Your best friend too busy to talk to you !!!!!

India
August 1, 2010 6:35am CST
There are times when you are too busy in life. This happens to everybody including your relatives and friends. So when we expect good attention and love from them, they might not necessarily be exceeding or even just meeting your expectations. They might not be in the mood to spend desired time with you or love you. How do you feel during such times? Are you considerate enough to understand the problems or complications in their personal lives, waiting for the appropriate time to come? Or are you too aggressive to misunderstand, gradually affecting your relations?
5 people like this
26 responses
@Chevee (5915)
• United States
2 Aug 10
At these times I have developed the art of patience. Most people in my life are working daily, and have family to take care of or other responsibities. Myself on the other hand is unemployed with a lot of time on my hand. I do find myself lonely and bored with hardly anything to do. I spend this time studying the Word Of God. I am not aggressive nor do I misunderstand them, I just humble myself through that day, minute or hour. Blessings to you my friend.
• India
2 Aug 10
Thank you! Developing the art of patience is a good thing, I like it. But why are you unemployed?
@Chevee (5915)
• United States
2 Aug 10
I worked for a company for 24 years and the company closed, worked for another company for 10 years and that company has closed, all of this due to the economy, I am unemployed not by choice.
• India
2 Aug 10
Then you can work online. I'm going to do the same.
• India
1 Aug 10
No. My friend is never too busy to talk to me. He always finds some time for me and i can always count on him and he on me too. Sure there are times for maybe other friends who lie or maybe just don't answer back your calls. I don't really have any time for them. They wish to be away from us so let them stay that way. I don't force people to be somebody else.
• India
1 Aug 10
Yeah, I agree. In my opinion, a friend who has no time for you is not a true friend.
• United States
1 Aug 10
Hi,TheKingMan,I don't agree with you. At first,I want to say,everyperson will have their own business things to do sometimes,and I think you too. So then,think again,your friends also will have emergency thing to do in one day and will have different mood. so a friend who has no time for me cannot say their not ture friend.that is my point of view.
• India
1 Aug 10
@1xiaoweiwei Sorry, but I still insist on my opinion. True friendship is a relationship where one forgets all his 'emergencies', 'moods' even succusses, failures and prejudices to spend time with the friend and share love. This is what I think.
@annavi23 (6306)
• Philippines
3 Aug 10
sometimes i do understand them,but still i'm hoping to reach out and be loved by them. it's a wonderful feeling if you received love and sweetness from those people who you loved as well. like your title goes,i see myself the one who don't have much time on her best friend. i can see,she's kinda jealous sometimes because i have found friends here in mylot. but i realized,she's special to me and i know how it feels like to be unloved.that's why if i really have time to chat with her or call or even text her,i'd gladly do. cause it's really nice to give love and concern to people who became close to your heart.and it's hard to let go of the as well.cause they have been become a part of your life,through good times or bad. specially when you feel down,there are times you want to talk to your friends,to consult them in your problems.if they are busy,no one will understand you.unless you open yourself to others like here,in mylot.but sometimes i just like my problems to be not broadcast here,so if i had close friends here,they are the ones who i asked for help.and luckily,they are there to reach out and comfort me in a way.
• India
3 Aug 10
We are having plenty of loyal and true friends here in mylot, aren't we? That's why people are getting jealous of me too. Happy mylotiing!
@annavi23 (6306)
• Philippines
3 Aug 10
haha! yeah,the fun of having friends here is special! i guess we both loved mylot, yeah,my best friend is getting jealous cause i have close friends here. which she can't join,cause she don't have time for online stuffs,
• India
3 Aug 10
I think people who are deprived of online stuff are deprived of 99% of the universe, aren't they? Because once we get familiar to online stuff we learn the art of loving our life and enjoying it. That's why I say, "Bread for breadless, land for landless and Internet for all".
@besthope44 (12150)
• India
1 Aug 10
Well expect less from friend and understand more!
• India
1 Aug 10
Hmmm, that's a good way to cheat our own mind and stay happy. But that doesn't mean that even a person who is trying to run away from us might be a true friend.
@sid556 (31037)
• United States
2 Aug 10
If your friend is trying to run away from you then he is not really your friend. I also run away from people that pressure me for my time and get angry when I don't have it to give. I try but I can only stretch so far. Some people expect too much and have little to offer in return.
• India
2 Aug 10
@sid556 As I said I'm coming to a conclusion that identification of true friends is a very difficult job. Thank you for sharing your experiences because I really felt that you are like me! Happy mylotting!
