Introducing a new friend to other friends

@KateVonP (172)
United States
September 16, 2010 10:47pm CST
Why is it whenever I introduce a new friend into my group of friends they end up being more of a friend to my friends then me? Does anyone get what I'm saying? Lately the last couple of people I have brought into our little tight group have been just by passing me and not inviting me to hang but instead now hang with my friends instead. Am I being crazy about it? I don't ever say anything to them but sometimes it really bothers me.
2 people like this
6 responses
• Philippines
17 Sep 10
Well in that case, you should tell your friends on what is that thing that is bothering you inside. You might have some time sharing, because that's what makes the bonding stronger. Another reason is that sharing makes the group tight. So u must tell them before they completely forget you.
@KateVonP (172)
• United States
17 Sep 10
That's true. I should ask them what is going on and see if it's just me being crazy about the situation! Thanks for the advice!
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
17 Sep 10
Hmm... I don't see anything wrong with introducing friends to other friends, but what is wrong in the picture is that they start to hang out with the new friends without even inviting you to join in the fun. It's really weird that they could start hanging out immediately after you just introduced them then they hang out without you? I think there's a miss there. How could someone be comfortable with someone who just been introduced a few times or once? Anyhow, perhaps there's something with the people you're with. The good side of things is, perhaps you have similar tastes and likes that is why they could be comfortable almost instantly with each other. Don't look at it the bad way, perhaps you should look at the good side of things, at least you know how to get people together.
@KateVonP (172)
• United States
17 Sep 10
Thanks I appreciate you advice. Sometimes I wonder why I am getting pushed out of the picture but maybe they aren't pushing me out. Maybe I just get more upset about it then I really should.
@pandapig8 (362)
• Philippines
17 Sep 10
I know how you feel. I've had that same kind of experience. You should just be happy for your friends that they have something in common with your other friends. At least you'd be able to hang out with them at the same time. with your problem regards them not inviting you, why don't you just try inviting them. If they make excuses because they wanna hangout with your other friends or they just say that they wanna hangout with your other friends and it bothers you then talk to them about it. They're still your friends and they deserve the right to know. Just like in any relationship, communication is vital because it allows you to know what it is that you need to work on in both sides of the situation. If they don't do anything about it after that then I guess that they don't deserve to be your friends after all. You just have to be open about how you feel at the opportune moments when it is presented to you. Friends should be comfortable with each other, that's why they are friends. They put each other at ease and not the other way around.I hope this helps.
@KateVonP (172)
• United States
17 Sep 10
I appreciate your advice. I think I am definately looking at this from the wrong angle and getting upset when I shouldn't. Sometimes I say something about why they didn't invite me and my good friends always say "you know you're always invited" so I guess I shouldn't just assume I don't have an invite! Thanks for the advice!
• Malaysia
17 Sep 10
Ah, it's like you introduce someone new to the group and everyone wants to hang out with them but not with you, correct? You might want to look at the new friends and see what they're doing. Sometimes it could be that they're more outgoing than you and more likely to say "yes" to hanging out when your friends ask them than you could be. It could be that your "old" friends know you well, so they know that you might not like a certain outing but your new friend might, so that could also be part of the reason? Otherwise, you might want to try organising more outings/hang out sessions with your friends? Keep in touch with them often, either by IM or by the phone. Sometimes it could just be a temporary or unexpected gap in communication.
@KateVonP (172)
• United States
17 Sep 10
That's true about how my friends know what I'd like to do and not to do, so they know whether to invite me or not. That is a really good point that I didn't even look at. Cause I mean they still talk to me the same I guess sometimes I just feel left out and that may be why!
@writersedge (22579)
• United States
17 Sep 10
Maybe they just find people they have more in common with. I had that problem in college. I would introduce roommates to friends and then loose my roommate.
@minx267 (14591)
• Hartford, Connecticut
17 Sep 10
Yes, I understand. that used to happen to me all the time when I was younger..