Have you ever spanked your children?

@webearn99 (1744)
India
September 23, 2010 11:36pm CST
I am guilty. Once in a while parents do not have a choice. I know it is natural for children to drag parents to the limits of sanity and sometimes beyond. They seem even to sense the worst day of our lives, to be the devils. As for my childhood I don't remember a day when I was not punished. The usual way was a stinging slap. I teens it actually became a game between my mother and me. Most of the time she didn't mean to slap me and I didn't mind it! Seems strange, but that was the sort of bonding we had and I value that. I will any day give a hand and a leg for may mother to come back from the dead and slap me once, just once. How did you handle disciplinary issues with children?
1 person likes this
10 responses
@kquiming (2999)
• Philippines
24 Sep 10
yeah i could say i'm guilty too...i feel the same way. but i did it because i have no choice. and if i don't discipline my child that way, i'm afraid he may turn out worse.. as for my parents slapping me...no i've never experienced that but i once experienced being beaten with a leather belt. it was painful. i don't do that to my child.... i hit him (not very hard) like on his hand if he does something awful... but that's it...i don't think it was painful for my child anway because he never cried. lol. but it was effective because he stopped...he didn't like being embarrassed in front of his peers.
@kquiming (2999)
• Philippines
24 Sep 10
i'm really sorry to hear that :( i don't think my dad meant to do what he did to me....and thankfully the belt beating never left scars on my legs and back
@webearn99 (1744)
• India
25 Sep 10
One short spurt of punishment and then a lot of reasoning and love to make the child understand why it occurred. That is all needed! Spanking once too often makes a child rebellious.
@kquiming (2999)
• Philippines
25 Sep 10
@webearn99 - i agree.............
@vandana7 (57187)
• India
24 Sep 10
Hi webearn - I did not slap but I did have drag a child. Actually I was preparing for my exams, and I was staying at their place (no hostel facility was available and I had already lost my mother because of their family - I didnt know then but dad knew. And in any event - dad never listened to me even when I said I didnt want to stay at their place). I was working hard. Her mother was making me sweep and mop the house, wash vessels, lay bed, remove bed, take her second son to school, bring him back, make tea, bring vegetables on way home, and do some errands. It was very difficult to study as it would get too tiring. But she wouldnt hesitate in sending me to call her daughter from her friend's place. After I had been to their place for a couple of time (3 or 4 times) to call the girl, and the girl wouldnt come, I just got annoyed and dragged her. I was helped by the girl's older brother who actually started it because i was asked to take him along. I regret that because in retrospect it looked so bad.
@vandana7 (57187)
• India
24 Sep 10
I must have been around 16 or so. The girl was around 11 years old. :( I should have known better. :(
@webearn99 (1744)
• India
25 Sep 10
What you did was what you were told to! Sometimes you do need to get physical, particularly with the stubborn kind and there is nothing to it.
@celticeagle (114323)
• Boise, Idaho
24 Sep 10
My spatted my daughter on the bu$$ ONE time, she let out a howl and got so upset I never did it again. I was told the other day when I had reason to call the police that we could spank them as long as we didn't leave any marks. Weird coming from a cop. My mother was back handed me because I came up behind her. Only the one time.
@webearn99 (1744)
• India
25 Sep 10
It is said in some scriptures, "Do not hit children with an object, for they are not objects, but salvation of your lives" This is true! Ultimately their smallest success is our biggest and their smallest sorrow is our biggest sorrow. That is the way a parent's heart works. I don't know about leaving a mark, but I do know, if I spank my child with my bare hand, I suffer the same pain I inflict. Physical pain may be more with the child, mine will be both physical and mental.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (114323)
• Boise, Idaho
27 Sep 10
I do agree. I think kids mirror what they see and get from us. I just isn't good. On so many levels.
@kiran8 (14867)
• Mangalore, India
25 Sep 10
I am totally against physical punishment of any kind. My own mother never did it with us and neither did I....I remember an instance when I was very angry with my son who was driving me up the wall, and happened to push him away. He lost his balance and fell and it made me miserable, still does .I feel that we should never use spanking as a disciplinary measure...
@webearn99 (1744)
• India
27 Sep 10
Not spanking is good! There is no doubt about it. You are lucky to have a role model for this. In my case, you know what happens in a large family. And my being the last in the line. In addition to the largest amount of love I got the largest amount of punishment. My mother did not have enough time to sit, analyze or reason with me. It was one smart slap that always settled the matter! I love her for this.
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
25 Sep 10
I will not smack my child, even though my child to make mistakes. I tried to be patient and advise him. Although sometimes very difficult to give advice, but I try to be patient and do not smack my child.
@webearn99 (1744)
• India
25 Sep 10
That is a good way and will work too! Unfortunately I can hold my patient for a while and then, it is fireworks.
@joddie (173)
• Philippines
24 Sep 10
I remember i spanked my eldest son when he was only a child then. I do regret it and promised myself not to do it again. I do believe that we cannot discipline our children through it. My other siblings did not haven't got any from me.
@webearn99 (1744)
• India
25 Sep 10
It is an irony that sometimes we have to do something wrong to set something right. Like "Son if you don't quit beating your sis the I will spank you!" I mean what is the difference? But what needs to be done needs to be done. This may not be the only way to discipline a child, but certainly it one of the ways.
@shia88 (4582)
• Malaysia
24 Sep 10
Hi, Sometimes when my son started to get naughty and it is over the LIMIT,then I will beat him on his leg,not very hard beat,it is kinda a reminder for him not to repeat his naughty behaviour. Of course, most of the time, I will give him a reminder,but yet, when I was busy with something else and he just did not listen to my instruction, I tend to get angry and explode,so beating is a way for me to get firmer.
@webearn99 (1744)
• India
25 Sep 10
The whole point of spanking is just that. To remind them that things can and may get worse if they cross the line. It is the fear of the punishment rather than the pain of it that kind of tells them to behave.
• United States
24 Sep 10
I do not have any kids however I do not want to spank my child when I have any. However, when I was little my parents spanked me as punishment... I hated it.
@webearn99 (1744)
• India
25 Sep 10
Well! No spanking is the best situation. Best of luck for that!
@bobmnu (8160)
• United States
24 Sep 10
I have never spanked my children in anger. The few times I did resort to spanking was because they were engaged in either very crule activies or very unsafe and Iwanted to make my point quickly and effectively. They knew that if I or their mother spanked them it was serious and they better change behavior NOW.
@webearn99 (1744)
• India
25 Sep 10
We never do! I is not the anger, it is the concern that they will land in trouble! Since the divide between these two emotions is blurred, and so at least in the perception of the children it becomes anger. In due course of time they realize this. For the children with their limitation of the understanding of life, it acts as physical reminder of what happens when things are pushed too far.
@dorannmwin (36692)
• United States
6 Oct 10
Most of the time I punish my children by giving them time out or other punishments like that. However, there are times that I will resort to spanking them. For me I try to reserve spanking them for the times that they are doing something that is a very dangerous act. I think that when a child is putting himself or herself in danger there is no other option but to spank them when they are doing something that they shouldn't be doing.