@buggles64 (2715)
• United States
1 Aug 10
A true friend is never to busy to talk to a friend. I think it's more of a factor of moving away, kids, etc, but if you called a friend and they would more than likely be willing to talk to you, well a good friend would want to talk to you. I have had people that have said they were my friend, yet every time I have called, they ignore my messages, or call back and hang up. I am sorry, but in five years, that "friend" could have found a way to talk to me himself personally and it doesn't get any more "personal" than that.
• India
1 Aug 10
Hmmmm, I agree! True friendship is a pure relationship where factors like time and business are absolutely nothing.
@sid556 (31037)
• United States
2 Aug 10
So, I'm not sure I understand you Kingman. So if you called me in the middle of the day really needing to talk and I said to you , "I can't talk right now..I have my grandchildren here and I'm in the middle of fixing them lunch and can you call back later...that would not be ok with you? I'm just saying there are times when the other person is sincerely not able to drop everything and talk . I find time for my friends but sometimes I have to really juggle my time around to do that. I have had friends that get angry easily over things like telling them that I'm just sitting down to dinner and can you call me in a half hour? They don't know and they really don't care if that was my one break during the day...it's all about them and their needs. Actually. that kind of behavior ends up killing the friendship because it is all about their needs and no understanding or consideration to mine.
• India
2 Aug 10
@sid556 Ummmmm, you're right too! Now I'm getting a feeling that identification of true friends is quite difficult, and maybe in some cases impossible too!
2 Aug 10
It depends on what she is really busy about, if it's something worthwhile then I'll understand but if she's just busy with nonsense things then, maybe I'll complain a little about being inconsiderate. But I don't think it would come to misunderstandings because both of us are not the kind of friends who would fight for petty things. Aside from that, I have other friends and she also has other circle of friends wherein she could be with when I am not around. Its just a matter of trusting and understanding each other.
• India
2 Aug 10
You're thinking the right way.
@ptower76 (1622)
• United States
2 Aug 10
Hi, yes its true often we are very busy. But that is what distinguishes loving family and friends from all the rest. Loving friends and family will find ways to make time when one is in need. Loving friends and family will actually search you out to see if everything is alright when they don't hear from you for a particular amount of time. No, friends are never to busy to help a friend.
• India
2 Aug 10
Hmmm, I agree!
@Archie0 (4509)
• India
2 Aug 10
Hello thekingman. It becomes very pathetic at times to wait for people whom we care for. I had many friends but everyone live for only a short period of time in my life, as they get some reason for leading their life further they walk off, i do not have any particular problems with them but now i have stopped making any friend for the reason i don't want to get hurt again and again. I did understand that they should have some specific reasons to do that, but i think not everytime your become the cause for that reason. I believe i am the most patience person i can tolerate, but then not always.
• India
2 Aug 10
Hello! If you understand Marathi, you are a 'Punyachi Mulgi', isn't it right! Happy to see an Indian response! Happy mylotting!
2 Aug 10
My response would depend on how serious my need was and how they explained to me why they were too busy. If I'm just depressed because I've fallen out with someone at work, for example, then I would quite understand if they told me they were really busy and would speak later. However, if it was a really major problem - like a bereavement or a real disaster - then all my friends would be there for me. Give and take is what is required.
• India
2 Aug 10
Hmm, that means you have great faith in your friends which is a good sign of pure friendship.
@sid556 (31037)
• United States
2 Aug 10
Hi TheKingMan, Welcome to Mylot! I actually do understand when people are busy, etc. I also get busy and try to juggle friends, family, kids, job, keeping up the household, etc etc etc. I find that those that are not understanding of when I don't have time for them are those that have way too much time on their hands. I am one that will answer the phone at 1am and listen to you vent or whatever. I'll do whatever I can to make time for the people I care about. If I can't fit someone in it is because I really really can't. If they don't understand that then the problem lies with them. I really don't get upset when someone doesn't have time for me and I don't take it personal at all. I will agree that those that do take these things personal do affect their relationships with people. If someone continually gets upset with me and pressures me to spend more time with them and they start feeling like a 2nd job...I do find myself wanting to avoid that person rather than trying to pencil them in.
• India
2 Aug 10
You're just like me, in that sense.
@tedifa (1236)
• Indonesia
2 Aug 10
Maybe between you and your friend not in a good time.You're still sensitive and your friend still in bad mood.Try to understand that situation.And do again if you're already calm,maybe ask your friend for dinner.
