someone DOES tell them off a look of disbelief appears on their face...as if to say, "how DARE you tell me off!" It has happened with Mum and the kids around her street, some of whom don't even live there. A couple over the road from her have lots of children and they just run riot whilst the parents just sit there. I often wonder what it would take for THEM to tell their own children off!
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
12 Jun 10
Hi Janey: I dopn't think children have respect for their elder. I say this after watching how my little cousins talk to their parents or teachers so the answer for me it's definetly yes. That's sad. I think this happends because now children have more freedom and that's bad because at this time they need to be guided by their parents. So they don't have a good sense of respect to the authorities. I understand, parents should do some things to impose their authority and also to teach their children that they can't do whatever they want and also that they have to control their behaviour and respect their elders. Thanks for st6arting this discussion. Have a nice day.
ALVARO.
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
12 Jun 10
Children definitely have more freedom to roam. Whenever I played out when I was younger I was never too far away from the house so that my parents always knew where I was. Nowadays a lot of kids are left to their own devices (especially at night) and tend to hang around street corners causing trouble for other people going about their business. The parents of these kids sink down into their settee after working all day, feed them microwaved meals then aren't that bothered where their kids go afterwards as they are too selfish to care. They want to do what THEY want to do such as watch dodgy DVDs and get drunk. So sad. No wonder kids have no respect as they don't even get it from their own parents.
@gracielle (346)
• Philippines
12 Jun 10
hi Janey,
Yes we does, we should. I'm a filipina and respect is very essential in our lives, i was raised to have high respect to elders, especially my grand parents.Without the elders in our society life will be boring. They're the people reminding us that someday we will all gonna be elders too, while we are still young, we do all the things we can do, while we can still do it. I love my grand mother so much, she raised me from baby up to my 7yrs of age.They we're the best,caring, loving persons in the world. Treat & gave them all the respects we can give, for someday we'll be elders too.
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
12 Jun 10
Is it the same for elders outside the family? You know, people that may be in your neighbourhood, for example?
@msfrancisco9369 (10002)
• Boston, Massachusetts
12 Jun 10
Hi Jane,
As parents, we are so conscious about teaching our kids to pay respect to elders and even to youngster. age or seniority is not the reason for being respectful or practicing the value of respect. in all aspect of life respect must be promoted and lived. respect in words and deeds. but of course as adult we must be worth the respect too and be a role model in showing respect to others...old and young.
@msfrancisco9369 (10002)
• Boston, Massachusetts
13 Jun 10
hahahahaha...great jane! have a wonderful weekend to you my friend. stay cool, fit and happy!
@gracefuldove (1668)
• Malaysia
12 Jun 10
These days many youngsters do not respect the elders. One reason is westernization. They just nod their heads to their elders and say hi without the usual respectable words of addressing them.Soon,they begin to ignore them altogether.
I try to ensure my children address my elders with the right forms of honorifics.
Through this way, they will know that the elders are a generation or two above them and that they are the descendants. In this way, they will be made aware of their obligations and will continue with this good respectable tradition.
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
12 Jun 10
I like the way you bring up your children, it's lovely.
@udayrao2 (781)
• India
12 Jun 10
Hi Janey
Your observation is totally correct - and I have been saying the same thing to my friends, neighbours etc. I think this is a global phenomenon too.
My wife and I - and also extended family members, have inculcated good habits or good manners etc or what we believe to be good, but not all families do that. A reason not to be respectful etc could be that a lot of parents are too busy and do not just bother to or do not have the time to spend some good time with their children in their growing years when they need the most to be led by hand.
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
12 Jun 10
There do seem to be more working Mums because the fathers don't earn enough now to cover everything. This is a shame because I'm sure some Mums would actually prefer to be at home but have to work. It is also unfair that single mothers who don't work get all the benefits. That doesn't make sense to me.
I'm glad I'm childless!
@MagicalBubbles (5103)
• Canada
12 Jun 10
I try to avoid kids as much as possible haha!!
We have a black labrador and I think the few kids on our street are afraid of our dog because he's completely black and has yellow eyes, so they keep off our property AND we are fenced in.
As for when I go shopping, Im very good at avoiding them also, I do my grocery shopping around 10PM and usually there are no kids around.
They do lack respect, they were brought up at daycare, watching tv and playing video games, so thats all they know. Parents just dont have the time to raise them.
I know that once I get old enough to not be able to live alone or with my husband in my own home, I plan to end my life as Im NOT going to go in a Senior's Home to be taken care of by "them".
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
12 Jun 10
I must admit I don't relish becoming old either. I want to be sane enough to be able to do what you say and "end it." Can't see the situation becoming more pleasant the older we become.
@ersanmiguel (476)
• Philippines
12 Jun 10
respecting the elders is one thing that is very much instill in our children even in this very modern way of life. as Filipino, we say "po" and "opo" as respect to older people. we greet our elders by touching their hands to our forehead. i agree with you that in general, children are more aggressive today than our generation. as parent, we should be an example for our children so that good manners will stay with them wherever they go.
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
12 Jun 10
I love to hear about how different cultures show respect to one another. It's wonderful, what you describe there about touching their hands to your foreheads, that is so sweet, I like that very much. I only hope it carries on being passed down the generations and is never forgotten. Unfortunately, in the UK at least, respect for our elders has all but gone and I really don't know how it's happened.
It's wonderful, what you describe there about touching their hands to your foreheads, that is so sweet, I like that very much. I only hope it carries on being passed down the generations and is never forgotten. Unfortunately, in the UK at least, respect for our elders has all but gone and I really don't know how it's happened. @laratri (253)
• India
12 Jun 10
hi...
I do think children are much more disrespectful. I try to ensure my children address my elders with the right forms.
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
12 Jun 10
Hello there! Welcome to MyLot. I am glad you try to bring up your children the right way. It must be difficult as life is so demanding.
I wish you luck.
@kukueye (1759)
• Malaysia
12 Jun 10
Persoanlly i think it starts all at home,how the children respond and communicate with older people at home.Sometime small kids saw how the parents speak to older people children will mimic the parents.If the parents respect the older people children at young age will respond similar.In asian countries children are taught to respect the elders by wishing them well and taking orders from them.Haha.Grand dad will ask the children to made coffee tea and such.Or the parents ask the child to do so.Initially wishing grand parents good health and acknowledge they presence,making coffee or tea is good way to teach children.Showing sign of respect and politness in language and action is vital.
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
12 Jun 10
Does this behaviour extend to outside the family unit as that is what my discussion was all about.
@alphonse_41 (65)
• Philippines
12 Jun 10
they should be!! most specialy to their parents and those oldies who part of the family! here in my country respecting elders is part of our customs!
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
12 Jun 10
Well, that's true enough. The elderly people I mentioned were called Mr and Mrs Dean, Mr Singleton, Miss Yardsley and another one I can't remember the name of. I never got to know their first names and had no inclination to find out what they were if I'm being honest!
@pinoyblogger (397)
• Philippines
14 Jun 10
Respect must be earned, and not to be imposed. Even though you are older than your children, you must show to the children that you are worthy of their respect. It doesn't mean that these children are disrespectful, its just respect must be mutual. If you want to be respected, you too must respect your children.
