How long are you going to help someone who is always in need of your help?

I would really love to give him the fishing rod and teach him to fish himself. Giving the fish would just be of a temporary measure. I've learnt too that we can't help someone who refuses to change for the better if what he wants is just to be helped without him having to do anything. People like this need help of a different nature. They should either be left to fend for themselves on their own resources or be given more of a pep talk.

Hi Supermommy In My Opinion (I do not reflect here what others feel or think, it is just me) Talking about relatives, we have two sets of relatives - Immediate and Others(I do not know what to call them so used this word). Immediate refer to our parents and their children and Others encompass everyone else in our family(cousins,...). Now, when it comes to helping our Immediate relatives, I think there is no end to it especially if you are the eldest(first born in your family). For me, I am not going to leave out helping my parents. Parents too have a special thing - they wouldnt ask for help unless it is that important. You, as a child have to find out where they need help and give them the support whenever you can(if it is financially and you are not that stable (like me)). As for siblings, Indian society needs the eldest to take care of, share the expenses incurred on the younger and stand by them whenever there is a need. Modern Indian society this seems to change and people hesitate and do not perform their roles and responsibilties - I owe this to the modernization. As for all others, you may decide to help as long as you want to. It is your personal choice. Regards, Sids

I know how you feel. I helped raise a family member to only have them turn and treat me as if I was nothing. People tend to walk all over me but in their defense I guess I let them. There have been many times that something has happened and I had no one there to help me, even in emergencies. Although it hurt, I had to realize not everyone was like me. I do everything I can to help others and never ask for anything in return. They on the other hand are willing to help friends out before family. I saw many times (after my car being crushed by a tree) that my children and I would have to walk a few miles to town for food when no one would help and give us a ride, even though I offered to pay them. They all have their own lives to live. but as for those that don't want to help themselves, sometimes no matter how hard it is on us and no matter how much we want to help, we have to draw a line so they can learn to do things for themselves. Now that doesn't mean not to help support them emotionally, but some may need help in learning to grow up. It's the same as if teaching a child. If you do everything for them, they never learn to do it themselves. If you teach them to do it, they learn and have you to thank for it.

I help those who really need my help, and I do not help those who can help themselves.

true enough, it is our natural instinct to lend a helping hand to those in need especially to our relatives. but if they seem to be relying on you all the time, i think it is better to tell them straight that it is not because you are refusing to help but that you are also tying to help them stand on their own feet.

As long as they need my help. If I can help, I will not ask for a replacement. I just love to help, that's the only thing I can do to make a big difference in my life. It's very overwhelming!

you can only help someone so much before it affects you and your family. we had a guy living here like that. he had no where to go, his wife and her family kicked him out, so we let him stay here, eat our food etc. however, he had no ambition. he did nothing, was very lazy, had no job etc. we kicked him out too after 3 months.

yes its true that people also need to help themselves if they can. its definitely not fair to the other family members if the other person doesn't help themselves. i've been in situations like that where i've felt like my family members could of done more. i also have other family members who i feel are doing too much for their family. To be honest about it i think the some of my family is using the other family that's helping them. the reason their helping them is of course because they love them but i don't think the family that's using them is showing enough love towards them. quite frankly some of my family is too old to be put through the things their going through.

I would only help if I am able to and most likely I cannot because I have my own problems. If one is busy at perfecting oneself, the others will realize that you are busy and may see from your example that they need to learn to help themselves. I try to help only for the benefit of myself, if that doesn't work, I would stop, but sometimes, it can get hard when to do it.

I feel this way towards a friend sometimes. Everytime I try to distance myself from her she comes back into my life. Not sure how long I will jump to help her but I have put my foot down on somethings that she knows Ive had enough of.

We should always be willing to lend a helping hand to someone who needs our help. We shouldn't limit to how much we will help someone if they are truly needy. If helping someone interferes with living your life and the needs of your own family, you may have to think hard before offering too much assistance. We all have problems that we need to deal with. If what we can do makes someone else's life a little brighter it would be worth it.

If you think that those people are becoming so dependent of you, then it is about time that you stop helping them.. But do not ignore them, explain to them why you should not help them. SOmetimes, helping is not about handing money, it's about making them realize what they have become, and what they need to change to themselves so they can become self -reliable. You can help them by making them realize their faults, giving them a brighter look of the future.:)

I can say that forever as long as your help will benefits him/her and will take good effect. Don't help others which you think abusing your help and don't help people which will make them free from any illegal doings. Please choose the one which is worthy of your help.

I think, its a good thing to help people if you enjoy it too. I find that it makes me happy when i help people. I can see that theres a chance of it getting annoying, if the same person is always coming to you, and with problems that seem to be caused by themself. But maybe instead of giving up on your friend you should help him/her to not make those mistakes, and help them to stay out of the problems. I believe that humans have some resposibility when it comes to helping people who need our help.