• India
3 Aug 10
OK But a true friend doesn't need to be told that you need him, his love because a true friend is the one who has merged into you and your soul.
@asiregar (866)
• Jakarta, Indonesia
2 Aug 10
most importantly the sense of mutual affection and respect for one another in order to avoid a sense of mutual suspicion, and hence to create a healthy relationship
• India
3 Aug 10
A pure relationship is something beyond the need of expression or communication by any means. It's the merging of two souls.
@m_perez (506)
• United States
2 Aug 10
Actually I think it's me whose to busy to talk to my friends or go to places with them. I really don't know how they feel especially know that we have grown apart. I try to make time for them so I can catch up on things and get closer to them.
• India
2 Aug 10
Imagine how you would feel when a person you're in need of tries to run away from you.
@p3ks626 (6551)
• Philippines
2 Aug 10
I considered my journal or my diary my best friend so every time I need to tell her something, she is always available to listen to me and know how I feel about something. I have never considered anyone to be my best friend cause I can always rely on my journal and I feel like I cant tell anyone my secrets but I can always say it to my journal.
• India
2 Aug 10
No doubt, books are our friends. But sometimes, we really need human friends who can share our feelings.
@Crog81 (9)
• United States
2 Aug 10
two
• India
2 Aug 10
I didn't unerstand. What did you mean? Please make it clear.
@GIRLBITS (228)
• Philippines
2 Aug 10
No! Maybe she's miles away from me but she always finds time to keep in touch.
• India
2 Aug 10
Then I think, she's a 'true friend' sharing pure relationship. Happy mylotting!
@laydee (12820)
• Philippines
2 Aug 10
As we grow older, our priorities change and though we don't intend for people to feel badly about our lack of time for them, they should understand (and us as well) that things won't stay the same forever. I could remember how long we used to talk with my friends way back when we were younger and still in school. We'd be virtually together the whole day which extends mostly during the weekends. But as we moved on to our lives, studying in school far apart in distance, we soon found ourselves keeping in tough through mails, online and sms. Things changed again when most pursued careers in other places and eventually settled down to have a family of their own. Though we still get in touch, the frequency became less and less but it doesn't mean that our friendship ended. We understand fully that as friends, we need time for other people as well, most importantly our families. There will be times when I feel alone and I can't reach all of them, but that doesn't cause me to be angered at all. I know that sometimes in life, you have to face things on your own and it's great to have to conquer something alone because you'll have the greatest time talking about it with friends.
• India
2 Aug 10
You are saying that you do have true friends and although you cannot literally spend a lot of time with each other you share strong feelings for them. I really appreciate it because that is what is called as 'true friendship'.
@doormouse (4619)
1 Aug 10
lately i've either been too busy or too ill to go and visit my friends as much as i normally would,but they are always welcome to come to my house,i'm decorating at the moment so they can only come round without their kids,so i'm not being very sociable at the moment,,if friends are too busy to see me i don't mind coz i know what it can be like,trying to catch up with painting,washing,cleaning etc
• India
2 Aug 10
Hmmm, that means you are very kind, understanding, and quite considerate. Thanks for sharing your experiences. Happy mylotting!
• India
1 Aug 10
as every friend like me is running for money ,hence they are not able to spare time,if any have financial intrest he will certainly tal to me,thx for sharing
• India
1 Aug 10
In true frienship, financial or any other personal matters have no place to exist.
• United States
6 Apr 13
i know this is three years old, but i gotta say, the op seems very needy. A friend is not a lover, they dont need to hold your hand every step of the way. friends are not building a life with you, they are simply a small, yes small but important part of your life. i remember when i was without school, job, etc. did i spend more time with friends? no. only with family i live with. they are #1. boyfriend is #2 because you wish to build a life together. you have #3 a job, #4 school. and #5 friends. friends are important. but on a scale of importance, they rank /#5 for me. i need my friends and they are like family. my bff is a love of my life. but when i live with my mom and dad or sister, im spending time with them first at breakfast. then my bf at noon because he is always on my mind, then im going to work at 2 to 8. then im studying cuz i have a test tmm. and then i wanna sleep. i'll probably text my friends through out the day if im not too busy to remember. they are not in my day to day life, they dont work with me, live in my home or go to my school! if they need to speak to me during my busy ruitine they can text and say "hey call me when u can..big news". dont be selfish and think that THEIR life revolves around you.