I think I have "Everyone else is happy but me" syndrome
July 2, 2010 5:44am CST
I don't know why the bfs I'm with in a relationship have been abusive or mentally disturbed. I could have been with other people but don't know why I don't have feelings for those people. Everyone else seems happy. High school friends are happily married, or happily doing whatever. Feel depressed and feel like I haven't achieved as much as I could have. Childhood was abusive and hurtful, but not even looking back there, I guess I keep becoming unhappy with my situation because in comparison, everyone else seems to have stuff going right in their lives. At least from the outside. Just feel sad when a relationship goes wrong, falling into the same patterns that don't work.
• United States
2 Jul 10
if you b/f is abusive in any way. you need to leave him. but with you used to get abused, its like a cicle and you are allowing history repeat itself over and over. if you dont want to live this way, you need to go and seek help to deal with your pass and even now. and if you ever read anything i put on here. this is why so call men hate me.. these so call will make you feel like crap about yourself. knock your selfesteem low. you are so worth to have a real man who will treat you the way you should be treated. dont allow anyone to abuse you never. and dont allow any man make you feel down about yourself. you are so worthy to have a good life, go and seek help. have someone to teach you how to be strong. and learn you are a woman and you should be treated like a woman.
3 Jul 10
I never have the idea that everyone else is happy.What I see in the world is that seldom people can be perfectly happy in life.Everyone has his troulbes.I think the reason you feel that way is due to diffidence and being unclear about what you really need persue in life. I never compare my situation with others'.Can you compare leaf with fruit,branch,trunck,or root of a same tree?They are all different from each other and has their own special postion on a tree and particular mission. We can creat our own life in quite a different style and content,neednot to simulate others.Even if we are unhappier than others,that also mean nothing.The special experience in life is all wealth for spirit growth.
3 Jul 10
i have that idea, but i know its seriously flawed. Not everyone is happy. At least some people act like they are really happy. Actually some people came out to tell me how happy they are, and thats ok since they are my friends, but in a way seriously rubbing it in or something, or maybe thats my interpretation sometimes. Two of them are guys who used to have feelings for me, and so its kinda feels like they are making a point to show 'look where i am now, u didn't pick me'. Theyve always been good friends tho, i think they should be happy. I should be happy too, but i guess thats not possible all of the time. I mean the ur leaf illustration isn't convincing. To me, humans are just like other trees, we are all like trees maybe different ones, but we expect to have some leaves, we expect to grow, we expect alot of things, because we look at other trees and we see that they are a tree, and they have this and that, and therefore we should too. It's like we see other humans, hey they are human, they have a happy life, partner, kids, going on holidays, and are happy with what they do, so we should too. It's natural to want the same or reflect in some part of what we see in society. I don't live in a vacuum, its impossible to think i wont in some way feel as if im off norm if im missing something. And i have time to do all these things, but its just partially because everyone has some kind of expectations, and if trouble occurs, they are likely to at least feel sad for a while. if u had no expectations maybe u could be happy at all time, but its like saying give me a blindfold so i dont see any crimes being committed. I think for me to be happy, i have to feel like im honest with myself. and if im honest with myself, i gotta say that sometimes bad things happen, and its just the truth. As long as i dont linger on that too much, maybe it won't get me down. Its a chance to move forward again. im glad i got it out of my system, i actually think this feeling is very common with people, we always compare. But we should just face the truth bravely and move on.
3 Jul 10
why are you comparing yourself with others. That is so wrong thing to do. never compare yourself to others. You are insulting yourself by doing that. No matter what situation you are going through, always remember to trust the Lord God. He is watching you. Tell him your problems. Go closer to him. Don't think that nothing is working in your life. All things will work. Have courage. Hold on to God. he wil never abandon you. I always trust Jesus in whatever situation I am in. Though sometimes I loose patience. But then I pray to him to give me strength. he is the answer to all our problems. You are God's unique and lovable child. Always be happy that he loves you. He will never leave you. He will come and save you from all your problems.
3 Jul 10
I think you suffer from a need to complain. Abusive childhood, hurtful life, emotional disappointments... you know what they are? Excuses. Stop looking at your background as a reason for your failures; instead, regard it as an obstacle to be overcome. Sure, grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. But remember that you can always take care of your own yard. Good luck!
• Garden Grove, California
2 Jul 10
skaterx oh yes the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. look most people may seem better off than you but how do you know what demons they may have or what problems? try being positive for a change and optimistic and you will soon find a man who can love you for who you are and is not a loser.Look for nice people in the place good decent people hang out. Sounds like you are unconsciously making your own problems, do not pick out losers as that gets you nowhere.