I am going to go bald!

@celticeagle (116649)
Boise, Idaho
September 21, 2010 2:26pm CST
between my grand son and my daughter they are causing me to pull my hair out. My daughter doesn't want a confrontation with her son. SHe has never been very consistant with him. Rarely at best. So lastnight I took it on. Didn't want to but I did. It was 9:30p. which I think is too late for a seven year old to be outside playing. I took the opportunity when he dashed in to tell him he was not dashing back out. He turned to do just that and I grabbed his arm. BIG MISTAKE! He pulled- I pulled. Ended up accidentally stabbing him in the neck with my thin, long and sharp middle finger nail. Ouch! So he screamed like he was dying, the neighbors that were outside gocked in dumb befuddlement and I cringed. My grandson knows he can get away with murder with his mom. I think he knows better with me now. But, was it worth it? When the policeman came the other day (I called them because he had locked himself in the bedroom and was throwing things out the window)he told me I could drag him home even spank him as long as there were no marks. OMG! Has it come to that? He has a PSR worker that works with him twice a week. The school is planning to set up a meeting to start disciplinary guidelines because he is acting out now at school. But they won't even hold the meeting for awhile because they are under staffed. So, what is a grandmother to do? Mom is getting better but not nearly strict enough with him. I am just not into going through this again. (Had guardianship of his sister for twelve years) Am thinking Big Brother Big Sister but they have a long need list. The father is way out of the picture. Any ideas? Thoughts? Thanks ahead of time.
2 people like this
5 responses
• United States
21 Sep 10
You're the grandma, its not your job to discipline your grandchild. I know that if you don't nobody will. Its up to the parent unless the parent is absent or you have sole custody. I would seek some counseling at a church or a place you know of that will help. It seems like the mom doesn't want to do what she is supposed to do, there may be some behavioral problems with the child and its best to find out what those are before it gets out of control. I know that love can always help the child but love has to extend beyond patience. I wish you the best.
2 people like this
@celticeagle (116649)
• Boise, Idaho
22 Sep 10
I am the grandma that has chosen to go back to live with my daughter after a four month falling out and manic phase on her part. Long story. A lot more goes into this than you are aware of. I was asked to come back to help her. She has problems. Our lives are not normal. She has manic/despressive disorder and I have severe depression. I think my grandson may have manic/depressive also. Not fun.
@Hatley (164777)
• Garden Grove, California
22 Sep 10
oh my Celticeagle that shou ld be the mom;s job and why has she not done this a long time back. She should be having boundaries for him as all children need directions. Sounds like whatever she is doing is too little and too late.It sounds like he needs to see a child mental health worker along with his mom. she needs some help definitely with that child.I would really let mom deal with it as its her child and she needs to become a parent not just a spectater.If she will go to a childrens mental health workersne can get some help and learn how to control her own son. I really would wash my'hands of him as you already have taken great care of his sister, and you sure do not need all that trouble again.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (116649)
• Boise, Idaho
24 Sep 10
Josh does have a PSR worker and will be going to a counselor at some point. His mom has problems and if you read the other responses you will see the extint of them. She can't handle confrontation. SHe has anger issues too and is afraid she will go manic and that wouldn't be good.
@hvedra (1623)
22 Sep 10
You are right that consistency is the key but also getting control of the situation before it gets out of hand. This means recognising when he is starting to act up and jumping on it before he moves up several levels. Kids often start out with one bit of bad behaviour and then go for another and another and sometimes by the time the adult around them has realised they are acting out the kid is in full flow and it is a lot harder to stop. Your daughter needs to step up and start parenting. She might not like the idea of confronting him but better to do it while he's seven and can be corrected. As they get older it gets harder and if she doesn't he'll be running her life by the time he's ten.
@celticeagle (116649)
• Boise, Idaho
24 Sep 10
He doesn't 'move' he leaps. He has been diagnosed with Anger and mood disorder. We are going to get him re-evaluated. He just wants to do what he wants to do and sometimes he will listen but rarely. My daughter does need to step up but she has a problem with confrontation. He can get aggressive real fast. And nasty mouthed. We are working with a agency that has the PSR in place twice a week but we need some family counseling and him to be re-evaluated because I don't think the meds he is on are helping. I don't even like having him on the meds but can only imagine how horrible he would be without them.
@Lakota12 (42684)
• United States
22 Sep 10
not sure about what he has but looks like no disaplin in the begging is now showing in a bad way. and yup we been told that to spank leave no marks. Well it all goes back to spare the rod spoil the child! Sometimes a swat on the butt works wonders
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (116649)
• Boise, Idaho
23 Sep 10
And he'll report it at school. He has already said so. Family counseling is up next.
22 Sep 10
the things arent so bad, they just need attention. may there be person to see what is to be seen. look at the bright side, think positive and pray. soon the problem will be resolved. and everybody will be happy again.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (116649)
• Boise, Idaho
23 Sep 10
Wish it were that easy. Thanks for your response.