Becoming the person you once were!

Hi, I am so sorry to learn that you are having such a bad time. You are entirely submerged in deep confusion and pain, and I really understand that. Surprisingly, I consider this phase of yours very positive and pivotal. This sorrow and internal conflict can be ended with some positive realization, and hence your entire life may move into a positive path. Now, I am glad that you've finally asked the most important question, how to be yourself. I think I have already made a few points in my other response to your discussion. I will try to clear some more points here. If you want to become what you were in some time in the past, the best way to start will be to figure out why things were different back then. Don't even try to blame yourself of any other person. Employ all your might to stay away from this blame game. Take responsibilities but don't end up in blaming yourself for the rest of your life. Identify all the things that you were not, in that particular period of time in the past. Try to identify the reasons of your happiness. Have you lost something in the process? Have you grown more expectations? Have you turned somewhat possessive? Try to rediscover yourself. Don't think about your partner. Think about you. Because its you who is in trouble. In my consideration, as long as a person is happy himself, he will always make others happy. Identify the things that used to make you happy. Repeat those things. Identify what is missing. If you want to add or eliminate something, go ahead. Do everything that you want to. Experiment with it before finally coming up with an ideal model. Once you have figured it all out, live with the model and forget all the underlying intricacies. The reason people are being able to hurt you is hidden in yourself. People can't hurt us unless we give them the opportunity. We become vulnerable the moment we believe that we are vulnerable. We allow ourself to become weak, so we be weak. Consider the things that you need to stay alive. Do you need admiration from others? Should you depend on sympathy and good behavior from others? Remind yourself of the fact that its the God who is gonna take care of you, not these mortals. Nobody has the power to rescue you. Its you, who have the sole strength to rescue yourself. Have faith in God. Try to depend on Him, and on nobody else. A true love must always start by loving God. It is because only the love for God is truly void of all expectations. So in order to have a matured relationship, you must first learn to love beyond expectations. Please do remember, don't blame anybody. Forgive everybody for all that you think they have done to you. The moment you'd be able to forgive, you would be blessed with this supernatural strength and you will actually feel the strength inside you. ... and that, my dear, will be your new life. Thanks God bless you

We can never go back to who we once were. All experience adds to who we are and while we can heal, we will never be completely the same. Once your innocence is lost, it cannot be regained. Instead you need to learn to appreciate the new person that you are and move forward. Always move forward, never back. Keeping a journal can help with this. Appreciate who you are and don't look back to who you were. Take care.

I would simply suggest to start thinking and focusing on yourself and your study! keep your mind off him and everything that is related to him..It is easier said than done, but time would heal up our pains!!

You can CHOOSE to be that kind, giving person regardless of what others are doing. Remember, It's what you do that counts. Further,people saying bad things doesn't make them true. We all have the power to choose what we deem important in this world. Perhaps, time has come for you to choose what is important to you. Communication is key in all relationships. Always get your message across in your relationships. If they have the entire picture, they can make better choices as well.

Well being yourself gives the real happiness.

My advise is that just become selfish means only care about yourself.For some time just don't think of him.Do the thing that you use to do before relationship.Call your old friends circle and spend more days like you spend before.I used to skeep the school with my friend and we just wonder around the places we like most.And and..........I like those days..........:-)

First of all, you don't want to become the person you once were. You want to grow from this experience so it doesn't happen to you again. Refocusing on yourself, I agree with. Pick out things that give you pleasure. Perhaps take a course to meet some new friends, but don't forget what happened to you as they say, "Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it."

My girlfriend told me the same thing this morning. This hurts me, because actually I'm at work and I'm thinking a lot about this. I never took her love for granted. I don't know why she feels this way. I understand I have not been very caretaking these days and I'm so sorry for that.

I know what you mean -I was a much more cheerful, happy go lucky person before my ex ran me down so much I lost all my confidence and now I suffer intermittent depression but I'm slowly becoming my former self

Beleive it or not this is the perfect time for you to get to know you. Do sonething nice for yourself. I know this sounds a little silly but think about it whoever you were with obviously didn't know how to treat you, care for you, be a friend. Should I go on? The point is you know you are a one of a kind priceless jewel that only a chosen few will have the opportunity to indulge. I say resist any relationship until you're in harmony with yourself.